Lord, Your Immortal Plant has Slipped Away Again

The day turned dark. Gu Yan pushed open the door to his room and the little green plant was lying motionless in the flower pot, looking obedient and quiet.

In the afternoon, Ye Zi didn’t even have time to run back to the courtyard where Gu Yan lived when he turned back to a little green plant, falling to the ground into a pile of clothes. He and the little gray sparrow used all their strength to drag those clothes back and hid them behind the rockery in the courtyard before exhausting themselves as he buried himself back in the flower pot. 

His second escape plan ended in failure when he accidentally turned back into his original form.

When Ye Zi woke up after a good night’s sleep, he saw Gu Yan’s enlarged face in front of his eyes.

Gu Yan placed his flower pot on the edge of the table. He looked at him whilst supporting his chin as his fingers still stroked his leaves without a hitch. Due to their close distance, Ye Zi could even feel Gu Yan’s shallow breath hitting his body and he couldn’t help but shirk back.

With the morning’s events, Ye Zi always felt that Gu Yan looked at him a little strangely. At this time, even after turning back to a plant, that strange feeling did not subside.

Fortunately, he was now a plant, otherwise, Gu Yan would have seen his cheeks redden once again.

Noticing that the leaf that had been meekly stretched out and stroked by him suddenly retracted and curled up vainly, Gu Yan’s mouth curved: “Awake?”

Ye Zi closed his eyes and played dead, not moving a muscle.

Gu Yan liked to talk to himself all year round and no one paid attention to it. He could talk for several hours: whether it was about who quarreled with whom in the morning court today, or what strange and unusual things have been going around recently. If he was in a good mood, he would bring popular books from the capital and read them aloud in front of him, which caused the servants in the manor to think that Gu Yan was hiding someone in the room several times.

Who would have thought that Prince Rui, who had a cool exterior, would be a talkative and sharp guy who loved to talk to himself?

Ye Zi curled up his leaves and ignored him. Gu Yan also didn’t mind. He casually took out a fruit from the fruit plate at hand and slowly and methodically took a bite.

The aroma of sweet fruit pulp immediately filled the room.

It was the same kind of fruit that Ye Zi ate in the central room this morning. 

Gu Yan said: “The taste of this fruit is good. It’s fragrant and soft, sweet but not greasy. Sadly, this fruit is a tribute from the West and only comes once a year. After it is sent to the palace, it is then given to concubines, high-ranking Princes, and ministers by His Holiness. The Prince Rui Manor didn’t receive much and there is only this one plate left.”

Ye Zi swallowed his saliva.

Gu Yan slowly finished eating one and picked up another: “Actually, this Prince isn’t interested in this fruit, but if I don’t eat it, it will go bad so I can only begrudgingly finish it.”

The air was full of the sweet and seductive aroma of the fruit, competing to be the first to drill into Ye Zi’s branches and leaves. Ye Zi ruthlessly hid his flower bud in the leaves, pretending that he couldn’t smell them.

Gu Yan smiled and deliberately continued: “Speaking of which, I met a little guy in the morning who seemed to like it. Unfortunately, I don’t know where he ran off to. If he were here, I would be happy to reward him with all these.”

……Really?

Ye Zi peeked out from the middle of his leaves and hungrily watched as Gu Yan ate another one.

The sweet scent was like a small feather, repeatedly teasing the softest point on the tip of Ye Zi’s heart, making him dizzy and itchy.

Being able to watch but not being able to eat. 

The most terrible penal code in this world couldn’t even compare.

Gu Yan leisurely glanced at him and Ye Zi immediately shrunk back into the leaves.

No, he couldn’t be this weak.

It was just a fruit, what was so delicious about it anyway?  

Where was your pride, Ye Zi?

Gu Yan might really not be interested in this fruit. After he ate three or four in a row, he then stopped moving. The aroma of the fruit dissipated a bit and Ye Zi let out a sigh of relief.

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Hmph, once you go to sleep, these fruits will all be mine.

Ye Zi thought with a puff of anger. Not long after, a servant girl knocked on the door.

“Your Majesty, the medicinal soup you ordered is ready.” The servant girl placed a small basket on the table, uncovered the lid, and a strong fishy and bitter smell greeted him. Inside was a large bowl of clear yellow soup, still steaming hot.

Gu Yan took a look as usual and said, “Good, you may leave.”

The servant girl answered, closed the door, and left.

Gu Yan placed the bowl of medicinal soup next to Ye Zi and the bitter smell rushed straight into Ye Zi’s nasal cavity. It was so disgusting that he couldn’t help but move back a little.

This guy wasn’t going to pour this on him, right?

Gu Yan tested the temperature of the medicinal soup and said to himself: “It seems to be slightly hot, let’s wait for it to cool. This is the secret recipe I heard today and I increased the original dosage by ten times. It was boiled over a high fire and several kinds of flower fertilizers were also added to it.”  

“The flower fertilizers were specially bought from a farmer’s house outside the city. It’s a proper farm fertilizer, saying that it will make the flowers and plants grow better.”

Ye Zi shivered.

Proper farmhouse fertilizer….This time of year, weren’t fertilizers used on farms——

So Gu Yan basically sent someone to dig up someone’s toilet?!

Gu Yan came close to Ye Zi and said in a warm voice: “……Try it, if the effect is good, I will water you with this every day.”

……You want to water me with this every day? ?

Ye Zi was full of panic and his whole body wilted. 

Gu Yan was deceived by some unscrupulous profiteer. With such a bowl of medicinal soup, even a plant that had gained its human form would die from it!  

No, he had to think of a way.

Gu Yan naturally wouldn’t really pour those messy things on Ye Zi. He just wanted to force this guy to show his real form. After he finished speaking, he no longer paid attention to the shivering little green plant. He took a book from the table to read and waited patiently. 

After he finished reading a book, Ye Zi still made no movements. 

Very well.

Don’t blame me for this.

Gu Yan put the book back to its original position and was about to pick up the cold medicinal soup when there was suddenly some movement outside the door again. Gu Yan’s expression paused. He got up and went out the door.

The door was ajar and Ye Zi looked out to make sure that Gu Yan didn’t notice him. He quietly stretched out two stems and slowly hooked them onto the edge of the porcelain bowl.

In the courtyard, a black shadow kneeled down in front of Gu Yan.

Gu Yan stood with his hands behind his back and asked, “How is the situation?”

The man said: “As your Majesty had predicted, the Northern Barbarians really intend to seek peace and the war has stabilized for the time being. I heard that at the Empress Dowager’s birthday banquet, the Northern Barbarians’ Imperial Prince, Jia Xiedan, will come to Chang’an to celebrate her birthday. On the surface, he has come to celebrate her birthday, but in reality, they want to form an alliance with marriage.” 

Gu Yan was not surprised and simply snorted: “Emperor Jinghe has only one daughter, can’t believe he’s that willing.”

Gu Yan paused and instructed, “Let the ones over there take a rest, no need to keep an eye on them for now. Once the marriage alliance goes well, nothing will go wrong for a long time.”

“Yes.”

The man in black answered but did not move.

Gu Yan asked, “Anything else?”

“The Third Imperial Prince seems to be very close to several Princes and Marquises recently.”

“I can see that.”

The man in black hesitated for a moment before adding, “His Holiness’s body isn’t faring too well. From the news we got about the palace, it doesn’t……it doesn’t seem very optimistic.”

Gu Yan smiled: “So what.”

“Master, you……really don’t intend to make a move?”

“What can I do if I make a move?” Gu Yan said, “Each person has their own destiny. Whoever it belongs to, it will belong to them. Isn’t it more interesting watching them in a dog-eat-dog situation? I have no intention of getting involved.”

The man in black whispered, “The Third Imperial Prince has been enlisting the people’s support lately, this humble servant is worried that if it really works out the way he wants, the next target he will deal with will be you.”

“There is no need to worry.” Gu Yan gazed into the distance, as if he was looking through the sunken clouds and into the distant past, “Not to mention that the Crown Prince’s lineage has yet to be manipulated to such an extent, do you really think Emperor Jinghe, that old thing, really doesn’t know anything?”

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The man in black seemed to want to say something else and Gu Yan’s face sank: “Si Wei, you have said too much today.”

“I will take any punishment, master.”

Gu Yan shook his head and was about to speak when a sound of broken porcelain suddenly came from inside the room. He paused and Si Wei had already darted in front of him, looking warily at the ajar door: “Master, be careful.”

Gu Yan: “……”

“About that, Si Wei.” Gu Yan coughed lightly, “I’m fine here, you can go.”

“But master——”

Gu Yan interrupted him, “It’s really fine, you can go back first.”

Si Wei reluctantly left. Gu Yan helplessly sighed and went back into the room.

Pushing open the door, the bowl of medicinal soup originally placed on the table had fallen to the ground. The porcelain bowl was shattered and the soup spilled all over the floor, filling the room with an inexplicable smell.

The small green plant was standing in the center of the flower pot, leisurely stretching its branches and leaves with a look of indifference.

However, Gu Yan could see some smugness from its appearance. 

……This little scoundrel.

The smell in the room was really terrible, making it temporarily impossible to stay in. Gu Yan found a servant girl to clean up the room as he held the little green plant and went to find a side courtyard to stay in temporarily for the night.

The night passed without incident, but the next morning, Gu Yan did not get up from bed.

Gu Yan had fallen ill.

Ye Zi’s flower pot was moved to the courtyard. There were people coming and going so he couldn’t visit to see Gu Yan’s condition. From the maids, he learned that the courtyard had not been inhabited for a long time since the cold air was too heavy. As a result, Gu Yan suffered from the cold last night and got a high fever today.

Ye Zi felt guilty.

If he had not spilled the medicinal soup last night, Gu Yan would not have been forced to move here.

Who knew that this sick child was so precious and could become so sick in just one night?

When no one was paying attention, Ye Zi quietly climbed out of the flower pot and slipped into the room from the window edge. Ye Zi stretched out his stem and climbed up the beam in two to three steps, and looked into the inner room.

Gu Yan was lying on the bed and he was unable to see his face. The maidservants in the room surrounded him in a circle and a man dressed as a doctor was treating him.

That man looked like he was only thirty years old. He wore a broad ink-colored robe and his long hair was casually tied with a misty green hair tie, making him outstandingly handsome.

He took Gu Yan’s pulse for a while and spoke softly: “Your Majesty, it’s only the case of the occasional cold, you will be fine after taking two pills. However, this is an illness that has developed over the years. Ordinary medicine can only treat the symptoms, but it is extremely difficult to cure the root cause.”

Gu Yan coughed twice and asked in a hoarse voice: “So how do you cure the root cause?”

The doctor said, “I heard that you have raised an immortal plant. I have seen that small herb, it is a rare spiritual herb that can expel poison and cure all diseases.”

Ye Zi shivered, instinctively feeling that something was wrong.

“……Just slice that small herb and add it to the medicine. After you drink a bowl, I can guarantee that the medicine will get rid of the illness.”

Ye Zi: “……”

********

The author has something to say:

Ye Zi: Mom, there’s someone here who wants to slice me up and eat me qaq

Gu Yan: We can ignore the slicing, but eating is still a must 

Another day of bullying the immortal plant.