Lack of Love

“So, you’ll just obediently take the slap?” Yan Hao lifted Zhong Qiran’s chin and gently applied cool ointment to his swollen cheek. The force of Yan Hao’s mother’s anger was not light, and Zhong Qiran’s face was severely swollen from the beating.

He hissed, unable to distinguish whether the pain was from the injury or the coldness of the ointment, but he remembered to respond to Yan Hao, “Someone has to make the first concession. Your mom values her image, and if I don’t humble first, we probably won’t be able to reconcile for a lifetime.”

Yan Hao stared at his face without speaking.

Zhong Qiran smiled and said, “Do you worry about me?”

“Of course,” Yan Hao replied with a very serious tone, “Although it may not be fair to say so, I still hope you don’t blame her. She has spent her whole life with just my dad and me. All her thoughts revolve around us. I can’t say she’s a good mother-in-law, but at least she’s a good mother. Once she considers you a family member, she will be very protective.”

The two were in close proximity, but there was no hint of ambiguity at the moment. Although they were partners, sometimes they were as intimate as family members.

Zhong Qiran carefully observed Yan Hao’s expression and suddenly asked, “Do you feel nothing when you say these words?”

He could sense Yan Hao’s progress, but sometimes he felt that there was no further advancement. Yan Hao could say such things because he understood these principles and knew his parents’ hardships, but Zhong Qiran had no way of knowing how much of it was driven by emotions. Most of the time, Yan Hao seemed like an outsider, only caring about things related to himself. Zhong Qiran always felt that Yan Hao had poured all his fragmented emotions onto himself and couldn’t spare any more for others.

“A little, but not much,” Yan Hao admitted, “It’s like trying to grasp air. You can clearly feel the caress of the wind, but you can’t touch it. Only when you’re by my side do I feel motivated.”

Zhong Qiran remained silent.

“I never thought about it when I understood it before. It’s only when I lost it that I realized how difficult it is to have this feeling,” Yan Hao recalled the reactions of the people around him and shared his insights from these days.

Zhong Qiran smiled helplessly, “Your way of saying it sounds like you can’t live without me.”

“Yes,” Yan Hao quickly replied, as if he had no hesitation, “So, for the rest of your life, you’re destined to stay by my side.”

The morning after the heated argument between the mother-in-law and Zhong Qiran, the family of four sat at the dining table for breakfast.

In the past, Yan’s mother would always find an excuse to refuse to sit at the same table as Zhong Qiran, but today she sat silently in her seat without leaving and the atmosphere at the dining table seemed a bit subtle.

Zhong Qiran’s face was still swollen and not attractive, so he covered it with breathable gauze. He broke the silence and greeted, “Good morning, Dad and Mom.”

Yan’s father’s hand holding the newspaper trembled slightly, his gaze scanning from Zhong Qiran and Yan Hao’s faces before finally returning to his wife. He had returned late from a business trip the previous night and had no idea what had happened at home.

Yan’s mother didn’t look at Zhong Qiran, but she still nodded her head and casually responded as if she didn’t care. She caught a glimpse of her husband looking at her with a strange look, unsure whether he felt embarrassed or couldn’t back down, so she nudged him with her elbow, “What are you looking at? Eat your breakfast.”

Yan’s father immediately snapped out of it and asked Zhong Qiran, “What happened to your face?”

Yan’s mother’s hand holding the cup slightly paused.

Zhong Qiran quickly answered, “It’s nothing. I accidentally bumped into something and got a bruise.”

That must have been quite a fall for his face to hit the ground.

Yan’s father made a sound of acknowledgment and didn’t expose this flaw-ridden lie. As a man working outside, he only sought a comfortable life, a happy and fulfilling family, and it didn’t matter whether he continued to delve into the root of the problem. What mattered was that he could see the tense atmosphere between Yan’s mother Zhong had eased.

She stole a glance at Zhong Qiran but quickly looked away.

Zhong Qiran was already satisfied. It would probably take some time for Yan’s mother to fully accept him. But he wasn’t in a hurry, he would take it slow.

Afterwards, Zhong Qiran made time to meet with Li Qi.

Zhong Qiran still had gauze on his face, which was quite noticeable.

Li Qi was surprised when he saw his face and his first words were, “I remember Lian sijiao shouldn’t have hit you this hard.”

Zhong Qiran froze. Now that he thought about it, he realized that Yan’s mother and Liang Siqiao had hit the same side of his face. He suddenly found it somewhat amusing, but after seeing Li Qi’s anxious expression, he didn’t feel like joking anymore. “It wasn’t him.”

He saw Li Qi visibly relieved before he remembered to ask about Lian Sijiao’s relationship with him.

Li Qi had been tight-lipped about it before, and Zhong Qiran didn’t pursue it. Now he realized that he couldn’t keep it a secret any longer and admitted that Liang Sijiao was his ex-boyfriend.

Li Qi didn’t know that they were just acting, and he still misunderstood to mean that Lian Sijiao liked Yan Hao.

Zhong Qiran listened quietly for a while without explaining first, only asking, “What happened afterward?”

“Nothing,” Li Qi said, seemingly lacking confidence in his words. Under Zhong Qiran’s suspicious gaze, he added, “I just kissed him.”

“And then?”

“He slapped me and ran away.”

Zhong Qiran didn’t know what to say. A small misunderstanding had caused them to remain at odds until now, showing that their way of getting along had inherent problems. He roughly guessed the intention behind Li Qi’s invitation to meet and spoke frankly, “Do you want to win him back?”

This time, Li Qi didn’t hesitate and replied, “Yes.”

Zhong Qiran nodded and then clarified the misunderstanding. If Li Qi had shown hesitation or denial earlier, he probably wouldn’t have helped clarify this misunderstanding. No matter how much one says, it’s useless without determination. He owed Lian Sijiao a favor, and he was also friends with Li Qi, so technically speaking, it would be difficult no matter which side he helped. But after some thought, he decided to sell out Lian Sijiao.

Whether Li Qi won Lian Sijiao back or not depended solely on him.

On that day, a client came to visit the company, and there was also a dinner party in the evening. Yan Hao couldn’t avoid socializing, but Zhong Qiran didn’t expect that the client would invite him as well.

Originally, he was just a behind-the-scenes person, merely raising some minor questions about a client’s analysis report, but the other party remembered him.

As an employee of the company, it wasn’t strange for Zhong Qiran to accompany the boss to social events. However, he couldn’t hold his liquor well, so he usually found ways to decline. But since the client specifically requested him, he couldn’t refuse. He glanced at Yan Hao, who didn’t say anything, but his gaze seemed to indicate, “I’m here.”

That night, Zhong Qiran quickly got drunk, and the others weren’t faring well either; they were practically all in a mess.

Yan Hao was used to socializing and had consumed quite a lot, but at least he was still conscious.

When the event ended, he remembered to call a car first to send the client away before helping Zhong Qiran into another car to go home together.

Zhong Qiran appeared to be sober even when drunk, just exceptionally quiet. But once they got into the car, he became restless, holding Yan Hao with both hands and pressing his body against him.

The driver smelled the alcohol on both of them and had a general idea of the situation. People in various states when drunk were nothing new to him; he had seen it all before. Calmly, he asked, “Where to?”

Yan Hao glanced at Zhong Qiran and didn’t mention their home address. Instead, he mentioned the name of a hotel. His expression was too serious, even though he was being embraced by another man, there was no hint of intimacy, nothing to make anyone think otherwise.

The driver acknowledged with a word and shifted his gaze away from the rearview mirror, not looking at them again.

Meanwhile, Zhong Qiran’s hand was already restlessly placed on Yan Hao’s thigh, moving towards his inner thigh.