It Was Me, Not You

Faded blonde hair and pale golden eyes.

‘Yes, this baby is my daughter.’

The duke continued to deny his suffocating heart and repeated to himself.

The Grand Duke said, stroking Seia’s head.

“Let’s go to the sofa and take a seat.”

“Yes.”

The duke took Seia’s hand and headed towards the sofa.

As soon as he sat down, he called the butler.

“Haron.”

The general butler, who opened the door of the office and entered, bowed deeply.

“Yes, my lord.”

“Bring some tea and fruit for Seia to eat.”

“Yes.”

The butler left and the duke looked at Seia.

Seia, who was still small, was waving her feet that did not touch the floor and smiling happily.

“Seia.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Is there anything you want to have these days”

As soon as Seia was born, he left for the battlefield without even seeing her face.

As a father, he had to stay with Seia, who lost her mother, but he didn’t fulfill that role.

Therefore, he wanted to fulfill his responsibilities as a father to Seia from now on.

He couldn’t undo the past, so he thought he should do better from now on.

Because he returned to the grand castle, vowing to himself that he would grant everything she wanted.

Even though he was facing his only daughter, he could not understand why he was so indifferent.

Obviously, when he thinks of Seia alone, he promises to do better with the feelings of guilt and apologetics towards Seia, but when he actually meets Seia, this hurtful heart fades.

Maybe it’s because Seia doesn’t look like Ariel?

Just because she doesn’t resemble Ariel doesn’t mean she’s not my child, but I couldn’t stop myself from constantly looking for Ariel’s appearance in Seia.

“Well…”

Seia pondered and narrowed her brow.  Then she soon moved her tiny lips.

“I don’t want anything right now. Just being with my father like this makes me really happy. I’ll tell you later when I think of it.”

“Yeah, you will.”

Seia looked at him with a loving smile.

But strangely, the duke did not feel that Seiya was lovely.

He was unfamiliar with Seia, who didn’t resemble Ariel in the slightest, but he decided that he would love the child no more.

How long has it been since he made a promise like that, and did he feel such a strange sense of incongruity?

Why are you doing this?

The duke blinked slowly and looked at Seia, who was smiling brightly.

She tried to find even the slightest bit of familiarity in the child’s face, but the more he looked, the more strange it seemed.

My daughter is unfamiliar to me because she doesn’t look like Ariel.

Had he gone mad by staying on the battlefield too long?

If Ariel had been by his side at this time, she would have slapped him hard on the back for his ugly thoughts.

The duke remembered Ariel’s scolding for him, and he had a bitter smile on his face.

It would have been nice if Seia had looked like Ariel a little bit.

Looking at Seia, who has no resemblance to Ariel, with resigned eyes, he naturally thought of Diana.

Diana.

That woman’s daughter.

I’ve never even thought about it, that child.

It was disgusting to see her out of the world, so he didn’t even give her a name.

But every time I looked at Seia, and whenever I thought of Ariel, I thought of that child.

How sad Ariel would be if she knew I was thinking like this.

The duke built a self-helpful arsenal.

Tok-

“Sir, the tea is ready.” 

“Come in.”

Hearing the butler’s voice, the duke cleared his foolish thoughts.

The butler, who came with a silver tray, laid down a plate of tea, fruit, and cookies on the table.

“It’s my favorite butter cookie!”

Seia said happily. The duke held out a cookie to Seia.

“You like this.”

“Yes.”

Thinking that I should remember it, the Grand Duke looked down at Seia eating.

The duke stopped his gaze at the plate with the fruit.

Beautifully sliced ​​apples and pears were Ariel’s favorite fruits while she was still alive.

‘Come to think of it, they said that even when Ariel had Seia, she was only looking for these fruits.’

The duke smiled timidly, recalling how he had airlifted apples from the southern estate for Ariel, who wanted to eat ripe apples in early spring.

The duke took an apple with a fork and gave it to Seia, who had eaten all the cookies.

Seia frowned as soon as she saw the apple on the fork.

“Ugh! Father, I can’t eat apples.”

“You can’t eat?”

“Yeah, I hate apples so much and they don’t taste good”

A strange feeling of discomfort passed over him. The Grand Duke stopped with a stiff face and put the fork down again.

Just because Ariel liked apples doesn’t mean Seia has to like them too. 

Thinking it was a foolish idea, the duke gave Seia another cookie.

Seia, who took the cookie, said to the duke.

“Thank you. Father. Can I come over to the office often? I want to spend time with you. You’ve been away for a long time.”

Seia looked at him and said.

The deep affection in the two eyes of the child was transmitted to him.

It was a brief moment in those eyes, but the feeling of disappointment in Seia became a feeling of guilt and pressed on his chest.

The duke gently stroked Seia’s hair in embarrassment and smiled faintly.

“Yeah, then, you can come whenever you like.”

Seia, who smiled brightly, nodded her head.

“Yes!”

Seia went back to her room only after dinner time.

The duke, who had send out all his servants, stood by the window and watched the red sky at sunset.

He turned his gaze to the outbuildings where the servants and maids stayed in the distance.

The annex was visible, but the small hut where the child would be staying was never seen from the castle.

Because it was located in such a remote place.

Whoop-.

As evening approached, I heard the sound of the bitter winter wind blowing outside the window.

Hearing the chilling wind, the duke remembered the little girl’s back of her red hand.

No matter how long she had dipped her hand in the cold stream, the back of her small hand was swollen enough to feel pain just by looking at it.

It certainly wasn’t a hand that had been dipped in cold water once or twice.

From Diana, who was standing looking at him, the image of a child shivering from the cold that night was overlap.

At that moment, an unfamiliar feeling surged in his chest.

At that moment, I wanted to bring Leah and kill her.

Why is it that the child she gave birth to betraying even the owner she served is acting like a slave?

It was an incomprehensible anger, but even thinking about everything else, it didn’t make sense to raise seia that much.

Because the duke had seen how much effort Leah had to make to give birth to Diana.

Even if she’s only 10 years old.

The duke instantly felt sympathy for Diana.

And he narrowed his brow deeply at his own feelings for Diana.

It was he who had been roaming the battlefield for 10 years and earned the modifier of a blood-crazed devil.

But sympathy for Leah’s daughter who is no one else!

How ridiculous it would be to hear those who died at his hands.

However, the appearance of Diana he saw was too tragic to be Leah’s daughter, and it made him feel uncomfortable when he remembered what Ariel had said.

Either way, he couldn’t keep Ariel’s words about not sacrificing the child.

“Sigh.”.

– I’m doing it.

– When mom is busy… I help 

Diana spoke with a calm face as if nothing had happened, but her bluntness made his heart even more uncomfortable.

The person who was familiar with the situation that the young child came out of the laundry of the cold winter was itself.

I’d rather have not been uncomfortable because I was resembling her.

But no matter how I looked at it, Diana did not resemble her a little. The more you see…

“No, that’s what it does not say.”

Just as the cool voice of the duke cut off his own thoughts was scattered in the air, he heard a knock on the door of the office.

“Who are you?”

Even the general butler was sent, so there was no one guarding the front of the office.

The duke turned away from the window.  Soon a familiar voice came from outside the door.

“Your Majesty, this is Edwin.”

The duke looked at his watch. It is past 7 o’clock, and Edwin is not the type of person to visit the office at such a time.

What’s going on? The Archduke returned to his desk and said to the door.

“Come in.”

“I wish you, Grand Duke.” 

Edwin entered the office, knelt down on one knee, and set the example of a knight.

“Stand up.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“What’s going on at this hour?”

“Actually, I thought a lot about whether this was an important matter or not, but I had a feeling that I would regret it later if I didn’t say it, so I was rude to this late.”

Edwin shook his head as if sorry, but the duke waved his hand lightly as if annoyed.

“The introduction is long.Tell me the short one.”

“That’s… I recently saw Diana’s mother outside the castle.”

“You  said you saw Diana’s mother?”

The duke’s eyebrows rose sharply at the unexpected story.

***

Diana opened her eyes, startled by the sound of the door being opened.

“Stop sleeping and wake up! How long are you going to sleep!”

At Leah’s sharp voice, Diana got up from her back bunk. She looked at the clock she wanted to know if she had overslept.

She’s 7:30.

It was earlier than the time Diana usually woke up.

Originally, Leah rarely came into Diana’s room.

And Leah has been leaving the house early in the morning these days, so she doesn’t see Diana when she wakes up.

But today it suddenly came.

Also so early in the morning.

Every time Leah did something unusual, Diana looked at her, holding her breath, as nothing good had ever happened to Diana.

“What kind of room is this? Really, do you not know how to organize properly?”

Leah looked around her room and looked back at Diana, annoyed at her that she hadn’t organized her clothes properly.

Diana flinched at Leah’s cold eyes.

“Because I have somewhere to go.  Wash, change her clothes, and come down quickly.”

“Yes.”