Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

A liquid sloshed as Jin Xian climbed out of the coffin behind him. She walked over and stood quietly at Hui’s shoulder. Hui glanced at her, then nodded, welcoming her back.

Fa Chuyou put a hand to her chest. Her eyes burned with an honest, if hungry, light. “Don’t worry, Xie Hao. I understand. I won’t get between you and your beloved. I’m quite happy with—”

Hui lifted his hand before Fa Chuyou could say any more. He took a deep breath and looked her in the eye. With all his heart, he said, “Fa Chuyou, you should treasure yourself more. Find someone who can hold you, and only you, in their heart!”

Fa Chuyou’s eyes widened. She took a step back, a hand to her mouth. “Xie Hao… I… you’re right!”

Over her shoulder, Bai Xue clicked his tongue, disappointed.

Hui shot Bai Xue a glare. Fa Chuyou, don’t say such dangerous things in front of Bai Xue! You’ll rope us both into something… something… unvirtuous!

“At least you were watching, so you could come and fix it,” Fa Chuyou sighed. She glanced at Jin Xian. “I was annoyed that you’d watch me a second time, but now I see you were right.”

Ah! She noticed!

…Well, to be fair, she noticed when I was a soul. Of course she’d notice something as obvious as my mental energy in a ghoul.

“Oh? Xie Hao likes watching girls secretly? Xie Hao, what a voyeur,” Bai Xue said, grinning.

Hui narrowed his eyes at Bai Xue.

“Eh? What’s all this noise?” Xixing asked. She stomped around the corner, dragging the head of a huge cicadia corpse, her hands stained with purple blood. Her hair matched the amethyst blood on her hands. At the sight of Hui and Bai Xue, she reached toward a pouch dangling from her belt. “Oh right, your pills. Here.”

A cloth pouch landed in Hui’s hands. He peeked inside. A half-dozen chalky purple pills coated in a shiny shellac bumped about inside.

“They’ll strengthen your body and reinforce your natural healing ability. I can’t guarantee you’ll be able to pass the fifth-stage tribulation with those pills, but they’ll go a long way toward helping you,” Xixing said.

“Thank you, Elder Sister!” Hui said. He carefully tucked the pills into his storage ring, treating them like a valuable treasure.

Bai Xue held his hands out.

Xixing scowled. “Where’s the spirit stones?”

“You gave the pills to Hui,” Bai Xue pouted.

“As I promised. And as I promised, I’ll give you a discount. So… spirit stones?” Xixing held out her hand and gestured at him, making a grabby motion.

Bai Xue scowled. He drew a pouch out of his robes and tossed it at Xixing. “There. Take it.”

She snorted. Opening the bag, she counted the stones, then tossed the pills to Bai Xue. “Thanks for your patronage.”

Hui looked at Xixing, then glanced at Bai Xue. “When you leave…”

“Obviously I’ll take her. But is there anything else you want me to steal away?” Bai Xue asked.

“No one’s taking me, especially not that manslut,” Xixing declared, brows furrowed.

“I’ll take you all night long, darling, but that’s not what our Xiao Hui means,” Bai Xue said, reaching out to touch Xixing’s face.

She stepped back and glared fiercely. “Hey. Hands off.”

“Eh? What’s everyone chatting about over here?” Fa Chuyou asked, peeking in.

Hui jumped, startled. “Nothing, nothing!”

Fa Chuyou furrowed her brows and squinted suspiciously at him. “Hmm?”

Behind Xixing, Yi Ping walked up, arms crossed. He glared at all of them and settled in to wait.

Hui licked his lips, vaguely guilty. Yi Ping… at this point, I’m going to wipe out the entire Xi Clan before he realizes Xi Guping is dead.

Ah, not that this small cultivator has any vendetta against the Xi clan! I’d be very happy if they forgot and never bothered me again! But if they come after me with their dangerous puppet arts… I have no option but to fight! I can’t let those puppet arts anywhere near me. I want a long, happy, free life, not to end up as someone’s creepy flesh puppet!

Jin Xian came up beside Hui. Her milky eyes roamed the area, sightless. They settled on Yi Ping and widened. A smudge of black suddenly appeared in her pupils.

Hui put a hand on her arm, restraining her. Right, he’s one of Xi Guping’s lackeys. Of course she wouldn’t like him! “There’s no danger, Jin Xian. He isn’t a threat to us.”

Jin Xian relaxed subtly. The color faded again.

Yi Ping scoffed. “Jin Xian? Isn’t that Fang Hua? Ah, did you kill her and make her your soldier? Don’t act so kind to your corpse soldier, it’s creepy.”

“Take it back! There’s nothing creepy about it! One should treasure their corpses!” Fa Chuyou insisted, punching at the air in frustration.

“That Fang Clan bitch had it coming, anyways. All haughty because she had a scrap of bloodline talent. Her clan’s dying out, and good riddance,” Yi Ping said, waving his hand.

Hui frowned. He stepped forward and looked down at Yi Ping.

“What? Did I say something wrong?” Yi Ping asked, pulling himself to his full height.

Hui bowed low. “Yi Ping, please don’t insult this small cultivator’s servants and corpse soldiers. If you must insult anyone, please insult me instead.”

“You’re disgusting. I’ve thought it for a long time. A cowardly slug like you doesn’t deserve a spot in our sect,” Yi Ping said, scowling.

Hui bowed deeper. That’s true! I’m a righteous cultivator, not a demonic cultivator. I’m perfectly happy to hear that!

Yi Ping’s head snapped to the side. Yi Ping staggered back, startled. He touched his cheek.

A perfect outline of a hand appeared on his cheek, sunken a quarter-inch into his face. Bai Xue scowled down at Yi Ping. “The only slug I see here is you.”

Hui smiled, then paused. He blinked at Bai Xue. Wait, hold on. You… you don’t dispute the coward part? Bai Xue! I know it’s true, but still!

Yi Ping reached for his sword.

Bai Xue flicked his sleeve, summoning a black fan. He fanned himself with it, smirking at Yi Ping, daring him to try.

“Stop!” Fa Chuyou shouted, running between them. She frowned at Yi Ping. “Apologize! Apologize to everyone who loves corpses!”

Bai Xue’s face twisted as he struggled not to laugh. He raised his fan higher to hide his twitching smile.

Hui shook his head. “Not me, I don’t…”

“Apologize to me, to Xie Hao, to Hong Xue, to everyone!” Fa Chuyou insisted.

Bai Xue’s eyes widened. His brows furrowed, and he squinted at Fa Chuyou.

Oh! That’s right. I’m a ‘ghoul.’ Hui grinned and sidled up to Bai Xue. “That’s right, apologize to everyone, but especially Hong Xue, renowned corpse lover!”

“I am not,” Bai Xue returned, frowning at Hui.

“Ah, I forgot. Everyone here is a filthy necrophiliac,” Yi Ping spat.

“I am not!” Bai Xue insisted.

“Oh? Everyone knows about you and Xie Hao,” Yi Ping said.

At a loss, Bai Xue stared. He started to say something, then shook his head. Fast as a flash, he lashed out and whipped Yi Ping in the head with his fan.

Yi Ping’s eyes rolled back. He collapsed to the floor.

Hui and Fa Chuyou both stared. Hui licked his lips. “Uh… he’s alive, right?”

Bai Xue sighed and wiped his fan off on his robes. He meticulously cleaned his fingernails, then stepped over and wrapped an arm around Xixing. “I did not lose my cool, for the record. I simply wanted to steal this sister away.”

“Hey! Who do you think you’re stealing?” Xixing asked, fighting him.

Hui nodded slowly. Whatever you say, Bai Xue. Remind me never to push you!

“In any case, I’ll be going now. Hui, see you on the other side, my friend.” Bai Xue threw out his fan and jumped atop it, soaring into the sky.

“Hui?” Fa Chuyou asked.

“It’s his nickname for me,” Hui replied.

“How cute! Ah… aren’t you jealous, Xie Hao? He’s stealing that girl…” Fa Chuyou said.

Hui shook his head. “It was a misunderstanding, between me and him. We’re only friends.”

Only friends… who kissed!

No, no, that doesn’t count! She was giving me a pill! That’s all! That’s all. It wasn’t anything lewd at all. It’s not like she kept kissing me for… half a minute or so… No! It wasn’t lewd! It was… it was necessary! Not a kiss at all. Nope.

“Oh,” Fa Chuyou said. She scooted subtly closer. “So… you’re free?”

Hui scooted subtly away. “In any case, Elder Sister, I must be going. I’ve recently learned a new secret art, and I really must go seek enlightenment on it right now.”

“Right now? It can’t wait?” Fa Chuyou asked, pursing her lips.

“Absolutely not. I can feel enlightenment coming on as we speak,” Hui declared. He scowled fiercely at the sky, then threw his sword out and stepped one foot atop it. “Fa Chuyou, I’ll see you again once I’ve reached enlightenment!”

Fa Chuyou gazed at him, eyes wide. She nodded, understanding. “Go, go! What are you waiting around here for?”

He leaped atop the sword.

The sword shot out from under his feet and zoomed up into the sky on its own. Hui fell heavily to his butt, lying out on his back. Stunned, he watched the sword fly.

“Xie Hao! Are you okay?”

Hui’s eyes went wide. He rolled to the side.

The sword plunged into the ground where his head had been seconds ago. Hui stared at it, then slowly climbed to his feet. He brushed off his robes and smiled, bowing to Fa Chuyou.

“Er, Fa Chuyou, could I… borrow a shuttle?”