Once Young

I have heard a legend that the reason why people can't remember things before the age of one is because there are still memories of past lives in their brains when they are babies, and they don't forget all the past lives until they gradually have the memories of this life. So that time becomes a void in our lives.

I was terrified of the blank space, so I pressed my mother where I came from and how I was born. My mother said that before I was born, I was a little ant. She picked me out from a pile of little ants, and asked the doctor in the hospital to breathe fairy air, and the little ant became me.

For a long time, I was secretly thankful that I, and not other ants, were singled out. Because of this, I have a special fondness for ants, and I have never stepped on them on purpose or burned them in the sun with a magnifying glass. When the ants moved  on a rainy day, and my grandmother took the kettle to water the nests of ants in the yard, I cried hard.

From such a young age, I felt that having no memory was a terrible thing. Although I learned later that it would have been an unbearable disaster if the entire memory was preserved. And some memories, often betrayed by one person, will be deeply cherished in another person's heart. But I am still convinced that memory is the proof that a person has existed. When there is no memory, the whole world has nothing to do with oneself.

Even the closest person can't feel any loss if he can't remember his words. Time has no container for accumulation, love has no place to store, and hate has no place to dissolve. Come to think of it, it's downright lonely. How can it be called life? Life should really begin with memory.

so speaking, Xiaochuan's life began on the day he met me.

Brother Xiaochuan is more than two years older than me, and his real name is He Xiaozhou. His real name was given by my father. My father was the first examinee after the resumption of the college entrance examination in 1978. He was the most literate person in the yard, so almost every family's child named by him. My dad is also very serious. The meaning of the name "Xiaozhou" is to hope that he can swim in the sea of learning and ride the waves like a boat, so I called him Brother Xiaochuan since he was a child.

Brother Xiaochuan said that on the day I was born, the sky was very blue and the clouds were beautiful, extending into beautiful lines in the air. His mother was picking lentils in the yard, he was sitting on the small bench next to her and was attracted by a small kowtow bug. Just then, my dad walked into the courtyard beaming.

His mother raised her head and asked, "Mr. Xie, has your wife given birth?"

"She's born! It's a daughter, more than 6 pounds!" My dad said, rubbing Brother Xiaochuan's head, "Xiaozhou, you have a little sister!"

Later, whenever I talked about passage, Brother Xiaochuan would also pat my head with a smile.

I therefore thank God for letting me come to this world on that day.

Time is rushing, the universe is wild, and I, who is as small as a mote of dust, appear in front of him neither earlier nor later, and open the door of his memory. For He Xiaozhou, I am always different others! Just thinking about it makes me feel warm and full of strength.

Because I liked him so much, maybe from the day he remembered me, I liked him fatefully.