I Heard You Still Love Her

The moonlight is like yarn, and the room is cool.

The temperature of the air conditioner is just right.

Yan Zhilan felt a little uncomfortable halfway through her sleep. She stretched out her hand to pull at her clothes. The collar was mostly torn off, revealing her smooth shoulders and **** collarbone. There seemed to be honey flowing on her slender legs. After such a big round of movements, She was still holding Xiao Ruoyan's coat in her arms and didn't loosen it.

Xiao Ruoyan, who had been silently watching her awake all the time, swallowed instinctively, and looked down at her chest subconsciously. This...when they were separated, they were both 18 years old. Why is she much plumper than before...well...?

Seeing his unchanged chest was silent for a while, Xiao Ruoyan carefully covered her with the quilt.

Xiaoyan was not honest in her sleep.

It used to be.

At that time, the heating in the dormitory was very hot in winter, but she had to find all kinds of excuses to burrow in Xiao Ruoyan's bed.

After all, there is still the boss and Lanlan in the dormitory. Xiao Ruoyan has a thin face and wants to refuse, but Yan Zhilan seems to be able to see through her heart. She turned to the boss and Lanlan and said: "It's really cold in winter, soles of feet. It's all cold, and the blood is blocked."

The boss patted the toner: "Let the second one cover you."

Lan Lan looked at the ipad: "You can just go to bed with her."

Xiao Ruoyan:...

At that time, the winter was long, Yan Zhilan would always shrink in her arms, and Xiao Ruoyan had always warmed her two feet carefully. Her noble hands, in addition to playing the guitar and composing music, used The most is to warm Xiaoyan's feet.

At that time, Xiao Yan would look at her tenderly, without blinking, soft light overflowing in her eyes.

It was gentle a second, but when she fell asleep, Xiao Ruoyan would always be sandwiched between her two legs, when the doll was riding and hugging.

…

Separate these years.

Every winter, Xiao Ruoyan couldn't help thinking about it.

Is her girl okay?

Are her feet cold again?

Will anyone be like her to warm her up?

As Xiao Ruoyan recalled, she was washing Yan Zhilan's clothes in the bathroom.

Xiaoyan's clothes are in plain and elegant colors. In this regard, their aesthetics are surprisingly consistent, and they like lighter colors such as white and off-white.

She carefully soaked her skirts and coats in water and scrubbed them a little bit.

When the clothes were washed and dried, the cold moonlight had already brought some morning glory, sprinkled on Xiaoyan's body, her long hair fluttered on the snow-white pillow, beautiful like a fairy under the moonlight. She finally fell asleep in less pain, her eyebrows eased, but her hands were still holding Xiao Ruoyan's shirt tightly, and the smell made her feel at ease.

Four o'clock in the morning.

Xiao Ruoyan received a call from Gao Yu.

Gao Yu has always been her "gossip boyfriend" next to her. He is male and his sexual orientation is also male.

The first time the two met was in a bar. Xiao Ruoyan occasionally went to the bar to earn some extra money. She was drinking at the bar when she was resting. Gao Yu came in in a coquettish dress and looked at each other. At that time, his **** reach rang. He watched Xiao Ruoyan sitting on a high chair alone, with loose hair, drinking quietly. Her temperament was very good, she was high and cold, she just drank alone. No one dared to step forward.

Over the years, Gao Yu has become Xiao Ruoyan's good friend by virtue of his stalking tongue.

Originally, Xiao Ruoyan didn't like his noisy character, but in some respects he was a bit like Lanlan, deja vu, and another one. Her age is set there. Even if she is far away from her parents, relatives and friends, there will be people where there is socialization. I want to be a matchmaker to introduce her to her.

What's more, Xiao Ruoyan's appearance conditions are eye-popping in the crowd, and she doesn't need to be introduced. The various peach blossoms around her make her tired.

After having Gao Yu, although people will ask her in private: "Why is your boyfriend such a mother? When you walk on the road, your **** is more twisted than you."

Xiao Ruoyan smiled faintly, noncommittal.

She only wanted to clean one ear.

Gao Yu has a boyfriend who was together when he was in college. Now he is abroad and the two are separated.

The two were also temporarily separated due to family reasons. Gao Yu smiled and showed Xiao Ruoyan every time: "We are far away, but our hearts are always together. As long as we survive the past few years and have financial conditions, After buying a house here, we will immediately go abroad to get married."

Xiao Ruoyan was a little lost after hearing it, is it really that easy?

after that.

Many late nights, Gao Yu was so drunk, crying at the door of her house shaking, Xiao Ruoyan frowned and dragged him into the house like a dog, threw it on the sofa, and let him digest it alone.

The thing about love is not clear.

There is happiness, there is bound to be pain.

Only the person concerned knows which one is more and which is less.

Xiao Ruoyan is not a patient person, her patience is all given to Xiaoyan, not kicking him out is not bad.

Even so, Gao Yu is still entangled with Xiao Ruoyan, always saying that she is a typical good person with a cold face and a warm heart.

Gao Yu can make trouble on weekdays. At critical moments, he is very reliable. In the middle of the night, his voice is a little low: "Comrade Ruoyan, I asked my honey to check it this time."

Xiao Ruoyan closed the soundproof glass door, and she stood in the night, listening quietly.

"I originally wanted to follow her to check her after she returned to China, but her family members are quite good, it seems that they have deliberately concealed it. Is it possible to know that you will check her in the future?"

With a hint of ridicule in Gao Yu's voice, Xiao Ruoyan turned around and looked at Yan Zhilan, who was asleep like a child on the bed, silent.

"Then I can't help it. It's rare that you beg me, and we can't drop the chain, don't you? My honey is a bit capable in foreign countries, and I found some things. Well, after she went abroad, her senior year was okay. She went to high school in California, high school. Life doesn't seem to be very happy."

Xiao Ruoyan's heart tightened.

They separated in the third year of high school.

Yan Zhilan's father was very powerful, and he quickly completed the formalities to take her abroad.

After the final separation, they only looked at each other from a distance, and when they passed by outside the teaching room, Xiao Ruoyan stared at her with a depressing sentence: "Graduating from college, I am waiting for you in the old place. "

…

In the dark.

Gao Yu's voice is exceptionally clear, "I have heard you say about your person before. She has a very gentle personality, but I don't know what happened when she went to high school there. She became taciturn and cold and hard to touch. , As you know, she was originally a transfer student, but she was abroad and she was not familiar with her place..."

After trying to figure out the wording, Gao Yu didn't conceal it, "She should have been bullied. I found out her admission records for the third year of high school."

Xiao Ruoyan's heart is cut like a knife.

They separated like that.

What happened to her Xiaoyan, she didn't know.

Gao Yu was cruel, "The soft tissues of his body have been contused."

A line of tears slid down his cheeks without warning, and Xiao Ruoyan felt cold all over.

"Ruoyan, are you okay?"

In fact, Gao Yu was also a little nervous when he got the information, but the person from his family said that since they asked to check it, she must tell her the result of the check.

Xiao Ruoyan wiped away his tears, with some nasal sounds: "Well, it's okay."

Gao Yu heard her voice a little distressed, "Later...she was admitted to the Manhattan Conservatory of Music. My dear said it was a miracle. He was curious to see her, saying that she must be a persevering man. people."

The original words were processed by Gao Yu.

The guy from his family choked up when he told him this information, "Honey, do you know? I can feel her desperate heart of fighting hard for that glimmer of hope, it's not easy, this girl It’s not easy, it’s too difficult..."

Gao Yu: "She should have not been bullied during the years of college, but the year she graduated from college—"

His voice paused, and Xiao Ruoyan's heart instantly hung up, and her body trembled slightly because of the tension.

After graduating from university, she waited for Yan Zhilan for a full year.

In one year, she went from the initial hopefulness, to anxiety, to grief, to unwillingness, to despair...

Although she had let go now, she still couldn't help but want to know.

Why?

Xiaoyan, why didn't you wait for her.

…

"She may have a physical problem and went to the hospital. I couldn't find anything else. Then I accidentally found a nurse I knew and said that she remembered her blood transfusion. What was shocking at the scene was all blood. She was deeply impressed. , Was sent by the family at night, saying that... she committed suicide."

—She committed suicide.

Xiao Ruoyan's blood seemed to be frozen, his whole body was cold, and his broken heart was crushed into powder.

Gao Yu sighed softly: "We infer that in the next year, all her information will be blank, maybe it was a year of self-cultivation at home."

Speaking of which.

The news that Gao Yu grasped was cut off with Yan Zhilan's return to China.

Yan Zhilan's father was stern, he didn't want people to find out anything, it was definitely impossible to find out.

Before hanging up the phone, Gao Yu said softly, rarely earnestly: "She should have had a hard time these years."

Before you know it.

Xiao Ruoyan burst into tears. She was turned into a cold-faced goddess by her classmates when she was in high school. Not to mention crying, even her smile was scarce.

But now.

She squatted on the ground alone, tears streaming down her face, and she had to cover her mouth with her hands.

The night is colder

Can't bear the cold in my heart.

Every word of Gao Yu was like a knife, severely divided in her heart.

Battered and bloody.

…

I cried until I couldn't open my eyes.

Xiao Ruoyan dragged her paralyzed legs and walked in. She sat down beside Xiaoyan's bed and looked at her cheek without blinking.

Yan Zhilan really lost a lot of weight. She found out when she danced together. The thin waist seemed to be broken with force.

After all, Xiao Ruoyan's hand fell on her cheek, rubbing it lightly, again and again, with the smell of tears.

finally.

The hand hesitated to stay on the string of red bean bracelets.

When the two met again, Yan Zhilan took it with her. Such a brilliant red was not her favorite color.

Xiao Ruoyan wondered at that time, thinking that maybe her boyfriend gave it to her. At this moment, her eyes were staring at the string of bracelets. The bracelets were red as if they were dripping blood. Yan Zhilan was already white. Against the background of the bracelets, the skin is like snow.

Stared for a moment.

Little by little, Xiao Ruoyan's hand dropped the bracelet from her wrist.

—I've heard you talk about your person before. She has a very gentle personality, but I don't know what happened when she went to high school there. She became taciturn and cold and hard to touch.

-The scary thing at the scene was blood. She was deeply impressed. It was sent by her family at night, saying that it was... She committed suicide.

—She should have had a hard time these years.

…

Gao Yu's words were in his ears, Xiao Ruoyan's guesses rolled over, and finally, after the bracelets fell off, Yan Zhilan's white and slender wrists were exposed.

And on that wrist, a faint but deep pink scar was in sight.

I don't know how much effort Yan Zhilan used back then. Even though the wound has recovered from stuttering, the traces left behind are very deep, like a light pink thread running through the wrist.

that moment.

That moment.

Xiao Ruoyan closed her eyes, no words could describe the pain in her heart.

Hot tears, perhaps just like the hot blood of Xiaoyan back then, flowed from the body.

Xiao Ruoyan didn't know what kind of despair Xiaoyan had experienced that made her, a kind-hearted person who loves life and life, choose such a dead end.