Chapter 56: Can’t accept
Even after two years, he’s still noisy. It feels like his voice is still lingering even though he’s already left.
“Alise seems to like him.”
“That’s a misunderstanding. We’re just having a regular conversation.”
“I don’t know about that.”
Saying so with a pout, Julian-sama rests his chin on top of my head.
“It’s heavy! Please stop!”
“Are you referring to my feelings for you?”
“No, I’m not!”
As our conversation reaches a dead end, I twist my body and resist him with force, causing him to pout like a child.
“Alise told me once, you know? That thoughts won’t be conveyed unless you say them out loud.”
“Julian-sama, we’re too close!”
“I’m already holding back quite a bit, you know.”
As I look at him casually saying this, I can’t help but feel foolish for being so angry with a red face.
I let out a big sigh and unconsciously my expression darkens.
“You don’t really know the real me, Julian-sama. If you did, you wouldn’t say those same words.”
“Alise.”
“I’m cheating, so…”
Unexpectedly, I blurted out something I never intended to say and quickly looked at Julian-sama’s face. Unable to bear the sadness in his eyes, I lowered my gaze.
“Alise.”
“I’m sorry, please don’t mind it.”
“Listen, Alise.”
His finger gently touches my weakly hanging hand, and I unconsciously flinch.
“I know you’ve been troubled about something for a long time, and I also know it’s not easy to talk about it.”
“Julian-sama…”
“I like you.”
His touching finger suddenly feels warm to me, and I feel like my heart is going to burn with sadness.
I just couldn’t bring myself to accept his feelings honestly. After all, he will eventually fall in love with Princess Chai, who came to this country.
After all, a fake can never beat the real thing.
“Don’t cry, Alise.”
“I’m not crying.”
I couldn’t bear his touch anymore, so I quietly turned away.
Even though I realize that I am hurting him, there’s nothing I can do. Because I am scared.
I already know it. Julian-sama’s appeal is not limited to his appearance. If I acknowledge the reason for this pain in my heart, I’m afraid there will be no turning back. I don’t want to be taken away.
I don’t want to die. I don’t want to experience such a miserable end again. If I fall in love with Julian-sama now, then…
“I like you, Alise.”
As he confesses his feelings again from behind me, I hold back my voice and shed a single tear.
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