Lack of Love

After finishing his business, Zhong Qiran didn’t see Yan Hao anymore. It was only natural, but he felt somewhat absent-minded.

He stood at the entrance and couldn’t help but replay the details of his encounter with Yan Hao. The man was wearing a suit, clearly there for business and not to meet him.

He sighed and headed towards the parking lot.

In the following days, he didn’t run into Yan Hao again, and he intentionally tried to forget about the incident. Life went on as usual, busy and fulfilling.

A week later, he received the official reply from the company. His proposal was accepted, and he would start his internship at the company on the first of next month. Although he was happy, he couldn’t help but involuntarily think about the encounter with Yan Hao at the entrance. His excitement slowly cooled down, turning into a faint and helpless sadness.

He couldn’t deny that coming to this new environment, besides focusing on his studies, he also had the intention of forgetting him.

The breakup between them was different from a typical couple. It was a mutual agreement without the need for bitter words. Knowing Zhong Qiran’s personality, maybe a few years later, they could still be friends, and by then, he might be able to wish him and his other half well with a smile. But for now, he just couldn’t face it.

This was a transitional period, and things would definitely get better. At least he hoped that if they had a chance to meet again in the future, they could greet each other and not be like strangers. Otherwise, he would feel that the love he had given for the past four years was all in vain.

Zhang Qiran originally thought that they would meet again after he returned to his home country. However, unexpectedly, the next day in the afternoon, he bumped into Yan Hao on the street.

The two of them were caught off guard and met face to face, and for a moment, neither of them said anything.

This area was the largest commercial street in the city, with many upscale business hotels nearby. Many people came here to discuss business and would stay in this area. Zhang Qiran had intentionally kept himself busy the past few days and had forgotten about this matter. And based on Yan Hao’s usual assertiveness and decisiveness, he thought the other party had already finished discussing business and returned to their home country. However, he saw Yan Hao holding a paper bag, which seemed to contain food containers.

Since they had come face to face, Zhang Qiran couldn’t pretend not to recognize him. He approached and forced a smile, “What a coincidence?”

Yan Hao didn’t respond, he just kept looking at him.

Zhang Qiran never liked this kind of awkward silence. He reluctantly asked, “Are you on a business trip?”

“Yeah.” This time, Yan Hao finally responded a little, but he killed the conversation with an expressionless face.

Zhang Qiran didn’t mind. He thought it was fine. Their relationship wasn’t at the point where they could ask about each other’s current situation. But at least he had achieved his own expectations. He could face this person calmly and peacefully, instead of rushing up to punch him. He nodded to indicate his understanding and ended the topic, saying, “Well, I’ll be going then.”

Yan Hao remained silent for a while before responding with a simple “Mm.”

Shortly after Zhang Qiran left, Yan Hao’s phone rang. He turned his head to look at Zhang Qiran’s fading figure and casually answered the call.

It was his secretary on the other end of the line. From the urgency in her voice, it was clear that she was a little anxious. But she spoke respectfully, “Boss, the fitness equipment company is asking about the contract. It’s been two weeks already, and it would be better to give them a response on whether we agree to cooperate.”

The secretary didn’t know what had happened to Yan Hao this time. He used to be a boss who was strict and efficient. But this time, during his trip to the United States, it felt like he had changed completely. Not only did he stay in the foreign country for such a long time, but all the expenses for the business trip were also entirely covered by the other company. In the business field, there had been instances of asserting dominance over other companies in the past, but this time it seemed to be a bit excessive and had already caused some dissatisfaction on the other side.

But as a secretary, she naturally didn’t dare  have any objections to the boss’s actions. she responded with a “yes” and wrote down the tasks assigned by the boss one by one.

After hanging up the phone, Yan Hao stood on the street for a while. Although he had an Eastern appearance, he had a tall and outstanding figure, and his handsome face, coupled with his cold and imposing demeanor, made many women turn their heads to look at him.

However, he seemed completely oblivious to it and remained puzzled about his own actions.

He used the excuse of a business trip to come here and meet Zhong Qiran, but after actually meeting him, he didn’t know what he really wanted to do. It wasn’t the intention to win him back, but it seemed like he stayed just to see him. The impulsive decisions he made were all for Zhong Qiran. This wasn’t his usual style, and these conflicting feelings made him clearly aware that something was off with himself.

Yan Hao felt that this could be a breakthrough, but until he sorted things out, he had no intention of taking any action.

Three days later, he signed a contract with a fitness equipment company called FE, and then returned to his home country.

───

After that incident, Zhong Qiran never saw Yan Hao again. His life returned to normal, and his studies progressed smoothly. The weekly internship started from the basics, attending meetings with the market research team, and doing repetitive and monotonous work, such as conducting surveys.

He wasn’t the only one interning at this company; there were also students from other prestigious schools. However, there was only one person, like Zhong Qiran, who came from China, named Li Qi.

 Li Qi  a graduate student from a prestigious school in the neighboring town. 26 years, one year older than Zhong Qiran. His reasons for pursuing a postgraduate degree were similar to Zhong Qiran’s—they both worked for a few years before deciding to pursue further studies. However, Li Qi was somewhat special. He was a key talent cultivated by a well-known market research company in China, so his tuition fees were fully subsidized. After completing his studies and returning to China, not only would he be promoted to a high position, but his salary would also double. This was an opportunity that many people envied.

 

Perhaps due to their similar age and experiences, they quickly became familiar with each other. Zhong Qiran made his first friend there, and coincidentally, Li Qi was also in the same situation.

Li Qi originally had a boyfriend who was still in his junior year of college. When he heard that Li Qi was going abroad for postgraduate studies, he wanted to break up.

Two years is a long time for the current generation, long enough to wear down each other’s passion and make them unable to endure loneliness or resist temptation.

Li Qi said, “yeah he might love me, but even if he trusts me and believes that i will remain faithful, he will definitely be unable to resist doubting when I return to the country. It’s a common human trait—when you can’t see, it’s easy to have wild thoughts and be fearful.”

Zhong Qiran had never been in a long-distance relationship. After he got together with Yan Hao, they were almost inseparable. But he was very curious and asked, “Didn’t you try to save the relationship?”

Li Qi shook his head. “He is too young and impatient. In the end, I chose my career.”

 

Making decisions between love and career is inherently difficult.

Everyone faces relationship issues in different ways. It’s the individual’s decision, and Zhong Qiran couldn’t say much about it.

After Li Qi finished sharing his story, he asked Zhong Qiran in return, “And what about you?”

Zhong Qiran smiled bitterly. How should he put it? He could only say, “I am a divorced”

Li Qi, after hearing all the drama in Zhong Qiran’s relationship, had only two words to say, “Holy crap.” Then he added, “You’re living in a melodramatic TV series.”

Zhong Qiran could tell that Li Qi was intentionally lightening the mood, so he laughed along.

But Li Qi still didn’t understand. “Why would a mere memory loss lead to divorce? If the feelings are gone, why not try to rebuild them? And who knows, one day he might remember things about you. I find this whole thing very strange, no matter how I think about it.”

Zhong Qiran couldn’t help but find it strange too. Yan Hao was once his closest person, and even without speaking, Zhong Qiran could understand his every little gesture. So Yan Hao’s sudden change in attitude caught him off guard. It was as if overnight, his lover turned into a stranger. Even if there may have been factors from his parents influencing their separation, that wasn’t the main point.

Zhong Qiran said, “We’re not children anymore. We don’t get rewarded with candy just because we throw a tantrum. This isn’t just about me, so even if I tried to force it, it wouldn’t work.”

How many couples in this world are unwilling to break up, trying all sorts of methods to win back the other’s heart, only to end up with empty hands? Some even end up hating each other.

Love itself is unequal, unfair from the very beginning when one willingly gives their whole heart. After a breakup, the reality becomes even more terrifying.

Li Qi asked again, “But what if one day he remembers everything and comes chasing after you? Will you go back?”

Zhong Qiran countered, “If it were you, would you?”

Li Qi replied, “I don’t know. But I would definitely give him a beating.”

“Why?”

“Because whether I accept him or not, he made my heart break for nothing.”

Zhong Qiran couldn’t help but burst into laughter. He suddenly found Li Qi to be a really interesting person.