Your Meaning

Episode 19: I Can Hear Your Voice (5)

TL: thursdays 

At the inner palace, there was a large pond that wasn’t at the lateral palace. It was muggy during the day, but after the sun set and the temperature went down, the pondside became cooler.

The emperor’s attendants prepared a meal at an appropriate spot.

Meanwhile, the emperor who had come this far holding Dayeon’s hand was very excited. Letting go of her hand to sit down, he spoke.

“Since I got permission once, I won’t keep asking each time.”

Oh jeez, what was he saying when everyone could hear?

Dayeon scratched the back of her neck while her cheeks reddened. Mikhail again looked pleased as he saw her blushing. He really must have developed a bad habit.

The table was filled with food that was appetizing to look at. Warm mushroom soup, bread with a generous spread of cheese, grilled fish with lemons, and a goose dish garnished with berries. The emperor’s table was splendid and plentiful.

Dayeon had somewhat mastered the table manners of this world, but she had given up on using them perfectly.

Would she suddenly gain elegance that didn’t exist just because she was perfectly familiar with manners?

It was sad, but the emperor and she were different. To eat gracefully, learning table manners were not enough; she had to be reborn.

The emperor clicked his tongue as Dayeon dunked her bread in the warm soup.

“So clumsy. How are you eating while smearing it all over?”

He reached out his hand and stole the soup from Dayeon’s lips with his thumb.

Your Majesty, if you want to wipe her mouth, please do it without saying anything!!

The grand chamberlain screamed internally as he looked at the emperor, who despite acting kind could not stop his nagging for all the world.

However, Dayeon had now reached a certain level. It was a high level that even the emperor’s close aides, who had supported him since he was a crown prince, could not reach: Dayeon could let a fair amount of nagging enter one ear and slide out the other without a blink.

When Dayeon bit the soup-soaked bread and dirtied her mouth again, the attendants and maids next to her cringed.

The emperor was suffering from the urge to dote on Dayeon for eating well and the urge to point out the food smudged on her mouth. In the end, with a look of concern, he reached out again and carefully wiped her mouth. Then, he made a very warm expression.

Everyone who was watching felt anxious, but Dayeon was calm.

“I didn’t know there was a pond in the palace,” Dayeon said. She couldn’t take her gaze away from the pond. Embraced by the fading sunlight, the pond was constantly twinkling.

“Do you like it? In addition to the one here, there’s another in the western palace garden. Actually, there’s a small river that flows in the imperial castle.”

“A river in the castle?”

“It is technically outside the castle, but the nearby river, mountain, and terrain are included when speaking of the imperial palace. If you want to see it, we’ll go together sometime. It’s dangerous to go alone as there are many wild animals, but it will be all right if we bring guards.”

Mikhail smiled tenderly.

“I would like to, but I heard that you’re very busy these days,” said Dayeon.

“I may be busy, but I’m not busy every day. It’s just this period in particular. There are many defense preparations to be done in the summer. In addition, an envoy arrived from another country. So much work has been piling on suddenly that I wonder if I should take a break from my early morning training for the first time in 25 years.”

The early morning training referred to the swordsmanship practice the emperor had always done at the same time since he was young.

The anecdote about the emperor and the sword was a famous story not only to the courtiers but to all people of the empire. It was so famous that even Dayeon, a foreigner who was not interested in rumors, heard of it.

Dayeon had actually been very impressed by the story. When the person involved in it brought it up, she was glad to hear it and wanted to show that she knew about it because when Dayeon heard the story, she had genuinely been awed.

“I heard that you weren’t skilled in swordsmanship at first.”

But for some reason, the emperor looked disgruntled by Dayeon’s words. The emperor looked around and said half-jokingly, half-seriously, “It’s hard enough to win your heart even if I only recite the things I have done well since I was born. Who is going around spoiling the mood like this?”

Oops!

The servants who had been struck by lightning while standing still averted their gazes, frozen in place. When Dayeon noticed the servants, especially the maids from the lateral palace, she felt extremely taken aback.

She never meant to speak with that intention.

I didn’t mean to find any fault with you. I didn’t mean to mention anybody’s weak point.

Dayeon was sometimes like a herbivore without offensive power. Before and even now, she didn’t want to use words to hurt someone. Even by mistake.

Concerned that the emperor would misunderstand, Dayeon tried to convey her meaning carefully but clearly, though she couldn’t hide her embarrassment.

“That isn’t it. I didn’t mean that. You weren’t skilled at it at first, but you didn’t give up, and in the end, you became better than everyone else. I thought that part was amazing and impressive. That’s what I wanted to say.”

“……”

For a while, there was silence. The emperor was speechless for a brief moment and stared at Dayeon. Then, he lowered his gaze and silently picked up his fork and knife.

Suddenly resumed his meal, he quietly sliced the goose dish in front of him with a knife. However, he soon had to put down his utensils again.

It seemed like the emperor wanted to act as brazen as he usually was, but it wasn’t working well. His ears were blushing slightly, and his face grew hotter and hotter, making it hard for him to seem nonchalant.

In the end, the emperor covered half his face, including his eyes, and grumbled at Dayeon.

“How do you say such things so easily?”

“Pardon?”

“How could you… No, it’s fine if you don’t know.”

Dayeon looked strangely at the emperor, who was embarrassed and suddenly could not meet her eyes.

“…Did I say something wrong?”

No! You’ve said things perfectly! You just hit a home run!!

The maids wanted to put their hands together and yell.

“I didn’t do it to get acknowledged by anyone, but hearing it from you, I… don’t feel bad.”

The emperor fixed his expression and sliced the goose in front of him to make it easy to eat. Then, he gathered the slices and piled them on Dayeon’s plate.

Beyond not feeling bad, Mikhail’s heart had been struck by an unforeseen attack. He felt more embarrassed than usual, but he was pretending everything was normal. 

Dayeon looked at Mikhail with a very strange face and asked carefully, “Wasn’t it difficult?”

“What do you mean? Swordsmanship?”

“No. People’s words.”

“Ah.” The emperor nodded in understanding. “I suppose there was a lot of talk. For generations, the Dnar imperial family has produced only the best knights of their time. It was the pride of the family, and of the empire, of course, but I couldn’t match up. I heard that my talent did not reach even that of the commoner children on the street.”

Dayeon’s mouth opened in slight shock.

Someone spoke about a member of the imperial family like that?

Dayeon felt hurt just by listening to those words secondhand.

However, Mikhail only laughed at Dayeon’s shocked and saddened eyes. “But do I have to care about those who say such things?” he asked. The emperor shrugged indifferently and continued, “I wished I had been born with more favorable qualifications, but what could I do about something that wasn’t there? I just saw it as something I had to overcome anyway, and I was able to do it. But even if I could not, what about it?”

How could he do that? Was it in his nature? Was it solved by time? Did things just get better as they went on?

He even sounded cheerful as he recalled the past.

“And as things went on, in the end, didn’t they turn out to be all wrong? I learned that there are things in the world that no one knows until they reach the end. That is why there is no need to be disappointed or jump to conclusions based on others’ words. That was all the matter amounted to. So, it didn’t matter.”

The emperor spoke in a clear tone to Dayeon, who was staring at him with a wonderstruck expression. He was smiling, but his tone was as if he was whispering the important truths of life.

“So don’t let the light words of those who know nothing affect you.”

“……”

Dayeon thought she now understood why the empire’s distinguished knights liked and admired the emperor.

It wasn’t because of his outstanding skills with the sword. Nor was it because he overcame his troubles and proved himself.

Whether it was now with his swordsmanship level or when he didn’t have a tiny handful of talent, the emperor was a man who shone with just his mind. His value was in himself, not in the sword.

If every person had their own unique color that people could see, the emperor’s color would be so brilliant and shining that no one would not be able to lift their heads and look.

Dayeon thought that even a man made from the sun would not have a heart so resplendent.

His pride, warmth, confidence, and passion.

Dayeon felt overwhelmed as well as fascinated by all of his colors.

However, while Dayeon was gripped by some emotion, Mikhail returned to being the fussy and nagging emperor again.

Mikhail, who was very bothered by the sauce on Dayeon’s mouth again, eventually reached out his hand again, wrapping it in a tissue to clean her mouth.

As his face looked relieved and more at ease, Dayeon stopped staring blankly at him and laughed out loud.

“It seems we have to part here,” the emperor said regretfully at the forked road.

The time they could be together was not as long as she thought. There were many people who wanted an audience with the emperor, so he was scheduled for more audiences after dinner. When the emperor could not make himself leave, his expression clearly saddened, Dayeon suddenly made a promise.

“I’ll come to where Your Majesty is again next time.”

The emperor nodded. Still, he couldn’t turn around right away.

Mikhail bent down and quietly looked at Dayeon’s face. The moonlight was shining subtly on her tidy face.

It was just a neat and calm face. But somehow, he felt his eyes and heart filling with passion. To calm his heart, he clenched and unclenched his hand several times.

He wanted to kiss that expressionless face, all over.

Trying to push down his rising passion, the emperor found and held Dayeon’s hand. Then, struggling with his impatience, he lifted that hand and quietly pressed his lips against her palm.

“Go back safely. See you tomorrow.”

The emperor, speaking with a tight voice, gently let go of the fingers he had been holding. Then, he turned around.

The emperor did not look back.

Dayeon continued looking at his entourage walking away from her spot for a little longer.

The moon was radiant that night.