My Ex Is My Bestfriend

I immediately pushed Ethan and whispered angrily, "What are you doing?"

"I just missed you."

"What in the world are you talking about?!"

"And what's wrong in hugging a bestfriend?"

"Did you forget that I have a boyfriend?"

"So? I was still with my girlfriend when we f*cked."

"Yeah. And f*ck you for that! I let you use me and I am never going back in that situation ever again!"

"What situation Cassidy?" Minho interrupted us.

Oh shit. What to do?

"That we f*cked," Ethan declared a beat after.

Minho whirled at him.

Oh no. Shit. Ethan stupid stupid. Evil. He is just so evil to do this to me. I wanna strangle you. aaarrggghhhh~

"What did you say?" Minho asked through clenched teeth.

I stood there rooted, not knowing what to do or how to react.

"I said, we f*cked," Ethan repeated.

I AM DOOMED. F*CK YOU ETHAN.

Minho rushed towards him and almost punched him when Ash stopped them.

"Hey stop this! What is going on here?!"

Minho was clenching his fists, controlling his emotions from lashing at Ash. Ethan just stood there unmoving.

Ash looked at me, his eyes asking. I looked down.

"Tell me Cassidy, are these two fighting because of you?"

I didn't look up. I didn't say yes or no. I don't like this feeling.

Ash broke the silence. "Okay, whatever this is, let's talk about it later. Everyone's waiting inside."

Ash then put his arms on Ethan's shoulder and urged him to go inside.

I braved a look at Minho. He was fuming while looking at Ethan's receding figure. I hesitantly approached him.

When he noticed me approaching, he looked down at me.

I shivered. There was too much coldness in his eyes. But it didn't prevent me from getting near him.

"Minho.."

"Cassidy, who is Ethan to you?"

I think my mind short-circuited. I can't barely comprehend what he said. And I can't find an answer.

"Uh, what was that again?"

He sighed. "I said-"

"Oy you two! The service is about to start!"

I have never wished for Ash's irritating voice except now. I really do not want to answer Minho right now. My mind and emotions are in turmoil.

"Okay Cassidy. Let's talk about it later." And he held my hand as we walked inside.

***

I was seated between Ash and Minho. The kids were at the front along with Mr. Ryan and Ethan. I don't know if the children can comprehend the pastor's words, but I think they do. They're smart kids, and I am their teacher. Hahaha. Whatever Cassidy.

As soon as the service was over, Minho got up and gave me a glass of water.

"Stop crying. And why are you crying? There was nothing sad about the pastor's words."

"I know. And I should be happy of what he said. Of the life we are to have after resurrection in Jesus' love. But...."

"Okay? But?"

"I don't want to see Layla inside that coffin. I can't bear it. I can't... "

"Why are you so emotional right now baby?" He hugged me. "Okay baby, think of this as Layla just sleeping, and waiting for that eternal life where we're all going to be together. Don't imagine it as a coffin. Think of it as a special bed where all the special people lay. Think of how happy Layla is now, now that she could rest, free of pain, free of sadnesss. And just be happy for her."

I nodded against his c.h.e.s.t. Yes. Minho is right. Layla wants us to move on, and be happy. Okay I could do this.

I looked up at him, "Would you accompany me?"

"Always baby. Always."

We approached Layla's bed. And yes it really looked like a child's bed. The foam was in light pink and blue colors and she was wearing her newly-bought blue summer dress. The one she was supposed to wear on our beach outing. I ignored that there is sa lid there, and just focused on how serene Layla's face looks like. Yes, she looks like she is just sleeping.

The kids then made their way to us. I helped some of them see Layla. They were crying. But I heard them say, "Bye Layla. We're gonna miss you."

I hugged each of them. I admire them for being strong. And I have never wished for better kids to teach. They are the best. I would be sad to see them leave me, but it is inevitable.

Minho then guided me to a vacant seat. I have never thought that we were standing there for a long time. My legs are aching.

Layla's mom approached us and sat beside me. "She said she'd wear that," Layla's mom said, her voice shaking. "She said, if ever she can't make it to the outing, she wants to wear that."

I patted her shoulder. I don't know what to say to comfort her.

She looked at me and smiled, "Thank you for being there for Layla, most especially when I wasn't around. Thank you also for being here."

I hugged her. "Your daughter is the sweetest child I have ever met. I love her so much. And thank you for bringing her to the world."

She sobbed. I didn't know I was crying too. But I don't care. We are two grieving women who lost a precious daughter. Yes I sometimes consider Layla as my daughter.

Like the daughter I have lost before.

Like the daughter I should have now.