Lack of Love

When Zhong Qiran was kissed, he didn’t react until Yan Hao’s tongue traced his mouth, and then he began to struggle. He pushed against his tongue, trying to push it out, but instead, he was kissed even deeper as his tongue was hooked. His breathing became unstable, and even his resistance gradually weakened.

It didn’t matter if anyone saw them anymore. After all, they had already kissed, so what else could happen?

After this kiss, even the unfamiliarity from their long separation disappeared.

After returning home, Zhong Qiran was still taken to bed by Yan Hao. He was stripped naked and lay under Yan Hao, spreading his legs to allow him to penetrate him.

Perhaps because the last time it was too intense, Zhong Qiran was somewhat a little afraid. “Yan Hao,  can only do it once this time?…”

 “Didn’t I make you feel good? Why are you afraid of me?”

Zhong Qiran was utterly defeated. He groaned a few times and reluctantly said, “Don’t ask me this now…”

“If I don’t ask like this, you won’t tell me the truth…” Yan Hao was by now deep inside Zhong Qian and he continued his movements inside him, persistently wanting to know the answer. “I’ve told you everything. Can’t you be honest with me?” he asked while constantly biting  Zhong Qiran’s ear and kissing his neck

” i’m….. I’m not afraid… I’m just not used to it… I’ve never seen you in your work mode before…” Zhong Qiran knew his face must be very red, but he still insisted on finishing his words. “I think you… are very handsome…”

Even when they were in love before, they had never spoken such words. And his only relief was that he had his back turned to Yan Hao, so the man couldn’t see his current expression. But this relief quickly vanished because he clearly felt that his crotch inside him was becoming larger, and the friction during each thrust became increasingly intense.

“Yan Hao… please, no more…” Zhong Qiran stopped talking because all that followed were ambiguous moans.

Yan Hao didn’t go too far this time and stopped after only doing it twice. As he carried the drowsy Zhong Qiran to the bathroom for washing, he was still hard and unsatisfied.

Zhong Qiran went directly to Yan Hao’s place after getting off the plane. After a day of using his brain, he was already tired, and his physical strength couldn’t handle another round. So he leaned against Yan Hao and used his hand to help him relieve himself, but after just a few strokes, he stopped moving.

Yan Hao looked down at Zhong Qiran and found that he had fallen asleep. Instinctively, he kissed his sleeping face and continued pleasuring himself while gripping Zhong Qiran’s hand, breathing heavily. In the end, he came into Zhong Qiran’s hand.

After cleaning him up, Yan Hao carefully carried him back to bed, moving with extreme gentleness as if he didn’t want to wake him up.

He himself also got into bed, feeling the warmth of the Zhong Qiran in his arms. Only when he held him like this did he feel some genuine emotions.

When Zhong Qiran woke up in the morning, he looked up and saw that Yan Hao who was already awake, his expression somewhat unnatural, as if restraining something.

They didn’t spend much time together, even less than regular couples did, but Zhong Qiran could always feel Yan Hao’s progress. He was always working hard to get closer to him.

In the morning, when Yan’s mother saw him coming out of her son’s room, she immediately understood that the two of them had been fooling around again. She looked at him with disgust and revulsion, occasionally muttering some unpleasant words.

Yan’s mother was also a shrewd person. She never showed her dislike for Zhong Qiran in front of her son. Only in private would she reveal this side.

Zhong Qiran had essentially reached the point where he could ignore Yan’s mother’s attitude and no longer cared about it. Sometimes, he would deliberately call her “mom” in front of Yan Hao just to annoy her. Seeing Yan’s mother struggling to get angry but not daring to do so, it brought him indescribable happiness.

Yan Hao usually pretended not to notice their disagreements and agreed with Zhong Qiran’s words and always picked his side.

Yan’s mother, on the other hand, would become infuriated but couldn’t kick  Zhong Qiran out of the house. She also came from a wealthy background and valued her reputation greatly. She couldn’t bring herself to expel a guest from her house, fearing that it would be seen as ingratitude. Both morally and logically, she was unable to do such a thing. She just never expected that after Zhong Qiran went to study in M country, he would come back with such audacity.

Zhong Qiran knew exactly what Yan’s mother was thinking, but he didn’t have the energy to deal with her at that moment. 

This time, he came back specifically to handle his proposal, and this time it was even more urgent than before. He only had one week before he had to leave again. So during those few days, he accompanied Yan Hao to work, going early and returning late, bringing back unfinished work to do at home.

When Zhong Qiran stayed at Yan’s house, they still slept in separate rooms. However, sometimes when Yan Hao knocked on the door of the guest room and didn’t hear a response, he would enter on his own. Whenever he saw Zhong Qiran sleeping with his head on the table, he would carry him back to his own room. There were a few mornings when Zhong Qiran woke up in Yan Hao’s bed, and Yan Hao hadn’t done anything to him other than peacefully hold him while sleeping.

Zhong Qiran felt as if they had returned to how they previously were with Yan Hao just slightly different. But their love for each other remained.

Zhong Qiran would probably not return to M country until after graduation this time. He thought Yan Hao would be insatiable like the last time they parted, but to his surprise, they only had sex once the night before he left and Yan Hao easily let him go.

Zhong Qiran asked, wanting to know what Yan Hao was thinking then.

Yan Hao said, “You should understand that I want more than just one night.”

Although they were back together, they had no plans for the future. Zhong Qiran would be returning to his home country after graduation, and he couldn’t stay at Yan Hao’s house as a guest forever.

Zhong Qiran vaguely understood what he meant. Although the misunderstandings from the past had been clarified, the hurt they caused each other still remained. He didn’t want to dampen the mood, but this was a problem they both had to face. “Taking your money, the marriage certificate doesn’t mean anything anymore.”

Yan Hao remained silent.

Zhong Qiran saw his gaze darken.

 Yan Hao couldn’t think of a definite answer. He had made a big mistake before, even if it was unintentional. He treated their relationship as a test, disregarding Zhong Qiran’s feelings and divorcing him. Marriage should have been a life time thing, but now it had became Yan Hao’s biggest fatal blow. He couldn’t find a more powerful way to express his loyalty than marriage.

Yan Hao was probably anxious, and even though he didn’t show much emotional reaction, he held onto Zhong Qiran tightly and refused to let go. “What can I do for you to believe me?”

In fact, Zhong Qiran had forgiven him long ago. Compared to all the misunderstandings, life itself was undoubtedly more precious. After experiencing many things, he understood that it was not easy to meet someone who truly knew and loved you. Dwelling on these trivial matters was meaningless. He had no reason not to forgive Yan Hao, who risked his life to save him twice. But as Li Qi had said, he had indeed suffered for nothing, so it was time to release this pent-up resentment.

So Zhong Qiran smiled at Yan Hao and said, “Let me vent my anger by giving you a good beating.”