Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Hui walked at an even pace, keeping a subtle eye on Zhubi. For his part, Zhubi walked quietly alongside Hui, his long hair draping on the stairs behind him. Big soft eyes took in everything around him. Zhubi hummed deep in his throat, happy.

Reaching out, Hui gathered up Zhubi’s hair. Zhubi looked up at him, and Hui nodded. “Give me a moment. It can’t feel good for it to drag after you like that, right?”

Zhubi shook his head.

Hui drew a simple hairpin from his node, one of the pieces of treasure he’d extorted—ahem, received as due payment—from the cultivators he’d healed, and fixed it in Zhubi’s hair. With the pin, a big bundle of white hair hung at the back of his head. Zhubi’s excessively long hair still draped behind him, but now it didn’t hit the floor.

Zhubi raised his hands up and patted the bun. He looked at Hui and tilted his head.

“Better?” Hui asked, slightly embarrassed. I’m not a hair stylist. The best I can really manage is a ponytail. Calling it a ‘messy bun’ is an insult to the nineties, but it’s better than letting his white hair get all dirty.

Zhubi tilted his head again and furrowed his brows, uncertain.

“Oh, for goodness’… let me have that.” A firm hand snatched the pin out of Zhubi’s hair. Squatting beside him, a beautiful woman quickly fixed his hair up, forming a gorgeous, looping bun hairstyle. She tilted his head left and right, then smiled up at Hui. “His hair is nice and soft, but yours is still softer.”

Hui scowled. He narrowed his eyes at the woman, then peered at the man staring at the ground to the left of her, refusing to make eye contact with him. “Bai Xue and Peak Lord?”

Bai Xue, dressed in a snakeskin disguise, beamed at Hui and ruffled his hair. “That’s right, that’s right! That’s my genius Hu… friend right there.”

Hui ducked away, covering his hair with his hands. “Elder Sister! We’re in the middle of a very serious trial right now.”

“Mmm. If we weren’t, I’d engage you in some very serious… business,” Bai Xue replied, licking her lips.

“Elder Sister!” Hui and Peak Lord complained in sync.

Bai Xue winked. “Good luck in the trials. I’ll see you at the top.”

Peak Lord nodded at Hui and turned away. He and Bai Xue continued up the stairs.

Hui watched them go, giving them a few moments to pull ahead before he started up with Zhubi again. Zhubi hummed, toddling along after Hui. A few times, he tripped on the stairs, but Hui helped him up every time.

“Walking’s still hard for you, huh?” Hui asked.

Zhubi hissed at him.

“That’s fair. I wouldn’t know how to move as a snake, either,” Hui allowed.

They continued up the stairs. Hui looked around and rolled out his shoulders, frowning slightly. I still don’t feel any pressure. Is this not the usual stairs trial? Is something else going on? Or maybe… well, there are fourth-realm cultivators in the trial. Maybe these are the stairs for fourth-realm cultivators.

He looked at Zhubi. “Do you mind if I jump ahead a few floors?”

Zhubi nodded, then held up his hands.

“You want to come with? But what if you can’t handle the pressure?” Hui asked.

Zhubi tilted his head. He put his arms against his sides, squeezed his legs in tight, wiggled his body and hissed.

“Oh, I understand. You can withstand more pressure as a snake, right? So you aren’t too worried,” Hui guessed.

Zhubi nodded.

“Alright, then.” Hui knelt and picked up Zhubi, then jumped up the stairs. Good thing Ying Lin isn’t here, or she’d complain that I’m spoiling him again!

When he landed, ten steps up, he still felt no pressure. He looked at Zhubi, who nodded. Hui leaped again.

This time, he landed beside another cultivator. The man staggered up the stairs. Veins stood out on his forehead, and sweat ran down his back. He gritted his teeth. “Not… yet…”

Hui frowned at the man. I feel like saying ‘not yet’ too, but… because there isn’t any pressure yet! Am I… really that strong? That can’t be, right?

The man looked at him and startled. Eh? How come he looks so calm? Isn’t he struggling right now?

Zhubi patted Hui’s shoulder and pointed up.

“Okay, okay. Let’s go on.” Hui bent down and leaped up into the sky, taking on another ten steps. He frowned. I still don’t feel anything?

The sweating cultivator stared at Hui’s back, jaw dropped. That easily? How? What kind of heaven-defying talent does that man have?

Hui continued upward, taking ten steps at a time. He passed more and more cultivators, all of them puffing and sweating while he hurried on. I really don’t feel anything, and Zhubi doesn’t seem affected, either. Am I doing this trial wrong?

Oh, well! If I’m accidentally cheating, I’ll continue accidentally cheating! I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Although, if I’m cheating… are all the other Huis cheating, too? And how’s Zhubi cheating, in that case? Is it because we stole the passes? But I didn’t steal mine, and neither did most of the other clones…

Hui put a hand on his chin, then shrugged. Whatever. I’ll keep going, and if it never gets hard, then… then I guess… I’ll just have to accept that this trial was too easy for me!

He continued up the stairs one leap at a time. Another few leaps, and he began taking the stairs twenty at a time, then fifty. Other cultivators fell behind him, straining against the pressure, while Hui surged ahead unhindered. They stared after him, jaw dropped.

“Another one?”

“Am I… that weak? How many is it, now?”

“The first was expected, the second was surprising, but how many unrivaled geniuses have charged past us, now? This is ridiculous!”

“Wait, look closely. This genius is carrying someone!”

“How egoistic! To think he can charge by while carrying someone… he’s asking to die!”

“But… he did it. He passed us all.”

“…”

“Maybe… I should also… try to clutch that thigh?”

Hui surged past the stragglers and entered the main pack. In a few leaps, he passed by the majority of the other cultivators in the trials. Only the other standouts and natural talents remained ahead of him. He peered ahead, but couldn’t make out any of the other clones or their tagalongs yet. Might as well keep pressing on. Leaping ahead, he left the majority of the other cultivators behind and began to push past the geniuses and talents.

At last, pressure weighed down on Hui. He paused, taking a moment to assess the pressure. This feels like… mental pressure?

Ah! Now I understand. I’ve always said it, but people of this world are too weak, too mentally weak! No wonder I’ve been able to charge past these stairs so easily. But why Zhubi, too? And Bai Xue, I haven’t seen her. Ying Lin, too, and Jin Xian, and even Bai Jingwen…

He looked down at Zhubi. Zhubi looked back up at him, clear eyes sparkling where they reflected the sun. When it comes to mental pressure, Zhubi falls into the same category as Li Xiang of being so pure as to be unbothered by it! Jin Xian… well, at a guess, she’d be the opposite of Zhubi, so tainted as to be equally unbothered, if she even qualifies as having a mind anymore. Bai Jingwen, too, as a lotus beast, falls in the ‘pure beasts and monsters’ category.

Which leaves Ying Lin and Bai Xue. Ying Lin… is incredibly quick to cultivate, and was recently training her mental energy. Here I was just trying to keep her out of the back garden, and accidentally trained her to stomp all over this trial! No wonder she’s breezing through.

Bai Xue… Well, Bai Xue has always been considered a genius and the heir of her clan. If she didn’t have tricks and techniques, she wouldn’t qualify as any of that. Besides, of all of my friends, Bai Xue might be the oldest. She’s several hundred years old, and has had that much more time to learn and cultivate.

…Come to think of it, does that mean she qualifies as a cougar?

No, no, no, Hui! Those terms don’t count for cultivators. No, no. Otherwise, elders, slow cultivators, and those who prefer to close up for decades or centuries for cultivation could never find love!

Yes, even I…

…am about thirty or so, a completely reasonable age to find love, even for mortals.

Hui twisted his lips and frowned. “Huh. Am I too young to find love? I’m not even a hundred. I’m a baby in cultivator ages!”

Zhubi looked up at him and tilted his head.

“Oh, no, no, there’s nothing wrong with being a baby,” Hui assured him.

A second later, he jolted. Hold up! Even Zhubi… Zhubi, when I met him, was a two-hundred-year-old spirit beast! He’s at least two hundred, if not nearly three hundred!

I’m the baby here! Am I the youngest? The—

No, no. Ying Lin is only… fourteen? Thirteen?

And she’s already fourth stage…

Hui let out a deep sigh. Zhubi furrowed his brows, confused.

“It’s fine, Zhubi. I’m fine,” Hui said, shaking his head. I should be happy that my disciple is so powerful! Ah, no. I am. And yet…

Ah, it’s good to have an example of a true genius! That way I understand my place in the world. Hui nodded to himself, satisfied.

Hui froze mid-step and closed his eyes, exerting a burst of mental energy. Ah! I forgot I was undergoing a trial and allowed the mental pressure to affect me! Careful, Hui, careful. Let’s continue upward, and remain mindful of the dangers of this trial! Even if I’m mentally strong, I still can’t underestimate this trial!

Nodding to himself, he leaped up another set of stairs. “Indeed. Let’s not underestimate this trial!”

One of the leading cultivators froze, startled by Hui’s sudden outburst. She stared. Where did he come from? What happened? I didn’t sense him at all!

Hui leaped off again, and she stared after him, eyes still wide. Do I even stand a chance against him? A wave of frustration rolled through her, and the mental pressure slammed down on her. She fell to her knees, panting as she struggled back against the sudden surge of pressure.

Hui glanced back, startled by the thump of the female cultivator falling over. Huh, is there some wave of pressure chasing me? I need to stay ahead of that! “Zhubi, hold on. We’re going to speed up!”

Zhubi nodded and grabbed onto Hui. Hui leaped ahead again. Phew! Good thing I noticed that girl getting affected by the pressure wave. Otherwise, I might’ve been dragged down, too!

The female cultivator spat blood and sagged to the stairs. Dammit… am I simply… too weak…?