I Slept with the Villain Holding My Hand

What should I do if a person who was just fine a moment ago was now acting like he’s about to cry in front of my eyes?

I decided to hold his hand and quietly wait for him to continue talking.

Because I wasn’t such a despicable person to leave a person without listening to him.

Reukis spoke a little longer, and Merria waited to see if her kind reaction would help him.

“I deserved to be unhappy, so…”

“…”

“I couldn’t dare to ask for anything more.”

Deep inside of Reukis, which had been firmly buried, was revealed in a very subtle way.

What kind of life was it to live in unhappiness?

How on earth did a person who calmly accepts their own misfortunes survive?

My lips shut in bitterness.

So I asked on impulse.

“What if I want you to make a wish?”

“What?”

Merria tightened her grip on his hand.

She said, as she naturally interlocked their fingers, staring straight at him, not avoiding his sunken, pure gold eyes.

“I want you to wish, to expect, and feel disappointed and live your life doing those things.”

“Thank you for saying that, but I’m really fine.”

Reukis, who answered slowly as if choosing his words carefully, bowed his head because he wasn’t confident of facing Merria.

Merria, looking up at his black hair frowning.

He was always like this.

Even Merria, who hadn’t even talked to Reukis a few times, knew quickly.

He was obviously sad and lonely.

But he himself didn’t want to get out of his loneliness.

As if he had surrendered himself to the thick darkness, he seemed to quietly enjoy the misery.

“Who…”

Merria shook her hand and put his hand down roughly.

She said, rubbing her neck roughly in frustration.

“Reukis. There’s no such thing as a person in the world who couldn’t make a wish. Such qualifications do not exist in the first place.”

“But…”

“If you really think that you don’t deserve it, do this.”

Merria roughly picked up a flower and laid it down on the fountain.

Then, with her hands clasped tightly, she spoke in a clear voice so that Reukis could hear.

“Well, my wish was for Reukis to make a wish right now.”

Then she turned around and put a yellow flower in the empty hand of Reukis.

As Reukis touched the unfamiliar texture of the flower petals, Merria spoke in a light voice.

“From the smallest to the grandest thing, wish for anything. Just one thing. It’s my wish, but you could do this between lovers.”

Reukis pondered and nodded his head slightly, as if understanding something.

I took the box from Reukis, who was still hesitant with this unfamiliarity, and I gently pushed his back.

He walked slowly and stood in front of the fountain.

He followed Merria, he floated petals, and gently closed his eyes.

A prayer that may reach someone who has stopped wishing at some point.

(**Reukis POV**)

I blamed myself for my parents death and thought that I should no longer be happy.

So I locked myself up in the large mansion and lived only by training and abused my body.

So many years have passed, still staying miserable like that day.

I became an adult, but eventually didn’t take a step forward from my childhood.

I always thought that I would live in the dark like that.

But it was different today.

Merria was by my side, who was always desolate.

Walking down the street, talking like everyone else. I felt like I spent the day like a normal person.

I was long entangled in something strange and familiar guilt in my mind, and was engulfed in confusion.

‘Mother, father. May I dare to miss you both.’

But the unfamiliar feeling was quickly engulfed by deeper guilt and vanished.

Reukis couldn’t raise his head in front of the fountain for a moment and calmed his heart down from his desperate self.

✦ ✦ ✦

After leaving the fountain behind and arriving at the place where the carriage was parked on time for the appointment, I saw Lexie smiling.

Lexie repeatedly opened and closed the envelope she was holding in her arms to make sure if she succeeded in buying the book she wanted.

Then, seeing Merria walking from afar, she waved her hand over her head.

“Miss! Here it is! Here…”

As Merria got closer, Lexie’s movements and voice began to fall.

It was because she found Reukis following Merria like a shadow.

Lexie, who had stopped waving her hands, quickly came to her senses and waited for Merria in a modest manner.

Looking at Lexie, who was frozen in the spot, I was bothered by Reukis who was following me a step behind.

Lexie, who was as stiff as an apprentice knight, was worried whether Reukis would feel sullen again.

Eventually, when Merria came a couple of steps away from her wagon, she stretched her arm toward his hand.

To be exact, she was asking for the dessert box that was stolen from the fountain earlier.

Recognizing her intentions, Reukis pulled his hand back and said.

“I’ll carry it to the carriage.”

“If I go to the carriage with you, my maid’s round eyes would pop out.”

When I pointed to the carriage with a wink of eye, I saw Lexie waiting more carefully.

Seeing this, Reukis nodded calmly.

I don’t know if he understood, but there was no response, so I decided to let him go.

Merria, who was handed the box in Reukis’ hand, held out the box in her left hand to him.

He tilted his head with a face full of questions and stood still without accepting the box.

I even pushed him earlier, so why was it a face that he couldn’t even think of a gift?

Merria was rather frustrated.

“It’s yours.”

“…well, you mean?”

Reukis said while blinking his eyes and pointing his finger at his chest.

The response was completely unexpected.

Still, there was an expectation that could not be hidden from the corners of the slightly teary eyes.

As I watched Reukis react greatly to even the smallest things, it reminded me of a child who saw Santa for the first time.

“Yes. It’s for Reukis. I hope you enjoy the green grape tart. It’s a reward for granting my wish.”

The dessert gift ended only after pushing the box in his arms.

Reukis still hugged the box tightly with a puzzled expression.

Reukis remained still in that position until Merria greeted him gently and got on the carriage.

He didn’t realize she was gone until he heard the horse rolling its hooves from her carriage a little further away.

One in the carriage that Merria was riding in, and one box he held dearly in his hand.

Reukis’ face, which had been looking at alternately in slow motion, slightly distorted.

‘Merria.’

Reukis, who had no way of knowing why he felt so sad, just kept repeating the name of Merria, who had left.

✦ ✦ ✦

Reukis looked at the stationery in front of him with eyes as intense as an eagle hunting for prey.

After a few minutes, he held the pen and didn’t write a single letter, just resting his chin on it, touching his head. He repeated the same thing.

After reading the example given by Milo earlier, Reukis, who pursed his lips, finally brought the nib of his pen to the paper.

[To my dear flower 

At the time when the moon was covered by clouds, I missed your face so much, so I grabbed a pen.

I’m always looking forward to the day when I would meet you again, thinking about the regretful meeting last time.

If you don’t mind, I’ll sing a romantic song with you by the lake this weekend.-]

‘sigh…’

As I wrote the letter, I felt the embarrassment that came up, and the pen broke helplessly.

Reukis threw the pen that broke in half aside and took out a new one.

The tombs of pens, already piled up like corpses, grew in size as time passed.

Reukis, who eventually gave up the flashy letter, calmly wrote the letter in the end.

[Dear Merria,

It hasn’t been a few days since our last meeting, but I couldn’t resist writing this letter.

There’s a place I used to go with my mother when I was young.

It reminded me of how delicious the desserts that could only be tasted there were so delicious.

So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to treat you in return for the gift last time.

If you reply, I’ll go pick you up.

-Reukis Frederick.]

His plain letter was written in beautiful handwriting, but it was obvious that he was somewhat nervous.

He carefully stamps the seal and hands the letter to Harriet.

“I want you to send the fastest messenger to Rackester.”

“Yes, my lord.”

As Harriet left the room, a soft silence came to the office.

Reukis looked out of the window from time to time, waiting for an answer to come as soon as possible.

✦ ✦ ✦

Merria got off her carriage and patted the hem of her dress.

After she adjusted her big brim hat, she entered an antique-looking restaurant.

Two days ago I received a letter from Reukis asking me to meet him.

I thought that I should make an excuse for the reply, but the second line of his letter caught my attention.

The dessert shop was the favorite of the royal family.

There’s only one place where it could be.

It was only ‘Hart.’

Its official name was ‘Diner Hart’, it was a very historic luxury restaurant.

Rumor has it that there was a special recipe that Daphne, the former princess, enjoyed eating in that place, that has been in charge of the imperial family for generations.

As soon as I read the letter, I was sure he was referring to the menu.

It was literally a special dessert that could only be tasted there, only when the late Duchess visited with his son, Reukis.

In the end, she agreed, and Merria asked him to meet her in front of Hart, as a reply.

After the meal, Merria, who swallowed the saliva in her mouth in anticipation of dessert, moved gracefully.

“I’m the Grand Duke’s guest.”, Merria said.

An employee standing at the entrance recognized Merria’s red eyes, which were instructed in advance, and approached.

Merria nodded and the staff guided me in a polite manner.

As it was a place with strict security, each seat had high walls, so even Merria was able to meet Reukis without paying attention to other people’s eyes.

As I turned around the corner and went inside, I saw Reukis who came first.

“Merria.”

“Did you wait long?”

He walked over to her shaking his head.

The staff returned to her seat without guiding Merria into the room.

As Meria looked around, bewildered by the disappearance of the attendant to attend to her hat and her coat, Reukis held out his empty hand.

“Give it to me.”

As Reukis who attended to her with his own hands, Merria stopped from taking off her hat.

Reukis smiled softly and spoke as he looked at her face with a look full of ‘why?.‘

“Aren’t we a couple?”

“Well?”

Merria tilted her head for the very poor reason.

Reukis smiles at her without removing his outstretched hand.

“Actually, I just wanted to do it.”

It was a gesture that didn’t look awkward enough to remind me of a handsome butler.

Thinking uselessly about who would dare to make the Grand Duke wait, Merria handed him her hat.

Reukis took the hat well and hung it on the stand.

Then he came back and escorted her to the chair.

The way he pushed the chair in was as natural as flowing water.

‘I’m sure you don’t have immunity to women.’

You’re avoiding my eyes just being a little closer to your face.

The occasional behavior kept reminding me that he was a character in the novel.

Merria, who had a mysterious expression on her face, smiled casually before Reukis’s gaze returned.