Desert Company: Retrospective

He saw a bloodbath.

Suruj saw his mother and brother. They were facing him.

“Why couldn’t you save us?” His brother Koi asked him.

Suruj turned his eyes downward. The fresh hole where the swords had pierced their superplex. He began to wail. Was there something, even the slightest thing he could’ve done?... He felt a pain in his chest, dropping to his knees. His mother kneeled down to him and raised his head using her fingers.

“You are the one that should’ve died.”

 

Suruj woke up in somebody’s lap. Instinctively he grasped his left hand, to see that two of his fingers were gone. They were patched up with a cloth. His eyes processed the surroundings. He was back in the wing. The wind was calm, no one present. Where were Saya and Ashojan? His eyes started to tear up remembering what had happened in that domain.

“You awake?”

Suruj looked up to see Hyun-woo, with his arms crossed.

“I- I…”

“Toqemur forced me to make a lap pillow, she wouldn’t stop annoying me until I did,” said Hyun-woo, cracking his knuckles. “We don’t know what to do about-”

“It’s fine, I’ll get up now. Where is she?” He got up, stretching his fingers. It was like he was an animal.

“She’s in her room, 08, second floor,” Hyun-woo indicated with his eyes.

“Thanks,” He began to run, but stopped for a quick moment. “Xiè xiè.”

He ran up the stairs, only to stop to lean on the wall. Suruj’s body ached everywhere. He was weak. He couldn’t help anyone. He couldn’t save anyone. Instead he got used as a bargaining chip by the person that operates Al-Wa, Thiệu. Using his strength he pushed himself towards the door, and knocked on it.

“Password.”

“I’m awake.”

“Suruj?” The unlocking of a bolt sounded as the door opened ajar with a creak. There he saw Mouka, with a worried expression.

“There’s something I want to discuss.”

“Heh? Then come in,” Mouka gestured, letting him in. “Thiệu sent Saya and Ashojan somewhere. They’ll be back in three days.”

“Oh…”

Her room was neat, as if it hadn’t been used at all. The only furniture that had signs of usage was the rugged couch. The table was empty, and there was a scent of the red sarilang flower, a plant that grew in the plains of the northern and southernmost points in the world.

Mouka sat down on the couch, landing gently on the cushion.

“So? What does Mr. Zundui have to do with me?” She stretched her arms in the air.

“After everything at this point…” He took a seat next to her, “You’re right. I’m no hero. This isn’t a Buhang tale where people get the things they want in the end.”

“Woah there. That was forever ago, you still remember that?”

“As clear as day. That was the warning for me to know that I wasn’t capable as I thought I was. There won’t be a day where I can become as strong as L, or Kwazhak, or-”

“The moment you start to compare yourself to them is when you’ll lose,” Mouka flicked his shoulder. “You’re no hero. We’re not the main characters of some Kakai epic. We’re just human. We’re problematic, pragmatic, greedy and stupid at the same time.”

“And so I’ve decided,” Suruj added, “I’ll get stronger. By the time Zurgaa comes around, I will defeat Thiệu. If I can prove my worth, then I won’t be a burden for anyone else.”

“Now you’ve done it,” Mouka rested her head. “That way of thinking is bad as well. There’s no need to prove yourself to anyone.”

“...”

She stood up and walked to end of the room, and took a sarilang out of the cupboards.

“Anyway, I think you should check on Tvuj,” Mouka smiled as she placed the flower in her hair, twirling around.

“Is she doing fine?”

“She’s a bit out of it, and since she’s a social giraffe, there’s no one to console her here,” Mouka replied, “I’ve tried talking to her but because she only understands Azu and Galag, we’ve been having trouble. And now that Saya and Ashojan are being punished…”

“I thought she was becoming more accustomed to people…” Suruj stared at the carpet, clasping his hands together. “I’ll talk to her this evening. After all, she saved me on the ship that day. And I need to apologize…”

“Thanks Buhang boy. Funny enough, she says that exact reverse of your perspective,” Mouka tilted her head.

After putting his shoes back on and leaving Mouka’s room, he decided to rest on his own. He didn’t even want to think about his missing fingers, for even the thought of them made his brain ache. Suruj could remember the sharp pain exactly. He had to humble himself, since Kwazhak had it worse, losing an entire arm. Yet Le Prince said no complaints, nor grievances towards his maimed limb.

It was evening, and the sky was pitch black. The building was illuminated with saharic bulbs. Suruj came out from Saya’s room, having informed her Obaa of the situation. She was quite concerned; and asked him to let her know Saya’s time of return. Next was that he fulfilled Mouka’s words, although a part of him wanted to check up on Tvuj as well. It took him a while, but Suruj finally found her next to the door of his sleeping quarters.

“Ah-”

“I-”

They didn’t say anything for a moment until Suruj unlocked the door with his assigned key.

“Douzo,” He gestured. Tvuj bowed quickly as they both took off their shoes.

It was dark, as Suruj couldn’t see anything. He felt his way to the cupboards and found a candle. Then Tvuj put her hand towards it.

“Mahou Apoy.”

A tiny flicker and the wax was starting to melt. Suruj put the candle on the limestone table as they sat down. Suddenly, the door shut itself, scaring both of them. Suruj wondered why Tvuj was waiting at his door. Did she have something to talk about?

“S- so I heard from Mouka that you aren’t feeling okay, about what happened outside… You good?” He spoke Galag without thinking about it.

“Are you good? Your hand…” She responded with a shaky voice, rubbing her arm.

“It’s okay if I don’t think about it. Are you getting along well with everyone?”

“Yeah,” Tvuj nodded slowly, “I’ve been able to talk with Saya and Toqemur, and a couple of the others. Toqemur even helped me try to manifest saharic particles!”

“Really? Can you do it now?” He realized what he said. She could accidentally blow up the place like when he tried to use Alam Baohu.”Wait ne-”

“Okay, she taught me to go like this,” She slapped both of her cheeks with her hands, her face becoming a stinging red. Holding her breath, Tvuj made a whimpering noise as she tried to activate the particles in the area. Suruj was stone-faced. In his mind, he cursed Mouka. Then something did manifest, a particle the size of a dust mite glowed and levitated towards her. And a large sigh of relief.

“Suruj, I have something to tell you,” Tvuj said in a serious tone, “I’ve decided on my name.”

He remembered the words he said from what seemed like forever ago. “You don’t like ‘Tvuj’?”

“‘Tvuj’ sounds like a good name,” She looked away as her long black hair followed the motion, “So I’m keeping it. But I’ve thought of my given name, where you said for me to come up with it myself,” The girl placed her hands over her heart. “Hosyi. Ang pangaa ku’y Tvuj Hosyi, and that will be my full name.”

At that moment, Suruj’s brain exploded with the nearest search of his memories.

“Aniweis, ze Aru-Wa boat and this boat ar heading towaads the Yahmajô̗ kontinent. Zei and we ar furaiying ze northern wind. Follow ze stars, ‘hosyi’ of za warudo. Zei konnect za tu kontinents tugeza.”

Right now. she was speaking in Galag the entire time, as if she was a Buhang herself. Shortly, his eyes started to water up, glistening to the candlelight.

“Hosyi. When we get out of here, I will take you to a beach,” He promised, wiping his eyes.

“Hosyi?! That’s so cute! Mash khöörkhön!”

The two of them looked at the direction the voice came from. Mouka appeared from the darkness and hugged Hosyi. A ‘hah?!’ slipped from Tvuj and Suruj’s mouths.

“You were watching?” He stood up from his seat, as Mouka nagged Hosyi playfully. “And you understand Galag?”

“Jose Perez,” She waved her forefinger, resting her head on top of Tvuj’s. “He agreed to teach Galag if he could learn the other languages we speak. On top of that, I lived in Dyak-ar-salaam, so isn’t that Buhanggilog?”

“Why did you listen in on us in the first place?” Suruj crossed his legs. Mouka put her hand to cover her smug expression.

“Well, I called the both of you to talk to each other in the first place, hehe.”

“W- What?!”

“Uh, what are you guys talking about? I don’t understand Khoit…”