How a D-Class Alchemist Avoids Death

“Hyung. Save me!!”

“You bastard, I’m going to kill you!”

Taeju, who had run urgently from the end of the hallway, hid behind my back.

As if hiding his head means he’s entirely hidden, what the heck is he doing? Just as I was wondering, I saw Woo Hanseong holding a hammer, striding confidently towards us.

“Hanseong-ssi?”

“Go-woon-sii, move out! I, I’m going to kill this guy!”

On closer inspection, tears were welled up in Woo Hanseong’s eyes.

What’s going on? This doesn’t seem like a simple fight. What happened while I was out grocery shopping?

“Come here. You perverted jerk.”

“Hey! Why am I a pervert?! What did I know to act like that?!”

“Isn’t it stranger not to know?!”

I have no idea what they’re talking about, but their loud voices are driving me crazy.

To calm Woo Hanseong down, I set the bag down and reached out.

“Whoa whoa. Calm down, calm down.”

“I can’t calm down! I, I’m going to kill him and go to hell.”

“You’re already destined for hell.”

Amid all this, it was hard to understand why Taeju, who had been hiding and begging for help, was snickering.

“Just shut up for a bit!”

“Why are you only on her side and not mine,” Taeju responded sullenly to my rebuke.

What kind of side does he expect me to take while he’s stirring up trouble?

“Hanseong-ssi, calm down and put that thing down first. This is my house. You’re not planning to wreck it again, right? If we lose this place, where else are we going to find a house?”

Did my persuasion work?

With teary eyes, Woo Hanseong reluctantly put down the hammer.

As soon as I saw the hammer gone, I took Woo Hanseong’s hand and we moved to the sofa.

“Hey. You, go and get some water.”

“Water? Why water?”

“Just get it when I tell you to. Isn’t all this mess because of you?”

“Shit, you always blame me.”

As Taeju grumbled his way to the kitchen, I turned my attention to Woo Hanseong, who was still biting her lips, and asked her as I sat her down on the sofa.

“What did he do?”

Despite being a dark fantasy, Taeju was still the hero of the novel.

Just like a hero, he was somewhat righteous and kind. He wasn’t the type to do something unethical…

I was sure there must have been a misunderstanding.

“Huh? What happened?”

Recalling my past life as a runaway teenager, I coaxed her gently, and finally Woo Hanseong, glaring at Taeju who came with a cup of water, spoke.

“He walked into the bathroom.”

“Ah, bathroom… bathroom… What a freaking pervert!”

I burst out yelling, to which Taeju retorted as if he was wronged.

“I really didn’t know! How would I know she’s a girl?!”

“She clearly looks like a girl!”

“Her hair is short like a guy’s!”

“So long hair means you’re a girl?!”

At my words, Taeju closed his mouth. Even he must realize his argument was flimsy.

He walked into a bathroom where a girl was showering. Did he destroy the house and bring her here on purpose to do perverted things?

“No! No matter what you think, that’s not it! It’s a misunderstanding! She wasn’t even naked!! She was only slightly undressed on top!!”

“You son of a b*tch! Is that what you call an excuse?!”

“Damn it! This is unfair!!”

I smacked him as hard as I could.

My belief is that all perverts deserve to be beaten to death. So, I’m definitely going to kill this guy today.

“Really! I really didn’t know! I was just going to give her clothes!”

“Why are you the one giving her clothes?!”

“She needs to have clothes to change into! If I knew she was a girl, I wouldn’t have done it! Really! Believe me!”

“B*stard. Your long tongue is the sign that you’re a pervert. No, Hanseong-ssi, can you summon the hammer again? I’ll smash this guy’s head for you.”

I confidently held out my hand to Woo Hanseong. Regardless of who the protagonist is, I am going to kill this guy today.

“…You really didn’t know?”

But, Woo Hanseong’s reaction is strange. Why is she reacting like this when just a while ago she was threatening to kill him?

“Hey, if I had known, I wouldn’t have invited you to our house!”

Taeju answered in a whining tone.

“Why are you, the offender, talking to the victim like that! You clearly haven’t been hit enough!”

“No, I really didn’t know! I really thought she was a guy! Look! How does she look like a girl?!”

Taeju hit his chest with his fist. He even seemed on the verge of tears.

“Swear your name on hyung’s1?”

Suddenly, Woo Hanseong said something strange. Hyung? If it’s hyung, it’s me…

‘Why swear on my name?’

I was curious, but Taeju’s response was serious.

“Yeah. I swear on hyung’s name. I really didn’t know you were a girl.”

What’s this about swearing on me or not swearing on me?

“Then I’ll forgive you.”

Woo Hanseong’s subsequent reaction was also strange.

‘What, she believes him because he sweared on mine?’

What happened between the two while I was shopping?

“Shit. You really are stubborn, aren’t you?”

“Hilarious. Hey. Even if I were a guy, that would’ve been a faux pas.”

“You’ve got some nerve.”

The sight of the kids who were just a moment ago fighting to the death now conversing so nonchalantly left me even more bewildered.

What on earth is the flow of this conversation? Am I the only one unable to follow along?

“Hey, five-to-five match?”

“Yeah, let’s go three rounds.”

“Okay, let’s group up.”

A command to eradicate school violence had been issued, and I remembered hearing the students’ conversations when I was patrolling the high schools.

Back then, Detective Kim said it was a generational gap. Was this also a generational gap?

‘But, I don’t have that big of an age gap with them, do I?’

Amid the confusion of not being able to understand the situation, Taeju’s comment was what snapped me back to reality.

“Hyung, now that we’ve reconciled, make us some food. I’m hungry.”

Could this punk really have a starving urchin living in his stomach? After making such a mess just a moment ago, he’s suddenly hungry.

I was about to retort when suddenly…

“I’m a bit hungry too.”

A voice chimed in, and I had no choice but to swallow the insult that had made it to the tip of my tongue.

“Ah. Okay.”

“Wow. Why the difference in reaction? Why the discrimination?”

I snorted and then headed to the kitchen, collecting the bag I’d left in front of the door.

“You’re making spicy braised chicken breast, right?”

“Shut up. If you’re not helping, get out.”

“I can help.”

“No, it’s okay. I prefer to do it alone.”

“Ah. I wanted to mention this before, but please speak informally. I’m your junior, after all.”

“Oh… Alright. You rest if there’s nothing to help with. You too, out.”

I waved my hand, and Taeju, with his lower lip sticking out, left the room.

It was ridiculously easy for this guy to sulk. I was certain that any woman who ended up with him would have a hard time.

I shook my head and started preparing rice and spicy braised chicken breast.

***

“Hey, isn’t my brother cute?”

“You’re insane.”

Seo Taeju grinned at Woo Hanseong’s disgusted expression.

Some people just couldn’t resist messing with others, especially if they got a reaction every time. Woo Hanseong was one of those people.

At first, Woo Hanseong hadn’t made a great impression, but the more Taeju saw her, the more he found her to be a decent person.

She didn’t take advantage of Seo Go-woon and treated him respectfully, even if she didn’t extend the same courtesy to himself.

More than anything, her strength in slaughtering monsters in the dungeon gave Taeju confidence that the girl could save Go-woon in a crisis.

“But can I really stay here?”

“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

“You brought me here without knowing I’m a woman.”

“Yep. But so what?”

It was true that Seo Taeju had mistaken Woo Hanseong’s gender. However…

“No, I mean won’t you be uncomfortable because I’m a woman?”

“Why would it be uncomfortable just because you’re a woman?”

Taeju asked genuinely curious. It wasn’t a problem that Woo Hanseong was a woman.

She had enough power to protect herself, had a distinct ability as a blacksmith, and above all, she had done her best when Go-woon was in danger.

“Ah.”

A thought did cross his mind.

“Now that I think about it, you might be a little uncomfortable.”

They were using separate rooms, but she might feel uncomfortable living in the same house with two men she barely knew. Taeju scratched his head at the thought.

“Do you want me to arrange for you to be a bit further away if you’re too uncomfortable?”

Woo Hanseong slapped her chest as if frustrated.

“I’m not the one who’s uncomfortable.”

“Well, that settles it. I’m not uncomfortable with you being a woman, and my brother knew you were a woman and still invited you. So what’s the problem?”

“Are you really okay with it? You said earlier that if you’d known I was a woman, you wouldn’t have asked me to come.”

“Ah, that… Hmm.”

Taeju pretended to ponder, then rubbed his chin with his index finger.

“Well, that’s obvious. You might have been uncomfortable.”

“What?”

“Don’t overthink it. If you’re okay living here, you just need to keep one thing in mind.”

“…What’s that?”

In the rather grave atmosphere, Seo Taeju flashed a youthful, playful smile at Woo Hanseong.

“Don’t fall for me.”

Woo Hanseong threw a sofa cushion at Seo Taeju, who had once again made an ‘X’ with his arms.

“Damn it, why do you always joke around when I’m serious!”

With a snicker, Seo Taeju picked up the thrown cushion, then felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

“Hold on. Hello?”

—Taeju, it’s me.

It was Seo Moon-no-eul.

“Ah, noona.”

—Ah, I’m sorry. I know you’re on a holiday, but there’s a request for support due to a rift.

“A rift?”

—Yes. It’s an area managed by the Hunter Association, but it seems like more monsters are pouring out than expected. They’ve requested support because they can’t handle it. The location happens to be near your home, so you would probably be the quickest to respond… Can you go?

“Ah… I have to eat… Fine. I’ll go.”

With that, Seo Taeju ended the call and headed towards the kitchen.

Normally, he would have ignored such a request for support, but he couldn’t ignore it this time as the rift had formed near his home.

Just as he was responsible for protecting Seo Go-woon, he also had a duty to protect the precious nest his parents had created. The emergence of danger nearby meant not only the house, but also Seo Go-woon, who was cooking, could be in danger.

“All he ever talks about is food, food…”

Upon arriving in the kitchen, Seo Taeju, looking at the back of Seo Go-woon who was busily cooking, was reminded of his mother.

“Mom…”

“Oh my, such a big guy acting like a child. Do you think you’re still a three-year-old?”

‘Back then, mom’s smile was really beautiful.’

“What is it?”

The voice interrupting his reverie wasn’t particularly affectionate, but it reminded him of his mother’s deep voice.

Seo Taeju grinned and said, “Hyung, sorry, but I think I need to step out for a bit.”

“Step out? But you said you wanted to eat? What’s up?”

“Yeah, a rift formed near our house. They sent a request for support.”

“A rift?”

Seo Go-woon frowned and mumbled something under his breath. Seo Taeju didn’t hear it clearly, but he inferred from the context that it was something along the lines of ‘why didn’t that person go?’

“What do you mean ‘why didn’t that person go?'”

“No, it’s nothing. So you’ll be home late?”

“Huh? Yeah.”

“Got it.”

Nodding his head, Seo Go-woon turned his body and started cooking again.

Perhaps blood couldn’t lie, because Seo Go-woon’s food tasted just like what their mother used to make. Seo Taeju, who had been anticipating the spicy braised chicken, felt a bit sullen.

“I wanted to eat it, too.”

Just as he was about to turn around, he heard a small voice.

“I’ll save some for you. Warm it up when you get home.”

Seo Taeju turned his head and looked at Seo Go-woon. His ears were turning red, probably from the embarrassment of saying such a thing.

‘Just like dad, he gets embarrassed over things like this.’

Seo Taeju, remembering his father who may speak gruffly due to his shyness but always remains honest at heart, chuckled as he spoke.

“You have to leave a lot behind.”

“Just shut up and go.”

“I’ll be back!”

Seo Taeju blew a hand kiss at Woo Hanseong, who frowned as if she were listening to their conversation again.

“Crazy bastard.”

“You old fart. Enjoy your meal. You know how good my brother is at cooking, right?”

Seo Taeju, who energetically waved his hand as a farewell, his expression turned increasingly impassive as he walked out of the front door, and by the time he arrived at the rift, his face had transformed into the cold expression he used to show his older brother, Seo Go-woon, in the past.

***

“Vice Guild Master.”

“Report.”

“The rift opened about two hours ago, and the monsters are Giant Fang Cheetahs, and Tarkas. Ten hunters from the Hunter Association and additional hunters from Taesan group are handling them.”

“Taesan?”

Seo Taeju frowned.

“Yes. Guild Master Shin Sooha, Kim Gyuwon, Lee Kiju, and Kim Sunmi are present.”

Seo Taeju didn’t understand why Shin Sooha was there – sure, he himself lived nearby, but Shin Sooha was not the type to travel such a distance to clean up a rift.

‘Why is he here?’

“Vice Guild Master?”

Seo Taeju, who was lost in thought, gave a dismissive wave at the voice calling him.

Seeing the guild member who had bowed deeply step back, Seo Taeju was just about to draw a sword from his infinite pocket when he heard a voice.

“Hello?”

A deep, resonant voice rang out, as if it could penetrate the ground.

Turning his head, Seo Taeju furrowed his brows once again.

He was not particularly glad to see the man standing before him.

The man, who smiled as he met Seo Taeju’s eyes, was the hunter Shin Sooha – a person who, with his very presence, could dominate the surroundings, and recently had been frequently associated with Seo Taeju’s older brother, Go-woon.

Hanseong’s supposed to call MC oppa here, haha[]