Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Gui Yutong’s palace on Gui Delun’s peak was a prim affair in white and pink, feminine without being overly so. Everything had its place, and every piece of décor sat perfectly where it ought to be.

“Gui Yutong!” A young man jumped up at the gates of her palace, eager as a puppy.

Hui blinked. Who is this?

Wait, no. I know. It’s her incestuous brother, Fan… Fan something.

Sectgoer rolled his eyes. Wu Fanyun.

Yes, yes, that’s it. Incestuous half-brother Wu Fanyun. Hui nodded to himself, ignoring the puppy at the door.

Wu Fanyun scowled at Hui. He reached out to Gui Yutong, but she dodged his grip and went past, ignoring him the same as Hui. Hurt, he stared after her, his puppy eyes dripping with tears.

Bai Jingwen looked at him, then gave him a good kick. With a yelp, Wu Fanyun went rolling through the yard.

Well, that’s what you get for touching the lotus beast’s wife. Hui shook his head at the tumbling man and walked on.

“I’m so sorry about that. I had no idea Father would do that. And Liu Guang… he’s always been a bit…” Gui Yutong said, trailing off.

“Mmm, it’s fine. In any case, Elder Sister, how does it go?” Hui asked, glancing at her stomach. There was still no sign of child.

“It grows every day. It’s… quite awful, at times. The sickness in the morning…” she trailed off. “That’s nothing you want to hear about.”

Hui nodded. It’s certainly not my domain. “Well, if Elder Sister ever needs healing, you can always turn to me. I’ll do my best!”

She nodded. Walking on a few paces, she paused and looked back. “I won’t restrict you any more than Father already has. If you want to invite a friend over… there’s a guest house, past the pond. Treat it as yours.”

Hui bowed. “Many thanks, Elder Sister.” A pond? Hmm…

--

A Month Later

Exhausted, Lao Ning wobbled back toward the disciples’ barracks, barely able to stay on his feet. All around him, other disciples panted and limped along, wiping sweat from their brows.

Beside him, Shen Aiguo shook her head, taking a moment to suck in a breath. “Does that even count as practice? It’s just torture!”

Lao Ning waved his hand. “It’s… for our own good. Master says so.”

“Master doesn’t even watch us anymore. We’re practically just guinea pigs for Liu Guang,” Shen Aiguo argued.

Shooting her a glance, Lao Ning shut his mouth and shook his head.

“What? Do you believe that rumor that the mouthy ones get taken as Liu Guang’s actual guinea pigs?” Shen Aiguo asked, shaking her head.

Lao Ning shrugged. “Let’s just get back home and rest.”

“Oi, Lao Ning. Answer me—” Shen Aiguo stopped dead.

Turning back, Lao Ning sighed. “What?”

“An immortal paradise…” she murmured, her eyes wide.

Scoffing, Lao Ning glanced in the direction of her gaze. “Shen Aiguo, stop talking non…sense…”

A group of beautiful, androgynous beings giggled and frolicked, dancing in the air and darting around the top of a low wall. Lotuses scattered around an idyllic, clear pond, the blossoms thick and plump, perfect petals spilling over the aqua water. Rainbows danced in the air where the beings kicked up the water, and illusory beasts and figures danced in the air around them. The aura of enlightenment surrounded the whole scene.

In the back of the pond, an exquisitely handsome man sat beneath the shade of a wide blue parasol. Unaware of the exhausted disciples now all staring at him, he gently flicked through the pages of a manual. He snatched up a chilled spirit fruit from a platter at his side and popped it into his mouth, chewing with obvious delight. As he turned another page, he reached out and took a sip of a cool blue elixir.

Shen Aiguo licked her lips and swallowed.

Lao Ning stared as well, entranced by the delicate elixir, then shook his head. He grabbed Shen Aiguo by the collar. “Come on. We can’t trouble a guest.”

“He doesn’t look very troubled,” Shen Aiguo argued.

At the sound of their voices, the exquisitely handsome man sat up. Setting down his glass, he stood and walked over to sit on the wall. “Good afternoon.”

“Good afternoon,” Lao Ning returned, bowing stiffly.

The handsome man tilted his head. “You all look exhausted. Why don’t you come up here and take a rest?”

“We couldn’t trouble Senior,” Lao Ning insisted.

Shen Aiguo stepped forward. “Could we—”

Lao Ning clasped a hand over her mouth. “We appreciate Senior’s offer, but ultimately we have to turn you down.”

“Ah… are you sure? You there, you look injured,” the man said, pointing out one of the disciples limping the worst. “I’m a healer. Please, at least let me treat your injuries.”

Shen Aiguo twisted free of Lao Ning’s hand. She raised her arm, showing a scrape on her forearm. “I’m injured, too!”

“Shen Aiguo—” Lao Ning hissed.

“How horrible! Come here, come here. I’ll fix you up,” the handsome man said, nodding.

“You go on alone. Leave this to me!” Shen Aiguo responded, flying up to the wall.

“Shen Aiguo, get back here!” Lao Ning shouted.

Glancing amongst each other, the other disciples came to a snap decision. “Shen Aiguo!” “Shen Aiguo, I’ll get you!” “Wait for us—I mean, stop!”

Hui smiled, watching the tired and injured disciples flow into his back yard. Yes, yes, excellent, excellent! Come on in. This small Hui has a few tricks for you.

Ah, thank goodness I know so many handsome cultivators. I was able to use the snakeskin technique to tweak my face and make myself even more handsome. Plus, the lotus beasts always look adorable.

It would have been even better if I could have had a beautiful female cultivator as well, but Gui Yutong is busy, and Bai Jingwen would sooner bite me than cooperate.

I might be trapped in this yard, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be a corrupting influence.

Smiling, Hui greeted the cultivators. “Come on in! Take a seat, take a seat. Would anyone like spirit fruits? Or maybe a bit of elixir? Rest, rest. Take a load off.”

Shen Aiguo marched up to Hui. She bowed. “Shen Aiguo, fourth stage, I have seven thousand spirit stones and I’d make a great wife.”

Hui blinked. “Er… yes?”

A hand closed around Shen Aiguo’s collar. Laughing awkwardly, Lao Ning drew her away from Hui. “Haha! Please don’t take Junior Martial Sister’s jokes too seriously. Shen Aiguo, you—”

“I mean every word I said,” Shen Aiguo said, breaking free of his grip with practiced ease. She ran up and grabbed Hui’s hand. “Senior, you’re the first man to meet my high standards. Please marry me.”

“What ‘high standards,’” Lao Ning said, rolling his eyes. “You propose to every handsome man you meet.”

“Yes, but most of them are scum. I can tell Senior isn’t scum. Truly, we’re fated. What’s your birthdate and time?” Shen Aiguo asked.

Lao Ning shook his head at her. “You mean, you can tell Senior is rich. Senior, please excuse my Junior Martial Sister. She’s a real prankster, haha.”

Hui laughed lightly. “It’s quite fine, Elder Brother. In any case, this small cultivator is taken.” He gestured over his shoulder at the main house.

Lao Ning’s eyes went wide. He backed away. “Shen Aiguo…”

“What? You didn’t realize it was Gui Yutong’s back gardens? I’m fine being a second wife, by the way. Even a mistress,” she said, winking at Hui.

This gold digger… She’ll be sorely disappointed when she finds out I’m deeply in debt. Hui smiled stiffly. “Why don’t you let me see your wound?”

“So bold,” Shen Aiguo said, suddenly blushing. She clutched her face and let out a breathy sigh. “Asking to see my bare forearms before the first date…”

Asking to see—you showed it to me seconds ago! Hui raged in his head. Suddenly understanding Lao Ning’s troubles, he shot the man a sympathetic look. Ah… though I think she and Ying Lin would get along swimmingly…

He gestured her over. She swooned over to him, all but sprawling in his arms. “My poor aching arm…”

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hui drew out a bit of life qi and pressed it into her scrape. In the seconds before it healed, he quickly assessed the situation of her body.

Hui’s eyes widened. He leaned in, pressing in a bit more qi to examine her body more thoroughly. His brows knitted, and he looked at Shen Aiguo.

“Wh…what?” she asked, all flirtatiousness suddenly gone.

Hui shook his head. “Elder Sister… how are you still alive?”