Lack of Love

Zhong Qiran had been searching for a psychologist recently. Recently , there were some improvement in Yan Hao’s condition, and he hoped that Yan Hao could continue to progress or even recover fully. After all, he wasn’t a professional and couldn’t solely rely on his own thoughts to judge the progress of Yan Hao’s recovery. It was also not feasible to always bother the previous psychologist.

He had been thinking about this for a while but refrained from mentioning it because Yan Hao had previously rejected his mother’s request for a new psychologist. However, with Yan Hao showing some changes now, he believed it was the right time. Instead of blindly searching for solutions on his own, it was better to seek professional help.

Yan Hao didn’t express any opposition after listening to Zhong Qiran’s suggestion. He knew that his mother had some ulterior motives, hoping to cure his homosexuality as well, which was why he had rejected her in the past. Most parents were like that, so there was nothing new about that behavior. But Zhong Qiran was different; he genuinely wanted what was best for him, and Yan Hao had no reason to refuse.

After getting Yan Hao’s consent, Zhong Qiran researched online and consulted the previous psychologist. That doctor was the one who understood Yan Hao’s situation the best. After evaluating the situation, the doctor actually recommended Zhong Qiran to find a clinical psychologist. Based on Yan Hao’s current condition, he was essentially no different from an average person and only needed follow-up care. Clinical psychologists had more experience in dealing with patients over a longer period, especially in cases of brain injuries and ongoing psychological distress.

Zhong Qiran followed the doctor’s advice and decided to look for a clinical psychologist, intending to engage in long-term counseling and monitoring.

It was impossible for the Yan family not to know about this matter. Yan’s father expressed optimism, saying that the family could afford it, and hiring a specialist for treatment was not a problem. Yan’s mother, on the other hand, still harbored some resentment due to Yan Hao’s previous rejection, feeling uneasy about it.

With the doctor’s recommendation, Zhong Qiran finalized a candidate. He personally made a phone call to inquire, and after the person heard about Yan Hao’s situation, they showed a lot of interest and agreed to discuss it in person.

However, Zhong Qiran was a bit surprised when he heard the person’s voice—it sounded quite young.

It was only on the day when the person visited in person that Zhong Qiran realized that they were not just sounding young but were actually very young. They had just graduated and were currently interning.

Zhong Qiran didn’t judge people based on their age but rather on their experiences. He couldn’t imagine how someone younger than him could  bypass graduate school and obtain a clinical psychologist license through the national special examination. The clinical psychologist was attractive and had a pleasant appearance. He had a similar temperament to Zhong Qiran, but with a more scholarly vibe. He smiled politely and introduced himself, saying, “Hello, my name is Lian Sijiao.”

Zhong Qiran was momentarily stunned but quickly regained his composure and invited him into the house.

Although Mr. Yan had some doubts about this young boy, he didn’t say much. Mrs. Yan remained silent and sat on the side, observing.

Lian Sijiao was accustomed to such reactions and didn’t find them strange. After understanding Yan Hao’s situation, he quickly formulated a counseling plan. He displayed a high level of professionalism, making it impossible to doubt or underestimate him. In just a few brief conversations, the doubts about his age from the Yan family were quickly dispelled.

Zhong Qiran had always admired confident and composed individuals, and he felt a fondness for Lian Sijiao.

Unlike he usually did before, Yan Hao didn’t focus solely on Zhong Qiran. He directed more of his attention towards the psychologist. When Yan Hao had an expressionless face, it could be intimidating, but Lian Sijiao seemed completely unfazed and engaged comfortably in eye contact and conversation with Yan Hao.

Seeing this scene, Mrs. Yan remained calm on the surface but secretly clenched her fingers.

Zhong Qiran quickly finalized the schedule with Lian Sijiao, initially agreeing on twice-weekly psychological counseling. Lian Sijiao left a good impression, displaying a friendly and confident attitude.

In a certain sense, he was unforgettable. If Lian Sijiao were gay, he would undoubtedly be very popular.

Zhong Qiran didn’t know what happened, but after meeting Lian Sijiao, he started feeling somewhat uncertain. He naturally wanted the best person to treat Yan Hao, but if someone was too good, it made him feel uneasy. Especially during their subsequent counseling sessions, they would spend a lot of time alone together. Zhong Qiran realized that he might have been spoiled by Yan Hao during this period and, for a moment, wished for him to remain the same, only having possessive feelings towards him. It was said that love is selfish, and now it seemed to be true.

Yan Hao had just finished taking a shower and noticed Zhong Qiran lost in thought. He walked up behind him and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Zhong Qiran turned around and jokingly said, “I’m afraid someone might kidnap you.”

“I won’t let that happen,” Yan Hao said casually yet firmly. “If it bothers you, then let’s find someone else.”

Hearing his familiar tone, Zhong Qiran immediately calmed down. He shook his head and said, “No need. I think I’m just envious of him.”

“Why?” Yan Hao’s tone was flat and indifferent, as if he didn’t understand what there was to envy about that person. Being a gifted individual himself, even without the sequelae of the accident, he probably found it hard to understand the feeling of envy.

“Because he doesn’t fear the judgment of others and wholeheartedly pursues what he wants,” Zhong Qiran replied. This used to be something he felt he couldn’t do. Although he had taken this step now, reflecting on the past still brought some emotions. If he had been more resolute, many things would have been resolved easily, and there wouldn’t have been so many misunderstandings and regrets.

“No need to envy him,” Yan Hao said. “In my eyes, you are the best.”

Yan Hao’s psychological counseling soon began.

Lian Sijiao was a highly professional counselor. He not only analyzed Yan Hao’s situation but also individually interviewed each member of the Yan family to gain a comprehensive understanding.

Mr. and Mrs. Yan praised him highly. After Zhong Qiran had a conversation with Lian Sijiao, he completely trusted him.

After the first week, Zhong Qiran no longer mentioned changing counselors, and his wariness towards Lian Sijiao seemed to diminish.

After the second week, Yan Hao was able to open up about his past with Zhong Qiran.

After the third week, Yan Hao would sometimes gaze at Lian Sijiao absentmindedly.

Since the start of the psychological counseling, Mrs. Yan had been closely monitoring her son’s changes. After all, she was the one who arranged for this to happen, and she wanted to see the results. Initially, she couldn’t find a suitable candidate through her sisters, but she accidentally learned about Zhong Qiran’s search for a clinical psychologist. She saw it as an opportunity. To make sure neither of them would suspect anything, the best way was for Zhong Qiran to find this person on his own.

Although Mrs. Yan didn’t know much about Zhong Qiran, she knew he wouldn’t harm her son. In the medical field, information about people quickly spread. So she found Lian Sijiao ahead of Zhong Qiran, but when she explained her intentions, he politely declined. She didn’t give up and left a blank check, along with many attractive conditions, for him to consider.

Mrs. Yan waited for a few more days but received no response. She had almost given up hope when Lian Sijiao took the initiative to visit. This reignited her hope.

Indeed, Lian Sijiao didn’t disappoint her. In just three short weeks, he had captivated her son’s attention.

Mrs. Yan didn’t sit idly either. She found a way to create a coincidental encounter between the two outside. Although Zhong Qiran commuted with Yan Hao, their positions were different, so he couldn’t always be with him. If she wanted to know her son’s schedule, it was as simple as asking him a question. So, when her son went on a business trip one day, she sent a message to Lian Sijiao, urging him to seize the opportunity. So, under the arrangement of Mrs. Yan, Yan Hao and Lian Sijiao finally met.

Mrs. Yan sat in the car, watching the two of them standing on the road and exchanging a few words before walking together in the direction of the restaurant.

Compared to Zhong Qiran, Mrs. Yan was indeed more satisfied with Lian Sijiao. But whether she found him pleasing to the eye or not was another matter. After all, her son couldn’t possibly spend his whole life with a man.

Lian Sijiao was dressed more casually today and didn’t have that serious and solemn look he had at work.

But Yan Hao couldn’t help but be attracted to him. He admitted that he was indeed a bit confused at first, but later he understood that he saw a shadow of Zhong Qiran in Lian Sijiao.

This was a high-end Chinese restaurant, with screens placed between each table for privacy during conversations. The waiter led the two to their seats, poured water, but they hadn’t ordered yet.

As soon as they sat down, Yan Hao asked, “Who asked you to approach me?”

Lian Sijiao smiled at him, showing no embarrassment after being exposed. He said, “I was wondering when you would finally ask.”