December

After passing 2m, I turned the corner again. Entering the kitchen, it felt like returning from a dreamland to reality.

“Yeonwoo, you can take a breather now.”

After tidying up the dishes at the words of the assistant, I straightened my back and stood up. Inadvertently, I looked around. The assistant hyung followed my gaze and worded his thoughts as if he remembered them.

“Sous-chef, shouldn’t Kim Shin take a break too? Does he still have to cut the onions?”

The sous-chef, who was talking with the chef at the far end, looked at me but then turned his eyes away. But why did he look at me first?

“The boss went to him some time ago. He’s the dominant alpha, but he knows how to handle it, so don’t worry about him.”

“Dominant Alpha? Wow, Kim Shin was a dominant alpha? No wonder, he felt so different. Yeonwoo, don’t you think so? Have you ever seen an Alpha like that? Do you see them at school?”

Not at all. There was only one person he knew who was Kim Shin. But he didn’t answer and just smiled vaguely when he heard the sous chef’s sharp warning.

“Yeonwoo, be careful of that Alpha. You know how selfish and entitled dominant Alphas are.”

“Well, Yeonwoo is a recessive Omega, right? You better be careful with dominant Alphas.”

The chef also added, and the assistant hyung asked as if he didn’t understand.

“Why? Both of them are Alphas and Omegas, so isn’t it good if they meet?”

“Good? Hey, which dominant Alpha would be crazy enough to meet a recessive Omega? To them, a recessive Omega is only a toy to satisfy their desires for the rest of their lives…”

The sous-chef raised his voice, then stopped at me and cleared his throat.

“Anyway, you should be unconditionally vigilant and careful of dominant Alphas. There’s no way they would ever treat you sincerely.”

I heard a lot of similar stories around me. So, there was nothing wrong with his advice, but I didn’t want to hear it this time. I took my break and came out. I didn’t even want to eat cup ramen for some reason, so I was thinking about where I should go, but I heard a door open behind me. My heart skipped a beat before I could even look back. It could be a feeling of anticipation, or it could be a premonition triggered by my sixth sense. As a habit, I ignored this trembling and turned around.

“Yeonwoo Sunbae.”

Kim Shin called me. Confirming the existence that satisfied my expectations and sixth senses, my heart beat again so loudly that I could not ignore it.

“Aren’t you cold?”

“It’s cold.”

He looked down at me and then looked around.

“Where shall we go?”

He looked toward the convenience store. It was bright and there were other people there, so it was an appropriate place to be less conscious of him. But greed controlled my hand and pointed the other way.

“We can rest in the warehouse.”

I took him inside the unheated warehouse. I turned on the light and sat down on the stacked boxes, and he also took a seat nearby. There was an awkward silence for a while. I, who was quite sociable, could not stand the awkwardness and opened my mouth first.

“Was it hard to peel the onion?”

“Yes. My whole body smells like onions.”

It wasn’t true. I could still smell the refreshing forest. I barely held back the words that were about to come out and offered comfort.

“When I worked in the kitchen, the smell of food rubbed off on my body. I’m sure my body smells like sauce too.”

“You do not.”

“Yes?”

When I asked again, he answered as if muttering, averting his gaze.

“Yeonwoo Sunbae always smells good.”

I couldn’t see his face because I was brushing my hair with my hand, but I wondered what he looked like because I felt embarrassed. I was stupid to think that he wasn’t talking about the pheromones and gave a reasonable answer.

“Oh, I washed myself well.”

“Yes, twice a day.”

How did he know I wash twice a day? Oh, probably because everyone does the same?… Should I wash myself three times now?

“I’ll wash harder so that I always smell good.”

I expressed my promise to his praise, but his gaze scanned over my body once. He turned his head to the side and ran his hand over the nape of his neck. I didn’t know why he seemed flustered this time. Of course, I must have been mistaken.

He was cold and impassive when he was with other people, so there was a gap in his personality when he was with me. Maybe that was why I probably misunderstood his reaction. But, no, he couldn’t be like this only in front of me. When I came to his senses, I blamed myself, but then I heard his low voice.

“Are you close with the sous chef?”

“No. Not particularly. I am like everyone else.”

As he was about to ask why, I remembered the scolding he received from the sous chef today. He must have hated it.

“Isn’t it difficult?”

He just stared at me strangely. What was wrong with my question? I was puzzled, but he took his time slowly before answering.

“Can you help me if I’m having a hard time?”

“Yes, I will help you…Of course, I couldn’t keep my promise until the end at the library, so the reliability is low, isn’t it?”

As I mumbled his excuses, he accidentally caught my hand. Come to think of it, his hand was also injured from helping me.

“My hand is fine now.”

As if he noticed my gaze, he explained first, but that only aroused more guilt.

“How can I help you?”

“Please be by my side.”

“…Are you going to beat up the sous chef?”

He smiled and said no, then added.

“Not yet.”

What?

“You just need to treat me like how you treated me with the handkerchief while I was cutting the onions. Comfort me, talk to me, and keep caring.”

“Will it be difficult?”

To think it was going to be difficult…It was something anyone could do if they just listened to him. But if it was the person in front of me, the story was different. He was like a magnet. In order not to be dragged away, I was barely holding back, forcibly recalling my reason and advice from people around me. But if I did as he said, it seemed like I would cling to him in an instant. However, like how I had brought him to this place rather than a convenience store, desire won this time as well.

“Okay.”

He looked at me as if he had stopped breathing for a moment, then slowly opened his mouth.

“Please do it now.”

“Consolation?”

Yes, he nodded and showed me how.

“Speak to me.”

Was that comforting? I thought he was joking, so I stared blankly at him, and he added with a smile.

“It feels like we are getting closer. I think that would be really comforting.”

“It’s a consolation that should never be used for an elderly person.”

It wasn’t a big deal, but as if he had heard the funniest story in the world, his eyes widened and his laugh grew bigger. I couldn’t take my eyes off the smile and nodded my head.

“Okay. I’ll speak informally to you, Shin.”

In an instant, his laughter disappeared. The gaze that stared at me also changed to a different feeling in an instant. The lights in the warehouse weren’t very bright, and the air was cold. Could it be because of that? I don’t know. At that moment, I felt like I was going to be eaten by him. An eerie, goosebumps spread inside. But this wasn’t unpleasant.

Sigh.

He pushed the iron chair he was sitting on got up from his seat and strode towards me. His hand came close to my face. My heart sank to the floor. But his hand went past my face and brushed something off my shoulder before it fell.

“Shall we go?”

I nodded at his question, but the opposite words came out of my mouth.

“Go first.”

He obediently went out first. As soon as the door closed, I lowered his head and covered my mouth with my hand. Haa, I thought he would kiss me.

I stayed up almost all night again that day and left the house to go to work. I couldn’t get rid of the image of Kim Shin whom I saw at the warehouse all night long. As if he had kissed me, the delusion made my body excited as if it had brought about a forced heat cycle.

When the stimulation of rubbing my genitals had my hands paralyzed, I even had the illusion of his pheromone scent filling my room. If he pushed me against the wall in the warehouse, put his lower body tight behind my back, and let out a hot breath in my ear. Even my imagination made me breathless.

I vividly recalled what I felt in the library bathroom. I couldn’t keep count of how many times I masturbated thinking about him last night. Of course, guilt and shame followed me the next morning. I was still confused when I took the subway to work after completing the errands my mother had asked me to do in the morning.

The sous chef’s words that a recessive Omega was just a toy to quench the dominant Alpha’s sexual desire, my uncle’s warning that I shouldn’t go through what happened three years ago again, the words of my kind aunt who was worried about me, and yet my body couldn’t help but be attracted to him.

Fortunately, I didn’t tend to worry about a single problem for a long time, so I dozed off on the subway the whole time, but the mixed and complicated thoughts still existed on one side of my head like a tangled earphone string. However, reality came first.

‘This station is xxx, xxx.’

An announcement from the subway penetrated my half-conscious mind. Shocked, I opened my eyes in surprise and checked the information board. It was the station I had to get off at. I hurried to the door and blinked a few times trying to come to my senses. So I didn’t notice that someone was watching me.

Soon the subway stopped and I waited for the door to open before I hurried out. If I didn’t run because I was a little late today, I would be late for my part-time job. I climbed the stairs and came out of the station in an instant. I still had the drowsy energy from when I was dozing off, but the cold wind of winter thankfully blew away the rest of my sleep.

It was cold. A cold wind that would make a sane person even more sane hit my face. I paused at the entrance to hurriedly fasten my scarf. I thought I had prepared myself to some extent and started walking on the sidewalk block, but stopped again after only a few meters.

“Hey, hey!”

I turned around when I heard a voice calling from behind. Me? The question I was trying to ask couldn’t come out because of a man in his early 30s who was looking at me. He opened his mouth shyly with his face flushed red in the cold.

“We rode the subway together. I’m an Alpha, are you an Omega?”

I didn’t answer, but he continued without making eye contact.

“Hm, if you’re single right now…”

“I have a boyfriend.”

The stern answer that I have become accustomed to with several experiences came out of my mouth. The shy man blushed even more and stuttered his words.

“Oh, yes, of course you do. Then maybe…If you need a pheromone partner, oh, feel free to contact me…”

Even though they had a lover, some people often asked for a pheromone partner. A pheromone partner was a kind of contractual relationship that helped release heat at an unavoidable moment. Even if they had a lover, if they were not by their side in an emergency, they usually couldn’t wait, so many people made several pheromone partners for emergencies. Of course, I didn’t need it because I was the type to thoroughly eat my suppressants.

“No, I only do it with my boyfriend.”

At the second refusal, he blushed and lowered his head.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. So…”

He fidgeted, then pulled a business card out of his pocket and held it out with both hands. He politely bowed his waist, so I unknowingly bowed at the same time and accepted his business card.

“This is my first time doing this. I’m not a bad person, I’m not the kind of person who would unconditionally claim an Omega. It’s my first time chasing after someone like this…Sorry.”

There was nothing to be sorry for, but before I could reply, he turned around and disappeared into the train station as if he were running away. I was embarrassed, so I was standing there dumbfounded when I suddenly heard a question from the side.

“Who was that?”

When I turned around in surprise, Kim Shin was looking at the entrance of the subway with an expressionless face.

“When did you come?”

He must have heard my question, but he kept his mouth shut and looked down at me. When I was about to ask again, he muttered to himself.

“You told me that you would comfort me.”

Comfort? Ah, those words. Even amid nervousness at his sudden appearance, I smiled and I put strength on my face to hold it in.

“When did you come…Hm?”

His eyes softened. But soon, looking at the business card in my hand, he returned to his previous expression.

“Who is this?”

Someone I don’t know, I muttered and put the business card in my pocket. I should throw it away later, I thought, but his gaze followed the business card he put in his pocket to the end.

“Alpha?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”