Never Saved You

Thump. From within Ophelia, something plummeted.

Her fingertips trembled. it was like a lie that she felt nothing just a moment ago.

With the loud thump just now, it was reminiscent of a cork being removed. And soon after, it was as if something was pouring down.

Her hands were shaking.

These emotions—were they despair? Excitement? Fear?

“Did you come here to find me?”

Following the voice was the black water that threatened to flood once more.

At that moment, all Ophelia wanted to do was run away.

It was accurate of Ophelia to think that it would be too difficult for her to face Ian while he was awake.

With just his voice, she was already so affected. How could she face him?

But this wasn’t something that she could just run away from.

Ophelia finally turned around.

The light that obliquely shone served as a distinct line to split the bedroom.

His sharp features, his black hair, his blue irises. He resembled a sharp silver reef.

Just before she jumped off the balcony at the banquet hall, their eyes had met. And her heart pounded, as if fireworks had lit up just then.

The distinct atmosphere was already affecting Ophelia. This situation was dangerous to her.

Just why?

Ophelia tried to find the source of her anxiety, but it was a futile effort, just as though she was struggling for air deep into the depths of the ocean.

While she was in turmoil, it was Ian who spoke first.

“I didn’t know you were so quiet, Ophelia Milescet.”

Only then did Ophelia stop trying to swim meaninglessly.

“I thought you were sleeping. I didn’t know you’d recognize me right away.”

“Red hair like yours isn’t common.”

And he was right. This was how that misunderstanding sprouted.

Before he lost consciousness, he saw red hair.

“Someone like you isn’t common.”

“I didn’t know you were the kind of man who would say something so trite. Do you know the situation you’re in?”

“I woke up once earlier, and the maid said that while I was on my way back from Milescet, it was the Princess who saved me.”

“Don’t ask other people.”

“But already did. I don’t think anyone else was rescued except for me.”

Ian’s explanation was clear. His tone couldn’t hide his grief.

However, his openness just made things more uncomfortable for Ophelia.

A strange sense of incongruity kept nagging at her, and because she didn’t know what was causing this, she was feeling frustrated.

Ophelia had nothing else to grip but the lamp in her hand.

As she faced Ian, the life she had in Ronen, which she had forgotten, seemed to have come back to strangle her.

How foolish had she been to head straight to Ronen after only having met Ian.

At that time, Ian was Ophelia’s most precious person. But it was not the same case for Ian.

Compared to Ophelia, there were many people that he held dear.

When he first woke up from being rescued, he grieved for about a week.

The reason was simple.

It hadn’t been possible to confirm whether the people he had been with on the ship were still alive or if they had already passed away.

Even after corresponding with Ronen and exchanging letters with the Imperial Family of Milescet, there was no way to know what had happened in the vast open sea.

And so Ian went to the shore every single day, staring blankly at the waters, then he would return.

However, they heard news from Ronen a week later that all the crewmembers and the other passengers were rescued. There were no casualties.

‘He was the kind of person who would care about his people like that.’

He was a good sovereign, a good leader towards his vassals, but not a good lover.

That’s when Ophelia knew that loving someone with all her heart would only hurt her.

When the number or people you care for was similar, the number of wounds were also similar, and so this was the biggest difference between Ian and Ophelia.

The more Ophelia clung to Ian, the more he would say that he couldn’t understand her, that she bothered him.

It then became natural to him to turn to busy himself with tasks that didn’t require more of his attention than necessary.

However, these memories stayed only with Ophelia.

All of these things have yet to happen.

There was no resentment, no sadness, no affection.

It was not until that time that Ophelia suddenly realized what she wanted the most as she swallowed the mermaid scale.

For nothing to have happened.

‘I wished that all those things never happened to me.’

For the first time, she did not save him, she did not love him, she did not resent him.

She felt like she had reached enlightenment.

‘But if that’s the case.’

What were the conditions that she must achieve in order to maintain this spell?

Make it happen as her wish should? For nothing to happen?

Should she talk to Alei again? But as Ophelia was contemplating, Ian sat up on the bed and opened his lips to speak once more.

“I didn’t mean for us to meet again like this.”

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then he spoke.

“I wanted to say thank you.”

“…You don’t have to thank me.”

“Why? I believe it’s the reasonable thing to say here.”

“No, it’s the opposite. It wasn’t done out of good will.”

“Then I’m glad there’s a reason.”

“And I’m not the one who saved you. It would be better if you direct your gratitude to her.”

“It was the youngest mermaid princess.”

Ophelia halted where she stood.

He never knew about Ariel being the youngest mermaid princess until he met the sisters on the coast that day.

So it was too soon for Ian to say this.

“……”

There was no way to see what her own reaction was, but she knew.

Her expression must have surely hardened because she couldn’t cry.

However, as Ophelia faced Ian now, the light emanating from the lamp in her hand did not abate.

And she saw how Ian’s expression crumbled. She couldn’t describe it as anything else.

The lips that were in a hard line opened once more.

“The youngest mermaid princess with red hair that resembles yours, the mermaid who gave you a scale after she died.”

“Stop.”

“Ophelia.”

As he called her name, she took a step back. The lamp plummeted from her trembling hand.

The man stood from the bed. With her fumbling as she took more steps back, he would follow close. Like an insignificant insect that wouldn’t go far no matter how much it struggled, she felt like she was fighting against the waves that would not let her go.

In the end, Ophelia reached the wall behind her, and there was nowhere else to go as that unbearable gaze continued to look at her.

Because all the lamps that were left lit were behind him, the man had his back against the light.

And so, they were exactly two steps apart.

Ophelia knew that this was the most consideration that Ian could give. His conscience was just about the same span.

Their eyes met again. There, a gaze with an unknown passion.

“I missed you.”

Those lips, that calm voice, uttering sweet nothings. They were all the same as she remembered.

Ophelia knew that gaze.

Those were his eyes when he once said he loved her.

But now, there was one other emotion that didn’t seem to just mean love.

A gleam of regret, grief.

Oh, how well love and despair go hand in hand.

She was so used to that expression. The fact that it was so tender, Ophelia wanted to ask.

You. Why?

“Why…”

Why are you looking at me like that?

Holding back the question that threatened to spill out, Ophelia burst into laughter.

If anyone else had seen her, they would have suspected that she had gone mad.

And if they were truly going to go ahead and ask, they wouldn’t have been the first to do so.

It was laughable that this was the first question that came to her mind, as if she herself had been out of breath.

It was comedic, it was tragic.

It was all the more so because she couldn’t find the reason for it, all the more so because it was an emotion that could not be hidden without that reason.

At some point, her laughter turned into tears.

She cried and she laughed.

Even as she returned to the past, there followed the looming shadow of her nightmares. She could not escape.

She hated this man who looked at her like this.

What the hell did Ariel want when she died?

Obviously, it must not have just been Ophelia’s death.

She was no longer certain.

Make it so that this was all a nightmare, that this was punishment for having dared to dream of better luck.

Please, make it so that him kneeling down here is not real…

Tears fell endlessly from Ophelia’s eyes, and Ian knelt down in front of her. It was the reality that she wanted desperately to believe was a dream.

“I really… wanted to meet you. Ophelia, I doubt that you’d believe me, but…”

Ah, please.

Let this be a dream. Don’t say it. Please.

“I still love you.”