Pixiu Restaurant, No Way Out

Wu Zu felt that today the fierce man in his dream was a little different than usual. The man’s usual ferocity, which he was unable to contain, had completely disappeared. Instead, it was replaced by a calm, gentle maternal aura. In his hand, it appeared as if he was holding the Holy Bible instead of the usual Huanggang Mathematics Book.

The student stared at the old demon for a moment, and unable to contain himself, asked: “Did I correctly solve many math problems today?”

In the blink of an eye, Pi Xiu’s softened expression changed. Dragged back to reality by the sudden question, Pi Xiu looked at Wu Zu with a cold smile on his face: “You’re not the best at solving math problems, but you sure are the best when it comes to daydreaming.”

Wu Zu, feeling somewhat relieved that the man was back to normal, said: “Anyone can be great within their own dream. What if everything I dream comes true and I become able to answer all the mathematical problems correctly back in the real world?”

Pi Xiu thought: ‘Then I might as well start dreaming about that dog Taotie paying me back on his own. But compared to Taotie’s guilty conscience, the possibility of Wu Zu understanding mathematics is just pitiful.’

“So… Why are you so happy?” Wu Zu asked. At that moment, Wu Zu also recalled his day, realizing that nothing particularly joyful seemed to have happened to him. Although the dinner had tasted really delicious, Wu Zu hadn’t seen Suzhen all day, so when weighing the positive and negative aspects, Wu Zu didn’t feel one bit happy.

‘As this is the first day I couldn’t see Suzhen-jie all day, I feel depressed.’

On the other hand, Pi Xiu’s face turned serious. As he waved the test paper in his hand, Pi Xiu said: “Children shouldn’t get involved in adult matters.”

Pi Xiu had actually been lost in thought because he was remembering the freshness he experienced during the day. He especially thought of the cooling sensation of Wen Xi snuggling in his arms. With that in mind, Pi Xiu was unable to restrain a smile from growing on his face. ‘It’s said that cats are as flexible as liquid, but that little guy is even more flexible than liquid.’ 

Wen Xi, that little guy as Pi Xiu said, believed he knew a lot about demons simply because he had read some Human books about them. Despite this, Pi Xiu secretly believed that Wen Xi was a little smarter than a cat, and that his courage was almost the same.

But the reality was that Wen Xi didn’t know that there were numerous ways to transmit Yang Qi. It can go from simply sneezing, to fighting with evil spirits. Gathering and transmitting Yang Qi was one of the few things that monsters knew how to do.

However, the current Wen Xi wouldn’t be able to withstand the most intense form of Yang Qi transmission, since even the lightest touch becomes intolerable to him. If Pi Xiu were to really do something else….

Pi Xiu pondered for a moment, and the expression on his face became even more serious when he looked at the student sitting next to him, who had a complex expression on his face. Pi Xiu frowned and asked: “Why are you looking at me like that? If you have time to stare at me, you better spend it solving more problems instead. The joint test is coming up, and our goal is for you to get first place. Do you understand?”

“I understand. But I also think it’s all too complicated.” Wu Zu scratched his head, feeling that his hair seemed to become thinner by the day, and that he felt too much of a chill when the wind passed by.

Pi Xiu: “You should focus on solving the math problems first. If that doesn’t work, I’ll think of another solution.”

“What kind of solution?” Wu Zu’s eyes sparkled as he thought: ‘This fierce-looking man has a physique similar to Will Smith in Aladdin, could it be that he also has the same magical abilities?’

Pi Xiu’s face remained unperturbed: “Then I’ll think of a way to find some supplementary tests for you to keep practicing.”

Wu Zu: “…..”

‘Forgive me. I don’t want to disturb you. I was merely overthinking.’

The student let all the air out of his lungs and collapsed on top of the table, using his fingers to draw imaginary circles in a depressing way: “I didn’t see Suzhen-jie all day, so I don’t have any motivation today. I even told her yesterday that I would bring my classmate to come see her sing….”

Pi Xiu thought to himself: ‘But you didn’t say that you would bring a female classmate with you.’

“Is it because her throat is still bad and her voice doesn’t sound good, or is it because she’s sick?” The more Wu Zu thought about it, the more worried he became, and the test paper in front of him became increasingly unappealing. With a dejected pale face, Wu Zu said: “It has only been one day without being able to hear Suzhen-jie’s beautiful voice and I already find myself unable to sleep or eat well.”

“Having trouble sleeping and eating has no conflict with taking an exam.” Pi Xiu said casually. “If you’re really worried about her, you can just go see her tomorrow morning.”

Wu Zu, still lying on the table, was momentarily stunned. But then he pulled himself together, sat up straight, and began to write rapidly while patting his forehead: “I will hurry to solve all the math problems, so that I can rest early and get up early to go see Suzhen-jie.”

Pi Xiu, coldly and ruthlessly, replied: “Yes, you will hurry to solve those problems, but you will not go to rest early. Today, I will increase the amount of questions for you.”

Wu Zu: “….”

After a long night of tutoring, Pi Xiu finally returned to his body in the real world from the Dream Realm. As soon as he opened his eyes, Pi Xiu turned his head and found Wen Xi’s head resting on his chest, his entire body sprawled all over him, sleeping soundly.

Pi Xiu then looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. ‘It’s 5 in the morning, I came back early today. This is precisely the time the little one sleeps more peacefully.’

Pi Xiu then gently touched Wen Xi’s face and, with utmost care, transferred some Yang Qi to him. Wen Xi, who had tasted the mellowness of the Yang Qi throughout the day yesterday, unconsciously chased after that comfortable feeling. Even though he was still sound asleep, Wen Xi instinctively hugged the old demon’s body even tighter.

As he wrapped his arms around the little one’s waist, the dry heat of Pi Xiu’s body diminished greatly. But at the same time, this closeness made his heart begin to flutter.

‘What’s so good about reincarnating and living as an ordinary person for the rest of your life?’

‘It’s just like Wu Zu’s case. Not only does he have to study for over a decade, but he also has to keep working for decades to obtain something that can rather disappear in the blink of an eye. As long as the little one stays by my side, serving as a good cooling pillow, he won’t have to worry about things like wealth, fame or material possessions that Humans crave so much.’

‘After all, I’ll never be able to find a cooling pillow as suitable for me as this little Ghost. Plus, raising a little Ghost doesn’t even require me to spend that much money….’

While Pi Xiu was lost in thought, the person in his arms suddenly moved. When Pi Xiu looked down, he caught Wen Xi’s eyes staring at him.

Wen Xi still had a sleepy face and drowsy eyes, so with his eyes barely open, he mumbled a question: “What time is it?”

“It’s 5 in the morning.” Pi Xiu brushed a lock of hair away from Wen Xi’s face and tucked it behind his ear. “Go back to sleep and rest a while longer.”

Wen Xi broke away from Pi Xiu’s arms and dropped onto the bed on his side. As he yawned, Wen Xi said: “I’ll sleep a little longer…..”

Yesterday, after receiving and absorbing the old demon’s Yang Qi, Wen Xi felt so comfortable that he fell asleep in an instant. Even though he had gone to bed early last night, his entire Ghost body still felt sluggish, so he was unable to wake up properly.

As he laid on his side, Wen Xi gradually began to feel cold, so he ended up opening his eyes to look at Pi Xiu. At that moment, Wen Xi noticed that the old demon had his eyes closed, as if he was already asleep. Wen Xi hesitated for a moment, but finally slowly leaned over until he was glued to Pi Xiu’s arm.

Pi Xiu raised his hand and wrapped his arm around Wen Xi’s body: “What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t fall asleep?” Feeling a little embarrassed, Wen Xi cleared his throat and said: “I thought you were sleeping, so I wanted to move closer and cover you with a blanket.”

“Who could fall asleep so quickly? Do you think I’m like you?” Pi Xiu hugged the little guy as he felt the coolness emanating from his body penetrate his own warm skin. Faced with such a refreshing sensation, Pi Xiu began to feel drowsy, so he began to fall asleep surrounded by the sweet aroma of Wen Xi’s body.

However, the drowsiness didn’t last long, as there was a sudden loud rumbling coming from outside, followed by the sound of energetic music resounding all around. The loud sound reminded all those who were still sleeping that they should wake up and “be a good man who strives for self-improvement every day1!”

Pi Xiu: “….”

In an instant, the tender atmosphere in the room was shattered. Unable to fall asleep again with the little one in his arms, Pi Xiu got up wrathfully, walking over to the window to see who was so keen to get up early and dance to the music in the plaza. Pi Xiu was already determined to send that group of idiots to the Heavens.

As soon as he opened the window, the resounding melody of “A Good Man Must Improve Himself” was instantly drowned out by the melody of “Little Apple2.”

If there was a list of “top ten songs for Plaza Dancing,” Pi Xiu believed that the silly song “Little Apple” would undoubtedly take the first place.

The men’s inspirational song and the brainwashing song mingled in the plaza as two groups of people danced chaotically. Seeing this, Pi Xiu felt that the joys and sorrows of the Demons were fucking incomprehensible. The crowd seemed to be having a great time, but besides being annoyed by the noise, Pi Xiu didn’t care about anything else.

Wen Xi, upon hearing all the noise, also got out of bed. With a frown on his face, he asked: “What is all this noise? It’s even louder than playing the suona3.”

Pi Xi replied coolly: “They are jumping on their graves.”

“Eh? What is that?” Wen Xi leaned over to take a look and discovered that there were two groups of people. One group wore white practice robes and held double-edged swords, the other group wore colorful, extravagant clothing.

The two groups seemed to be facing each other, standing opposite of each other, like two rival territories separated by a border. Wen Xi couldn’t quite hear what they were saying, so he pushed at Pi Xiu and asked: “Who are they and why are they arguing? Are they Humans?”

Pi Xiu shook his head with a gloomy expression on his face: “They’re not. One group are the Yaochi Immortals4, and the other are the Twelve Golden Immortals5.” Pi Xiu then turned his attention back on the two groups and overheard their conversation, “Both sides are fighting over the same spot for morning practice.”

Wen Xi choked: “They’re fighting over something as silly as that?”

Pi Xiu nodded. Right when he was about to close the window, he saw a red object speeding towards the Restaurant from across the street. When he fixed his eyes on that object and saw what it was, Pi Xiu immediately cursed.

It was Wu Zu. Wu Zu was pedaling a shared red bicycle, going at such a speed that he was almost standing still on the bicycle. The wind ruffled his hair, revealing the concerning hairline and pimples on his forehead. However, nothing could ruin his heart, as he was eager to see Jia Suzhen.

Pi Xiu sighed, thinking: ‘This brat isn’t serious about studies, but he’s full of enthusiasm when it comes to seeing women!’

Wu Zu pedaled the bicycle, almost out of breath, until he finally reached the entrance of Pi Xiu’s Restaurant, feeling his legs burning with pain as if he had been pedaling on a spinning bicycle for miles. If he did this a few more times, he wouldn’t need to spend money to go to the gym after the University Entrance Exam.

Wu Zu got off his bicycle in high spirits and walked into the Restaurant with the beat of the drum of “A Good Man Must Improve Himself”, with his school bag still hanging on his back. The Monkey Spirit, seeing a familiar customer enter, hurried to greet him: “We’re not open in the morning. We don’t serve breakfast.”

“I’m not here to eat, I’m here to see someone.” Wu Zu looked around the Restaurant, but no matter what, he didn’t see Jia Suzhen. Wu Zu asked: “Is Suzhen-jie here?”

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The Monkey Spirit couldn’t help, but think to himself: ‘I’ve heard eerie cries almost all night, so I guess Suzhen-jie must still be asleep.’

Just as the Monkey Spirit was about to deny that Jia Suzhen was available, he heard the sound of the sliding door behind him slam open. At that moment, Jia Suzhen stepped out, and Wu Zu’s eyes lit up at the sight of her. Wu Zu then hurriedly opened his backpack and took out a plastic bag, which he stuffed into Jia Suzhen’s arms.

Wu Zu: “I don’t know the condition of your throat, so I bought some Watermelon flavored throat spray, cough drops and mallow nuts. I also bought some pears on the way.”

Jia Suzhen froze, stared at him and asked: “It’s 5:30 in the morning. When did you buy this?”

“At the 24-hour convenience store.” Wu Zu scratched his head in embarrassment. “It’s too early and the fruit market hasn’t opened yet, so I don’t know if these pears are sweet.”

Jia Suzhen seemed to be in a trance for a moment. She was looking at Wu Zu’s ordinary face in front of her, but it was as if she was looking at the handsome Scholar from hundreds of years ago. She remembered that moment in a small alley behind the theater, where on a moonless night, secret whispers were hidden between a woman and a man.

The Scholar, who came out of the Prime Minister’s Residence, tainted with the smell of alcohol, unwrapped some fruits he took out of the Residence and placed them in the woman’s arms. With makeup still on her face, and still dressed in the red official’s costume from the play “Emperor’s Female Son-in-law”, even if she were to blush, no one would notice.

He wasn’t sure if the pears he had taken from the Prime Minister’s Residence were sweet or not.

Jia Suzhen wanted to say that they must be sweet, but at that moment, a car passing in front of the Restaurant made the morning sunlight to reflect on the window and fell into her eyes, making her come back to her senses. Then, Jia Suzhen suppressed her innumerable thoughts and emotions, smiled, then simply said: “Thank you.”

“Suzhen-jie, if your throat still feels uncomfortable, you should go to the hospital. Minor problems that aren’t treated in time may develop into serious problems later on.” Wu Zu said as he smiled at Jia Suzhen again. “I’m off to school then. See you later, Suzhen-jie.”

“Bye.” Jia Suzhen waved her hand and watched as Wu Zu rode away on the red bicycle.

The young man rode away into the morning light, while Jia Suzhen stood under the shade of the Restaurant’s eaves, watching as that figure on the red bicycle turned a corner to finally disappear into the crowd.

Jia Suzhen’s eyes reddened, and as she hugged the plastic bag tightly, she crouched down. The Spirit Monkey just stood there, scratching his head, not knowing how to comfort her. All he could do was squat down beside Jia Suzhen and say to her: “Suzhen-jie, if you hug that bag any tighter, the pears will end up crushed and you won’t be able to eat them.”

Jia Suzhen stiffened and immediately relaxed her grip.

The Spirit Monkey added: “Don’t cry. Isn’t it good to have someone that brings you fruit? If my little brothers had a peach, they would surely eat the entire thing, even the pit and wouldn’t leave me a single peach fuzz.”

Jia Suzhen wiped the tears from her face and said: “Yes, it’s too good.”

In her life, only two people had been good to Jia Suzhen. One was the Scholar, and the other was his reincarnation. Despite having gone through a reincarnation, he was still the same person. For Jia Suzhen, having such a person in her life was more than enough.

Jia Suzhen wiped away her tears, stood up, and turned around. However, just at that moment, Jia Suzhen found her boss, Pi Xiu, standing on the stairs. Jia Suzhen briefly paused before immediately adjusting her expression and calling out: “Boss.”

Pi Xiu had seen everything that happened a few moments ago, and upon seeing that Jia Suzhen hadn’t done anything excessive, he waved his hand: “Go wash your face in the back. When the customers come later, if they see your face covered with tears of blood, they won’t know what’s going on and will be frightened.”

The Monkey Spirit stepped aside and interjected: “Boss, we don’t serve breakfast. There won’t be any customers this early.”

Pi Xiu replied: “Just because we don’t offer breakfast now, doesn’t mean we won’t in the future. The cooking skills of you, Monkeys, aren’t that good, but at least you can make some steamed buns6, steamed stuffed buns7 or wowotou8. You have to pay attention to all-round development, you know? Last time I gave you guys a book, have you and your siblings finished reading it? When you finish, you can go learn how to make steamed buns.”

Monkey spirit: “….”

‘Hey, is this the Animal Protection Association? Someone here is torturing monkeys!’

Footnotes

Lyrics from the song《男儿当自强》“A Good Man Must Improve Himself” adapted from the ancient tune《将军令》“General’s Orders”.《小苹果》A song sung by the Chopstick Brothers.唢呐 suǒ nà; Chinese shawm (oboe), used in festivals and processions or for military purposes. Looks something like THIS.瑶池仙 yáo chí xiān; Immortals or Celestial Beings who reside in the mythical “Jade Lake on Mount Kunlun” (residence of Queen Mother of the West) in Chinese mythology. The Jade Lake is often portrayed as a paradisiacal place where divine beings, particularly female Immortals and Goddesses, gather. In Chinese folklore and Taoist mythology, it’s considered a Heavenly Realm, associated with beauty, purity, and spiritual enlightenment.十二金仙 shí èr jīn xiān; The Twelve Golden Immortals in Chinese mythology and Taoist belief are a group of highly revered and powerful Immortals who have achieved enlightenment and attained various magical abilities. Each of the Twelve Golden Immortals is associated with different attributes, practices, and symbols.馒头 mán ​tou; Traditional Chinese steamed bread made from wheat flour, yeast, and water. Looks like THIS.包子 bāo ​zi; It’s a type of bun or stuffed bread usually steamed, whose appearance is similar to the traditional steamed bun (馒头 mán ​tou). It can be stuffed with minced meat or vegetarian stuffing. Looks like THIS.窝窝头 wō ​wō ​tou; Also called Chinese cornbread, it’s a specialty from Northern China, particularly in the Shandong and Hebei provinces. Unlike 馒头 (mán ​tou) and 包子 (bāo ​zi), which are usually made from yeast-leavened dough, the wowotou is made from unleavened dough. The dough is typically made from cornmeal, water, and sometimes a small amount of wheat or millet flour. Looks like THIS.