Lack of Love

Extra 13

After that, Li Qi would find an excuse to come and have dinner with Lian Sijiao every night, never empty-handed. He would always bring something that Lian Sijiao couldn’t refuse, like desserts.

Lian Sijiao liked sweet things, especially pudding. After he didn’t refuse Li Qi’s offer the first time, he had even less reason to send him away the second or third time. Anyway, he didn’t have much to do, and having someone to eat with him while he was alone was not a bad thing.

Both of them had different work schedules, and even their free time didn’t coincide. The best time for them to meet was always in the evening.

That night, Li Qi brought a bottle of red wine, supposedly a gift from a business partner. He thought it would be too much trouble to take it home, so he decided they should just drink it.

Lian Sijiao stared at the bottle of wine without saying a word, wondering what Li Qi was plotting.

Li Qi smiled and said, “Are you afraid I’ll get you drunk and do something naughty?”

Lian Sijiao rarely drank alcohol, and it was intricately connected to his parents’ affair. But Li Qi didn’t know about it, and Lian Sijiao didn’t think it was that important. He simply didn’t enjoy socializing, so he didn’t have any friends to drink with either.

Lian Sijiao still didn’t speak, but Li Qi admitted first, “Even if I wanted to, I would still need your consent.”

Lian Sijiao couldn’t come up with a response. He felt that no matter what he said, he would only be teased by Li Qi.

“If you don’t want to drink, I won’t force you. But…”

Lian Sijiao impatiently interrupted him, “Alright, I’ll drink.”

If he let Li Qi continue, he would surely mention something about it being the last time or creating memories. These days, Li Qi always had these words on his lips, and then he would say something that Lian Sijiao couldn’t resist.

Although Lian Sijiao saw through his tactics, he still fell for it.

Instead of getting him drunk, Li Qi paid close attention to how much he drank. He talked about interesting work anecdotes as usual, as if he genuinely wanted to have a simple chat.

Lian Sijiao knew he wouldn’t get drunk, so he gradually let go of his guard. However, it had been a long time since he had consumed alcohol, so as soon as he stood up, he felt a bit dizzy. After swaying a few times, he fell towards Li Qi.

Li Qi not only caught Lian Sijiao but also boldly kissed him. He didn’t have any intentions initially, but Lian Sijiao seemed a bit dazed after drinking and lacked his usual assertiveness. It seemed like he could be easily taken advantage of. Li Qi couldn’t resist…

Lian Sijiao’s body leaned backward and lay on the sofa. Before he could say anything, Li Qi’s kiss silenced him.

Li Qi pressed him down, kissing him intensely and passionately.

Lian Sijiao didn’t resist, allowing his body to be manipulated. The wine was potent, and with Li Qi’s mouth, the aroma became even more intoxicating. It made his head more dizzier, making it difficult to refuse. However, he wasn’t drunk; his mind was still clear. He had grown accustomed to kissing, at least he couldn’t resist Li Qi’s kisses and always lets him have his way.

After kissing for a while, Li Qi suddenly lifted his head and looked at him “is this okay?should we do this?”. Lian Sijiao simply nodded his eyes filled with desire but still conflicted not knowing if he should agree to this or not wondering whether it was the alcohol’s influence.Li Qi put his hands around his neck, then lifted him up and walked directly upstairs.

I Lian Sijiao had always lived too rationally, too sober, without moments of indulgence. These principles and habits had followed him for more than twenty years, causing him to calmly sever his emotions, from friends to lovers, it was always like this.

He felt extremely conflicted, with his rationality clearly telling him it was not right, but a part of him was compromising. Because as long as he thought that they might not meet again in the future, it felt like he could agree to anything, just as Li Qi said, he also wanted to leave behind a beautiful memory.

At times like this, pretending to be too drunk with alcohol didn’t seem like a bad idea…

Just this once, he wanted to be a little willful. Lian Sijiao secretly made up his mind, gripping Li Qi’s neck tighter.

Li Qi pushed open the door on the second floor and laid him on the soft bed. He leaned over and unbuttoned the first button of Lian Sijiao’s shirt, starting to kiss delicately from his neck.

“Mmm…” Lian Sijiao sensitively turned his head, his throat emitting a vague moan, and he felt the other’s hands start to roam on his body, tracing his ribs to his waist.

Li Qi quickly became aroused, and his crotch pressed unreservedly against Lian Sijiao, rubbing against him.

Lian Sijiao closed his eyes, waiting for the next move, feeling a bit nervous and even having expectations he didn’t want to admit, but Li Qi suddenly stopped. He opened his eyes and found Li Qi staring at him.

Li Qi had already seen through Lian Sijiao’s intentions and whispered in his ear, “I know you may be able to accept me now, but you will regret it once you’re sober. What I want is not just once, but a lifetime…”

Lian Sijiao remained stunned for a while without responding.

Li Qi continued, “I won’t do anything to you. But it would be a disservice to myself not to take advantage of this situation.”

Li Qi lived up to his words, he propped himself up, unfastened his pants, pulled down his underwear, and held Lian Sijiao’s hand to touch him. His crotch was hot and hard, causing Lian Sijiao to instinctively want to retract his hand, but it was firmly held and pressed against it.

Blushing, Lian Sijiao averted his gaze, but Li Qi held his chin and turned him back for a kiss. His mind was completely in chaos as their tongues easily collided.

“Mmm…” He clearly felt how hard Li Qi’s  crotch was  throbbing in his palm, and he felt his body heating up as well, unsure if it was because of desire or the influence of alcohol.

Suddenly, Li Qi stopped kissing him, and as if confirming something, pressed below his abdomen. Lian Sijiao let out a hurried moan, twisting his body to try to dodge that hand.

“You’re also responding.” Li Qi didn’t let go, still trying to pull down his pants.

Lian Sijiao began to struggle, “You said… you wouldn’t go too far.”

Pretending to be drunk was one thing, being exposed was another. How could he dare to admit that he also desired this? It would only make Li Qi harbor even more hope, and as happy as they might be together tonight, it would bring equal pain when they parted.

“It’s not going too far. I’m just helping you relieve your desires. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it…

Lian Sijiao couldn’t remember how long it had been since he last released his desires. The feeling of someone holding the key to his pleasure was too terrifying. He tightly grasped Li Qi’s arm which was caressing his crotch, gasping and moaning uncontrollably, the ending of his voice soft and delicate, as if he was about to cry. Li Qi didn’t  dare let Lian Sijiao expose  more skin, fearing that he would lose control and take him right then and there, rendering his efforts in vain.

Lian Sijiao wanted to pretend to be drunk, and Li Qi wanted to force him to sober up, to face their relationship with clarity and meaning.

It was Lian Sijiao who reached climax first in Li Qi’s hands, his body trembling, his limbs weak and powerless.

Li Qi kissed his face affectionately and held him intimately, reaching his own climax in Lian Sijiao’s hands.

Lian Sijiao closed his eyes, not wanting to move, allowing Li Qi to help him clean up .

Li Qi took off Lian Sijiao’s pants, leaving him in his underwear so he could sleep better. He held him from behind and spoke to him, “I’m being serious . Even if you go abroad, I will still pursue you…”

“Why do you have to…” Lian Sijiao didn’t plan to say it, but it slipped out unintentionally.

Li Qi said, “I used to think it was foolish to change for someone else, but now I realize it’s not. Change doesn’t necessarily mean losing oneself, it can even be a form of progress. I know I haven’t been good enough in the past because I only thought of myself. But from now on, I won’t let you feel uneasy anymore.”

Lian Sijiao moved his lips, wanting to say something, but in the end, he couldn’t refute him.

“Lian Sijiao, be with me, okay?”

Li Qi’s hot breath sprayed on the back of Lian Sijiao’s neck, making him feel drowsy. Tonight was too chaotic and sudden, and he couldn’t make any decisions at all.

He thought he wouldn’t be able to sleep, but being held by Li Qi, he actually fell asleep peacefully  throughout the night.

The next day, Lian Sijiao woke up to a kiss.

“You get off… mmm…” Lian Sijiao couldn’t push him away, and instead, he was kissed more forcefully. Li Qi had brushed his teeth, his mouth had a fresh fragrance, but he hadn’t, and yet Li Qi didn’t seem to mind at all. Compared to kissing him, he was more afraid that Li Qi would feel his morning breath.

When Li Qi finally got off him, his lips were red from the kisses, his clothes were disheveled, and he was only wearing a pair of underwear.

Li Qi knew he couldn’t keep watching, so he told him to freshen up and come down for breakfast.

When Lian Sijiao looked in the mirror, he discovered a kiss mark near his collarbone. Li Qi’s words from last night still lingered in his ears, but he simply didn’t know what to do.

To say that his heart wasn’t moved, that he wasn’t shaken, would be a lie.

Sometimes he couldn’t help but doubt how long Li Qi’s enthusiasm would last, but he couldn’t deny that he was placing certain hopes on him.

However, there were less than two weeks left, and regardless, he had to give Li Qi an answer before going abroad.

Li Qi still had to go to work today. He didn’t frown even when he put on his wrinkled shirt; instead, he felt happy because there had been some progress between them. Before leaving the studio, he naturally kissed Lian Sijiao on the lips, just like before.

Lian Sijiao touched his lips, as if not particularly surprised, but with a feeling that it should be this way.

He realized that his mind was slowly changing.

Because Li Qi now said things to him that he had never said before. They were just a few simple words, but he felt valued, needed, loved…

The things he had once yearned to receive from Li Qi, he was now offering them willingly.