My Psychotic Ghost Girlfriend

Looking and actually seeing someone there was far less scary than being in this vague state where you were aware there may or may not be something there, but you were just unable to see it. The vague unknown was what was truly the scariest and I had no one but myself to blame for trying to avoid the cliche developments from earlier. However, since I was already this far invested in this sightless route, it actually felt more nerve wracking to open my eyes now.

Somehow while in this state I made it to the running faucet without any complications and I could feel the tap was directly in front of me. All I had to do was reach out to turn it off. In spite of how easy it sounded, there was a slight fear inside me. I feared when I reached out I wouldn't grab onto the handle to turn it off, but it would be something else instead.

After all, the light sound of breathing to my right was freaking me out to an unbelievable degree. I could feel there was no heat from the water in front of me, so I knew it was the cold water on the right that I needed to turn off.

Right?! Of course it would be that way! It just had to be the same side where I heard the sound of someone breathing!

"Dio, what are you doing?"

Eh?

Without any control, my eyes opened on their own and looked to my right. What greeted me was the sight of a woman's c.h.e.s.t.

"Dio, my eyes are up here."

"Haha. My bad. My bad."

I was relieved to find it was my boss Val. I felt a bit awkward as I didn't know how to respond to her question considering I was in the woman's…

… what in the mary go poppins shitcraft sorcery is this?

I was seated in the same chair I was in before Val left for the restroom. The mess that I made earlier when I tried to break a window open was nowhere to be found. The employees were back behind the counter working as hard as ever and the customers were scattered throughout the establishment while buzzing and chattering about as lively as ever.

The deathly silent world completely shattered and the bustling noisy environment had returned once more. I blankly looked up directly into Val's eyes and found her gaze locked on mine with slight confusion written on her face.

"What do you mean what am I doing?"

Since I wasn't in the women's washroom I was naturally clueless towards the underlying meaning behind her words so I naturally probed her. Was it her phone she was asking about?

"Why were you closing your eyes just now?"

Safe! Thank god!

"I was just contemplating the meaning of life."

"Oh? And what great revelation did you come up with after your contemplations, great sage?"

"Melons aren't bad. It's actually quite relaxing and soothing to see melons after waking up from a nightmare."

"Hahaha. What the hell does that mean?"

"It means I like knockers."

"Should I report you to HR for s.e.x.u.a.l harassment?"

"I didn't say I liked yours."

"I am above HR though. Are you sure about your answer?"

"Oh, really? I didn't say I didn't like yours either. You can neither confirm or deny any form of s.e.x.u.a.l harassment took place here."

"Treating your boss to a meal alone doesn't look too good in your defense you know."

"If anyone has been harrassed it would surely be me." I'd been mind f.u.c.k.e.d so badly that my a.s.s actually hurt a bit from clenching too hard just now.

"There's no proof of that."

"Then we're even. Neither of us have proof that any harassment took place today."

"What are we even talking about right now?"

"You started it, didn't you?"

Again? Whenever we talked, I always felt a comfortable relaxing feeling. She somehow always made my unease vanish into thin air and feel like the strange scares I experienced were nothing much. It's too unusual for it to just be a coincidence for it to happen every time. It was like she could read me like a book and she knew exactly what to say to calm me down every time.

It always seemed to be an emotional roller coaster ride when I was l with her. When she was around, things were calm. When away, things went awry. Why the hell? Don't tell me ghosts are afraid of her or something stupid like that.

I shook my head to refute the idea. Ghosts don't exist. It's all my brain playing tricks on me from the stress. Maybe I just have some sort of disorder where being alone causes hallucinations and nightmares.

Though the only exception to that would be the time Rick and I watched that creepy teletubbies video together. That was the only time where I was around another person and freaky stuff like what occurred earlier happened. Actually, there was also the time with the receptionist at the station wasn't there? But it was just flickering lights and the third set of mysterious footsteps in that case. I didn't technically see any hallucinations that time, so I guess I couldn't really count it.

What if that time Rick had also seen what I had seen, but he just pretended he didn't in fear that he was the only one who saw it? Maybe he didn't want to be thought of as crazy lunatic, similar to me, so he hid it.

But when did the hallucination I experienced just now actually begin? How much was a simple delusion and how much of it was reality? After watching the video? Reading through her browser history? Was it some time even before that?

"You like to fall into deep thought a lot when you're together with your captivating boss, now don't you? Are you so infatuated with me you can't get me off your mind?"

"Well, I'm going through a lot of things lately, it's completely unrelated to you."

"Puberty?"

"No."

"Girl problems?"

"..."

"Love problems?"

"No."

"Oh? It's really girl problems isn't it? To think that's what would be troubling you even when the incident with Rick only just recently happened? Despite being related to girls, it's not related to love? Now you have me a bit curious."

"It's really none of your business."

"Work problems?"

"No."

"Ex problems?"

"No."

"Eh? Really? I thought for sure it would be related to one of those."

"It's not, so stop probing."

"Come on, you're just making me more curious now. What has my precious little employee's feathers so ruffled?"

"..."

"It couldn't be that you fell for me, right?"

"Nah. That's impossible."

"Eh, you did fall for me you say? Hmm. Maybe in a few years I'll consider it."

"I said I didn't."

"Is it family related?"

"No."

"Just tell me already. Do I have to dock your pay for withholding confidential information from your employer?"

"Confidential my ass!"

"If you're not a corporate spy internally struggling between his previous employer and his love towards his new boss, then what are you so stuck up on? What's got your p.a.n.t.i.e.s in a bunch? Just tell me already."

"What? A corporate spy for my former employer? Also, just for the record, I wear boxers."

"I know. That was just a joke."

"Wait, wait, wait. Which one did you know and which was the joke?"

"I already confirmed you weren't a spy after looking into you. Although, I won't lie, I did consider the possibility initially, but I still took the risk because I valued your abilities. Your potential worth outweighed the risk, so I figured I'd give it a shot."

"Oh? Is that why you've suddenly gotten closer to me?"

"No. I got closer to you because I found it interesting how horrible your luck with women was. I wanted to know why you were a psychopath magnet, but I still don't get it even now."

"Well wouldn't that mean you're not a psychopath if you don't see me that way?"

"Hmm… maybe I might be slightly psychotic after all."

"Huh? What was that?"

"Haha. Nothing, I was just musing over something."