I am Destined to Die

His frowned brows seemed to urge me to explain it properly. Inevitably, I took a step closer to Simeon and said in a small voice that only he could hear.

“You said that before. …you were looking for a way to erase ‘him’ from your memory.”

Simeon’s face hardened sharply as soon as ‘him’ was mentioned, although I did not mention the name on purpose. The consequences of messing with him were severe. The eyes shining alone in the shadow stared at me as if they were going to kill me. I shook my head, assuring him that I hadn’t done it on purpose, and opened my mouth cautiously.

“I also… have a memory that I want to erase.”

I don’t expect to lift the curse. I just want to erase my memory before I die. I only have 8 months left, and I have to completely erase Heo-sang out of my head in that time. And only then, will I be able to rest in peace without any guilt, regret, or remorse.

“Until now, I had almost given up because I couldn’t find a way, but…. you have the same purpose as me, and that’s why I’m asking you.”

As the truth conveyed. Simeon’s face softened further. Simeon, who had been thinking for a long time, sighed and nodded.

“Okay. If this is a success, I’ll think about it.”

“Then…”

“However.”

Simeon spoke with a straight face and determinedly.

“If things go wrong, don’t come back to reality.”

“What?”

“I’m saying don’t drag your grudge out here.”

Does that mean to remain in the rift forever. There was no sign of mischief on his dull face. He meant it when he said don’t come back. I felt a strange tightness in my heart.

“Wait a minute, Simeon. That’s…”

Panicked, Ju Shin-hwan tried to say something, but Simeon raised his hand to block it. The cold gaze seemed to warn him not to interfere anymore. Finally, after Ju Shin-hwan took a step back, Simeon continued.

“You take full responsibility for what happened. Do you understand? After seventy-two hours in the rift, when your body disintegrates and you’re left with nothing but your consciousness, don’t even think about coming out.”

My breath caught in my throat. At first glance, it sounds like he’s trying to scare me to stop me, but knowing Simeon, he probably means it, as he always has. And he’s not deliberately giving me harsh orders. I’ve never known anyone who was harsher on themselves than Simeon. Perhaps the Apostle…. At least Simeon always approaches the rift with that attitude.

I didn’t want to run away irresponsibly.

“I will.”

“You make up your mind pretty easily.”

“That’s because I’ve been willing to do it from the beginning.”

Simeon’s resolve was unwavering, so he didn’t argue any further. Just when it looked like things were about to get out of hand, Ju Shin-hwan, who had been quietly watching from the sidelines, suddenly made a strange suggestion.

“Now that this has happened, why don’t you let Shin Ha-jae stay in the ark until this is over?”

“What?!”

I couldn’t help but exclaimed. Simeon looked at Ju Shin-hwan with wide-eyed confusion, but Ju Shin-hwan wasn’t kidding and spoke seriously.

“There was no reporter near the gate because I didn’t inform it in advance today, but the security guard must have seen Shin Ha-jae. No matter how much the association keeps its mouth shut, how long will it last. Therefore, I think it would be better to safely enter the ark because Shin Ha-jae is followed for no reason.”

It seems to be considering my safety, but perhaps the top priority for Ju Shin-hwan is the security of information. Let’s keep him on the ark and keep an eye on him before he can follow us and cause us any trouble. I think that’s what he wanted to say.

Simeon also nodded slowly as if he had read the intention.

“I don’t know what kind of unexpected behavior Shin Ha-jae will do, so that’s better.”

I felt like a ball that didn’t know where it was going to bounce. Well, I accepted the actions I’ve done so far. I don’t want to be falsely accused of being the mastermind like before. But.

“But… Don’t you ask about my opinion?”

Even though I’m in the position of being a second-class citizen, I could at least said my opinion. When I expressed my displeasure, Simeon let out a cold sneer and finally spoke.

“Will your refusal change my decision?”

With those words, I meekly followed them.

There was an awkward silence as we went up to the ground. After that, as soon as he went out of the bunker, the bodyguard waiting in front of him talked to Simeon. I slowed my pace a little, not wanting to disturb the important conversation, but Ju Shin-hwan suddenly came to my side and whispered in a low voice.

“To be honest, I was nervous.”

When I turned around, Ju Shin-hwan was looking at Simeon’s back with a very calm expression. What are you talking about with a face like a person who lived without knowing that he was nervous for the rest of his life? When I asked, “What?” Ju Shin-hwan glanced at me and said.

“The situation just now. It’s my first time seeing Simeon argue with someone.”

“First time? So, in all the time you’ve been working together, you’ve never had a disagreement?”

“Not that we haven’t, but…. Within the Apostle, his orders are absolute, I know, and since Simeon’s decisions are reasonable in the first place, there’s never really a situation where I can argue against them.”

I nodded vigorously because I could totally relate to that.

When it comes to work, Simeon is always right, which is why I feel like I’m being unreasonable whenever I ask for something outside of his plans. It’s a good thing Ju Shin-hwan was there to back me up this time, or else I wouldn’t have seen the rift.

“Actually, you saved my life by taking my side.”

“I didn’t do anything else. Rather, I would like to say thank you from my side.”

“…For me?”

Ju Shin-hwan, who nodded, soon looked at Simeon with warm eyes.

“I only found out today that he can make various facial expressions.”

With that, I recalled the look on Simeon’s face from the gallery to the bunker. Panicked as soon as he saw me, angry when I told him I was going to the rift alone, sneering that this was no place for me, angry again at the mention of John, and finally laughing. With a look of disbelief, of course.

I was just wondering because there was no situation for Ju Shin-hwan to smile as happy as he is now.

“I thought he was just angry all the time….”

“Haha, it’s just that I’ve never seen all that before.”

Is it similar to what Raphael said before, “Simeon is changing little by little thanks to me.” Sadly, I am not the one who positively changes him, but the one who drove him to this point.

Ju Shin-hwan, who was not aware of the complicated situation, smiled pleasantly and tapped me on the shoulder.

“I hope this will be a success.”

“Haha…. I hope so.”

We crossed the no-access line and arrived in front of two cars parked side by side. Of course, I tried to get in Ju Shin-hwan’s car like when I came, but he apologized.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go somewhere else for work.”

“What? Then…”

“Simeon will go straight to the ark, so you can take that car.”

Hold on. You want me to ride with Simeon? I turned my stiff neck and looked at the car in front of me. Simeon was already in the car, but I couldn’t see him, and the bodyguard was standing there with the back door open. He looked like he was waiting for me to get in.

I didn’t want to, but I knew I couldn’t walk away, so I bowed to the man who’d given me the ride.

“Thank you for today, sir.”

“See you next time. Shin Ha-jae.”

I bowed and jogged toward the car in front of him. When I got in the car, Simeon was reading the documents on a tablet PC. I glanced at the screen, wondering if it had something to do with the case, but saw nothing but English, so I quietly looked away.

Then the bodyguard in the driver’s seat asked Simeon.

“Where should I take you?”

“To the nearest door.”

“Yes, Mr. Simeon.”

The car drove out in silence.

If we’re going to the ark like this, do we use the ‘key’? A mysterious object that can go to the ark with a door with a keyhole anywhere. So far, Simeon has put me to sleep in strange ways whenever he comes and goes to the ark to hide the existence of the key from me. Then am I going to be carried out in a faint condition again…?