Your Meaning

Episode 13: Sending You Flowers (2)

TL: thursdays 

After her lesson, Dayeon headed to the inner palace where the emperor lived.

Five months had already passed since she came to the imperial palace. Though that was a long time, she had not come to the emperor’s inner palace except for the first time she had an audience with the emperor.

The inner palace was much more majestic and splendid than the lateral palace where Dayeon lived.

“Did you learn many Altian characters?” asked Mikhail, who sat opposite Dayeon. The dining table between them was so large as to be incomparable to the one in the lateral palace.

“Um, I’ve learned about 500 characters now.”

The path was way too long… Did she really have to learn 10,000 of them?

Dayeon’s expression became exceedingly woeful. The emperor smiled and encouraged, “You’ll be able to learn everything soon. There are patterns, and your speed will get faster the more you learn. Once you can read, I’ll bring you some good books. The imperial palace’s library has a variety of publications. There are a lot of interesting books, so it’ll be a good way to pass the time.”

No other place in the empire had a more diverse and extensive collection of books than the imperial palace’s library. Several lists of books to show Dayeon already came to the emperor’s mind.

The dinner menu was a tender cut of steak and a salad with raw salmon and lemon dressing.

It was a dish that accurately matched Dayeon’s tastes. Dishes made with only the highest quality ingredients marvelously melted in her mouth.

A corner of the emperor’s heart felt delighted to see the strange, happy smile on Dayeon’s face.

“It’s good to see you eating well. Thank goodness. Whenever you don’t eat, I feel like calling in the chef for a deep, intimate conversation.”

At the abominable words of the emperor, Dayeon looked grave. It was because he had actually done it a few times.

“Please don’t do that. Because of Your Majesty, all the people who work in the lateral palace seem to hate me.”

Dayeon felt guilty whenever she saw Marie, who was so bright that she felt childlike at first, looking dramatically darker these days.

Recently, Marie was working hard to renovate the interior of the lateral palace for the summer. Normally, the decor should reflect the preferences of the person residing in it and have their touch, but because Dayeon had no interest in such things and knew nothing of housekeeping, the employees had to put in more effort.

However, the emperor seemed irritated by a different part of Dayeon’s statement.

Perplexed, he asked, “Why do you care about something like that?”

As Dayeon stared at him, the emperor continued, “I mean, why would they hate you? They just need to do what they have to do in their positions. They also receive a sufficient salary as compensation. If they think that the balance between work and compensation is not right, they can resign, but they didn’t, did they?”

Even though he lived in an absolute monarchy where his status could solve everything, the emperor was surprisingly well-versed in the core principles of capitalism.

It was amazing. Dayeon thought that the emperor, even if he wasn’t born at the apex of the society, was a person who would be able to go down in history no matter what he did. But this time, the emperor criticized her emotional side.

“Do you like all of them?”

“……”

“You don’t even know all of their names, do you?”

Mikhail and Dayeon were, fundamentally, very different people. Even excluding the world and environments they lived in, their innate dispositions were like that.

If Dayeon was quiet and defensive, the emperor was earnest and passionate.

So they thought and acted differently and regarded each other with confusion. No matter how close two people were, that was how things inevitably were between them.

“Sometimes when I see you, you’re shockingly lazy, but you’re very meticulous and sincere about others’ circumstances. How did you become so diligent about such things?”

The emperor offhandedly rebuked her while smiling. Dayeon listened dazedly to the emperor’s words.

The emperor’s words were right. Of course, not every part of it was right. Everybody each had their own ways of building relationships. Caring about other people and her surroundings, watching them carefully, thinking about them. That was Dayeon’s way of establishing her place.

Nevertheless, Dayeon acknowledged the emperor’s words because the emperor was speaking in Dayeon’s favor, surprisingly.

“Just think about yourself.”

He was telling her to be very unfair, egocentric, and selfish.

She hasn’t been that sort of person before, and she couldn’t suddenly become like that, either.

However, the attitude of life he was suggesting sounded very right at this moment. It was terribly kind and sweet, so she thought that from now on, she should only think of herself. With that thought, she said, “Yes, that’s right.”

Dayeon, who agreed docilely, spoke again.

“Your Majesty’s words are all true.”

“Everything I say, in general, is true.”

“Ah, yes.”

The emperor reacted like that was nothing new. He nodded sternly and seriously as if it was only obvious.

“But why ‘in general’?” Dayeon asked.

The emperor replied, “How can a person always be right? Even the goddess Herunia most likely errs sometimes.”

Flaunting his blasphemy, he elegantly finished his meal.

꘏꘏꘏

Now, let’s talk one last time about depression.

The mentality of a depressed patient must be handled with extreme delicacy. This is because wounds can erupt in unexpected places, and they are susceptible to even the slightest stimulus sometimes.

Have you ever talked to them? They aren’t easily persuaded by words. No matter what affirmative language you use to try to change their stream of thought, they will miraculously draw some negative conclusion in the end.

Even if you succeed in cutting off the line of negative thoughts, the dark thoughts quickly sprout again and eat away at their mind.

In fact, the emperor did his best to cure Dayeon’s depression both directly and indirectly. The way Mikhail thought about her changed a lot from before, but initially, the emperor treated Dayeon similarly to how he would treat an abandoned dog.

She looked like a sad puppy that had its food bowl taken away, so the emperor fed her, played with her, gave her work to do, and doted on her.

He thought she was strange and high-maintenance, but at some point, he saw her kind nature, and when she smiled, it was pleasant, and he was drawn to the look on her face.

Dayeon was funnier than he thought, and while she was quiet, she was also witty and delightful.

The emperor increasingly devoted his time and mind to Dayeon, and later, he softened to her fatal flaw of laziness. It was much for the same reason that people feel pity for small, sensitive animals without much thought but find themselves gradually giving their hearts, minds, and wallets to them.

There may be differing opinions about his approach, but in general, the emperor’s methods were effective. Dayeon’s condition seemed to have significantly improved as she was made to work in bright environments, meet people, move her body, and sweat. The exercise in particular helped. Dayeon herself often felt refreshed, thinking that this must be why people exercised.

At times, it looked like her heart was healed. On the outside, she seemed to be living well now.

But the problem was that this wasn’t always the case. 

She still sometimes couldn’t sleep, sometimes lost her appetite, and very often became homesick. Some days she cried alone, and on severe days, she would lock herself in her room again.

Originally, the emperor was not a person who would let such things pass. However, they had been spending a lot of time together, and he had come to know about Dayeon to some extent.

Even he closed his eyes to her excuses for a day or two. He knew she would be all right with time, so he deliberately did not go looking for her so that she could calm down.

However, that did not mean that he allowed those times to go on indefinitely. It was because he himself would feel distressed.

“Today as well?”

Marie was flustered again, sweating in front of the bedroom door. A few days had passed again since Dayeon withdrew inside the room.

How desolate must the divine realm be to make someone so devastated? everyone wondered.

Dayeon was such a kind and gentle person. A good person. But she lacked physical strength, got sick often, and sometimes became fatigued like now, like a shriveled-up plant.

Everyone felt pity for her. In fact, if Dayeon just fixed her mindset, there would be no place where she could live as comfortably as she did in the imperial palace. So it would be better if she just relaxed her thoughts to live a little more comfortably.

That was when it happened. Determined, the emperor said, “Open the door. I will go in.”

As I thought, I need a cave.

Meanwhile, Dayeon, who was slacking in her room, was thinking about this sort of comfortable thing. 

Her mood had improved quite a bit over the last two days. Staying in her room, she had just woken from deep hibernation.

She had thought she was okay, but maybe she had been very stressed because she actually cried a little. It was the wretched, ugly kind of crying, but after that, she felt much better. But she couldn’t stay like this forever.

She rested for a day or two, so she told herself to get up now. She also had to wash her face, eat, and do other human things.

With these practical thoughts, she got out of bed and was about to leave the room. The problem was that at the very moment, someone was also trying to come inside. The door opened, and bright light poured in through the crack.

“…Huh?”

Why did the emperor appear?

Seeing the emperor coming inside the room, she tilted her head and made a peculiar noise. Her voice was a mix of small wonder and profound confusion.

Dayeon, unable to bring forth any reaction to the unexpected visit, stood blankly staring at the emperor. And, to her dismay, the corners of her eyes were still wet.

Blink. At that moment, a single tear traveled down her cheek.

“…Huh?”

Dayeon made a strange noise again, this time for a different reason.

Oh no, why was this happening? Dayeon was a little confused.

But at that moment, there was a person who was more bewildered than Dayeon. The emperor, who was about to enter, saw Dayeon and stood still with a frozen expression.

“……”

“……”

Hello. It’s been a while. Have you been well? Did you eat?

At this point, Dayeon should have said something.

She tried to, really.

But what kind of phenomenon was this? Her tear glands, once they shed a tear, seemed to have broken down as she faced the emperor’s stiff face. In an instant, more tears than before poured out.

Why is this happening?! Stop overreacting, tear ducts.

The emperor took one step closer to Dayeon, who quickly wiped away her tears in embarrassment. Though, he stopped in his place again when she flinched in surprise.

“This isn’t what you think it is,” she said.

“……”

She tried to explain, but Mikhail, a few steps away from her, stared at her with a firm expression for a long time. Then, he opened his mouth.

꘏꘏꘏

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