Chapter 33: I’m nothing
Tears overflowed from the dress, the tears continued to flow like a flood once they started.
“I wanted to be a good girl…”
The beautiful red dress was now stained with deep crimson tears. The makeup I put on carefully was sure to be a mess.
Sick Beauty [Rebirth] Chapter 1
What a horrible person. Why do I have to hear such things? How cruel.
I don’t want Julian-sama or anything.
“Lili, why did you have to disappear… without you, I…”
Various emotions surfaced and disappeared within me. It felt like there were two of me in one body, and my heart was about to break into pieces.
I want to be a good girl, I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I don’t even want to hurt myself.
Lili, my beloved Lili. Without you, I am nothing.
But, I couldn’t resist. I am a Duke Quatra’s daughter, and I cannot live without that title. No matter how much I am spoiled, there are always things that don’t go my way.
And maybe, somewhere deep down, I was pushing Lili away. Perhaps I thought it was foolish to expect people to be kind, proud, and caring.
So in the end, I went with the easy route, unable to resist my mother’s pressure. I was a useless child.
“…Sorry. I spoke too much.”
Julian-sama said quietly and offered me a handkerchief. I turned my face away and refused it with a flick of my hand.
“If you hate me that much, please end our engagement.”
“Aliseteen.”
“I’m just tired.”
Tears would soak my pillow every night, afraid of the future that awaited me. Feeling guilty after behaving recklessly, tearing my heart apart. Despite being loved so much, I still felt lonely and wished for someone to hold me.
I was just exhausted. If I continued to be Julian-sama’s fiancée and Princess Chai returned to this country as before, I would probably treat her harshly.
And once again, I will die alone, abandoned by everyone. At this point, there’s no way for me to change the future anyway.
So, I might as well enter a convent and live a modest life while devoting myself to God. I’ll try to stay in my room as much as possible and not socialize with anyone, quietly living my life. Although I’ll still be alone, it’s much better than being condemned.
“You’re right, Julian-sama. I’ve completely become a bad child. So please, just leave me alone.”
“Wait, Aliseteen.”
“Goodbye, Julian-sama.”
My tears had dried and my face was twitching. But now, it doesn’t matter anymore. In the end, I couldn’t make use of the chance I was given.
I always blamed the environment, my family or people around me, but in the end, it was just that I myself was an irredeemable fool.
Ignoring Julian-sama’s warning, I lifted my dress and ran away from the scene.
Upon seeing the horrible state that I was in, Okaa-sama and my aunt screamed in terror and became the center of attention in a negative way, but I couldn’t bring myself to put on a façade.
Knowing that there was no reason for me to stay here, I climbed into the carriage before Okaa-sama and the others. Right before that, I made eye contact with Julian-sama, who had followed me while gasping for breath, but I cut off that connection.
Ironically, his cruel words became the trigger that brought me back to my senses.
But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever be grateful to him.
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