Lord, Your Immortal Plant has Slipped Away Again

What?!

Ye Zi wanted to cry but had no tears.

It was just a random excuse, but who knew that Great Princess Rui would be this concerned? It was only the next day and she had already found a doctor. 

If the doctor were to give a diagnosis, wouldn’t everything be over?

Gu Yan was about to follow the housekeeper towards the central room when Ye Zi went forward and pulled his sleeve, whispering: “What…..what should we do?”

Gu Yan glanced back at him, revealing a helpless look of ‘who told you to talk nonsense yesterday?’

Ye Zi was so anxious that he lost propriety and said haphazardly: “Should I pretend to faint? Should I toss that person out? I…..I’m going to risk it. Anyway, I must not let the doctor treat you.”

Gu Yan laughed helplessly. He grabbed his hand and patted it soothingly: “Alright, don’t worry.” 

“Let’s just take a step and see what happens.”

Inside the central room, an old man with a white beard and white eyebrows was sipping tea leisurely, and beside him was a fifteen or sixteen-year-old medicine boy sitting upright with a medicine box on his back. The old man and Great Princess Rui were chatting about something when the housekeeper led Gu Yan and Ye Zi into the room.

The old man and the little medicine boy got up and bowed to Gu Yan. Upon seeing Gu Yan, Great Princess Rui asked: “Where have you been? You didn’t even bring a servant with you, I couldn’t even find you.”  

Before Gu Yan could answer, Ye Zi cut him off: “Mother, don’t blame him. I asked His Majesty to accompany me for a stroll. It was my first time there so everything looked new to me, that’s why……we stayed out for a long time.”

Great Princess Rui’s expression eased a bit. She didn’t say anything else as she pointed to the old man beside her: “This Doctor Jia is someone I found, let him take a look at you.”

The old man’s gaze fell on Gu Yan. He stroked his beard and said in a thick and crisp voice, “Your Majesty, this old man has been practicing medicine for many years, specializing in treating this type of unmentionable Yang deficiency illness. No matter what the cause, I can guarantee that I will be able to cure you.”

Ye Zi clenched his hands tightly under his sleeves and said in a low voice, “T-There’s n-no need…..”

“What do you mean?” Great Princess Rui glanced at him before saying in a gentle voice, “I understand, you youngsters are trying to save your dignity. Don’t worry, Doctor Jia will keep what happened today at Prince Rui’s Manor a secret. Yan’er, cooperate with the doctor well. Whatever he says you should do, do it.” 

Gu Yan said: “Yes.”

It was inconvenient for Great Princess Rui to watch the diagnosis and treatment process so Gu Yan led the doctor into the room before letting him take his pulse. Ye Zi anxiously glanced at the old housekeeper who was following behind him: “Doctor Jia, how should this be treated?”

Doctor Jia paused and smiled as he stroked his beard: “The causes of this disease are different so the cures are also different. Some people suffer from deficiencies in their qi and blood which causes their kidneys to weaken, leading to a loss of Yang energy. Thus, it is necessary to prescribe the right medicine and food to help nourish the body.”

Ye Zi slightly relieved: “That’s……fine I guess.”

“But……” Jia Daifu clasped Gu Yan’s pulse with one hand and said leisurely, “This is not the case with the Prince. His Majesty’s pulse is calm and there is no sign of Yang deficiency.”

Ye Zi’s heart suddenly dropped.

Ye Zi asked: “……What might be the reason for that?”

Doctor Jia responded unhurriedly: “Princess Consort, don’t worry. This kind of situation may also be caused by blood blockage or retrograde essence. This old man has a secret method handed down from my ancestors. This type of massage and acupuncture are all tried and true.”

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“Acupuncture? ” Ye Zi was full of horror, “On……on that place?”

“Precisely.”

As Doctor Jia said this, he signaled the medicine boy to open the medicine box and took out a package made of cowhide.

Once the cloth bag was unfolded, a row of sharp and slender silver needles of different thicknesses appeared brightly.

Ye Zi felt his legs go limp.

If that place were to be pierced, even a perfectly normal functioning one would become dysfunctional. 

He subconsciously looked at Gu Yan, who lowered his eyes and remained silent. He had no idea what was going on in his head. Doctor Jia continued: “Princess Consort, please wait outside the room. After this old man performs the acupuncture, I promise I will return you with a lively Prince.” 

Ye Zi jumped in front of Gu Yan and shook his head repeatedly: “No, no, absolutely not.”

Doctor Jia froze before he laughed: “Your Highness shouldn’t refuse a doctor’s order. If he is cured, that is a good thing for you too, no?” 

Good my ass!

A perfectly normal one would become dysfunctional if you treat him. 

The housekeeper also advised: “Yes, Your Highness, don’t you also want the Prince to get well as soon as possible?”

Ye Zi was so anxious that he said whatever came to mind: “No! I like him just like this! I won’t like him if he gets better!”

“……”

Ye Zi’s struggle didn’t help in the end. The housekeeper grabbed him by the collar and carried him out the door. The door of the room was slowly closed in front of Ye Zi, and he couldn’t help feeling a sense of tragedy in his heart.

A perfectly normal Prince Rui was going to turn into a wastrel just because of his stupid excuse. 

It was over.

It was all over.

Not even an incense stick time had passed when the door reopened and the old man stepped out of the room. 

Ye Zi didn’t care about him and hurried into the room. When he stepped through the door, he could vaguely hear the old man telling the housekeeper to prepare light diets for the next few days.

There was a faint warm fragrance burning in the room. Ye Zi entered the inner room and saw the person lying behind the bed curtain at a glance.

He lifted the curtain and reached for Gu Yan’s body.

Gu Yan grabbed his wrist: “What are you doing?!”

Ye Zi’s eyes were slightly red: “I……let me take a look.” 

Gu Yan: “……”

Ye Zi said softly: “Your Majesty, I really didn’t expect it to turn out like this……All the mistakes today are my fault, if you’ve become a wastrel, I will serve you like a cow and a horse for the rest of your life.”

Gu Yan was silent for a while and asked: “Do you really want to take a look?”

Ye Zi was originally a little embarrassed, but when he thought that Gu Yan had suffered so much for him, that little shame was nothing at all. He nodded his head.

Gu Yan let go of his hand.

Ye Zi took a deep breath and loosened Gu Yan’s underpants.

After just one look, Ye Zi instantly went red from his ears to his neck. He hastily retracted his hand, but his fingertips accidentally touched the hot……

Gu Yan hissed and gritted his teeth: “You really want me to become impotent?” 

Ye Zi’s cheeks burned. He didn’t dare to look at him and asked in a daze, “You……You can still use it?”

Gu Yan fixed his underpants and glared at him: “Would you like to try?”

“N-No thanks.” Ye Zi shook his head repeatedly.

It was huge……If he were to try it, it would definitely kill him. 

Ye Zi retreated behind the screen divider. He took a few deep breaths to clear his head before asking: “He didn’t give you acupuncture?”

Gu Yan got out of bed and looked askance at him: “Who do you think he is?”

“Who is he?”

While the two were talking, Doctor Jia sent the housekeeper away and returned to the room. Closing the door, he bowed toward Gu Yan: “Your Majesty, all arrangements have been made.”

When he spoke again, his voice had become clear and young.

Ye Zi’s eyes widened: “Pei Ge?”

Pei Ge smiled: “It is this commoner.”

“And me, and me.” The little medicine boy poked her head out from behind him, it was Pei Wan’er’s voice. Pei Wan’er said proudly to Pei Ge: “See, my disguise wasn’t bad, right? Even the Princess Consort couldn’t see through it.”  

Pei Ge stopped her, “Wan’er, don’t fool around.”

Gu Yan said: “Thank you so much for this, I will have someone send the two of you back.” 

“No need, it’s just a small matter, we can go back on our own.”

Gu Yan didn’t say anymore as Pei Ge left the manor with Pei Wan’er.

After leaving the Prince’s manor, Pei Wan’er hugged Pei Ge’s neck affectionately, wondering: “Brother, why do you think the Prince told such a lie, they are obviously married…….”

“Wan’er,” Pei Ge interrupted her, “There are some things that should not be delved into, otherwise you’ll get into trouble.”

Pei Wan’er pouted, “What about you? I saw you give the housekeeper a prescription just now, I don’t think that was what the Prince had ordered.” She paused and laughed lightly: “……Don’t think I don’t know what that thing is for.”

Pei Ge cast her a glance: “You little brat, you sure know a lot.” 

“Brother, why exactly?”

“Don’t ask anymore.” The two walked towards the direction of the medical clinic and Pei Ge said softly, “If this thing works out, the Prince will have to come and thank us.”

The little gray sparrow woke up on a soft, warm cushion. Its lively eyes turned and just as it wanted to fly, it felt a sharp pain from its right wing.

“Don’t move.” A hand landed on its head and gently stroked it, “You have a broken wing.”

The little gray sparrow tilted its head up and saw the last pair of eyes it saw before it lost consciousness.

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Was he the one who saved it?

Its wing was held in place by a small bamboo piece and was treated with medicine, and wrapped in a layer of soft silk cloth. The pain in its wing became clearer and clearer as it gradually regained its consciousness.

The little gray sparrow whimpered in sorrow. Its eyes were filled with watery mist as it rubbed its head against Gu Xuan’s finger: “It hurts……”

Gu Xuan held it in the palm of his hand and held it up in front of him. He still had an indifferent expression and although he couldn’t understand what the little bird was chirping, he instinctively felt that it should be crying out in pain.

Gu Xuan reached out and stroked the little gray sparrow’s feathers. After examining it for a while, he asked, “Are you the sparrow that has been wandering outside my bedchamber recently?”

The little gray sparrow looked at him with confused eyes, quietly playing dumb.

Since Gu Xuan didn’t get a response, he sighed and put it back on the soft cushion. On the cushion, there was a delicate small dish with some millet and rice and finely minced meat.

The little gray sparrow was hungry and immediately pecked at it.

Gu Yan lightly said: “Fill your stomach, after a while, you can leave.” 

The little gray sparrow looked up at him and called out to him pitifully.

Gu Yan got up and walked to the table: “It’s no use acting spoiled, I won’t take you in.”

“Why is it like this……” The little gray sparrow whimpered. It couldn’t win against its hunger and ate the food in the small dish tastelessly.

When the little gray sparrow swallowed the last bite of food, Gu Xuan was already sitting down in front of a side desk and reading a book seriously. The little gray sparrow jumped off the cushion and flew in his direction with its uninjured wing.

The broken wing couldn’t move so it couldn’t keep its balance. The little gray sparrow swayed and nearly rolled off the table.

With sharp eyes and quick hands, Gu Xuan managed to catch it.

Gu Xuan placed the little sparrow on the desk: “Finished eating? I’ll ask someone to take you out. Someone come.”

A young eunuch quickly ran in and Gu Yan ordered: “Send this bird out of the palace and give it a nest.”

The young eunuch answered and came forward to catch the little gray sparrow.

The little gray sparrow avoided the eunuch’s hand. It jumped on the desk, jumped into Gu Xuan’s hand, and rubbed its head against him: “Don’t drive me away.”

“You……”

When the eunuch saw this, he smiled: “Your Third Imperial Majesty, this little bird seems to like you very much. You worked so hard to bring it back, and personally cleaned and bandaged it, what a pity to send it away like this.” 

Gu Xuan glanced at him and lowered his gaze back to the little gray sparrow: “Do you want to stay with me?”

“Yes!” Fearing that he might not understand, the little gray sparrow rubbed his fingers more eagerly and tried to hug his hand with its unbroken wing. 

Looking at its clumsy movements, Gu Xuan pursed his lips slightly, showing a little smile: “From now on, you can live here.”

********

The author has something to say:

Ye Zi: It was huge……If I were to try it, it would definitely kill me. 

……..How fresh[1].

Gu Xuan: I won’t take in a bird. In this life, I will not raise a bird.

……..How fresh.

Take a guess, what good stuff do you think Doctor Pei left for the little Prince [smile gradually becomes obscene]

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[1] How fresh: Direct translation is “Taste Good,” it is an internet slang that is used to describe someone doing something that he or she had previously sworn they would never do.