Your Scandals Are Way Cuter Than You

This is a scheduled update, but I’ll update chapter 4 today also~ In celebration for Genshin’s 3.4 update, where I’ll pull for my Dendro Wife + his weapon (/ω＼#) Wish me luck y’all

For a moment, the two people on both ends of the phone were a little awkward.

Jiang Ying decided to do his best to break the awkward silence. In order to prevent another mistake, he changed his address: “Class Leader, I…”

“I am a frigid monk?” Qi Zhu interrupted him.

Jiang Ying turned his head and glared at “Gossip Classmate” who was still innocently reciting Qi Zhu’s entry: “It’s nothing, it’s the smart speaker’s nonsense, your… uh… bodily function is normal.”

It’s okay to secretly slander him behind his back, but to say these words in front of the said person… his end is nigh. And it looked really, really bad.

“Oh, so you know?” Qi Zhu’s voice on the phone raised a little higher.

That spelled out trouble.

Jiang Ying: “…”

“If there’s nothing else, I’ll hang up first.” Jiang Ying absently pressed the “end call” button.

On the computer desktop, the QQ icon flashed, signaling a new unread message. It was the default penguin profile picture – Qi Zhu replied his earlier message.

[Class Leader]: [poke poke]

[Class Leader]:  You are the one who made the call.

Jiang Ying: “…”

He originally wanted to ask Qi Zhu if he wanted to go to the class reunion, but after that… blunder, he forgot about his actual business.

Qi Zhu is so busy, and he didn’t like to join in this kind of lively event. He probably wouldn’t go to the class reunion. He forwarded the news of the class reunion to Qi Zhu, with the address and time of the said reunion.

[Big-Clawed Crab]: [poke poke]

[Big-Clawed Crab]: [forwarded message]

[Class Leader]: Oh.

Judging by the tone of this reply – disdain with a little of indifference – he should be uninterested with the invitation.

It’s getting late, but before modern people usually had a nightly ritual of playing with their phones before going to bed. Jiang Ying was one of them. Jiang Ying laid on his side on the bed and clicked on an app called “Fight!” on his mobile phone.

A cursive script of the word “Fight!” appeared on his screen followed by the main interface of the app.

Three years ago, as soon as this quarrel-focused app was launched, it immediately attracted many netizens’ attention. The app randomly matched opponents with similar ranks to have a debate with a given topic. It was text-based, no video or audio was allowed. After the winner was decided, both sides would break up instantly.

Since it was focused on hot-blooded argumentative debate, the app had to enforce a few rules to keep things safe and classy. You were not allowed to insult something personal, or threaten each other – in short, keep all debate in-topic. Besides that, everything else was allowed. You just go show off your creative writing skills to win all sorts of debate.

When this app was first launched, it became popular for a while. Gradually, the popularity waned bit by bit; be it because they were too good and got bored because of no worthy opponent, or because they were too bad and got tired of losing every time. These days, only a cult following kept the app afloat – mostly consisting of people who had nothing better to do, or people who were really into beating people down with words.

Jiang Ying was of the letter category.

After clicking “Start”, Jiang Ying was presented with two options: “Topic-based Fight” or “Freestyle Fight”. Unlike the group of demonic freaks prowling in the freestyle fights area, the topic-based fight area was populated with relatively civil and harmonious people. The fight itself was more similar to a conventional debate, and the topic given were of mundane, everyday things—such as: “is tomato a vegetable or a fruit?” or “which is the better pets: cats or dogs?”.

Jiang Ying often hung around in “Freestyle Fights” on weekdays. He didn’t know when there was a new topic option added in the “Topic-based Fight”, but now he saw the “entertainment circle” option on the interface. Out of curiosity, he decided to try it out.

This topic probably was something many people avoid. But Jiang Ying was not many people. He breathed and lived in this industry.

The countdown started on the app, and Jiang Ying’s bedtime quarrel ritual officially began. Jiang Ying was still a little sleepy, but the topic he lifted his spirits. The person he got was actually someone he knew very, very well—

“Is Qi Zhu popular or not?”

Jiang Ying just chose the “Neutral Stance” option, and the system randomly assigned him to the “Yes” side of the argument. He felt it was a bit of a disadvantage for him. He would fare better if he was on the opposite side.

After all, he has collected so many black materials about Qi Zhu. It felt a little bit like betrayal to praise Qi Zhu.

However, Jiang Ying prided himself with his argumentative ability. He could be flexible with his stance.

The game had started, Jiang Ying would not admit defeat.

According to the rules of the app, the two parties had a set timer for each argument. If they did not speak within 20 seconds or the content of the speech was judged to be meaningless, they would be deemed as the loser by the system.

Jiang Ying’s ID in this app was called [Boss Crab], and the opponent he matched has the ID of [ACD].

[ACD]: Let’s hurry up and finish this. I want to go to sleep.

[ACD]: You’re also not a fan of his, right?

[Boss Crab]: No, don’t worry.

[ACD]: That’s good, I also chose the “Neutral Stance”, so I got randomly assigned to the “No” side. I’ll start, but let me adjust my emotion first…

[ACD]: Who is Qi Zhu? I don’t even know who he is, can he still be called popular?

[Boss Crab]: ???

[Boss Crab]: You don’t know who Qi Zhu is? Do your home have paved roads? Do you even have the super basic 2G Netcom internet in your cave you called a home?? Or, do you not know what the hell Weibo is, and never pay attention to the hot search? Man, are you a part of modern society or a caveman from the previous millennium?

[Boss Crab]: There is a saying in the entertainment industry. To be popular, you need good looks, acting skills, and resources. That guy, Qi Zhu, has them all. He just starred in New Year’s blockbuster, and also the previous hit movies as well. Have you ever watched those? If you are a modern man, you at least have heard of those, right?

[ACD]: I…

[Boss Crab]: Well, let’s pretend you don’t know him. But Qi Zhu is so popular that he lives up to his name. Let me explain the truth to you.

[ACD]: But he…

[Boss Crab]: Qi Zhu, he didn’t take the traffic route from the beginning. Qi Zhu took the strength route, proving his acting skills with every role he has taken. The average traffic star looked like lump of coals compared to him.

[Boss Crab]: His dad is a big director in the circle, but he has never relied on any of his dad’s resources. Do you know how he became popular at the beginning? Because of his amazing acting as a random cannon fodder. His acting is so good that it’s reflected to his eyes – it was so soulful and lively. The netizens praised him for that role. From there, he slowly but surely got more popular.

Jiang Ying typed at lightning speed, and in a short time he listed all of Qi Zhu’s works and roles since his debut. He even included the TV ratings, movie ranking, and various reviews; alongside listing all the awards that Qi Zhu won. He listed them all in clean bullet points, so even a dumbass could understand it.

[Boss Crab]: In summary, Qi Zhu absolutely deserves his popularity.

[ACD]: …You, you dare to call yourself ‘not a fan’????

[System Notification: “ACD” has exited the match. “Boss Crab” wins this round.]

“I’m not a fan of his, your typing speed is just shit.” The victorious Jiang Ying said to himself. He exited the app in content, then fell asleep.

Jiang Ying slept until noon. When he woke up, he received numerous notifications: from banks and insurances, but also greetings from his family and friends. They were all wishing him a happy birthday.

At exactly twelve o’clock, Qi Zhu sent him a cake and rose in the emoji on QQ, and a meme of little green person giving a hug.

Jiang Ying looked at the emoji Qi Zhu sent, inexplicably wanting to laugh.

Qi Zhu truly had the soul of a dull boomer; he didn’t even know how to properly use emoticons.

Assistant Chen had a rich work experience and was very familiar with Jiang Ying’s work schedule. Jiang Ying received a call from him not long after waking up.

“Should I send you the script by email?” Assistant Chen asked cautiously, hoping Jiang Ying would just agree.

“Got it, I’ll also read the original novel later, so at least I’ll save myself some dignity.” Jiang Ying said, “But my acting skills are genuinely terrible, so don’t get your hopes up, and I’m really not interested in filming.”

Assistant Chen finished his task happily hung up the phone.

After Jiang Ying downloaded the script, he realized that he was on the hot search again, but this time it was because of his birthday.

It was a scheduled Weibo’s birthday reminder. The post was of his birthday greetings, and the hot search was of his birthday tag. The comments of the post was full of blessings from his fans, and mixed in with some comments from passersby.

[JiangYingKANI Global Support Club]: #Jiang-Goose-Ying’sFirstFlight#, Happy Birthday gege~.

[Peach Oolong Tea]: Our gege can still be on the hot search on his birthday, can we send special birthday gift on this occasion? Please?

[321]: Yeah, I agree! This is such a rare occasion, after all.

[Didi Didi Da Da]: Passersby here. I just want to see the excitement. Jiang Ying’s birthday is on February 29th. Doesn’t that mean that his birthday can only be celebrated once every four years?

[Butter Crab]: Come join this side~ Our gege here helps fan to save money. Others do birthday support every year, but he only need once every four years.

Yesterday’s hot search of Jiang Ying’s airport hubris had been withdrawn by the company’s PR department. Only a few anonymous side accounts were still discussing it, mainly to bring Jiang Ying down. Jiang Ying knew that he could take advantage of the birthday trending tag to post his own selfie to attract new fans, so he logged in his main account.

@JiangYingKANI1I’m making stylistic choices: for username (no spaces), I’ll use @ symbol, but for display name (have spaces), I’ll use brackets []: Thank you my little Silhouettes for your blessings! Let’s be happy together. QuackingLaugh.jpg

Jiang Ying attached a selfie alongside his post. It was a picture he took just now, not long after he woke up. In the selfie, his stuffed penguin doll was also captured, still sitting nicely on his bedside. The youth himself still had his hair curled up naturally, with a bright smile on his face, showing two small canine teeth. Overall, he was much adorable than usual, full of that sunny, youthful charm.

@StarrySky: Take me away! Hhhhhhhhhhhhhnggg— this photo is too cute! Gege is usually handsome and cold, but today he is cute and LO-VE-LY!!

@RiceKANI: Mother fans are starting to worry, who will be worthy of our little Shadow2Ying in Jiang Ying’s name means shadow.?

@JiangYingKANI replied to @RiceKANI: I am beautiful alone~

However, there was another hot search that caught Jiang Ying’s attention. It involved the “Fight!” app he just used last night. Plus, the popularity even surpassed his birthday hot search.

#Fight!QiZhu#

Jiang Ying said to himself: “What the hell? This is too much! Even if we had a bad relationship, why wouldn’t he let me trend for my birthday in peace? Truly a monster…”

However… this was peculiar. Did Qi Zhu also use this app?

After clicking on the hot search, Jiang Ying discovered that it wasn’t that Qi Zhu also used this app, but that his battle last night was posted online by [ACD]. The screen recording of the previous night’s debate was posted.

@ACD: Is Qi Zhu so popular now? You can even meet Qi Zhu’s fans in this kind of niche app? The quality of this fan is too high. He can fucking list all of Qi Zhu’s works and achievement in 20 seconds??? HOW?? If I go to Baidu and copy-paste his entry, I still wouldn’t win. His fans are too fucking real.

[Will Only Change My Display Name When The New Drama Comes Out]: @ACD, let alone you; I, as a three-year-old faithful fan of Qi Zhu, still won’t be able to do that.

The Weibo account @BossCrab that Jiang Ying used to logged in the app “Fight!” had a sudden surge of popularity due to this. He used to have over 100,000 fans on this account, but as soon as ACD’s Weibo was posted, it went crazily up. It seemed that the netizen quickly recognized him as the famous fighter starring in the hot search.

In the video, they could see Boss Crab’s amazing typing speed, as well as his omniscience-level of knowledge in all things Qi Zhu. It was so shocking that even Qi Zhu’s fans could only kneel in worship.

And they called themselves “not a fan”? Impossible!

If Boss Crab wasn’t a fan, then what were they? Garbage bin?

Fans would usually read up all their favorite actor’s entire filmography, but this level of Boss Crab was unprecedented. They had memorized Qi Zhu’s every work, review, and achievements… fucking unreal.

Netizen 1: Yes, very strong, very strong indeed, isn’t he? I’ve known this big boss for a long time, I quite like him even, but I didn’t know he’s the type to chase stars…

Netizen 2: Boss Crab, it turns out that you are a Qi Zhu’s diehard fan. I didn’t know this before, you hide it very deep.

Jiang Ying, who was baffled while reading all the comments: ???

No, no, no! They were all wrong! He’s just trying his best to win the debate, okay? He didn’t admire any celebrities, he only admire himself!

At the same time, in Qi Zhu’s supertopic chat–

[Have you read the hot search?]

[I saw it! I heard that there is such topic in this app, and I was worried that it would only invite controversy. But in turns out, things went this way…]

[She must be a fan! I can smell that all-too-familiar fangirling tone! It must be a fellow sister-in-arms!]

[Even the Top 10 player in this app turned out to be our gege’s diehard fan… I’m so glad. In the future, if we ever went into a fandom war, we can rely this big boss to win us the war. No blackening, slandering, and bullshit criticism can hurt us from this now on!]

[Is this Boss Crab a part of our fan group?]

[I don’t think so. I haven’t heard of this character in the chat.]

[Who is going to recruit her? Our support club needs such precious talents.]

[Gege likes to control the slander and trolls the most. We should @ Boss Crab for gege!]

[No need @ her, gege already went in person…]

Jiang Ying’s phone vibrated, and his Weibo account received a new notification.

@QiZhu has followed you.

With only one fight, Boss Crab became famous overnight.

look, at my 2-year stint as a Carat, I couldn’t even reach Jiang Ying’s level. He truly was something else.

If you can, please support me by donating on my ko-fi~ For every 2 ko-fis, I’ll release an additional chapter ^^

1I’m making stylistic choices: for username (no spaces), I’ll use @ symbol, but for display name (have spaces), I’ll use brackets []2Ying in Jiang Ying’s name means shadow.