I’m In Charge of SCP

"Consultant Zhang, you are here." Sam walked over from the side.

"Have you been waiting for a long time?" Zhang Jue remembered that the time interval between him and Sam climbing up would not exceed a few minutes at most.

Sam nodded: "In this 'forest where abnormal people live', the flow of time is different from the outside world, sometimes fast and sometimes slow."

"I see." Zhang Jue nodded, "Then let's go now."

At this moment, there is only a path in front of Zhang Jue and Sam, winding forward.

Because in this "strange forest that cannot be named repeatedly", all creatures, buildings, and landmarks cannot be named with the same name, so this road will not work either.

According to the exploration experience of the predecessors, they must move forward along this "road that cannot be named repeatedly".

In this 'extra-dimensional anomalous forest', time and space are chaotic, so maps cannot be drawn, and the scenery on both sides of the path changes from time to time, so it does not mean that you can go wherever you want or find whomever you want Who, a large part may depend on luck.

Yu Hongbo encountered that "insidious, cunning, shameless and obscene kobold" three times in a row, and he didn't know whether he was lucky or unlucky.

The only thing that is certain is that the end of the 'main road' is also a dry well. As for whether it is the same as the one they came from, it is not known.

Once at the end, they must return from the wellhead to the real world and start all over again.

Zhang Jue saw Sam take out a tape recorder from his backpack and turn it on. It should be to record the exploration process of the two.

"Why not use a camera?" Zhang Jue asked.

"Because there is a spatial anomaly in 'this terrifying and terrifying forest', according to the latest requirements of the Foundation, no video recordings are allowed, only audio recordings are allowed."

"I see." Zhang Jue nodded, "Are you ready, let's go!"

...

The following content is excerpted from the first exploration records of "the most handsome consultant in the whole administration" and "the chubby classmate called Hanhan" to the "forest where you need to be careful when speaking".

...

The two were walking on the "path of no return", and the "self-proclaimed handsome consultant Zhang" took out a bag of melon seeds from nowhere.

Consultant Zhang: "Little Fat Classmate\

,"Do you want to come a little.

Researcher Sam: Uh, that...

Consultant Zhang: You can call me "Consultant Zhang who loves flowers and sees flowers blooming, personable and dignified, who plans the universe and is invincible.

Researcher Sam: Uh, well, 'Everyone sees...flowers...invincible...Consultant Qiankun Zhang', according to Section 1.02 of the Authority's 4000-SEP-1 protocol, we are not allowed to eat anything other than the rations in the exploration pack any food.

Consultant Zhang: Is there such a thing?

Researcher Sam: Um, yes.

Consultant Zhang: Alright, I'll pay attention next time - bah, why is there such a bitterness.

Researcher Sam: ...

Consultant Zhang: "Hanhan chubby student", I heard from your "straight male supervisor" that you have ever been to this "forest where people are very easy to tie their tongues"?

Researcher Sam: Yes, a few times.

Consultant Zhang: Did you encounter anything special?

Researcher Sam: Compared with the 'missing researcher surnamed Yu', I may be more fortunate and have not encountered any bad things.

Consultant Zhang: Have you ever encountered those strange animals?

Researcher Sam: Yes, I had dinner with a merman once.

"Self-proclaimed very handsome Consultant Zhang" took out a pen and paper from his backpack, and drew a huge fish head with a pair of human legs underneath.

Consultant Zhang: So?

Researcher Sam: Yes.

Consultant Zhang: Does it really look like this? I'm just kidding.

Researcher Sam: Uh… I'm not kidding.

...

The two walked for half an hour on the "winding and winding" path, neither saw any animal entities, nor encountered any buildings, as far as they could see, they were all forests.

Consultant Zhang: It’s so boring, ‘cute chubby classmate’, let’s sing a song and listen to it.

Researcher Sam: Um, sorry, I'm tone deaf.

Consultant Zhang: What you said, it seems that I have all five notes. Didn’t you come in before? Why are you still so nervous? Relax, I’m not nervous.

Researcher Sam: Uh... no comparison to you.

Consultant Zhang, who claimed to be the most handsome in the entire administration, cleared his throat and began to sing.

Consultant Zhang: Which one in Shandandan is blooming~ Hong Yanyan——If the sea can take away my sorrow, let him drift away with the wind~~~~cough cough cough——

Researcher Sam: Um, are you alright?

Consultant Zhang (covering his forehead): It’s okay, I’m a little hypoxic——while my grandfather is in a good mood, I’ll give you something that the TV station doesn’t allow.

Researcher Sam: ? ? ?

Consultant Zhang: The song is about the red sun rolling down the western slope~ The young couple sat on the kang and touched the eighteenth~

Researcher Sam: ? ? ?

Consultant Zhang: This is the Northeast version, with a bit of an accent. You may not be used to it with your half-baked Chinese. I’ll give you a taste of Jingzhou’s version. Touch your feet to relieve your heart, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Researcher Sam: What's the "demeanor...what Tangtang...Consultant Zhang", I'm recording the audio...

Consultant Zhang: Ah, it doesn’t matter. I’ll discuss the issue of publishing with the Administration later. If the Administration pays some money, I will also pay some. At that time, I will return all the money, and the money I earn will be divided into 30-70%——

Researcher Sam: ...

【DATA EXPUNGED】

A 'big bird as tall as a man' stood in the middle of the 'small dirt road', blocking the way of the two of them.

"Good morning, two travelers."

"Consultant Zhang who claims to be the most handsome in the world" took the lead to stand in front.

[According to Section 2.06 of the 4000-SEP-2 agreement, if you encounter a local entity, you need to address or refer to him/her/it by appearance. 】

Consultant Zhang: Good afternoon, handsome Dao.

'Pathblocker' spread its wings slightly.

"Quack, I'm not called the handsome eagle, you can call me Gibson."

Consultant Zhang: What Pusen?

"Gibson"

Consultant Zhang: What Sen?

"Gibson"

Consultant Zhang: Jeep what?

The 'big eagle with an eagle's beak' sighed.

"Forget it, call it whatever you like."

Consultant Zhang: Alright, 'Mr. Sand Sculpture who looks a bit dull'.

[Per 4000-SEP-2, Section 2.07, do not refer to a local entity by any name, designation, or number, even if it refers to itself by that. 】

"Mr. Sand Sculpture who is indeed a bit dull" looked at the two of them.

"May I ask, what do you two call each other?"

Consultant Zhang: It's really presumptuous, "Mr. Sand Sculpture", we don't know each other well at all, don't you know, these days, names are like a man's length and a woman's weight, it's a secret!

Sam: ...

Sand Sculpture: ...

"Sorry to bother you." The 'birdman covered in feathers' bowed slightly, "Actually, I want to say, I saw you eating, can you give me some, I'm a little hungry."

[According to Section 2.12 C of the 4000-SEP-2 protocol, if the entity shows hunger, feed it. 】

Consultant Zhang (looking at the melon seeds in his hand): Do you want to eat melon seeds?

The 'beggar' nodded: "Yes, I haven't eaten for a few days."

Consultant Zhang (looking up and down at the 'beggar'): It's fine to give you food, but I have a few questions, I can only give you something if you tell me, how about it, it's fair.

The 'Hungry Bird Man' nodded: "It's very fair, if you have any questions, please ask."

Consultant Zhang: This is not the first time we have come here. During our previous trips, we have seen many other creatures in this forest, but without exception, they all have no names, or in other words, they and their names , were forced to separate, 'Brother Sand Sculpture' how about you, why do you have a name?

Hearing the question from "the most handsome consultant Zhang in the universe", the "answerer" sighed, then raised his bird's head and looked up at the sky, as if lost in memory.

"That's right, most of the people who live here and their descendants don't have names, because they were taken away in that war. But I have, because I was the first to come here. The war has not yet I was warned before I started, so I didn't get my name taken."

"Consultant Zhang who is also handsome in other universes" and "The Hanhan Xiaopang who has not spoken" looked at each other.

Consultant Zhang: Can you tell me in detail what you know about the war?

'Hungry Highwayman' shook his head: "I said, I didn't experience that terrible war, but my uncle did, but it is very old now, I believe it will die soon— —Oh, good hearted person, can you give me your melon seeds? I want to rush back and eat him for my uncle, hoping he can catch up."

[According to Section 2.09 of the 4000-SEP-2 agreement, if a local entity wants to give you a name, title or title, politely refuse. 】

Consultant Zhang: I am not a well-intentioned person, but since it has been agreed, I will give this to you, 'Dear Sand Sculpture'.

"Big Polite Bird" bowed slightly: "Thank you, where are you going? If you are not in a hurry, can you come to my house as a guest? You can stay overnight at my house, my bed is very comfortable."

[According to Section 2.17 of the 4000-SEP-2 agreement, do not sleep in the accommodation provided by the local entity. If not invited, may sleep in the residence of the local entity. 】

Consultant Zhang: I don't think it's a good idea to sleep over at someone's house who doesn't even have food.

The 'hospitable birdman' sighed: "That would be a pity, I look forward to such a day, thank you."

After the 'tall birdman blocking the way' left, the two continued to move forward along the 'only safe path'.

About ten minutes later, they encountered a species with a fish head on the upper body and human feet on the lower body.

"Good afternoon, two travelers—hey, fat man, if I remember correctly, we've met, haven't we?"

Sam (bow slightly): Hello, we meet again, but I think the nickname you gave me is inappropriate, sorry I can't accept it.

'Fishhead Monster' laughed: "Yes, you forgot, I always like to call people by nicknames, I know this is a bad habit, please don't be angry - this time, you can still have dinner with me Well, I remember last time you said you were not feeling well, you only drank some water, and didn't eat the cat meat pie I made for you."

Sam: Sorry, I have something else to do.

'Sam's old friend' laughed: "Same as last time, you are always so busy and left in a hurry, can you tell me what you are going to do? I am familiar with this place, maybe I can help. "

The "old friend of the mermaid" glanced at "Consultant Zhang who was struggling to suppress his laughter", and the "latter" nodded to him.

Sam: We're looking for a... um, a 'friend' with a dog's head and a name... a bit like Lisianthus and Daisy, according to him.

The "half-human, half-fish monster" thought for a moment: "Oh, I know which one you are talking about. I have seen it once. Its recent behavior is indeed a bit strange. It seems that its condition is not very good."

Sam: Can you describe his situation to me, we are friends and care about it very much.

The 'interrogated' scratched his fish's head with his fins: "It's just weird, its character seems to have become more irritable, and it said some inexplicable things, but it's nothing, it's been living here for a long time, this This kind of situation is very common, and everyone is familiar with it.”

Sam: "So can you tell me how to find it?"

"Sorry, I don't know too well." 'The fish that answered the question' suddenly looked into the distance: "Ah, my cat meat pie seems to be mushy, I have to go back and have a look, we will see you again, my dear Xiaomao ball."

The 'big-headed murloc' disappeared quickly.

Consultant Zhang: I won’t complain about its food. Can you tell me how it stuffs food into its mouth with its two fins shorter than my feet?

Sam: Umm... it'll pick up food with a fork, throw it in the air, and catch it with its mouth. Hmm... well, it's just that the toss is usually not quite right.

Consultant Zhang: I suddenly thought of a riddle - murlocs eat fish, 'Little Fatty' eats pigs - using mathematical terms.

Sam: Consultant Zhang, I have failed in mathematics since junior high school.

Consultant Zhang: Then how did you join the Administration? Well, let me tell you the answer - merge similar items.

Sam: ...

The two investigators continued to move forward along the 'small dirt road that can only be advanced'.

An hour later, an ancient well appeared ahead.

It is exactly the same as the one when they entered this 'unspeakable forest'.

Consultant Zhang: Is this the end? It's a bit short.

Sam: Yes, this "must-pass road" is affected by space anomalies, and the duration is short, and the scenery on both sides of the road is constantly changing.

Consultant Zhang: I understand. Let's go back and make a summary. We can't come here for nothing.

Sam; OK.

Sam turned off the tape recorder.

The first exploration log ends.

...

My head is a little dizzy, and my condition is not very good, but fortunately, I have finished coding.