The Guide

Hey guys, I'm currently writing chapter 5 and there's something I want to know.

Do you guys mind extremely broken english?

I'm not really good at doing that, but the time period demands it. Why? Considering the Tagan's brains aren't as developed as modern humans yet, they have a very simple thought process. Even though the ones introduced in the next chapter will be smarter, but not enough time has passed for them to develop the necessary cognitive abilities to be compared to modern man.

I'm stuck between 2 styles. One's semi-modern who I think is too advanced for the period and one's so primitive that writing it is both giving me a headache and causing my grammar senses to go haywire and I personally think it's a crime.

Here's a sample of both:

The semi-modern one:

{

Cold… So cold…

Cave is cold…

I hate cold… I hate snow…

I hug mama, but mama is also cold…

Please, let cave be warm… please…

Listen, young child.

A voice in my head? I heard about it before.

I look at a carving in the corner, "Awa?".

Some in cave look at me. Some laugh at me, others just ignore me.

Maybe it is the cold. Playing tricks.

}

The extremely primitive one:

{

Cold… So cold…

Cave is cold…

I hate cold… I hate snow…

I hug mama, but mama is also cold…

Please, cave be warm… please…

Listen, young child.

Voice in head? heard about before.

I look, carving in corner, "Awa?".

Some in cave look. Some laugh, others ignore.

Maybe cold. Playing tricks.

}

Please tell me which to use.

I also made this on RoyalRoad and I'm going to write the chapter on the sum of both sites.