Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

The lightning continued to crash down from all directions. Even Erlan and Ding Qinwen paused in their battle to look over.

Erlan’s scalp tingled, and he backed away subtly. Four simultaneous tribulations? Is he so desperate for death that he’s seeking it from the Heavens themselves?

If even one of them succeeds, though, let alone two… or even all four… Erlan swallowed. He attacked fiercely, using his attack as a disguise while he repositioned himself toward the edge of the perimeter All-Heavens had set up around the remnants of Starbound Sect. Just in case. Just in case!

The lightning crashing down on Zhubi grew stronger. The snake twisted and twined, the lightning itself causing him to thrash. Blackened scales tumbled away, burned to charcoal by the tribulation. Lightning painted his entire long body black. Each strike crumbled bits of him away, cutting holes into Zhubi’s flesh.

No! Hui shouted silently. He wanted to rush to Zhubi’s side, but held still out of fear that he’d drag his own tribulation over to Zhubi, and only cause more damage. He bit his lip and watched, unable to do anything more.

At last, a bolt of lightning as thick around as Zhubi stretched long slammed into the snake. Zhubi trembled fiercely. Bits of crumbling black flesh fell down, raining on the earth below. Zhubi’s lifeless body fell from the sky.

Hui’s heart trembled. Zhubi… Zhubi! Wake up! You’re only playing dead, right? Playing dead? Please! You—you can’t die!

In the distance, Erlan laughed. “And the first attempt ends in failure. What a pity, what a pity. Ah, how inauspicious. Xiao Hui… will I even have to deal with you? Or will you, too, fail and crumble away?”

“Xiao Hui? Who?” Bing Qinwen asked.

Erlan put a hand over his mouth as though he’d misspoken, though the sly smile that crept out from behind his hand told the truth. “Oh… perhaps you’d know him better as Weiheng Hui? The lone survivor of Starbound Sect?”

“Survivor? He’s dead. They’re all dead,” Bing Qinwen replied, annoyed.

“Look closely. Even now, his disguise flakes away,” Erlan said, gesturing behind Bing Qinwen.

Bing Qinwen gritted his teeth. “As if I’d fall for such an obvious trick!”

“Oh? Then why don’t we ask the young lady over there?” Erlan asked, fanning himself gently, his smile no less wide.

“H—huh? What?” Lu Lintei asked, sitting upright on her sword. She looked around and blinked lazily, then wiped her eyes. “I’m awake, I’m awake.”

“Lu Lintei, ignore everything this demonic cultivator says! He’s trying to turn us against one another!” Ding Qinwen shouted.

“Hardly,” Erlan replied, tutting.

“What’d he say?” Lu Lintei asked, clueless.

Erlan opened his mouth again.

“What’s going on over here? I ran over as soon as I saw the tribulation lightning…” Zhi Ahn froze in place, staring at Hui, small-Hui’s head still dangling from his fist. He rubbed his eyes and kept staring. “H…huh?”

“Eh?” Lu Lintei asked, equally startled.

“What’s happening?” Ding Qinwen demanded, still wrapped up in battling Erlan.

Zhi Ahn pointed at Hui, disguised at himself, then at himself, then back at Hui. “He’s… I’m… who is that?”

“Eh? You’re… Zhi Ahn? There’s two Zhi Ahns… ugh, this is too confusing,” Lu Lintei complained.

“Two Zhi Ahns? What?” Ding Qinwen asked.

The Zhi Ahn not trapped in the tribulation jumped, then groped through his robes. “Wait, wait. I’ll… I’ve got proof. Where’d it go? Dammit…”

At last, he grabbed out a command medallion and held it up. “There! That’s proof. My command medallion from All-Heavens Sect!”

Lu Lintei jumped to her feet. She jabbed her finger at Hui and stared, wide-eyed. “So that one’s a fake! I knew it! Good thing I was keeping a close watch on him!”

Hui raised his eyebrows at her. Is that what you call ‘taking a nap?’ You can’t lie to me. I heard you snoring.

Far below, on the ground, Zhubi’s body shook ever so slightly.

“Quickly, while he’s getting struck by the tribulation…” Zhi Ahn waved his hand, and a huge horsehair whip materialized. Opposite him, Lu Lintei summoned a tiny paper fan. Both waved their weapons at the same time. From Lu Lintei’s side, a blast of fire flew at Hui, and from Zhi Ahn’s direction, a rush of wind materialized out of the whip.

Zhubi trembled again. Charcoal coated the ground around him.

Hui tensed internally, watching the magic fly at him. I can’t fight back, or I’ll have to entirely give up on playing dead against the tribulation! Do I have to swap tactics now, so late in the game? …Can I swap tactics?

Shit! I don’t have a choice—

Zhubi flew up into the air, shedding a blackened skin behind him. As his skin fell away, beams of light burst through, gleaming on the air. Lu Lintei and Zhi Ahn flinched back, blinded by the scintillating seven-colored light radiating off his fresh scales. A gorgeous green-purple-and-black pattern appeared on his pearly white scales. His body grew even longer than before, reaching a hundred meters long. He curled his body around Hui’s tribulation. The fire and wind slammed into his sides and bounced off without harming him in the slightest.

Turning to Hui, Zhubi hissed and waggled his tail. He bobbed his head reassuringly, then turned back toward the two fourth-stage fighters. Zhubi let out a ferocious hiss, baring his fangs at them.

Zhubi! Thank you! Hui cried out silently.

Lu Lintei and Zhi Ahn fell back, hesitant. They looked at Zhubi, then at Hui. Zhi Ahn grit his teeth. “It’s one fifth stage spirit beast, and he’s protecting his master. He’ll have to focus on defense! Come on, Lu Lintei! We can destroy him!”

He turned, to find Lu Lintei already a hundred meters away. She shot him a look. “Are you kidding me? Do you know how much work—ahem, how dangerous it is for us fourth-stage cultivators to catch a fifth-stage spirit beast? Let’s fall back and get reinforcements.”

“But we haven’t set up the teleportation array yet. The sect is a month’s swordflight away,” Zhi Ahn said, frowning.

“All the more reason to leave now!” Lu Lintei replied, already speeding off.

“Lu Lintei! Stop slacking and kill that Weiheng Hui already! He escaped from Gui Delun and somehow survived, despite Gui Delun believing he’d truly died, which only goes to show how incredibly dangerous he is! Who knows what kind of mysterious techniques he has? In fact, he’s probably hiding his cultivation level!” Ding Qinwen shouted.

“Er… probably not that last one. That’s the genuine fifth-stage tribulation,” Zhi Ahn said quietly.

“All the more reason to crush him now, while he’s weakened by the tribulation!” Ding Qinwen replied, frustrated. His sword flashed, battering down a dozen ink swords.

“Understood, Elder Brother! Lu Lintei, let’s attack!” Zhi Ahn shouted.

Lu Lintei let out an exhausted sigh. She looked at Hui and Zhubi, then reluctantly approached the tribulation. “Ah, Elder Brother is right. We must rush to battle!”

Despite her words, she showed no particular excitement to attack Zhubi. She waved her fan again, sending a mediocre wave of flame at Zhubi.

“Quickly! Our most powerful attack, again!” Zhi Ahn shouted, flicking the horsehair whip to summon a fierce wind.

“Zhi Ahn… our most powerful attack already did nothing. What do you expect to happen?” Lu Lintei asked lazily, her voice quiet enough Ding Qinwen couldn’t hear, though Hui heard it clearly.

“Lu Lintei—” Zhi Ahn started.

She shook her head. Gesturing at Hui, she continued, “Listen. He’s about to finish his tribulation. When he finishes… even you can handle that math, right?”

Zhi Ahn gritted his teeth. “I’m not Ding Qinwen.”

Lu Lintei nodded. “Right, so why don’t we get out of here before we both get turned into paste by the contingent of four fourth realm cultivators who are about to transcend their tribulations and become four fifth realm cultivators?”

Zhi Ahn hestitated, then flicked his eyes at Lu Lintei. “What Martial Sister says is indeed reasonable.”

“Hey, you can hear us, right? Remember, we aren’t trying to hurt you or your snake. Let us go peacefully once you transcend, okay?” Lu Lintei called quietly toward Hui.

Lying in the tribulation, Hui stared blankly at the sky, not sure what to say. Er… I suppose I should praise Elder Sister for her incredible desire to cling to life? At least she isn’t one of those dimwitted face-slapping villains who desperately wants to die, I suppose. And it’s not like she’s treated any of us particularly badly. I don’t hold a grudge against her, I’m more than happy to let her… and Zhi Ahn, go.

Wait. Wait! I have the upper hand here, don’t I? Time to negotiate! Eyes glittering, Hui peeked toward Zhi Ahn. “I agree… but you have to deliver my head to your sect and declare me dead!”

“H…huh?” Zhi Ahn asked, confused.

“We agree!” Lu Lintei replied immediately.

“But why…” Zhi Ahn frowned, looking at the head in his fist.

Lu Lintei waved her hand. “Obviously Ding Qinwen isn’t going to let it go. But if we return that we’ve captured his head, he’s free to go! He’s a lazybones… a reasonable man with a deep desire to live, like me. He doesn’t want to be hunted down by All-Heavens Sect.”

Er, Elder Sister, I feel like your own desires colored your response there… Hui thought.

“But… Ding Qinwen knows that I captured this head, and that it isn’t his current head,” Zhi Ahn argued.

Lu Lintei waved her hand. “Everyone knows Ding Qinwen is a bit dim. We’ll make up a story about capturing him again and losing the first head, and that’ll be good enough to confuse him.” She laid back on her sword, lazing away once more. “Look, there’s no need to do troublesome things. As long as he doesn’t fight us, there’s no need for us to go out of our way to fight him.”

Well said, Elder Sister! Hui thought enthusiastically. Truly, I’ve found a kindred soul that walks the path to immortality!