I Tried To Escape Through Death

‘How long are you going to keep playing this stupid couple game?’ 

Unable to get those words out, my mouth twitched. 

It was I who started this act, pretending to have amnesia, so saying those words would be tantamount to declaring that I lost. 

Calix, who made eye contact with me, looked at me and smirked, before taking my hand that had been holding onto him and placing a kiss on the back of it. 

“Of course, I have something I want to say.”

“Really?”

Those words sent a chill down my spine. 

‘What. I guess I’ll have to wait and see…’

Calix leaned back on the bed, still holding onto my hand, and opened his mouth.

“I love you.” 

“What?” 

I flinched at the unexpected words. For a moment, I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach, all too aware of the blood rushing through my body because of those three words. Reflexively, I jerked my hand away from his grasp. 

“Wasn’t that what you wanted to hear? That I love you?” 

“I like you”, Calix said nonchalantly, seeing the panic on my face, before muttering to himself, “This is ridiculous”. 

“…Don’t fool around.” 

I swallowed hard at the myriad of words that tried to escape my mouth, managing to say only those words. Calix leaned closer to me. The light from the weak bedside lamp cast a shadow over Calix’s face. I jerked back, pulling away from him. 

“Do my words sound like a joke to you?” 

“…”

“I’m being serious.” 

Calix’s blue eyes shone coldly. 

I raised my hand and pushed his face away, looking in another direction. 

“What I’m saying is,” 

“…” 

I gulped and slowly opened my mouth. 

“…I heard what you said in the carriage earlier in the day.” 

“…”

I felt Calix pause, but I didn’t look up. 

“You said you were taking me in as a wizard.” 

You told me that you were taking me in as your duchess. Did you lie to me? 

Instead of saying such a long-winded thing, I decided to ask him something else. We already knew each other anyways, there was no need for any more lies.

“What are you planning on doing?” 

“…”

 “You know that the emperor is looking for me. You’ve guessed it already. Do you really think that it will be okay for you to call me ‘Rena’ and take me to your estate?” 

Calix said nothing in reply, his eyes fixed on me. The way he looked at me… it was as though he resented me for finally saying those words, or as if he’d been waiting for this moment. 

I raised my voice and whispered quickly. 

“Anyone close to you could probably figure out my true identity with just a moment’s thought.”

To be honest, I also thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be okay?’. It had already been years since the incident, and I’d been living quietly since, so the emperor shouldn’t be interested in me anymore. I thought that if I lived quietly in the Hertrio estate with Calix, the emperor would choose to leave me alone. 

If it hadn’t been for the incident earlier, with the wizard spying on us, I might have continued to think so.

But Calix was being watched. It seemed that the emperor firmly believed that one day, he would be reunited with me. 

‘I need to hurry up and remember the original novel.’ 

Even if it was difficult, I have to find out information about the emperor. Even if I have to meet the heroine of this world in order to do so. 

What the emperor wants. What the future holds for Calix. Whether he is in danger by being with me, who carried the blood of a traitor.  

It was one of those moments when my imagination ran wild. 

It was then that Calix, who had been silent this entire time, spoke up. 

“Then what should we do?”

He took my hand, his quiet voice heated. 

“Should I abandon the duchy and hide in the mountains with you? That way, the emperor wouldn’t be able to find us, right?” 

“I’m not saying that…” 

“Or should I go visit the Imperial Palace and meet with the emperor? I could k!ll him if I had to. If that will make you feel comfortable.” 

His voice was so clear as he spoke of k!ll!ng the emperor that I had to doubt my ears. 

“Do you mean it?”

“Of course I mean it.” 

Calix gripped my hand firmly. 

“Under no circumstances will I be apart from you.” 

“…”

“If you’re in trouble, we’ll be in trouble together, and if you get hurt, you’ll get hurt next to me.” 

The way he said it sounded like he wasn’t just talking to me, but also like he was making a promise to himself. Calix rested his cheek against my palm, turning his head slightly to kiss it. 

“And, you really don’t have to worry about anything.” 

“…”

“I’ll take care of everything.” 

His assurance that he had it all figured out, as if he were stating an obvious truth, made me feel a little uneasy. 

***

We arrived in Hertrio just as I was getting tired of the train ride. 

The overnight rain had stopped, and by morning, the dew on the grass had disappeared. I woke up on the train as it rumbled to a stop at Hertrio station. 

“Did you sleep well?” 

“…Mhm.”

The fact that we had finally arrived at the Duchy of Hertrio made me both excited and anxious. Calix took my hand and helped me off the train. 

‘You said it was a countryside territory, but there is a bustling train station.’ 

That was my first impression of Hertrio when I arrived. 

Well, it’s the Duchy of Hertrio after all, it wouldn’t make sense if there wasn’t a train station. 

The train smoke had already formed a long, grey tail and was disappearing into the distance. I stared at it before turning my gaze toward the exit of the station. 

“How long does it take to get to the ducal residence from here?”

“It won’t take long. It’ll only take a short ride in a carriage.” 

Calix answered my question with a faint smile. 

Strangely, he seemed a bit nervous ever since the train arrived in Hertrio. It wasn’t like it was his first time here, unlike me, so why was he reacting like that? 

He smiled vaguely and slowly stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, perhaps because he felt me staring at him questionably. The light gesture seemed to have raised my internal temperature, and I led his hand away, pretending not to have noticed. 

As I walked out to the front of the station, I saw the Duke’s knights waiting to greet me. 

“Welcome back, Your Grace!”

“Welcome back, Your Grace!” 

Calix waved away the knights, who bowed and greeted him loud enough that there was an echo in the train station. 

“Everything is fine, correct?” 

“Yes. I have taken care of everything you ordered.” 

“Yes. Oh, and this is…” 

Calix hesitated as he introduced me to the knights. I stepped out in front of them, who had been looking at me with curious eyes, and bowed my head first. 

“I am the new wizard. I’m looking forward to working with you all.” 

Name. What name do I give?

I thought for a short moment and decided on the most simple answer. 

“…My name is Rena.” 

This way, if I was ever asked about my real name, I’d at least be able to skip thinking of something for now. If anyone asked, I was going to say it was a nickname, but for another name, not Regina. 

My greeting was met with friendly smiles from the knights. 

“Miss Rena! We look forward to your kind cooperation.” 

I felt Calix squeeze the hand he was holding onto, but I ignored it. 

“I look forward to your kind cooperation, as well.” 

At this point, I let go of Calix’s hand, which I had been holding onto since the train ride. I realized that people’s eyes were on our hands. 

This is why it was obvious from the first day what the rumours would be like. I wonder how long it will be before the rumour of the new wizards and the duke’s relationship spreads throughout the estate. 

I could feel everyone’s curious glances, wondering who the h£ll I was. Even knowing what everyone was thinking, Calix did not say anything, a sense of awkwardness in the air could be felt due to his lack of action. 

Breaking that awkward silence, the person at the front stepped forward. He had a light tone that seemed to lighten the atmosphere. 

“I have prepared a carriage for the both of you.” 

There were two carriages. Calix answered him, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. 

“Oh, I’ll be taking the same carriage as Rena.” 

“…The same carriage, Your Grace?”

The atmosphere became awkward again, and the knight’s efforts were thrown into the trash. 

I turned my head away, staring wearily at the one remaining carriage that had been rendered useless in an instant. Before I knew it, Calix was standing in front of our carriage, holding out his hand to me and acting as my escort. 

Eventually, within a minute of me letting go of his hand, I had taken his hand again.

‘Correction. It wouldn’t take a day; half a day would be enough for the rumour to spread.’  

Calix, who glanced at the knights as I climbed up the carriage steps, chuckled lightly. 

“The remaining carriage is for you gentlemen to ride.” 

“No! How dare we…” 

The door of the carriage slammed shut without another word, ignoring the refusals of the knights. 

It was only after the two of us were left alone that I was able to unclench my tense hands and let out a heavy breath. I must have been nervous subconsciously when I arrived at Hertrio and faced the ducal knights who had come to greet me, wondering whether any of them recognized me. 

However, I soon ran into a new problem—being in an enclosed space with Calix 

He was still looking out the window with a firm face. Though, he did glance over at me from time to time. 

Soon the carriage set off. As I rested my arm on the carriage window and looked out, a gentle breeze blew through, tousling my hair. 

‘What should I do?’ 

I didn’t think for long. I soon made up my mind and turned to face Calix. 

“Tell me. What’s wrong?” 

“…What?”

“You look like you’re uncomfortable.” 

“Does it seem like that?” 

Realizing that his flirting wasn’t working, Calix turned his attention back to the window with a shy face. I did the same, watching as the wind fluttered over his sculpted face, mesmerized. 

It was not long before Calix turned to me again. 

But what he said was completely unexpected. 

“How’s Hertrio?”

He sounded a bit anxious and quite serious. I stuttered, flustered by the suddenness of his words. 

“Hertrio…? Well, it’s fine.” 

“Is it fine?” 

“Well, actually, it’s only been five minutes since I arrived, so I have nothing to say.” 

“Haha, is that so?”

Calix smiled softly, placing his hand on my leg. 

“Actually, I wanted your first impression of Hertrio to be good.” 

Calix’s low voice rang throughout the carriage. 

“Why?”

“You’re going to be living the rest of your life here, so you shouldn’t have a bad first impression.” 

“…”

I was speechless for a moment. He looked up and our gazes met. Calix’s blue eyes seemed to pierce through me. 

‘You were so nervous about this?’

I pursed my lips, trying to think of something to say, and finally turned my head towards the window and blurted out my reply. 

“…It’s a large territory so I’ll never become bored.” 

“…”

I couldn’t see Calix’s expression, but I could tell he was very pleased. 

I gave him the answer he wanted. 

[TL/N]: helloo!! sorry for the delay in updates, there were personal circumstances so i had to take a break, but we are back on track now! i hope you enjoy this update ^3^