We Lost Our Engagement

“Prince Lochlan.”

There was a certainty in April’s voice as she called him.

He could even sense her will not to be deceived, so Lochlan stood there, unable to give any answer.

The darkness was still deep.

At this moment, even the faint sound of prayers from afar stopped.

Probably because all the people in the hall were also about to extinguish their candles and say goodbye to the dead.

He waited a little longer, and then he heard April’s light footsteps. Careful steps. It was as if she was approaching a wild animal that was poised to flee at any moment.

Tak, the sound of footsteps approaching again.

Lochlan took an involuntary step back.

Soon, though, there was a squeaking sound on the old wooden floor and he began to regret it.

This time, April’s steps were not hesitant as she knew the direction Lochlan was in. The sound of her shoes was quickening slightly.

Lochlan kept his head turned and both eyes closed.

***

Dominic was red, and Lochlan was blue.

It all started with a small ribbon sign that the royal physician had tied loosely around their ankles at the time the twin princes were born.

For about seven years after that, the royal family distinguished between the two children by color.

The child with the red one was Dominic , and the child with the blue one was Lochlan.

The mischievous Dominic would occasionally steal the blue, but Lochlan never wore red.

I knew why the adults made such a thorough distinction between the princes.

They were born with the same appearance, but Dominic was noble and Lochlan was ordinary. The beautiful father always asked the young Lochlan, over and over again. 

‘You must never try to take Dominic’s noble position. You must acquire the knowledge that is natural as his reserve, prepare thoroughly to replace Dominic at any time, and promise that you will never take advantage of this.’

Not befriending noblemen and extravagant families, and should not isolate himself and create unnecessary seeds of conflict.

The gentle Lochlan fulfilled exactly what his father said.

Even when Dominic’s world expanded and he began to mingle with the children of other families, Lochlan always kept quiet.

It wasn’t too difficult, since no one was interested in him anyway. Except for one girl.

April Campbell.

The young girl followed the old Count Campbell in and out of the royal household, sometimes meeting the princes as well.

When the adults told the children to go play in the garden because it was sunny, April would hoover around Lochlan, hiding behind the tree.

“Brother’s over there.”

When Lochlan told her to go, April would go to Dominic for a while, but then she would stay somewhere in Lochlan’s field of vision.

That didn’t mean she was going to talk to Lochlan in particular.

‘A strange girl. ……’

Then one day, Dominic showed up wearing blue along with Lochlan.

Dominic was quite used to imitating Lochlan, and he succeeded in fooling many of the adults.

Lochlan didn’t want to interfere with Dominic’s fun, so he decided to spend the day as quietly and inconspicuously as possible.

Then that day, Count Campbell visited the royal family with his young granddaughter. Excited, Dominic rushed to April’s side and immediately played ‘Lochlan.’

“Hello, Miss Campbell.”

The garden where they had exchanged greetings was not far from where Lochlan was reading his book, and naturally Lochlan watched their conversation.

“Ah.”

April just stared up at Dominic with a surprised look on her face.

It was as if she was someone who sensed something was different.

Clank.

At that moment, the thick book fell to the ground from Lochlan’s hands, who was completely attentive to the girl’s reaction.

With that noise, April finally looked in his direction.

When their gazes met, a smile finally spread across April’s slightly stiffened face. It was as if she was saying, ‘I found him.’

She quickly greeted Dominic with her usual cheerful face and ran to where Lochlan was.

The sound of her small feet approaching him was vivid, even in the ruffling wind of the leaves.

As the distance grew shorter and shorter, Lochlan realized that there was hope in his racing heart.

‘Miss Campbell likes me better than my brother. …She might think I’m important.’

There was a strange sense of triumph.

It became more and more vivid as he watched his brother’s embarrassed face as he stared at April’s back.

For the first time in his life, the emotion he felt was unfamiliar, but it wasn’t bad.

When April finally approached him, she smiled and greeted him.

“Hello, Prince Lochlan!”

In that brief moment, Lochlan realized.

There was an empty space in a corner of his heart that had never been filled with anything before, he just hadn’t realized it.

“I was afraid I wouldn’t see the Prince today.”

And April had filled him, fitting perfectly in that empty space.

 “I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to see you too, Miss Campbell.”

 Finally, he answered with a light smile. Everything was sincere.

****

In the deep darkness April was getting closer. 

Lochlan’s heart raced again, but it wasn’t the same as when he was a child with high hopes.

He was anxious and irritated.

At the same time, a desire surged through him. He wanted to fill that corner of his heart again that only she could fill……

It would not be very difficult to do so. All Lochlan had to do was reach out his arm and pull her close, lean his lips against her round forehead and whisper to her in a way that no one else in the world could understand. 

“I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to see you too, Miss Campbell.”

He was sure that when she gets the truth, she will give him the mercy to forgive all. Not only that, but even that he does not belong in the realm of purity. 

It was also something that Lochlan had been imagining and craving without telling her until now. Before he knew it, she was right in front of him, and her hands were lightly touching his chest.

April seemed to bump into him as she walked, sticking her hand out in the darkness. Her hands fell away with a startling sound of breathing.

Lochlan flinched and stepped aside, but unfortunately, he felt sorry.

****

‘Did I catch him?’ Her hands, which fell away for a while, came closer. It was a hand that seemed to confirm it somehow.

Lochlan knew he should avoid it, but he remained frozen in place, unable to move.

April’s hand stopped over his heart. He couldn’t hide his maddeningly beating pulse, she had him all caught up.

Feeling more certain, April took another step closer and grasped both his cheeks.

They were so close that their bodies were almost touching each other. Lochlan bit his lip. It was because he wanted to give in to this gentle temptation and say anything.

“I was afraid. I wonder if I’ll ever meet my prince. ……….”

April’s whispering voice was mixed with a little cry.

“… Prince Lochlan.”

She tugged at his cheek, which didn’t move slightly. Lochlan just lowered his head at her call.

“At first I thought I’d made a mistake.” (April)

Somehow, in the darkness of his accustomed vision, he could see April’s blue eyes and softly opened red lips.

“But now I’m convinced. Perhaps you do it this way to do important work that I do not know about.” (April)

“….”

“If you don’t mind….” (April)

The hands that had been gripping his cheeks came down over his shoulders and squeezed both of his arms.

“Can I be with you?” (April)

April pulled his hands a little closer, as if she was afraid he would say no. And their upper bodies were now in full contact.

“I will not interfere with your work. I will not beg the prince to return to his place.” (April)

Lochlan did not reply, and April’s pleading continued. She was 

still staring at him.

“A person next to you…..Just someone who knows the real Prince…” (April)

That’s right. Perhaps with April by his side, Lochlan would breathe easier in red.

April was the only person who would recognize him anyway.

“Please…keep me close. I’m the only human you’ll ever need.” (April)

April’s seductive words made Lochlan reach for her. But he stopped immediately.

“Prince Lochlan, please.”

“…”

He finally took his gaze away from hers.

Once again relying on his pitch-black vision, Lochlan remembered Dominic who was murdered.

Now, something cruel was approaching the royal family. Or it was already here.

He couldn’t let April be in danger with him.

She must have been in a lot of pain. It was time for her to enjoy her own happiness. 

“Now…..”

Lochlan turned and finally opened his mouth.

“It seems you really can’t tell us apart anymore, April.”

“Prince!”

April exclaimed, tugging even harder on his arm.

“Please, for me…..”

“Do you want me to tell you the truth?” (Lochlan)

April’s body flinched in surprise as Lochlan’s voice sharpened.

“Why me?” (Lochlan)

“……What?” 

 “Why would you demand such a thing of me so brazenly?” (Lochlan)

April clung to him, refusing to give up.

“I’m the prince’s fiancée!” 

“My brother’s fiancé, to be precise. And people change their mind all the time.” (Lochlan)

“Please….”

“Besides, I’ve yielded a hundred times, even when you assumed I’m Lochlan.”

April stared at him with trembling eyes, and Lochlan sighed and ruffled his golden hair.

“If I was Lochlan, I would have tried to keep you close by any means necessary.”

“…..”

“I would never have returned the token that I cared as much as you did.”

“…..”

“Most importantly, I would never have even told you to marry another man.”

April’s hands that were holding him were slowly coming undone.

The body that touched him was also slowly pulling away.

“…Prince, then, tell me.”

Taking another step backward, April placed her hands in front of her chest. She clasped her hands together but she couldn’t stop shaking.

“You don’t want me anymore.”

“….”

“Look straight at me and tell me.”

Lochlan bit his lip briefly. But he quickly made up his mind and looked up with a numb expression.

There was no way he was going to bring her into danger, no way he was going to waste her time with mischief, no way he was going to instill useless hope in her.

“If you wish so much, I will tell you. April.”

Lochlan decided to say goodbye to her in his own way.

Even in order not to leave any regrets for each other.

“I’ve changed my mind now. I don’t want you anymore. Also….”

As cold as possible, as if there was no need to think further.

“Your foolish emotions can only get in the way of what I’m trying to do. So please…”

He smiled, suppressing his taut emotions. He hoped she wouldn’t be able to notice his quivering lips.

“April, will you please break up with me now?”

Finally, he bowed politely, just as he had asked her for her betrothal at the door of the Campbell’s house that day when she was ten years old.