“Ares,” I called him. My eyes closed tightly from the headache.

“Say it,” he answered in a clearly tense voice.

“I can’t pretend I haven’t heard what I’ve already heard.”

“Ah…”

I don’t know what kind of expression he made. I couldn’t afford to make eye contact with him. When I looked into his eyes, I felt like I was about to burst into tears.

Did you also suffer like me? Was it hard for you to hide your feelings from me? Like how I tried to keep my eyes off you and deliberately pretended not to know you?

We were so pitiful.

Besides, my feelings were planted by the ‘author’. But, the feeling that Ares had for me was real love, not the ‘author’ setting.

When I realized that, it felt like there were stacks of needles inside me, stabbing me with every breath I took. My chest tightened further.

How could my fake love be compared to his true love! I didn’t choose to love him out of my own free will! It just happened by itself!

Ares could have abandoned the feelings he had for me, but he did not do so. He freely decided what he had in his heart and went down a difficult path on his own.

‘Do you think his feelings weigh the same as mine?’ 

Well, I could never have thought of that.

No matter how much I thought about it, I did not have the right to reject his confession so bluntly. How could I tell him that I did not need his love, and for him to take it back. Considering what he had gone through, I shouldn’t reject him so easily. 

I mustered up the courage to raise my head, and in the most calm expression possible, I looked at Ares and said, “Let me think about it for a bit. It won’t take long. Give me some time. I will make up my mind soon and tell you.”

I had to pretend to be serious about his confession. That was my conclusion.

‘If I don’t reject him, can’t I just accept his love?’

I thought about it, but I could never accept the confession. I wasn’t sure if Ares could survive the novel’s setting in which he was supposed to love Leah, also because I was also going to die soon.

I could not guarantee nothing would happen to him until I could finally meet the author and find out what she had hidden from me, and whether she had lied to me.

Ares responded with a trembling voice to my words, “…Thank you for saying that. Bianca.” He walked quietly in front of me. And on the table where I was sitting, he placed a small box.

“This…?”

He forced a smile. “I asked Mimas what kind of goods you donated to them. They said it was a pair of earrings and a headdress.”

I just stared at the box stiffly.

“Therefore… It’s not the same as yours, but I’ve chosen something that suits you. I ordered it and it was finished today, so I came here to give it to you.”

Ares was a thoughtful man. I never even thought he had this side to him. Come to think of it, I remembered that when Leah came to my house, she said that she had visited the kitchen and met Mimas.

At that time, he must have heard about my earrings and accessories. He came to see me when he went downtown to take this jewellry. And this was how he saved my life.

However, I did not give any confirmation to his confession, so I could not take it lightly. “Ares. I can’t take it.” I handed the box back to him. 

However, Ares shook his head and smiled. “It’s not mine. Even if you can’t… Please just accept it.” He took a few steps back, fearing that I might refuse further. “You better go home before it gets dark.”

“…Yes.”

Contrary to my reply, I sat still and did not move. My limbs were completely exhausted, and it took me a while to get my energy back before I could get up.

“You better go first, Ares.”

‘I hope you don’t see me being weak.’

The person you fall in love with would have always been a proud and confident figure as a flower of high society.

Ares hesitated for a long time, unable to respond quickly, but when I turned my gaze away from him and did not move, he finally backed away. “…I’ll go first. Bianca.”

“Go in carefully.” I barely managed to reply. 

Then, after a while, the sound of footsteps going down the stairs was heard slowly. I raised my head and took a deep breath. Still, the feeling of tightness in my chest did not go away.

As I sat in the tea room, I chuckled.

What Ares had been doing unexpectedly up until now was because of his true feelings. Because of it, whenever I associated him with Leah, he reacted sensitively. Because he loved me, he left Leah behind and chased me out of Metis’s salon. Since he was always watching me, he knew I was avoiding him on purpose. So he couldn’t come to me.

A guilt rose in my chest.

I didn’t even notice his gaze and he annoyed me. I regretted so much that I didn’t even think of confessing because I want to protect my pride. I had wasted my time stupidly for years.

It was so funny that we kept each other in our hearts and looked at each other like fools.

I staggered and stood up. Even if I waited here anyway, it was not likely that the ‘author’ would appear.

I strode weakly outside.

There were few places in the downtown area that lend a private carriage, but it was already night, so I had to use a public carriage.

It was already getting dark and the streetlights were on. The recent incident seemed to have been taken care of. Now, only a few security guards remained, checking to see if anyone was injured.

I mechanically headed to the public carriage stop. However, there was not a single carriage waiting.

“Ha…” I let out a sigh.

‘Is today the day the ‘pillars’ of the novel appeared? Why is everything a mess today?’

“Bianca.” Ares didn’t go back right away, he had been waiting for me to come out.

“I’ll take you back.”

I slowly turned around and looked at Ares. It was already quite dark, so I couldn’t see his face clearly. I didn’t even have the energy to control my face. Maybe my face was expressionless now.

He continued to say what he wanted to say, even though I didn’t answer. “I recently registered my personal carriage. Come to my carriage.”

“Ares…”

“Can’t you just take it as a favor? You can’t even imagine how nervous I’m, because I accidentally revealed my heart to you!”

“……”

I glanced at him. Unlike me, who couldn’t show a single ounce of courage in front of him, Ares was very brave. Even though he was so afraid that I would avoid him again, he finally reached out to me.

Ah, what should I do? I didn’t want to give him hope, but I didn’t want to give him a bleak disappointment either. And to be honest, I wanted to hold his outstretched hand. Because I love him too.

Ares and I stood facing each other and confronted each other for a while. An awkward silence fell heavily between the two of us. 

As expected, Ares was the first to break the heavy silence. “Bianca. If you’re not comfortable, I’ll just make sure you get on the public carriage and get back home safely.”

I smiled a little. I could feel his overflowing concern for me.

How could I be harsh to Ares? No one knew how difficult it is to have such courage, no one but me, who had a crush on him too.

“Then please take me in your carriage.”

It was dark so it was hard to see how Ares’ expression changed in response to my answer. But now this darkness was very fortunate for me. My expression won’t be revealed too.

I feel so happy, disappointed, and sad at the same time. 

“Please wait here for a moment. I will bring the carriage soon.”

I nodded at his words. He hurriedly went to pick up the carriage. 

How should I deal with Ares in the future? Before I met the ‘author’ I didn’t know when I could meet him, I didn’t know how I should act in front of him. 

After calming down a little, my weak legs began to tremble. It looked like I was going to fall down at any moment. 

“Bianca.” 

I heard Ares’ voice in the darkness, along with the sound of a carriage running. 

I forced my body to move and approached the carriage. 

Ares got up and reached out to me. “Take my hand.”

Normally, I would have thought this was just manners and held his hand with a bit of excitement, but now that I knew his sincerity, I was careful to accept even that. 

“Bianca.” Ares patiently called me once more.

I gazed at his eyes and finally placed my hand lightly on his.

He is a wise person who can distinguish between politeness and sincerity, so even if I accept his hand, he will not misunderstand my intentions. I decided to trust Ares. 

As we sat down next to each other, the carriage soon ran down the street towards my house. The sound of a carriage echoing through the street had somewhat erased the awkward silence that lingered between us.

Because of the fast-moving carriage, a strong wind blew. My body, which had begun to tremble, seemed to rise to fever. My body became ill because I was shocked. I had gotten sick the same way in the past.

But I didn’t want to pretend to be weak in front of Ares. I wanted everyone to think that I was a strong woman.

Even in front of Ares, my wish did not change.

‘Just let Leah Saturnos be the weak and cute one, not me.’ 

The main character in the original novel that the ‘author’ wrote is that Leah, who was not able to properly adapt to high society, was comforted by Ares and thus love sprouted. What a perfect heroine, she had the innocent look men want, even to the point of evoking a protective instinct!

But it was me, not the perfect Leah Saturnos, that Ares loved.

He said that he had loved me since the first time he saw me, so that was definitely before the author’s novel started. 

The novel begins when Ares and Leah accidentally kiss. Even after the novel started and he met Leah, his feelings didn’t change at all?

…I could always ask him if I’m curious.

“Ares.”

“Yes.” He answered as he drove the carriage, looking ahead. 

“Have you always loved me?”

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