My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

755 Victory Soured

We won.

Beneath a blanket of clear, gray skies, emerging out onto a snowy plain of clear, flat terrain. Pine needles embedded in my pants, stray twigs in my hair, I took all in.

If freedom had a noise, a voice, it’d probably sound just like Mariah Carey hugging her lips too close to the mic. Because right then, that’s what freedom was to me—blasting through loudspeakers everywhere.

Like an anthem of victory.

Thank you Christmas. Thank you Carey. Still really kinda hate your song though with every fiber of my existence and will celebrate its death with tears of joy and lots of dancing.

Nothing personal though.

Adalia practically sprung out of my arms, landing in the snow with a precarious wobble that plainly told of how much she had exerted herself. It wasn’t long before she was shambling close toward me again, wrapping herself around arm like it was a personal walking stick.

“Hey,” I huffed, my gaping, heaving lips forming into a smile. “We did it. Cleared it.”

“Yes…” She whispered, happy and cheerful, her blank tone didn’t make it clear, but the small nods of her head, the slow yet rapid blinks of her eyes showed there was nowhere for pure excitement to hide. “Fastest… cleanest…”

.....

Didn’t notice it before, but the sky, the view all around, it seemed it had started snowing again while we were busy clawing our way out of the forest of death. Seeing flakes of wintry white blending in with the wavy gray at the top of Adalia’s head was how I realized it, which reminds me too…

“You dropped this by the way,” from within the tight clench of my fist, I let her santa hat unfurl in the air before promptly putting it over her head, meeting her murky grateful gaze below its white, wooly brims. “Though knowing you, I’m sure you can win yourself another one again just as easy.”

“No…” She slowly shook her head, the little fuzzy ball at the end dancing after her. “I like… this one…”

Then just as I was wondering where we were supposed to go to confirm our results, the answer sprung out at us through rustling leaves, wheezing gasps, and the lifeless corpses of three color-colored persons laying sprawled in the snow.

“No way,”

“Bullshit.”

“They won…”

Blue, Green and Red arguably looked even more worse for wear than Adalia was. In each other’s arms, they tottered, hoisting each other up through very wobbly knees.

“Perfect timing,” I turned, greeting the trio with all the sympathy of a Scrooge pre-carol. “I don’t suppose you guys know who’s keeping track of our personal best, do you?”

Blue was the first to react, lifting her head up at me, walking on her own two feet. She had her lips flattened so narrow, I almost thought they didn’t exist at all. Not until she spoke, and when she did indeed speak… trust me when I say, her tone was in the minus degrees.

“Yeah, right here,” She muttered, flashing a stopwatch in her puffy blue gloves that I didn’t see.

“You’re keeping time?” I said, mildly surprised.

‘I’m a fellow judge. Of course I’m keeping time.”

“Then shouldn’t you be out here for that? Y’know, instead of chasing contestants?”

“And shouldn’t you be smooching up to your smoking hot detective lover?” She threw back, flaunting all the sass with a hand cupping the side of her hip. “Guess that makes us both no-gooders, huh? But which of us is the lesser evil though… I think it’s best if you don’t ask me that question.”

I decided to take her advice, kept my mouth firmly shut. Police brutality’s no joke.
“Nine minutes thirty-three seconds. Our fastest by a longshot,” Blue proclaimed with all the vigor of a toddler staring at a spoonful of broccoli. “Congrats.”

“And the cleanest too, yes?” I asked nicely.

If looks could kill. Yikes.

“Actually…” and that was when things took a turn. Blue’s lips gave an upwards twitch, a subtly enigmatic gaze drifting slowly to my feet. “Look before you leap. Ever heard of the phrase?”

“C’mon, Boyfriend,” Green cackled, stirring to life and quickly springing, sitting upright. “You really think we’re just throwing shit at you like a bunch of amateurs?”

“You underestimate us…” Red stood up, wiping the snow of her coat with gentle finesse. “You shouldn’t have…”

“Your… legs…” Adalia whispered softly at my side, her eyes plunged straight down. “...yellow…”

Mariah Carey faded away with her last verse, and with it disappeared also my sense of triumph. I didn’t have to look all the way, I just peeked and there it was – coating my shoes, layering the black of pants – the blemishing stains of an ugly, putrid yellow.

“See, we have contingencies set for hyper-ninjas like you folks,” Blue spoke up, her mischievous tone in a resurgence. “If throwing ambushes at you won’t do, then why not have you walk into one all on your own instead?”

“We puddled some parts of the forest grounds with colors,” Green clarified. “Purple here, brown there, a bit of yellow here and there.”

“We led you right into one of the puddles…” Red finished. “And you didn’t notice…”

“Oh, that’s dirty,” I remarked, half in awe, half in terror, and completely in a spiraling despair. “But… but the rules they… I don’t think they mentioned…”

“Let’s not get caught up in the trivialities now, shall we?” Blue interjected, clasping her hands in a dispersing echo. “But here’s the most important thing to take away. Yes, you’re the fastest. Cleanest?” She squinted her eyes, faking the tightest grimace as she slowly shook her head. “Probably not the flawless victory you were looking for, I’m afraid. Gonna have to take points off for that.”

I couldn’t even be mad. I was just numb. If anything, it was a foil, a scheme that would have Amanda proud. And it was just like Blue to set it up. The fault was solely mine. Really, I should have seen this coming.

“Damn,” with no other choice, I conceded. “You got me.”

The Terrible Trio reveled in glee on their relatively wicked task well done. And even when all was said and done, it seemed they still had a few things to say.

“Don’t see no reason for you to take this as your loss, though,” Blue flashed a kinder smile. “You still shot past the other contestants without question. I still need to tally up scores with the other judges, but with what you’ve done here, you two are definitely right up there in the rankings.”

Then to Adalia, Blue’s eyes narrowed over, peering at her in all her reclusiveness and silence with a palpable sense of pure admiration.

“And you, with the way you push yourself out there, how committed you were,” She said. “Whenever you do get a boyfriend, an actual one this time. He’s going to be a really lucky guy.”

“Super lucky!” agreed Green, thrusting both thumbs up. “You got guts!”

“And you have a charm to you,” Red observed. “You seem very kind…”

“And it’s clear as day for anyone to see frankly,” Blue spoke up again, coming full circle. “That you definitely got a lot of love in you to give.”

Adalia assessed the trio with a slow, wandering gaze. For a moment, she seemed almost at loss as to what to say, until quietly I heard her whisper to them, “Thank… you…”

“And, uh, off the record, you didn’t hear this from me…” Blue fidgeted, darting her eyes furtively everywhere, before subtly leaning forward. “But you guys almost… just almost look cute together.”

“Not as cute as with Irene though,” Green snapped at me with a heavy look. “It better stay that way too.”

“Call her soon, okay?” Red asked gently, smiling sweetly. “Or we’ll do it for you…”

Now that’s just scary.

“Noted,” I said.

With a wave in unison, the colored trifecta scampered off, heading to wherever the hell they were supposed to be going. But not before the bluest of the three briefly turned around again, her hands cupping around her lips.

“Next couple event will start in two hours!” Blue’s words rippled towards us in a ringing echo. “Sadly, we won’t be part of it. But you don’t want to miss it, trust me! Not unless you want to fall behind on the leaderboard, that is! Then again, we won’t mind if you want to!”

And with that parting bit of snide, the three colorful streaks in the snow finally disappeared into the nearby walkway of teeming festivities. Leaving only two, just us two, with the snow falling, the wind blowing, and the guilt seriously tripping.

“So, um…” I hissed in the breath, feeling the bitter cold slam into my teeth. “Whoops.”

“Not… your fault…” Adalia immediately murmured through fainted breath. “I didn’t… see… either…”

“You were in my arms, what were you supposed to see?” I rebutted. Her attempt at assurance, while kind, only made me feel all the more worse. “So much for cleanest…”

“We can… try again… another… event…”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Then I felt her wobble again, the sagging of her grip around my arm, and I quickly placed my hand around her, holding her steady.

“But first,” I said, whirling my gaze and setting it to the nearest bench in sight. “How about a little lie down for a spell?”

“No…” She blinked up at me. “I will… be… sleepy…”

“You can use my lap as a pillow.”

Adalia blinked again.

“Maybe… for… a while…”

Honestly, I didn’t expect that to work. Wow. Was it universal? Maybe I could try it on Irene next time she’s feeling a little reluctant to teach or something.

I led us slowly over onto a nearby trail, one more secluded, quieter, and yet somehow even on the most lonesome of roads, another clipboard-holding, pen-clicking judge managed to spot our armbands and immediately swoop in at us like a hawk.

Of all the times…

A bespectacled woman, adjusting her frames with a push of her knuckles, her lenses shimmering brightly with her intentions. Before I could even get a word in edgewise, we were already being pelted with the romantic dilemma of the hour.


“If one day, your partner tells you they’d like to have children, but you secretly don’t,” The woman fiddled with her glasses again, the tip of her pen set firmly against her board. “Would you comply with their request for the sake of your love?”

“Bad time,” I said as soon as the opportunity came. “Can we answer some other time? We really have somewhere to—”

“No…” Adalia muttered.

There was silence, shock, on both sides, then…

“No?” The woman leaned further in. “No, you won’t do it for love?”

“No…” Adalia spoke again, her empty, vacant gaze swirling back at her through the woman’s lenses. “Because… I cannot… bear any… offsprings… for him...”

You could almost see the horror, the astonishment, and the utter regret rippling quickly across the woman’s face one after the other. Hastily, she began scribbling furiously in her clipboard with her glasses nearly slipping off the bridge of her nose.

A second later, she looked back up, apologized profusely, and dashed away out of sight. Leaving us, but mostly just me, in a profound messy state of stunned silence. And it wasn’t just because of the woman’s reactions either…

Adalia…

“Come… hurry…” She gently tugged me, uprooting my feet in place, and staggered me forward in her hold. “I want… my pillow…”

.....