Episode 41 – Not a Bad Regret

“Eh, wait, Yua…!”

Before I could stop her, Yua threw her blouse onto the bed.

She was exposed to her bare skin and underwear, and I turned my head away like an owl.

“W-what’s the matter? Calm down.”

I heard a rustling sound. The sound of something falling on the bed. I think she’s taken off her skirt, too.

“Please look at me.”

“That’s a little…..”

“Why?”

“Because, you know, excessive exposure is…”

“I’m the best just the way I am, right?　Then look at me.”

Yua walked up to my side. I turned my head away more and more.

“That’s not what I meant by–“

“What do you mean then?”

“I-I mean, just like Yua…..”

“I don’t understand ! I’m the one doing this !”

I had no choice but to keep silent at the sound of her sad voice.

What we need now is not logic. There’s no point telling someone who’s soaking wet in the rain that, ‘someday the rain will stop’.

It’s not Azuki san who made her feel anxious. It’s me. I said, ‘Yua is the best just the way she is,’ and then I dodged her affection, so it was natural that she didn’t have confidence in herself.

At that moment, a drop of water fell on the carpet and made a small stain.

I glanced up at Yua.

She was crying. Tears streamed down her cheeks and dripped down her chin.

Her white skin, pale blue underwear, three dimensional breasts, and waist were in my vision, but my attention was mostly focused on Yua’s face.

Her cheeks and her nose were red, and her beautiful face was crumpled and distorted as she cried.

I was shocked. You may think it’s inappropriate. But I thought her crying face was cuter than any other expression I had ever seen.

Yua hid her face with her arms.

“D-don’t look at me after all……”

“Why?”

“Because I’m ugly right now……!”

The walls that had protected my heart for so many years fell down, defeated by my overwhelming feelings for her.

There was nothing to hold me back.

I stood up. I faced her and said, 

“You’re so cute.”

“…Eh?”

She lowered her arms that were hiding her face.

The expression on her face was a little strange. I grabbed Yua by the shoulders and put my lips to hers.

I was going to let go immediately, but the softness and comfort of the touch made me leave them attached for a few seconds. But Yua accepted it without resistance.

Our faces parted. Our eyes meet.

Yua’s eyes widened and she looked away. It was the first time for her to be embarrassed and turn away first.

I felt embarrassed, happy, and a little bit superior.

“Hey, I thought that excessive contact was forbidden.”

Yua said in a strangely high-pitched voice.

“I guess so.”

“Isn’t it not good?”

“Yup.”

“……Then, what are you going to do?”

“You’re right. Well then–“

I said. In order not to regret it anymore.

–No, that’s not it.

The feeling that I have at the school festival– In order to have a ‘not a bad regret’ I decided to take a step forward.

“Let’s stop the ‘pretending girlfriend’.”

“……That means.”

“We don’t need re-a-son anymore.”

Yua looked up at me.

“Then, I…….”

I nodded.

Yua’s face seemed to be smiling, crying, happy, embarrassed, and a whole lot more emotions. 

“Seita kun !”

It seems that her emotion exploded in an instant. She hugged my chest with tremendous force.

“Gohoo !?”

All the breath in my lungs was pushed out. On top of that, I can’t breathe because of the tightness of the hug. I can’t even afford to get excited about being hugged by a girl in her underwear.

“Y-Yua….I-I’m dying…..!”

“I, too, felt happy that I’m going to die……”

–I’m going to die for real……!

At that moment, her arms suddenly relaxed. I inhaled and exhaled with my lungs full of air.

–I’m saved….

Yua lowered her eyes and said in a damp voice.

“I wish I had met Seita kun first……”

Yua’s past experiences cannot be categorized as ‘not bad regrets’. Nor can I erase them.

“Yua.”

I clasped Yua’s face between my hands and turned it to the front.

“Y-yes.”

“Now I’m here.”

“……? Uh-huh.”

“I’m the one who likes you.”

“…….”

“So, Yua, you only have to look at me here and now. Don’t look at the regrets from your past or the uncertainties of the future.”

“….Okay.”

I removed my hand from Yua’s face and averted my gaze.

“And then, to tell the truth……every time you regret something, you think of your ex-boyfriend, right? That makes me a little, you know……, jealous. I said before that it doesn’t matter, but I can’t say I’m fine with it…….”

Yua was taken aback.

“Seita kun, you surprisingly have a sense of monopolization.”

“I didn’t say that……’

“Then, please love me so much that I won’t be able to think about the past.”

And smiled. I smiled back.

“Yeah.”

The arm that was around my back, tightened and pulled me. She seemed to be leading me somewhere.

Yua leaned back almost as if she was going to fall over.

Behind her was a bed. She seemed to be trying to pull me down there.

“Wait, wait……!”

I held Yua as if I was lifting her up.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong with you….!”

I cough.

“I’m telling you, I won’t do it, okay?”

“……..Eh?”

Yua’s voice turned inside out.

“Eh, that’s exactly how it’s going to end up, right !?”

Confession, girlfriend in underwear, bed, words of “I love you,” parents away. There’s no mistake that the flows are going in that direction.

It’s just–

“I’m not ready.”

“That’s a girl’s line !”

Let the boys have it too !”

“Then when will you be ready?”

“That’s when……, you know, when you become independent, or something like that…..”

“So complicated.”

Yua smiled bitterly.

“Well, but I knew Seita kun was that kind of person… No, it’s because you are that kind of person that I fell in love with you. I’ll wait.”

“…My bad.”

“There’s no need to be rushing.”

And there was no sense of urgency on her smiling face like there had been before.

–It’s kind of dangerous…….

Up until now, I have been pressured by Yua, who has been coming at me so hard that I have refused to let myself be swept away. However, taking such a rude attitude made me feel so bad, on the contrary, I feel like my reason will be crushed.

Yua picked up the clothes she had taken off.

She sat down with her face downcast, I was still very conscious of the fact that a beautiful, half-naked girl was in front of me.

“What’s the matter? You just slumped down.”

“No, it’s just that……

The corners of Yua’s mouth twisted into a smile.

“Ah, perhaps you were embarrassed?”

“….”

“It’s okay, Seita kun, you were really cool, and I was happy.”

Its seems that she misunderstood that it was a confession line.

No. It’s not, but when I think about it, I think that line of confession was really bad.

I said it was for the sake of having a not a bad regret….

–It’s still embarrassing…..!

I covered my hot face with my hands.