Living Up to You

Chapter 37

The heavy snow fell again in the middle of the night and fell down like cotton wool. After a while, the dark world was wrapped in white and appear to be bright. The window of the house that was already not warm enough was opened wide. Snowflakes drifted in and soon accumulated.

When the sun broke through the clouds, the snow floor was stained with red. The whole village seemed like the cheeks of shy girl; warm and quiet. A girl was asleep sitting on the couch and leaning on the bed rail. The thick long eyelashes covered the pale face. Her lips were pale and her breathing short.

When the man in black entered the room, his body was not stained with frost. When he saw that she was leaning against the bed rail only dressed in thin clothes, he frowned. He was at her side in a blink of an eye. He took her into his arms and the room immediately warmed up.

Ling Xi had a very long dream. In the dream, big brother had never left, eldest senior brother had never died and Nan Zhi had never become a devil. All that she loved and all the people who loved her were all ordinary people. They lived happily in a paradise-like village. She prayed in her dream repeatedly to never wake up again, but she still woke up.

When she woke up, her while body was warm. Warm lips covered her eyes. When she opened her eyes, she saw Nan Zhi’s deep eyes and stared at her scorchingly.

He said something to her, but she couldn’t hear it. She smiled and nestled in his arms.

When it was near noon, Mrs. Li warmly brought her child over to help shovel the snow. Ling Xi shoveled and suddenly it turned into a snowball fight with the child. The two happily chased after another with snowballs. The child’s nickname was Dong Gua (winter melon). She was lovable and cute and spoke in a childlike voice. Ling Xi liked her very much.

However, Dong Gua was playing happily, but Ling Xi couldn’t run anymore. She put her arms on her hips and smiled, “I’m going to cook. Not playing with you anymore.”

Dong Gua made a funny face at her. She grabbed a snowball and continued to throw it at Ling Xi. Mrs. Li casted her a glance of blame, “Niu er, stop.”

Ling Xi smiled and said that it was fine. She patted the snow from her body and entered the kitchen. Dong Gua also followed her.

It was rare for outsiders to be on the dining table. Nan Zhi was still expressionless and ate quietly. Ling Xi also felt helpless and had no choice but to find something to talk about with Mrs. Li.

“This year is really strange. I heard people say that it is something ominous when it snows for so long. I am afraid that the sky will change.” Mrs. Li stopped after only a few bites.

Ling Xi kept her smile and asked, “All the people say that?”

Mrs. Li sighed, “This year, it was either demons or monsters, causing people to be panic-stricken for a while. Didn’t they say that a few months ago a big devil had come out? it was the talk of town. In fact…”

Mrs. Li was speaking when she felt a -chilling to the bones- eyes swept over her. She felt like she was cut sharply by a blade. The rest of her words froze in her throat.

At this time, Dong Gua was bored from playing outside and flew into Ling Xi’s arms. She exclaimed, “Wow, the dishes that big sister Ling Xi made looks delicious.”

While she said that, she picked up the spoon on the table, scooped a spoonful of hibiscus tofu and put it in her mouth. Afterwards, winter melon’s face turned into a bitter gourd’s face, “Big sister Ling Xi, does your salt not cost money? So bitter…I want to drink water.”

Dong Gua slipped from Ling Xi’s legs.

Mrs. Li looked embarrassed at the two (LX&NZ). Ling Xi glanced at Nan Zhi. She saw that his expression didn’t change and he continued to eat. So, she also lowered her eyes and said nothing.

Time became slower under Ling Xi’s friction. She no longer slept the whole day and seldom went out. Occasionally, she would cook a meal or two. The heavy snow fell one after another. The light of the spring couldn’t be seen reappearing. The rattan chair in the backyard couldn’t be sit on anymore. Instead, Nan Zhi made a low couch for her by the window. Ling Xi often nested there and looked at the boundless snow.

She didn’t know if Nan Zhi had become aware of her abnormality. Perhaps, he didn’t have time to attend to her abnormality. After the night that he didn’t return, he became slightly different.

Occasionally, he would touch the corner of her eye. She would inadvertently dodge it. Occasionally, he would touch her cheek when she smiled. She smiled in front of the mirror and looked at the two faintly discernible dimples. He no longer stayed by her side every day all day long. She doesn’t remember how many times it had been that when she woke up, it was empty beside her.

Actually, she didn’t dare to sleep anymore, but Nan Zhi didn’t know. Sometimes, she would pretend to be asleep. Nan Zhi would think that she was really asleep and left quietly. She didn’t know where he was going, but she also didn’t want to open her eyes. The room with only one person was so cold and her heart felt empty. She was afraid that when she opens her eyes, the coldness would go into her heart and consign her to eternal damnation.

It was another afternoon. The sky cleared up after the snow. Occasionally, the wind would bring the fresh fragrance of snow water.

The two made paper lanterns together. Nan Zhi painted and Ling Xi would take bamboo branches to shape the lantern. Only the last step was left when her in front of her eyes suddenly dimmed. A bamboo stick pricked into her palm and she exclaimed in a low voice from pain.

Nan Zhi put down the brush and took her hand. Seeing her palm bleeding, he frowned. He swept over the bamboo branches on the floor. Those bamboo branches became ashes.

Ling Xi couldn’t see clearly and obediently let Nan Zhi use spells to heal her injury and took her to sit on the low couch.

“I will do it,” Nan Zhi said.

Ling Xi grabbed his hand, “I’m tired.”

Nan Zhi turned around and sat down. He carried her and put her on his lap. He gently stroked her long hair. Ling Xi closed her eyes halfway and stared at him.

Despite the veil and dim light in front of her eyes, she was able to outline his current appearance in her mind.

He was never someone of many words. His lips must be pressed tightly together and the corners of his lips was in a slight arc. His facial features were deep and he didn’t like to have any expression more than necessary. It must be cold as a stone sculpture without any temperature at this moment. However, when he faced her, there would always be an undetectable warmth on his face and the occasional fleeting smile. His black eyes were often as thick as ink which make people unable to see till the bottom of his eyes and not dare to look directly at him. However, when he stared at her, his eyes were clear and there were feelings hidden in his eyes.

Ling Xi stared at Nan Zhi for a long time and then laughed humorously. The slightly raised lips had been kissed; gentle and inseparable. There was no distinction between their lingering emotions. Gradually, it became overbearing like taking cities and seizing territories. Ling Xi’s cheeks were red because of the kiss and was almost unable to breath before they reluctantly separated.

Ling Xi closed her eyes and slowly calmed down her breathing. She asked softly and inadvertently, “Nan Zhi, they said that you were once a god?”

Nan Zhi was silent for a while before answering, “Mm.”

“Then, you have lived more than ten thousand years?”

“Mm.”

“Then, why didn’t you tell me when you were a Chinese rose?” Ling Xi pretended to be angry.

“At that time, I don’t know.” Nan Zhi was calm as ever.

Ling Xi laughed, “Last time you said that you couldn’t remember some things of ten thousand years ago. Now…have you remember them all?”

Nan Zhi was silent. Ling Xi put her arms around his neck, looked at him and feigned anger coquettishly, “Have you remembered?”

Nan Zhi’s eyes flickered and said, “Mm.”

“Then, is there anything interesting in those memories?”

Ling Xi eyes had returned to clearness and stared at him scorchingly as if she was afraid to miss any emotion in his eyes. She clearly saw the dim luster in his eyes and he avoided her gaze. Her heart sank and she stopped asking.

She closed her eyes for a long time. She asked faintly, “Then, why…did you like me?”

There was no response.

—

The first clear sky of March. The snow began to melt, but the weather became colder instead. Nan Zhi took out the thick fur coat that she had bought a few days ago and carefully put it on her.

Ling Xi smiled slightly. She let him brush her hair and tie her belt.

“I…,” Nan Zhi was stumped for words.

Ling Xi laughed, “Are you going out again?”

“Mm.”

“Alright.”

Perhaps, he didn’t expect Ling Xi to answer so quickly. A flash of surprise appeared on Nan Zhi’s face. Then, calmness quickly returned (to his face).

“Wait for me.” He pulled Ling Xi over and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

“Wait.” Seeing that he was about to turn his body, Ling Xi grabbed his hand and took something out of her purse of tail feather, “It was this thing that made you wake up in the past. I will be more at ease if you bring it with you.”

Nan Zhi’s mind blanked for a moment. He looked thoughtfully at Soul Attractor.

Ling Xi put the Soul Attractor in his hand. In the end, Nan Zhi took it, hugged her for a long kiss. He then turned and left.

Ling Xi stared for a long time at the place where the black figure had disappeared. She lowered her eyes, took out Bingling sword and left on the sword.

Those small ghost in the netherworld surprisingly still remembered Ling Xi. No one stopped her. instead, they very politely asked her to wait and went to notify the king of hell immediately.

Ling Xi stood on the Naihe bridge. The wrinkled madam Meng chuckled at her.

No wonder she was able to successfully enter the netherworld without being discovered last time. No wonder Madam Meng was surprised that she looked unfamiliar. It turned out that she was not an ordinary living soul and she had never stepped on the Naihe bridge or had drunk Madam Meng’s soup before.

The flowers at the shore still bloomed like fire and the river still flowed silently.

The moment Ming Sheng saw Ling Xi, his small face brightened and he laughed, “Little Xi, did you miss me?”

Ling Xi forced a smile, “Ling Xi has something to ask your highness the king of hell and wonder if your highness could spare me some time.”

Ming Sheng patted his chest, “Why be so polite with me?! What I have is time! What do you want to ask? Not hiding anything I know and not stopping before I said all!”

Ming Sheng gave the little ghosts a meaningful glance. The ghost-guards on the Naihe bridge immediately understood and retreated silently. The hour for the living souls to arrive had passed. Madam Meng laughed shadily and left.

Ling Xi didn’t notice this and asked directly, “Do you know Nan Zhi?”

Ming Sheng’s expression immediately changed. His expression turned very long and asked unhappily, “How do you know him?”

The moment he asked that, he slapped his forehead, “Oh, my useless head. Some time ago, it was said that the devil king had come back to live. A devil even came to cause trouble in my netherworld! Ling Xi, is it that he went to find you?”

Ling Xi didn’t answer his question and asked instead, “Then, do you know Chen Xi?”

When she spoke the two words “Chen Xi”, Ling Xi’s voice subconsciously brought obscurity and she unnaturally avoided his gaze to prevent Ming Sheng from seeing her feelings.

“Little Xi…” Ming Sheng hesitated a bit and said hesitantly, “Forgetting those past events is also a good thing.”

“You are so good to me is because of the fact that I and Chen Xi look exactly the same, right?” Ling Xi suddenly looked at him sideways and her eyes was calm as water, “You thought I was her.”

Ming Sheng froze for a moment, “You…”

He didn’t know how to respond. After some thought, he said, “Little Xi, in fact, you are her!”

Ling Xi refused to say anything. After a moment of silence, she said, “Your highness, can you tell me about Chen Xi’s past?”

Ming Sheng sighed, “I just said, little Xi, forgetting the past events is also a good thing.”

“But I want to know,” Ling Xi frowned slightly and said firmly.

Maturity appeared on Ming Sheng’s childish face. He sighed helplessly, “If you want to know, I will naturally tell you what I know. However, little Xi, can you stay far away from that Nan Zhi?”

Ling Xi just looked down at the quietly flowing River of Forgetfulness. She didn’t answer him.

Ming Sheng sighed again. He slowly began to speak. Ling Xi’s fingertips gradually became cold until the coldness reached the bottom of her heart.

It turned out that Chen Xi was neither a human nor an immortal. She was a demon.

She was a flower demon. A jacaranda demon. Ming Sheng got acquainted with her thirteen thousand years ago. At that time, Chen Xi had just cultivated a human body. The two concealed their identities and spent a period of time in the mortal realm. Ming Sheng was captured and brought back by the previous king of hell. Two thousand years later, Chen Xi got to know Nan Zhi who was still a mortal at that time.

Nan Zhi was a mortal, Chen Xi kept him company.

Nan Zhi cultivated into an immortal, Chen Xi stayed by his side.

Nan Zhi became a god, Chen Xi accompanied him.

From the beginning to the end, it was a thousand years. It was rumored in the six realms that a high-tiered god of the god realm had fallen in love with a demoness and brought that demoness without permission to the god realm. A golden house to keep one’s lover.

- A golden house to keep one’s lover: a magnificent house built for one’s beloved woman. This saying is used to express when someone keeps their mistress hidden in his house.

“Later, I don’t know whether it was because of Nan Zhi’s identity or because his and Chen Xi’s love, Nan Zhi was imprisoned. It was said that they wanted to scrap him from the book of record for gods, seal his godly power and imprison him for life .” Ming Sheng spoke the truth, “Little Xi was someone who values friendships and relationship. How could she watch the person she loves being imprisoned? She went one a single spear and horse to the god realm to fight for that person.”

- A single spear and horse: single-handed

“However, little Xi is a demon after all and only had three to four thousand years of cultivation. How could she win from a group of gods?” Ming Sheng said with regret, “I hated that I was ignorant about the affairs of the god realm at that time, otherwise, little Xi wouldn’t have ended with her soul dispersed and scattered.”

- Soul dispersed and scatters: wiped from existence.

“Nan Zhi got to know about little Xi’s dead and was furious. I don’t know what kind of freak he was. His spiritual energy seemed to be bottomless and unfathomable. Under rage, all that hidden spiritual energy burst. He summoned all the devilish power of the six realms and sealed the whole god realm. Ten thousand years has passed since then. Presumably, those gods are still having an eternal rest in the god realm. Little Xi…he used all his spiritual power only to gather a ray of her soul. In order to prevent this ray of soul from disappearing, he used the Eastern Sea’s Soul-Suppressing stone to suppress it. He himself was depleted of spiritual power and went into an eternal rest at the bottom of Cangjia Mountain.

Ling Xi listened until he finished. Her eyes were empty and she stared blankly at the surface of the River of Forgetfulness. No one knew what she was thinking about. There was no color nor expression on her face.

“This is what I know. It had been ten thousand years since then. Presumably, there are only few that still know about this. Perhaps, only the dragon clan at the Eastern Sea could somewhat remember it, but they wouldn’t mention it to outsiders. Little Xi, if it wasn’t because you asked me, I will also not say anything.” Ming Sheng looked like a child and had a cute soft voice. However, he was extremely serious when talking about serious matters.

Ling Xi lowered her eyes and said faintly, “Your highness made a mistake. I’m not little Xi.”

Ming Sheng was dumbfounded and laughed, “You only reincarnated and don’t remember.”

“How can a broken soul reincarnate?” Ling Xi smiled softly.

Ming Sheng was dumbfounded again. He hadn’t thought so much. Ling Xi looked the same as Chen Xi. They were obviously the same person! Besides, even a freak like Nan Zhi existed in the six realms. Perhaps some miracle also happened to little Xi! Moreover, Ling Xi also clearly lacked a part of her soul…Last time when she came to get the Soul-Locking water, wasn’t it to supplement her soul?

“Aiya, if you don’t believe me, I will bring out Chen Xi’s memories. You will understand when you see what she looked like!” Ming Sheng patted Ling Xi’s shoulder. He didn’t wait for her answer when he darted into the River of Forgetfulness.

When he came out, the Soul-Locking water is in his hand.

“Chen Xi…” He floated on the river and gently called at the Soul-Locking water.

White apertures floated up from the river and drifted into the Soul-Locking water.

“See, now look at it yourself!” Ming Sheng handed the Soul-Locking water to Ling Xi.

Ling Xi didn’t look at it, “Since Chen Xi died with her soul dispersed and scattered, naturally, she wouldn’t have crossed the Naihe bridge and drank Madam Meng’s soup. How can the memory of the lifetime where she was Chen Xi be at the bottom of the River of Forgetfulness?”

When Ming Sheng heard that, he fiercely slapped his forehead again and said, “Then, look at her previous lifetime and the lifetime before that. See if she looked like you.”

Ling Xi shook her head and said, “There is only one question in Ling Xi’s heart. I don’t know whether your highness can answer it.”

“Aiya, I already said that you don’t have to be so polite. What do you want to ask?”

“When using the Soul-Locking water, is it necessary to use the name of that lifetime of the soul to call out the memory or can the name of any lifetime be used?”

“Naturally, the name of any lifetime can be used. The Soul-Locking water is spiritual and can judge which soul’s memories you want.”

Ling Xi was silent.

Ming Sheng was curious, “Why do you ask that?”

Ling Xi quietly took the Soul-Locking water from him and dispersed Chen Xi’s memories. She waited until the white apertures fell into the river again before calling in a low voice, “Ling Xi.”

Sure enough, the River of Forgetfulness flowed silently like last time. No memory floated out.

Ming Sheng was surprised and took over the Soul-Locking water in disbelief. He called again.

It was the same.

“You…” Ming Sheng was still unable to stop himself from being surprised. “Are truly not little Xi. And…you have never drunken the water from the River of Forgetfulness.”

“Thank you for telling me these.” Ling Xi turned and smiled, “I hope that you didn’t get angry that I had been pretending to be little Xi.”

Ming Sheng’s heart felt a pain inexplicably. Ling Xi’s smile was like a remnant of a crumbling flower after the summer rain that stayed stubbornly on the flower branch and wanted to bloom the last time to show its beauty.

“Ling Xi will bid her goodbye first. If there is a chance, I will certainly tell Chen Xi your highness’s king feelings.” After Ling Xi paid her gratitude, she immediately turned and left.

Ming Sheng stared blankly at her leaving back that pretended to be strong. He felt that he had overlooked something, but his mind was chaotic at this moment and he couldn’t rearrange his thoughts.

When Ling Xi came out of the netherworld, she got on her sword and moved quickly. It was as if only if she exhausted all her body’s energy, she would be able to let out the sour feelings in her heart. However, when she was exhausted and felt powerless, she stood in the dark night without knowing where to go.

Even she didn’t know for what reason she went to the netherworld today.

She had to admit that the illusion of two years ago, the illusion that high-tiered deity Donghua gave her appeared frequently in her dreams recently.

Once, Nan Zhi left her because of that illusion. She had regretted more than once, hated herself for being confused by the illusion and losing her mind. Although, the speeches in the illusion were so familiar and although, there were some things in the illusion that high-tiered deity Donghua couldn’t know about, but Nan Zhi had died because of it. She had never doubted that it was just an illusion made by high-tiered deity Donghua to use her to deal with Nan Zhi.

At that time, she ridiculed about how Nan Zhi could be a deity and a devil? How could one of her immortal part and four of her mortal parts be scattered by master? How can Chen Xi look exactly the same as her?

Now, she began to wonder whether that was just an illusion or…a prophecy.

Nan Zhi was really the devil. One of her immortal part and four mortal parts had truly been taken out and her body was truly weakening. Although, the course of events was different from the illusion, but the ending was exactly the same as the one she had seen in the play; different routes to the same destination.

Perhaps, she went to the netherworld this time just to confirm her presumption.

That time she asked Nan Zhi, “Why do…you like me?”

A voice quietly answered in her heart, “Because I and the woman he loves deeply looks exactly the same.”

She and the woman he loves deeply looks exactly the same.

That also turned out to be true.

Her soul had been dispersed and scattered because of him. He fell into the devilish ways because of her and went into an eternal rest at Cangjia. He and she loved each other through a lifetime and protected each other for a millennium. She was Chen Xi, not Ling Xi.