Where Winter is Warm Where Summer is Cool

Xi Xichen’s eyes flashed when he saw me, before quickly hiding it. Standing up, he put down Jian Yulin and said lightly, “Come down and have breakfast.”

I didn’t expect him to say this, and after a second’s delay, I habitually refused. 

“No need.”

“It’s not wise to express your displeasure in that way,” he said.

I knew what he meant, but apparently, he got the wrong idea. I wasn’t the type to use myself as a bargaining chip to play mental warfare.

He turned to Jian Yulin. 

“Go wash your face and brush your teeth first, then go downstairs for breakfast, eh?” 

His tone was soft. He seemed to only return to his human side when he was talking to Yulin.

“You come along too,” he said, looking up at me.

I don’t think you’re wrong to say that to me, but what is this gentleness? I guess he has forgotten for a moment that I am Jian Anjie and not Jian Yulin.

Naturally, I wouldn’t join them. For one thing, I was not in the habit of eating breakfast, and even if I were, I’d never eat with someone I was actively trying to avoid.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed the young master of the Jian family approaching me slowly.

I narrowed my eyes and subconsciously straightened my body, but couldn’t help lowering my head.

“Sister, would you like to have breakfast with me?” The tone was pitiful and the eyes were red and full of sympathy.

Yulin’s plea failed to overcome my stubborn pride. When the boy got enough courage to move in front of me, he reached out to take my hand. However, I only touched his warm, soft fingers for an instant before quickly dropping them.

“Sister,” His damp eyes looked at me with the demeanour of a small deer.

Xichen’s tone dropped a bit, “You should be able to tell that Yulin likes you a lot.”

His words made me flinch and my eyes dimmed, “Heh, like, so should I come and bow down to you for this cheap boon?” 

What had already been completely given up, now brought out as a handout, would only be an abomination.

Xichen stared at me, a touch of sadness surfacing in his dark pupils.

The sudden sound of my mobile ringing broke the silence in the room. It was Piao Zheng’s number. 

I walked towards the balcony, deliberately ignoring the two people in the room. 

“What’s wrong?” 

I hoped it wasn’t something to do with my mother. That would be a lot more difficult to deal with. “It’s me.”

I froze but wasn’t too surprised. 

“I knew you wouldn’t answer my calls, so….” there was a bit of bitterness in his voice. “Something wrong?”

He paused, then said angrily, “Don’t just tell me that every time!” 

I laughed from the bottom of my heart. 

“What do I have to tell you then?”

“You….” he trailed off with obvious surprise in his voice. “I want to see you now. Don’t say no!”

He had never had much patience but was surprisingly resilient. 

After a moment’s thought, I gave in, mostly because of my own selfishness. I also wanted to see him again before I left.

“Nine o’clock, Cafe Tortoni.”

“I said now!” He always used a commanding tone when he was in a hurry. 

I sighed. 

“Yelin, you know I could have answered otherwise.”

He thought for a moment before finally compromising. 

“Okay, nine o’clock, I’ll wait for you.”

I pressed the end call button and leaned over the carved balustrade. The view outside was still familiar, with the same trees, road, and houses. I remembered not liking to go out much as a child, and the only voluntary contact I made with the outside world had been from this balcony. It felt safe to only look from a distance.

It had been a kind of congenital, self-imposed isolation. 

How does this so-called autism get better later on? It seems to be incurable. Going to strange places, being forced to accept them, to face them, and then finally gaining the ability to rip off the veneer of vulnerability in pain and defeat after pain and defeat, slowly becoming selfish, mocking, vicious and heartless….

I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do that. It’s impossible to go back to the old days, even if I want to be the same self-absorbed and gloomy Jian Anjie again.