I am Destined to Die

Just then, the fluorescent lights went out with a bang. In an instant, the darkened room was filled with moonlight streaming in from the window. The moonlight soon seeped into the artifact on the floor, and the white figure began to distort as it soaked up the brilliant light.

I must stop it before it’s too late. I hurriedly reached for the artifact. The page snapped in half and giant wings sprang out of the gap.

“Whoops!” I yelped in surprise and froze in place, the wings flapping as they tried to open the gap wider. The crack is a rift, the wing belongs to Fenex, and the demon sealed in the spirit is trying to tear through space and time to get here.

“This is… What…….”

I panic, my mind going blank. All the while, Fenex continued to widen the rift little by little, and by the time I came to my senses, three wings were flapping in the air. It was like watching a giant bird struggle in a trap.

Fenex has six wings. To make matters worse, if his head came out, there would be no way to escape. As I tear at my hair, I remember the conditions of its awakening like a flash of lightning.

‘Wash away the sins of the bloodthirsty beast.’

Wash away sins …Yes. That’s what baptism means. A believer is baptized to wash away his sins and be born anew. The same is true of giving the baptized a baptismal name and calling them by that name. So maybe ‘that thing’ can be baptized too and be reborn as a non-demonic creature.

This is a gamble. Since I can’t perform a ritual like exorcism, I have to bet on the possibility of awakening. Even though I am only a believer, I shouldn’t baptize others, but this is not the time for such things. If we let this go, it won’t be long before Fenex’s rampage begins. So we must complete the ritual before he is fully summoned.

The first thing I need is water, so I head straight to the kitchen. I took a clear glass from the cupboard and filled it with cold tap water. My hands shook frantically as I filled it. The shadows of the wings on the wall moved menacingly, as if they could swallow me at any moment.

Will I succeed, will I be able to take on that monster, alone, without any help?

Already, my senses are fading from my toes, as if the Fenex has dazzled me. I can hear people shouting in the distance, and I feel my breath catch in my throat as shadows sway menacingly. One by one, the events of my time in the gate come flooding back to me.

The smell of blood, voices calling out to me, the distorted faces of my parents.

And then the smell of blood, the voice calling me again.

And……

“Huh…!”

Suddenly, I felt a cold liquid on my hand. The next thing I know, the tap is overflowing, filling my cup to the brim. I turn off the tap and calm my breathing. There was no time to hesitate.

Will I succeed, will I be able to take on that monster, alone, without any help?

Already, my senses are fading from my toes, as if the Fenex has dazzled me. I can hear people shouting in the distance, and I feel my breath catch in my throat as shadows sway menacingly. One by one, the events of my time in the gate come flooding back to me.

The smell of blood, voices calling out to me, the distorted faces of my parents.

And then the smell of blood, the voice calling me again.

And……

“Heuk…!”

Suddenly, I felt a cold liquid on my hand. The next thing I know, the tap is overflowing, filling my cup to the brim. I turn off the tap and calm my breathing. There was no time to hesitate.

In theory, the priest should recite a lengthy prayer of blessing over the clean water. But all I can remember is looking over my shoulder as I watched the priest perform the baptismal ritual as a child.

Holding a cup full of water, I knelt in place and recited a prayer.

“Lord. I come to you through the grace of your son…….”

I gingerly placed my fingertips into the cup, groping for a vague memory.

“Let your power come upon these waters.”

I traced a holy arc with a hand dipped in the clean water and murmured.

“Wash away all my old transgressions… and let the water make me new.”

As soon as I finished, I opened my eyes and peered into the cup. Sure enough, it was just ordinary water, colorless and odorless. You can’t tell the difference between holy water and plain water with the naked eye. So the only way to tell is to do the ritual.

I scrambled to my feet and turned around. He had already taken out his fifth wing. It wasn’t too late. I took a calming breath and thought back to when I was baptized in the church.

The first thing I did was pour holy water on his head and say…….

“…No.”

It’s too dangerous to wait for the head. Part of the body. I have no choice but to let the holy water touch his wings. Clasping the cup between my hands, I recited the threefold sacrament.

“I, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit……”

Then the baptismal name should be called. But I couldn’t think of a saint’s name right away.

“In the name of…….”

I mumbled something along the same lines, and then suddenly remembered a story I’d heard somewhere.

They say there’s power in a name. If I gave it the name of a strong man, I might be able to contain the power of Fenex. And if I gave it the name of a strong man, I wouldn’t have to struggle. There was only one being in my mind.

I called out to the five wings that filled the room.

“Michael.”

The wings moved menacingly for a moment, then came to a standstill. Without missing a beat, I sprinkled holy water on them and shouted.

“I baptize thee.”

An agonized scream came from somewhere, followed by a burst of light from the creature. The light was so bright that my vision went black, as if all my optical cells had been burned out. It was a long time before I could see again.

The first thing I saw was a spirit, but it didn’t look like the one I knew.

“What is it…?”

There was supposed to be a picture there. A grotesque figure of Fenex, with six wings, closed eyes, and parched lips, with a warning to never summon him, along with his powers.

‘Those who are mesmerized by the sound of Fenex’s voice find themselves plunging into his mouth. If you find yourself face to face with a Fenex, do not be fooled by the sound of his voice. If you are weak-minded, your mind will eventually collapse.’

Thus, Fenex’s tinnitus became a singer of eternal rest, or death. But the painting was gone, as if someone had erased it. Even the words beneath it had been completely changed.

[He who desires rest, give him the stars of the sea, and acquire a song, and he shall dream the dreams he desires. Those who hear his song shall escape reality for a moment, and fall into a tranquil rest]

If what is written in the artifact is true, Fenex has been baptized and reborn. Awakened, he is no longer a bird of death.

The one who soothes lonely souls, giving them a moment’s respite. His name,

“Michael.”

At that moment, I heard the flapping of wings at the window. I looked up, startled, and saw a mysterious creature sitting on the windowsill.

It was like a bird born by the light of the moon. Every time it flapped its wings in place, tiny rays of moonlight scattered across its body. It had six wings on a body the size of a parrot, and its tail feathers were as long as a peacock’s, dragging on the ground. Its eyes were closed tightly, as if it had degenerated, and long red streaks ran down its face like tears.

It looked eerie, like a statue of a weeping angel, and yet I was mesmerized by the graceful way it picked at its feathers with its beak in the moonlight. It was a far cry from the ghastly demon that had lurked in the darkness and beckoned to me, but I knew exactly who it was.

“Mi… chael? Is that you?”

When I called his name, he stopped picking his collar and looked at me. When he reached out his hand carefully, Michael spread his pure white wings. The sound of flying into the air and singing was very beautiful. As I listened to the sound of birds as if I had entered the forest, my eyes closed.

“Uh… La…”

The feeling of my body rising was like walking on clouds. Eventually, I lay as if I were falling on the bed before I could sit on my hand. In the distant consciousness, the bird’s voice suddenly turned into a human voice.

The singing of a woman humming without lyrics. It was a lullaby that my mother sang for me when I was young.

How long has it been since I slept for 10 hours without having a nightmare. Even when I had to wake up, my eyes opened spontaneously without an alarm. My tired body became lighter and even my head, which was hazy as if it were foggy, became clear.

Maybe it’s because I had a good night after a long time.

“Michael?”

I wanted to say thank you, but I couldn’t find him around. I wondered if he still had that peculiarity of only appearing at night. Somehow, I knew he was hiding somewhere, so I looked at the window where he had sat last night and smiled.

“Thank you. I slept well thanks to you.”

I muttered, and as if to answer, a breeze blew in from outside the window.

It was a good morning, but there was one thing on my mind.

‘He who desires rest, give him the stars of the sea, and he shall have a song.’

I have heard the song, and I must give him something in return. But I haven’t given him anything yet. Besides, I don’t know what a sea star is. If it’s a nickname for something, I’ll have to look it up.

While I was feeling a little down, I suddenly spotted some shards scattered on the ground. It was shiny and white, like white sand. I knelt down to pick it up and realized it was a broken shell.

”No way…….”

I look up at the dresser in front of me, which is filled with mementos of my dad. Leaf-shaped magnets from the arboretum, postcards from museums, pinecones from camping trips.

The most treasured of all are the shells I picked up on a trip to the West Coast with my dad. I put them all together on a plate in case I lost them, but one of the big ones was missing. To be more precise, there is only crumbs on the floor, as if someone had shredded it.