Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Hui laid there in the liquor, slowly leaking qi. He closed his eyes. Hey, Healer…

Hold on, Healer muttered, distracted.

Hey, what’s the rush? You getting drunk? Might as well, right? Hey, don’t die of alcohol poisoning, Rogue teased, laughing.

Awkward silence. All the Huis sat there silently, not sure what to say.

At last, Hui sighed. Rogue…

Fuck, come on. It was a joke. Can’t we laugh about it now? It was a whole lifetime ago! A lifetime!

Silence.

I found one. Here, Sectgoer! The node buzzed. Hui opened his hand, and a small vial fell into his palm.

Good to know we can send things into this weird twisted space, Hui commented.

Ah… hey, that’s a good point, Healer said. Next time, mention that before I send an expensive item to you, alright?

Yeah, yeah, Hui muttered. He uncorked the vial. Liquor began spiraling into the small vial. Slowly, the jar emptied. Hui sank down in the jar until his feet hit the floor, then stood. A little bit of liquor sloshed around at his knees. He knelt and lowered the vial to the bottom of the bottle, draining up every last drop of the liquor.

Excellent. Now we have Hui-flavored liquor, Rogue pointed out.

Anyone need a few spirit stones? I know at least one person who’ll buy that, Peak Lord joked.

That’s disgusting. Even Bai Xue doesn’t want that, Healer argued.

Are you sure? Hui asked.

Healer sighed. No.

Should we preserve this? If we open any of the other liquor bottles, we won’t have pure Hui-flavored liquor any more, Rogue asked.

Hui covered his ears. Please stop saying that. I’m going to puke.

Anyways, let’s shut up before Sectgoer kicks us out of chat again, Healer suggested.

Standing in the empty bottle, Hui looked around. He pasted a void talisman on the glass and backed away.

The talisman went off. The glass shivered, but held.

Hui pressed his lips together. He leaped off the floor and flew into the sky, slamming his fists into the cork. It shifted slightly, but remained in place.

Hmm. Okay. So the bottle is strong, too.

Healer’s voice echoed in Hui’s ears. What if you… sent the bottle through the node?

Will that work? Isn’t that cheating? Peak Lord asked, confused.

It isn’t cheating if it works, Hui thought. He pressed his hand to the bottle and activated the node.

The bottle trembled. Qi poured out of Hui. Is the liquor still getting me somehow? Or is this just—

The bottle vanished. Hui stumbled forward and fell to his knees, out of breath. –just how much qi it takes to move something that large and high-realm?

So… what am I supposed to do with this? Peak Lord asked.

Leave it on the peak somewhere, I guess. You’re the one who has a whole damn mountain to store things on, Healer pointed out.

There was an awkward silence again. Er, didn’t you guys say I could leave the mountain? I’m… you know. Elsewhere.

Eh, did Peak Lord seriously go to the Bai Clan? Rogue asked, laughing.

No one said a thing. In the liquor room, Hui licked his lips.

Fuck. Wait for me!

Healer sighed deeply. Send it to me. I have somewhere to store it until you return to the peak.

Hui pressed his hand to his forehead. Somehow, I feel like the clones are getting weirder the more clones we make.

Dusting off his robes, he climbed to his feet and turned slowly, taking in the room. Shelves lined the walls. The liquor bottles he’d seen earlier were stacked on the shelves, most of them full of some mysterious creature or another, though some contained only clear alcohol. The bottles ranged in size from tiny bottles as small as the vial Hui held, to massive bottles large enough to hold dozens of people inside. Hui hurried to the larger bottles, searching for the one he'd seen Zhubi in earlier. Zhubi! Zhubi, where are you?

A huge snake coiled in one of the massive bottles. Hui ran over to it, squinting through the liquor. That looks like Zhubi… “Zhubi, is that you? Can you hear me?”

The snake opened its eyes. It nodded slightly, then closed its eyes again.

Alright. Time to get Zhubi out of there!

Hui raised his hand to the glass, then paused. I almost passed out from sending the bottle I was in through the node. Zhubi’s bottle is many times as large as mine was. Plus, it’s still full of the liquor. Will I have enough qi to send the whole bottle through? Can I even send the bottle, without sending Zhubi, too? Sending Zhubi in the bottle only delays the inevitable. I have to remove Zhubi from the bottle before anything else!

Or… no. Hui took a deep breath and suppressed his qi in preparation. Someone, loan me your extra qi. I have to get in there!

Didn’t we just get out of there? Mortal grumbled.

Here, take mine, Peak Lord replied.

A rush of qi flowed over the node. Hui’s body buzzed with energy, once more overheating and full to the bursting. He took a deep breath and pressed his hand against the bottle. Healer, I’m sending it to you.

Ready.

Heavy footsteps rattled the earth. The bottle jolted on the shelf, shifting away from Hui’s palm. He chased after it, but a shadow fell over him. A giant hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle and lifted it up. “What do we have here?”

Hui’s eyes widened. He whipped around.

A tall, brutal woman stood over him. With broad shoulders, bristly hair, and dull eyes, she glared down at him. Her grip tightened on the bottle. She held it up and shook it at Hui. “You wanted my liquor?”

Hui’s heart raced. He started to shake his head, then froze. Wait! I can use this. Whatever it takes, to rescue Zhubi!

Grinning, he waggled the little vial. “I do want your liquor. I’m here to steal all of it! And you can’t stop me!”

“No?” the giant woman growled. She snatched at him.

Hui darted behind one of the bottles. The woman hesitated rather than risk smashing her bottle, but only for a moment. She grabbed it, revealing Hui.

Dashing behind another bottle, Hui stuck his tongue out at her. “You can only hold two bottles at once. But I can steal from any number of bottles!”

He slapped his hand on the bottle and sent it to Healer, then leaped into the air and called it back around him. Hui plunged into golden liquor. Little bubbles rushed around him. The liquor tickled his skin, full of bubbles.

Is there even such a thing as carbonated liquor? Maybe I should call it wine, instead, Hui thought.

The woman chuckled. “You fool. As if you could withstand my high-realm liquor!”

Ha. Joke’s on you! Hui peered around, curious which liquor he’d entered. A group of five cultivators in matching white robes hung lifelessly above him, their skin sallow and bloated, their eyes white with cataracts.

Hui’s skin crawled. A shiver passed over his body. I’m… in the same pool as them? I’m going to puke. Oh, this is disgusting. What are these bubbles? The gasses from their decomposing bodies?

Outside, the woman propped her hands on her hips and laughed. “I almost worried when you made that bottle vanish, but what a fool! Willingly entering my liquor…”

Holding back the urge to retch, Hui uncapped the vial. Instantly, the liquor began to spiral down into the vial.

Nooo, our Hui-flavored liquor! Peak Lord cried.

I’d like to request, yet again, that you never say that again, Healer replied.

The woman paled. “What are you doing? Give me back my wine!”

Hui leaned to the side, dodging the dead bodies as they dropped with the draining liquor. He leaned against the wall, disgusted. Still, he forced himself to grin triumphantly. “Your liquor is all mine, and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

He watched Zhubi’s bottle, holding his breath. Come on. Put it down, put it down. You have to put the bottles down to stop me!

The giant woman scowled. Letting go of the second bottle, she grabbed the bottle Hui was in and smashed it against the shelf. Shattered glass and liquor went flying everywhere. “If I can’t have it, no one gets it!” she growled.

Hui covered his head with both hands. His eyes flashed. He activated the movement technique, and time slowed. Leaping from glass shard to glass shard, he deftly dodged the corpses and ran up toward the woman’s arm.

Fine, don’t set Zhubi’s bottle down. I’ll come to you!

Hui jumped from the last shard of glass to the neck of the bottle, then raced over the woman’s hand and up her arm. I need someone else’s qi. Someone!

Dammit… fine! Rogue sent his qi to Hui.

A rush of heat blasted over him, and Hui took a deep breath, quickly circulating the qi. Alright. Alright. Get to that bottle, and—

The woman’s brows twisted. “Hey!” Clumsily, she swiped at Hui with Zhubi’s bottle.

Zhubi rattled around inside, his eyes rolled back.

Hui leaped into the air and slapped his hands onto the bottle. The bottle vanished for a moment, then reappeared around Hui. Liquor sloshed around him again.

Unhesitatingly, Hui yanked the vial open. Liquor spiraled down into the vial.

“Stop that!” the woman snarled. She shook the bottle.

Hui and Zhubi smacked against the walls of the bottle. Hui braced himself and reached his arm out to Zhubi. “Zhubi, here!”

Zhubi wriggled to Hui’s side, then shrank and wrapped himself around Hui’s arm, vanishing into his sleeve.

Alright. Now, to get out—

“Wait.”

A cute voice sounded in his head, this time without the reverb. Hui glanced around, startled. “Huh?”

“Stay in the bottle. If you can trick her inside, I can seal her in there,” the cute voice whispered.

“Why should I trust you?” Hui asked, frowning at the giant woman standing over him. I don’t feel like trusting women with cute voices right now.

“She’s my heart-demon. If you seal her, I might be able to escape this space at last.”

Hui jolted. “Will you help me fight All-Heavens?”

“I… will return the favors I am owed.”

That’s not an answer, but it’s the first time I’ve gotten anything vaguely positive from a mysterious senior. I’ll have to take a few gambles if I want to beat All-Heavens! Hui took a deep breath. Anyways, it helps me, too, if I manage to seal this giant snake-stealing woman!

“Give me back my wine!” the woman shouted, shaking the bottle vigorously.

Hui braced himself against the bottle and held up the vial. “I have it all right here. You want it? Come get it!”