Episode 73 – I Shouldn’t Blame Idol sama….

When I arrived at school, I felt uncomfortable.

I put my shoes in the shoe box, went to the classroom, and took my seat. It’s just the usual thing, but the atmosphere in the classroom was different.

It’s somewhat……difficult to explain what’s different by saying it out loud, but my classmates …..no, the girls in the class were somewhat distant.

Well, that’s not really a problem for me.

It’s just that the recent pile of love letters and the rushed confessions from the three beautiful girls plus an extra were unusual, I was fine because I’ve just returned to my previous self, but more than that, there was something strange about the people who confessed to me.

The girls, who were usually in a group of four, were sitting apart from each other.

My childhood friend was talking to a different girl from her usual group, the gyaru’s eyes were rolling when she saw me, and Idol sama was somewhat wandering around.

Well, it’s because of yesterday…..and I know that it’s awkward.

I would’ve taken the day off too if I could, but as long as my step sister is at school, I can’t run away either.

That’s why I came to the high school like this, but my step sister, who was important to me, was lying face down in her seat. When I saw her, I felt trapped by guilt.

But there’s nothing to correct that.

Because I don’t think I made a mistake.

The only thing that makes it painful is that my step sister and I sat next to each other.

It’s a different kind of awkwardness than the awkwardness I felt before I got my hair cut.

“Yo, Riku ! ! Good morning !!”

“G-good morning……”

Genpaku called out to me from behind without knowing that I was feeling nervous since this morning.

I was surprised to be suddenly called out and greeted Genpaku back with a confused look on my face. Then, Genpaku’s eyes narrowed as if he sensed something.

“….What’s wrong?”

“No, I just thought that something was strange today…..”

Genpaku’s eyes and comments that seemed to see through something made my heart jump. Was my expression really that obvious?

“W-what is it?”

“Well……, don’t you think the atmosphere in the classroom is strange?””

“Not really……”

I tried to play it cool, since It doesn’t seem like it’s about me, but I’m nervous inside.

I can’t help it., since I’m not sure if I’m the one who caused this atmosphere.

“Is that so? But….. I knew something was wrong.”

“What is?”

In contrast to Genpaku, who said that something was strange, I pretended that I couldn’t read the atmosphere…..but, I dug my own grave.

“What do you mean, look…..”

Genpaku, who hadn’t decided on an answer yet, looked around the classroom, beckoned me, and whispered lightly into my ear.

Normally, this would be a scene that would cause some of the girls to make a fuss when they see it, but not today…….

On the contrary, They’re talking about something with the volume of their voices increasingly lowered.

It’s like they know everything …….

No, I suspect that Genpaku also knows everything and dares to ask.

There’s no reason for this guy to…..there is.

Suddenly, I remembered the exchange with the delinquent in my mind.

I think the plan that he did with the delinquent was done in the wrong way, but nothing has happened since then….

So I don’t blame him one way or the other, but I don’t know what he was thinking in his mind the day before.

So even yesterday’s……

“The atmosphere in the class is heavy. Especially among the girls… For example…”

Despite my thoughts, Genpaku looked around the class again. And then, when he looked at my step sister, he pointed at her and called her name [……Like Kaizei san.].

My step sister who got called out shook her shoulders, and I got a little nervous..

“I-isn’t it just your imagination?”

“Is that so? Besides, today, Miuchi san and Reizei san are also…….”

“I said it’s just your imagination.”

Genpaku’s successive guesses about the parties involved in yesterday’s events frighten me. But when I insisted that it was just his imagination, Genpaku looked at me with suspicion.

My eyes must have been spinning when he stared at me. That’s how trembling I was.

“Really? Well, that’s fine……”

Even though Genpaku saw right through me, he was convinced. No, I don’t think he was convinced, but he reluctantly stopped talking.

He may have realized that it would be futile to pursue the matter any further……

Then class started and time passed as usual. But the somewhat heavy atmosphere….. that surrounded the class remained the same.

Today’s classes were over and I was getting ready to go home. When I looked around the classroom, I saw that my classmates had already left either for club activities or went home, and only a few students were left.

The four of them had already gone home, and the only one left was Idol sama.

The fact that the four of them, who usually went home together, were leaving, except the idol sama, probably still had something to do…..

As I was thinking of that, Idol sama approached me. Her expression was somewhat intense, and she seemed to be trying to say something.

“Kaizei kun, can I have a minute?”

Just like I thought, Idol sama approached me.

Judging from the expression on her face, it’s not like she’s going to confess again…

Then, it’s about yesterday’s matter…….

“Yeah….”

While feeling tired of being reminded of yesterday’s event, I followed idol sama.

The destination was the place where she confessed the other day.

But today is different……

“Kaizei kun, about yesterday’s matter…..”

…..As i thought.

When I listened to Idol sama’s story, I let out a sigh.

“I don’t think the way you’re dealing with it is right….”

“…………”

I remained silent at idol sama’s words.

Seeing that, she continued to speak.

“Even the girls had the courage to put their thoughts into words and the feelings they had in their hearts, and it’s pitiful…..to deny them completely.”

……I know.

I know I’m not highly favored.

However, it’s easier to make up for it without saying anything than to shake things up with superficial words…

But, I said it in the end. I couldn’t help but say it. I may have been a child, but I couldn’t make it up.

Idol sama’s intense gaze stabbed me. At that gaze, something snapped inside of me.

“I know, I know that. I know that already !  !”

Idol sama’s shoulders flinched at my yelling.

“I don’t want to say that either ! !”

Emotions that rarely come out…are revealed.

“But I can’t help it ! ! You don’t even know what those three had said to me ! !” 

My emotion that piled up was pouring down my cheeks.

Idol sama’s expression changed when she saw that.

It seems that she’s clearly upset by my tears…

I felt sorry for myself, but I don’t care about such things and let my tears overflow.I shouldn’t show my weakness….

I’m sure that the emotions that have been building up since I was a child have overflowed like a broken dam….

[Does that have anything to do with you? ]

Suddenly, the words from a certain person came to my mind….

“Even I have the right to choose people……. I don’t want Reizei san, who doesn’t know anything, to step in ! !”

The moment I uttered those words, Idol sama’s expression changed from bewilderment to shock.

But I turned on my heel and started running without seeing the look on her face. I didn’t want to expose my ugly self any further to anyone.

“Ah, wait a minute ! !”

I heard Idol sama’s voice calling out to me as I suddenly started to run, but I didn’t care, I ran away…..

The words I just heard were someone’s words who had already given up……who suddenly appeared at the cram school when I was in middle school and suddenly left.