If I Don’t Get Married I’ll Die

TW: Mentions of su!c!de, mental illness, psychological manipulation

Yes, I died.

All due to the schemes of my half-brother Andrea and his mother, Queen Kavala, who were aiming for the throne.

Under Arental Imperial Law, the emperor legally has the right to have multiple wives. The rank of his wives becomes the succession order of their children.

Originally. Andrea was the child of the imperial queen, but as he was the only child of the emperor, he was slated to become the next emperor.

If only I hadn’t belatedly been born to a childless empress due to her frequent miscarriages.

‘When mother gave birth to me, Andrea’s order of succession was pushed down.’

To Andrea, I was the only person standing in his way of winning the throne.

As a 7-year-old child, I didn’t know that.

“Don’t be sad, Chloe. This older brother will protect you now.”

The day my mother was found hanging from the dazzling chandelier in her bedroom, the imperial palace became a terrible mess.

The courtiers of the empress’ palace were arrested and interrogated, and all the faces I knew dispersed and disappeared. The atmosphere in the palace was grim.

In the rapidly changing situation, the adults seemed to have forgotten my existence.

Andrea came running to me. Back then he was just 18 years old.

“Everything will be fine. Chloe, from now on, don’t trust anyone else and just trust in this brother. That’s all you have to do.”

It was a comforting warmth.

The hand that patted me who was fraught in terror.

As a child, I had no choice but to cling to the warmth of my flesh and blood.

Andrea reassured me with sweet words and consolation.

“You don’t have to know anything. You’re still too young to know what the adults are doing, Chloe.”

Under the care of Andrea, with Queen Kavala supporting him, peaceful times passed by.

Meanwhile, strange rumors began to spread in public.

The empress suffered from mental illness and hung herself.

And Princess Chloe is also going crazy just like her mother.

…………rumors.

The palace doctor claimed that my mother had suffered from insanity. And that it runs in the family.

That was the first I’ve heard of it but all my arguments were silenced with the words ‘You don’t know because you’re young.’

“Chloe, sometimes I’m afraid you’ll lose your mind too. But brother will protect you no matter what. You’re my one and only sister. You only have to remember that one thing.”

Andrea soothed my worries and concerns. He was reliable.

I didn’t hate it when Andrea came to see me every once in a while.

He stayed close by.

– “Haven’t you been stuck in your room for too long? Take a walk by yourself.”

– “It’s because I’m worried about you. Don’t go for a walk at night. It’ll look weird if you go around like that.”

– “Who told you not to go for a walk? I’m telling you to do it alone. Don’t you understand what this brother meant?”

But strangely enough, whenever he came and went, fear overwhelmed me.

‘Why am I doing this? Am I really going crazy like my mother?’

‘What would I do without Andrea?’

At that time, I couldn’t do anything.

– “Don’t worry. I’ll always be by your side. If not me, who else? The only person you can trust is me.”

I did my best not to worry Andrea. My older brother was the only one I had.

– “Like the prince said, it would be good to take a walk while basking in the sun during the day.”

The courtier’s advice seemed to oddly match Andrea’s, but I didn’t dare take offense from it.

– “It’s because we’re all worried about you.”

Yes, that’s right.

However, regardless of whether or not I followed the courtier’s words, my actions always ended up being wrong.

– “The prince was worried that you were neglecting your daily tasks and were taking too many walks. Long walks can be too much.”

It was always like this.

I became increasingly confused, and without Andrea, I was unable to make judgments on my own.

– “Chloe, you weren’t like this before. Why are these so wrong? Are you still struggling?”

– “It’s not hard? No, I think you’re having a hard time right now. It’s pitiful.”

Do I seem like I’m struggling? Was it hard? Yes, I am having a hard time.

– “I worry about you. Don’t tell me, are you irritated with me? That’s not irritated? See, you’re still arguing with me? Aren’t you annoyed with me?”

Did I unwittingly get annoyed? Why am I like this?

– “You seem to be too sensitive and fickle these days. Just like Her Majesty the Empress.”

– “You’re frustrated.”

At one point, I was told that every word I uttered was due to my irritation and sensitivity, and I became a person who gets angry easily even though I have never been angry.

– “My poor little sister… she finally lost her mind over the loss of Her Majesty the Empress.”

I then became a crazy princess.

Andrea and the people in the imperial palace said I was crazy, so I must have been crazy, I believed it.

It was all my fault. I promised and promised again that I would do well.

Meanwhile, the question of my marriage became a big issue between Andrea and me.

– “Chloe, why do you hate this marriage? Do you think that this brother introduced you to a bad marriage? If you’re being selfish like this, we can no longer be the friendly siblings that we used to be.”

– “Do you think I’m doing this for me? As a member of the imperial family, I’m asking you to help the imperial family. Shouldn’t you also do your part?”

Andrea rushed my arranged marriage.

It was so sudden for me, who was not ready for marriage at all.

However, it seemed that our relationship would end if Andrea’s demands were not met.

So I accepted the marriage.

It was the beginning of a nightmare.

“How dare you look at me, your husband, with such disrespectful eyes! Are you looking down on me because you’re a princess?”

“I never did. I never looked down on you.”

“So now you’re saying I’m wrong? What a crazy woman who’s worse than a beast!”

“I’m sorry. I was wrong…!”

Viscount Perseus, whom Andrea had introduced to me, was a wealthy merchant who had just bought a title and entered the ranks of nobility.

He suffered from a terrible complex that stemmed from his origins.

Viscount Perseus relieved his anger by belittling and abusing me.

Rumors had already circulated that I had completely lost my mind, so no one believed that I could think normally.

I was abused by my husband in every way.

Every day was like hell.

Then one day, Viscount Perseus, who had been out, came to me in a fit of rage while drunk.

“You must have whispered malicious words to your brother! Why won’t he make me a count?”

I’ve been as**ulted countless times, but that day was different from any other day.

“S-Spare me…”

Viscount Perseus continued to mercilessly trample on me as I breathlessly pleaded.

I don’t know how I got away from him. When I came to my senses, I had barely escaped from Viscount Perseus and was heading towards Andrea.

However, Andrea, whom I tried to reach with all my might, only showed annoyance to me who was covered in wounds.

“Ah, you can’t even take care of matters between you as a couple? Must I take care of those things too? Don’t you know how to do anything yourself?”

“Brother…..”

“Don’t be a nuisance. Why should I be responsible for you? You and I are no different. No, you’re the worst obstacle in my life.”

I was a stranger and an obstacle to Andrea, who I thought was the only person I could trust.

“Why are you like this, brother? Why am I a stranger….I’m sorry, brother. I was wrong.”

“Do you know what you did wrong?”

“What did I do wrong…? Tell me. Tell me and I’ll fix it all.”

“Ha, what’s the point in saying it? Even if you’re born again. You won’t change.

Then he looked at my bloodstained body and said,

“Aren’t you going to die if you go back anyway? Yeah, if you’re going to die anyway, hurry up and die. Hmm? Once you die, everyone will be happy.”

“B-Brother…”

“Brother will ask you one last thing. Go quietly and die for this brother. That’ll be good for me. Let’s pretend you were killed by Viscount Perseus.”

Andrea was right. If I returned anyway, I would be killed by Viscount Perseus.

I didn’t even have a straw to hold on to.

Andrea’s knight, who had been ordered to kill me and dragged me into the woods, laughed.

“Your mother had the same expression as you when she died.”

“That’s… what do you mean?”

“What an irritatingly d*mb woman. The whole world knows that it was the queen and the prince who drove your mother to insanity and killed her, but only you don’t know. Tsk tsk.”

“…!”

“Do you know why they let you live? If you die when they’re already under suspicion it will be difficult.”

It wasn’t until I was about to die that I realized everything clearly.

That my mother was murdered and that I was used.

“It’s a relief that a fool like you didn’t become emperor.”

Hearing the knight’s ridicule, I died. No, I thought I did……

My fading mind suddenly woke up and I opened my eyes.

In my room in the imperial palace.

When I came to my senses, I was back on a late summer day ten years ago, when I was in the midst of a marriage discussion with the twenty-two-year-old Viscount Perseus.