You Have the Right to Keep a Secret Love

Chapter 3: “Qi Xi, I can never be friends with you.”

Qi Xi and Gu Yan’s eyes met briefly, like a strange tranquility on the eve of a major battle between two enemies.

Qi Xi showed a friendly smile to Gu Yan, and Gu Yan’s handsome face sank almost immediately.

Gu Xuehan hadn’t realize the strange atmosphere, and she still had some emotion from before, “Gu Yan, since Qi Xi is also your classmate, don’t hide it. You have suffered a huge grievance. I didn’t ask you to do this, but resolutely unwilling to sue the other party? What is the matter with you? If you don’t protect your own rights, how could you protect others’ rights as a lawyer? Qi Xi, don’t you think so?”

How could Qi Xi say yes? She looked at Gu Yan with a smile and said, “Well, Gu Yan is a generous and tolerant person who could steer a boat in the prime minister’s presence. Because of this, I actually admired Gu Yan very much during college. Gu Yan’s generosity is what I would like to model after…”

Gu Xuehan frowned, “You can endure such a thing, Gu Yan?”

Ignoring Gu Yan’s cold gaze, Qi Xi pretended to be calm, “Yes Lawyer Gu, I think that although lawyers should be good at offence, they should also learn to yield. I am merciful and my Lord is generous. To be forgiven and to forgive others as he says.”

Gu Xuehan was a little surprised, “You are a devout Buddhist despite being so young?”

Qi Xi was about to clasp her hands together to shout for love and peace. She nodded solemnly, “Yes, I believe in Buddhism. It’s good for your health and mentality, and that makes it easier for you to succeed in the future.”

Gu Xuehan shrugged, “I don’t know what’s happening with you young people. But I’m not that kind of person. A man should be revengeful and strong. As far as I am concerned, even if I owe fifty cents, I have to work hard to get back fifty dollars in a lawsuit.”

“Qi Xi, you don’t have to worry about it. Say the name of the female classmate boldly! I will meet her.”

You’re doing it right now…

Fortunately, a customer call interrupted Gu Xuehan’s questioning. She quickly waved Qi Xi and Gu Yan out of her office.

Gu Yan walked in front of her with a cold face. He didn’t pay attention to Qi Xi’s appearance, so Qi Xi had no choice but to take initiative to attack and grab at Gu Yan’s hand.

“Gu Yan, let’s just let this past go away as simply as the wind…,” Qi Xi looked at Gu Yan eagerly. “Your kindness… I will repay you in the next life by being a bull and a horse. We’ve been classmates in the past 4 years and now will be colleagues in the future. There should be no ongoing feuds. I am willing to bear the crime I committed against you…”

Gu Yan looked at Qi Xi, “How are you planning on bearing it?”

Qi Xi pitifully said, “I am willing to make financial compensations. I will hand over the bulk of my monthly salary. I only need to set aside some money for living expenses.

“The letter from Zhang Jia Liang was too confusing! If you don’t believe me, read it! If you were me, you would misunderstand, too,” Qi Xi said as she pulled up a picture of the damn confession letter on her phone.

Qi Xi decided to push some of the blame onto Gu Yan, “Zhang Jia Liang ended the letter in this way, and you took the initiative to deliver the love letter. Wouldn’t it be easy for me to misunderstand? If you didn’t send the love letter on behalf of him, such a thing wouldn’t have happened. Something’s going on….”

Qi Xi’s suggestion was very clear. Though it was her fault to slander his name, she also wanted to make it clear that Gu Yan was a little negligent when running errands for Zhang Jia Liang.

Gu Yan pursed his lips with an ugly expression, “If I knew he had a love letter hidden in your LSAT book, I would never have handed you the book on his behalf.”

“So you see, you and I are actually Zhang Jia Liang’s victims!”

Very good, very good! First transfer the blame. Everyone will scold Zhang Jia Liang, and then the distance between us will be shortened!

Looking at Gu Yan’s expression, Qi Xi continued, “Actually, I always felt there was no one in the world with a better character than you…”

Gu Yan glanced at Qi Xi’s cellphone with a cold face, and his expression darkened further, “If you believe in my character so much, why did you believe that I wrote that letter? Even if I confess, would I write such a disgusting thing? With words that are so ugly?”

He glanced at Qi Xi, “And you believe in Buddhism? Since when did you believe in it? In the past, when the photography club tried to burn incense for an activity, didn’t you report the club for believing in superstitions?”

“…” Gu Yan is not from that club, how did he know?!

Qi Xi firmly maintained a smile on his face as if she couldn’t stand it any longer, “I just practice Buddhism, but I practice it very religiously.”

“Religiously?”

Qi Xi nodded, “Yes, very pious.”

Gu Yan glanced at Qi Xi without a smile, “Okay, my sister said yesterday that a newbie was coming today. She wanted us to go and have lunch together, so let me go and tell her to pick a vegetarian restaurant. You can’t eat meat.”

“…”

Qi Xi couldn’t control her expression this time. Her facial features were twisted together, “Gu Yan, you should know, humans have evolved to the top of the food chain, isn’t it just to eat meat? I just thought about it, Gu Xuehan told us that a combination of meat and vegetables is part of having a healthy diet. In order to have a healthy body to work for your sister, I decided to let go of my obsession and still eat meat.”

Gu Yan stared at her coldly, “You are so considerate.”

“I know I deserve to die based on what happened before, and that it is all my fault, but it was mainly because I accidentally overheard you and some girl that day. When that girl confessed to you, you rejected her and I heard you say that you wanted to confess to a girl you liked. So my misunderstanding deepened,” Qi Xi cautiously said, “So… did you succeed in your confession afterwards?”

Qi Xi regretted even mentioning the words because Gu Yan’s expression darkened further. The man gave her a stern expression before gnashing out a, “No.”

Qi Xi felt extremely regretful about the stupid question. She didn’t have to think about it. After giving such a passionate speech at the graduation ceremony, who would dare to agree to Gu Yan’s confession?

This not only ruined Gu Yan’s reputation, but it also ruined his marriage!

The feud between Gu Yan and her was not so easy to solve.

Gu Yan pursed his lips, “Qi Xi, work is not about reminiscing the past. I’m very busy, so please don’t waste my time. Find your own desk and stay away from me.”

Gu Yan dropped these words and walked to his desk with a cold expression.

Soon, Qi Xi walked towards Gu Yan, one step at a time.

Gu Yan looked uncomfortable, “I told you not to follow me.”

Qi Xi sneered before sitting down right next to him, “The only empty seat is the one next to you. HR arranged for me to sit here.”

Because a lot of new people were recruited to the company recently, space was quite tight. The last few desks and chairs purchased by the company were relatively compact. There were no partitions between the workstations, and if you moved just a little, you would bump into your deskmate.

The distance between Qi Xi and Gu Yan was similar to the distance shared between students using the same table in school. Her voice was a little dry and weak, “I’m sorry. I can only stay this far from you at most. I’ll pay attention, and once there is another vacancy, I’ll move out immediately to get out of your sight.”

Gu Yan grimaced, looking as though he had a little trouble breathing, but he didn’t say anything. He just pursed his lips before looking down at his dossier.

Although they were classmates for 4 years, Qi Xi never sat so close to Gu Yan before. She was close enough to observe Gu Yan’s profile closely.

The incandescent light in the office area hit his face whilst passing through his fine hair. It was just common office ceiling lighting, but it gave Qi Xi an illusion that Gu Yan was being illuminated by a thousand beams of light.

His facial features were sharp and handsome even if his temperament was serious and cold. His eyes were charming as well. Occasionally when he looked up at people with his slightly raised eyes… he was able to hook them elusively.

Hook is probably not the right word to use, but after Qi Xi observed Gu Yan some more, she realized she had no better words to describe his eyes. Though he was a recent graduate of Rongda Law School, his face and brain were his real accomplishments.

Although her heart was bitter, Qi Xi had to recognize Gu Yan’s strengths. Why couldn’t she succeed in surpassing Gu Yan?

If you want to be a star, you should stop staring at Gu Yan in the office. In the future, when you walk in the legal circle, you should have one less competitor.

“Let’s go! Let’s eat.”

Fortunately, it was finally noon. Gu Xuehan ended the call and took Qi Xi and Gu Yan to a nearby Huai Yang restaurant with a good ambiance.

After leaving work, Gu Xuehan was a little less stiff and she returned to her usual elegance. She slowly introduced Qi Xi to the situation at the company, “In short, this is the situation. You have passed all your judicial exams, so the first year in the firm will be your certified internship period. You can officially practice independently after this period ends. I usually take commercial cases, but as a trainee lawyer, I encourage you to pick up every case you can, even civil cases. I will also help you.”

Gu Xuehan smiled, “After all, you have just graduated, so you may still be confused. In fact, you may not known which subdivision interests you, so you have to do all kinds of cases before you finally choose. Just as lawyers, interns can also handle small cases. Compared with commercial cases, civil cases handle life-related disputes. They are closer to reality, and you may be able to connect with the disputes which makes it easy to get started with.”

When she said this, she glanced at Qi Xi, “Gu Yan joined the company before you, and you are also classmates. In short, if you have any questions in the future, you can ask him.”

Qi Xi smiled, “Okay, thank you Lawyer Gu. I will learn from Gu Yan! He has always been my role model since we were in school. He was always number 1, and I always follow him. As second place, it really seemed as though Gu Yan was guiding me forward!”

It’s a pity that Qi Xi’s words were destined to be a one-man show. Gu Yan was drinking his tea coolly on the side, and he had no plans to save her face.

Even Gu Xuehan couldn’t bear to see this. Unfortunately, just as she was about to take Gu Yan’s name, Gu Yan’s phone rang.

The man pursed his lips and stood up, “It’s a call from a client who consulted out law firm’s business before. I’ll answer it.”

As soon as Gu Yan left, Gu Xuehan showed an uncomfortable expression. She looked over at Qi Xi, “Don’t pay attention to him. It may be because he was slandered recently, and your words may have stimulated him. That’s why he looked so bored.”

Why do you have to go back to this topic again?!?!

Compared to Gu Yan, it seemed as though Gu Yan’s sister was more difficult to handle. After all, Gu Yan didn’t take any action over the matter, but Gu Xuehan seemed to want to solve the matter at hand.

Gu Xuehan continued to chase after information, “So, who is that girl? Can the video be found?”

Qi Xi suppressed the urge to run away, and pretended to calmly explain, “Actually, when the girl at the graduation ceremony was speaking, I happened to be in the toilet. When I came back, she was already finished speaking. Later, I saw that the video was deleted. So, I really don’t know what happened.”

“Wasn’t the speech quite long? You didn’t hear it? You were in the toilet the entire time?”

Qi Xi resisted the urge to collapse, “I was constipated all day.”

Gu Xuehan was probably also taken aback by Qi Xi’s answer. After a moment, she removed the snowflake in front of Qi Xi and replaced it with a large pot of a vegetable salad, “Lawyers always lead a sedentary life, yet you chose this profession. You’re still young. Pay more attention to your body. You should be a vegetarian for today’s meal.”

“…”

Unexpectedly, with her own efforts, Qi Xi finally succeeded in becoming a vegetarian.

Gu Xuehan ordered a few more vegetarian dishes, and then furrowed her brows, moving back to the topic of work, “The overall atmosphere in the company is nice. Gu Yan may be a more cold than usual, but I will try to speak to him. Though, he actually is quite rebellious.”

Gu Yan, rebellious?

Since when was Gu Yan rebellious? Are all top rankers rebellious?

Seeing Qi Xi’s doubt, Gu Xuehan shrugged, “When I first became a partner, I persuaded him to join the company after graduation, but he wanted to study in the US afterwards. So, I respected his decision. But after applying to such a good school, he turned around and told me that he wasn’t planning on going abroad, that he preferred to work in the company. I wondered how such a stable person could make such an impulsive decision. That too, regarding his career. So, I figured it’s just him rebelling.”

Listening to this, Qi Xi also was puzzled, especially seeing that Gu Yan’s family conditions are not as bad as hers. His sister had a good income, and she seemed to respect and support him. He would not have stopped him decision to study abroad because of financial problems.

A little curious, Qi Xi asked, “What school did Gu Yan get the offer from? Was he planning on getting a JD or an LLM?”

“JD at Columbia Law.”

What kind of evil is this? Gu Yan was originally going to Columbia University to study for a JD?

Luckily I didn’t go. Otherwise, he would’ve beaten me for another three years in a foreign country after he beat be for four years here.

She wasn’t able to rejoice for long. Qi Xi suddenly remembered that Gu Yan didn’t go, and that the two of them ended up in the same law firm in the same team.

Since Shengyu, He Shengliang?**

It was a fucking sad story.

“He doesn’t seem to care about others lately, so don’t worry about it. He really seems to be in the decline recently. He said if things go well, he would introduce his girlfriend in a few days, but now it has changed,” Gu Xuehan said sadly. “Maybe he was dumped, and after being slandered, it caused him to go through a huge personality change.”

Qi Xi felt it was her fault for Gu Yan’s failure to confess and have no love in his life. He might have lost all interest in everything as a result of this, maybe even holding himself responsible for everything.

Without even talking more, she realized that this was sadder than just being dumped.

Qi Xi felt guilty, so she took the initiative to say, “Lawyer Gu, do your best to arrange any type of work for me. I will do more! Let Gu Yan relax to be able to sort his emotions a little more.”

Gu Xuehan pursed her lips, “You just need to find the girl who slandered him as soon as possible. Let him vent his anger at any rate. It’s not good for him to hold it all day.”

“…”

Qi Xi’s guilt disappeared without a trace, and her expression became very stiff. Fortunately at this time, Gu Yan finally answered the phone and turned back. Gu Xuehan also turned the topic back to work as she spoke to Qi Xi and Gu Yan, giving them some tips as newcomers.

The lunch did not last long because Gu Xuehan was very busy with another case in another district in the afternoon. She briefly explained, and didn’t even have the time to eat dessert. So, she paid the order and left, leaving only Qi Xi and Gu Yan at the table.

Gu Yan was still ignoring herself, but Qi Xi wanted to let go of the past, so she took the initiative to find a common topic with a warm face, “You also applied to Columbia Law for a JD? Me too…”

As a result, before Qi Xi could finish her words, Gu Yan interrupted her with an abnormal outburst, “Who told you?”

“Your sister,” Qi Xi said curiously. “What happened with you? I decided to work because my family didn’t support me, and I didn’t have the money to study abroad. Why did you give up the offer? It’s a pity.”

Gu Yan frowned, obviously not wanting to discuss the issue further, “I suddenly didn’t want to go.”

Can you be so willful?

But it’s not a big deal, Qi Xi’s only concern is, “Then you see, we’ll be colleagues in the future, or perhaps partners of a team. I admit my mistakes from the past, but I hope in the future you will give me the chance to make up for it. Could we still be friends?”

In the end, she didn’t know what happened. Gu Yan’s expression could only be previously described as indifference, but now looking at him, he gnashed his teeth in a complicated manner.

“Qi Xi, I can never be friends with you.”

After Gu Yan finished speaking, he stood up with a cold face.

I still haven’t finished dessert yet…

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Translator’s Note:

**”Since Shengyu, He Shengliang?”

A phrase used in the “The Romance of Three Kingdoms” text that can be translated loosely as, “Since God gave birth to me, Zhou Yu, why did he give birth to Zhuge Liang?” The phrase essentially means, “Why did you [God] create a person who’s talent is much better than me? Who can suppress me in all aspects. Can’t I achieve something?”

Qi Xi laments how Gu Yan has won every battle they had ever fought.

Author’s Note: LLM is Master of Laws where the schooling system is shorter. Typically 1-2 years. It’s gold-plated endeavor for overseas students, and you need a law degree to apply. Generally, this degree is the less taken path for US students.