I am Destined to Die

As I stared dumbfoundedly at the receding figure, I heard a dry voice.

“Shin Hajae.”

“Yes, sir?”

“I’ll show you the way.”

Looking at the stern employee’s face, the spirit that had escaped because of Simeon quickly returned.

I followed her around the Ark. I thought there would be nothing to do on a desolate remote island except the sea view, but I was able to enjoy more diverse cultural life than I thought in the Ark. There are plenty of books in the study that won’t be enough to read all month, and the fitness center is equipped with hot springs and swimming pools, and there is also a home theater with large screens and expensive speakers. In addition, it was literally a paradise because the chef is always on call, and you can eat whatever you want.

“Do all the apostles stay here?”

“Most of them do, but you probably won’t run into them often.”

Everyone was so busy with work that they rarely stayed on the Ark for long. My hopes of meeting another apostle during my stay were dashed.

“You can sleep in this room.”

The room they opened was the one I’d been locked in before, and while I didn’t miss it at all, I couldn’t help but feel reassured by the familiarity of the structure. Once again, the closet was filled with clothes that were frighteningly close to my size. How did they even know my underwear size, let alone the styles I often wear… I didn’t ask.

After the guidance, she stood in the middle of the room and spoke like a machine.

“You don’t have access to a key, so if you need to bring something in from outside, please let me know. If you have to go out inevitably, I will convey my intention to the guild leader.”

“I don’t think I’ll have to go out, so I’m free to move around inside the ark, right?”

“Yes. Anything else you need, you can pick up the receiver over there and talk.”

The employee said, pointing to the phone on the bedside table. Rather than being watched, I was relieved to understand that this was more like a hotel’s room service.

“If you’d like, I can bring your daily meals to your room.”

“Oh, please do that.”

“What food do you prefer or can’t eat?”

“I eat everything well. No allergies.”

After a short question and answer, the employee ended up saying that she would bring dinner later. When I lay down on the soft bed, the fatigue that had accumulated for a day rushed in at once.

“Am I really staying here….”

I sighed deeply and turned to my side. Beyond the huge barrel window, the blue sky and the scenery of the sea spread out. While I was looking along the trail, I suddenly found the edge of the cliff where I slitted my neck and jumped off.

I made a big fuss, ran away, and came back here on my own two feet without a care in the world. Simeon must have been dumbfounded, but he took me in anyway. I don’t know if he thinks I’ll be useful to his plans, or if he has something else up his sleeve, but I’ll be with him until he finds the ‘spirit that erases memories’.

I have about 8 months left. I will definitely find it before January next year. If all goes according to plan, I’ll be able to enjoy the rest of my life a little bit, even if I can’t go back to the way things were… with Simeon. No, I’ll be able to enjoy a normal life with Simeon… a normal life of talking to him and playing chess with him.

“If you’re going to forget it all anyway….”

If it’s a memory that will disappear without a trace, I think it’s okay to be greedy one last time before I die.

I woke up early in the morning. Crumpled paper lay about on the blanket. It was a trace of contemplating a plan to seal until the night before. I roughly collected notes, put them on the table, and came out of the shower.

I was shaking my hair with a towel when I heard a knock. It’s exactly eight o’clock when I look at my phone. Yesterday, she brought dinner just in time for 6 p.m., and it’s like a prison in terms of his regular life.

“Yes, yes, come on in.”

When I opened the door with a towel around my neck, I ran into an unexpected person.

“Good morning.”

It’s Simeon’s exclusive bodyguard. He is holding a wooden tray with both hands, which doesn’t match his clean suit. Even the English Breakfast and orange juice on the tray were my breakfast no matter how you look at it.

“Why are you giving this to….”

“He asked me to bring it to you and watch you eat it all.”

“What? Who?”

Who do you think it is. I guess it’s their boss. I belatedly realized it was a meaningless question and asked another question.

“Are you going to do this everyday?”

“I don’t know about that either.”

The bodyguard looked a little embarrassed, as if he’d never done this before, but he was innocent of any wrongdoing, merely moving on command, so he held the door open for me.

“Come in for now.”

When I removed the notepad from the table, the bodyguard silently set the breakfast table. clattering. Only the sound of the tableware crashing sounded quietly. Even when I saw the steaming sausages and omelets in an awkward atmosphere, I had no appetite. If I’m like this, how could the bodyguards be.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yes.”

My mouth was dry, so I took a sip of orange juice first. I don’t know what it tasted like.

“And did Simeon eat?”

“No. An important document has arrived from abroad and is now being checked.”

I dip my fork into the roasted tomato and stop dead in my tracks.

What. Why is he asking me to eat when he haven’t even eat yet? I want to fork out of frustration. Somehow, I don’t think this is the first time he’s skipped a meal. I put my fork down again and asked in a passing tone.

“Does he usually skip meals?”

“…But he still takes the nutrients he needs.”

“You mean like a meal replacement shake?”

The bodyguard nodded silently. It’s just amazing that the balanced and solid body can still be maintained. Even so, isn’t it better to eat properly than to substitute.

“I don’t know if it’ll hurt his body.”

There was a long silence. The bodyguard sighed quietly again. I know how much that bear of a man cares about Simeon. I came home in violation of orders to save Simeon. He’d come to my home against orders to rescue him before, so he couldn’t be nagged for being a subordinate this time.

It’s a good thing I’m not eating alone.

“Can you prepare one more serving of this?”

“Is it not enough?”

“No. I’m going to take it to him and eat it together with him.”

The eyes of the bodyguard, who had been agonizing for three seconds at the word ‘together’, suddenly grew. The bodyguard, who was always calm and surprised, stammered for some reason.

I asked with my eyes if he was in here, and the bodyguard nodded silently. Nervously, I paused to catch my breath and knocked on the door, but there was no answer for a long time. I knocked again, wondering if he had left, and then I heard a voice on the other side of the door.

“Come on in.”

I hurriedly handed the tray to the bodyguard and opened the office door. As soon as I entered, I saw Simeon sitting at his desk with his back against a huge barrel window. He always wears a suit when he works, but for some reason he’s wearing a white shirt today. In addition, the long neck and collarbone stood out thanks to a couple of unbuttoned shirts.

Simeon looked up from his papers and said, without looking at me.

“What’s going on? I would have said I wouldn’t eat.”

Is it just me, or does that sound like, ‘You came in here in defiance of my orders, and I won’t forgive you unless you have some sort of business to attend to,’ the voice is low and barbed. That’s why people around him can’t joke around telling him not to skip meals.

“A person who doesn’t even take care of his own food, what right do you have to watch if others eat properly?”

When I said sarcastically, his hand, which was handing over the documents, stopped. Simeon’s face, which then suddenly raised his head, was full of embarrassment.

“Shin Ha-jae, what are you doing here?”

Simeon, who belatedly checked the food in my hand, looked at me in disbelief. I nodded without disappointment.

“Of course I came to eat with you.”