Lack of Love

 

When Zhong Qiran learned about Yan’s mother’s plan from Yan Hao, he surprisingly didn’t feel as angry as he had imagined. Instead, he felt helpless. It seemed that when a person reached a certain level of disappointment, they would have no thoughts left. But even if he knew, he didn’t know what to do with Yan’s mother for the time being.

He couldn’t let Yan Hao intervene, not because he was worried that Yan Hao wouldn’t, but because it would only add another accusation of  him “instructing son to defy mother” .

The challenge was to find a way to achieve peaceful coexistence without both parties suffering. He believed that there could be a better solution.

Zhong Qiran couldn’t find an opportunity at the moment, and he wasn’t in a hurry either. He had wanted to call Lian Sijiao to express his gratitude, but he didn’t answer the call. Instead, he unexpectedly received a call from Li Qi.

After Li Qi returned to the country, they were in different cities, not too far apart but still requiring several hours of travel in order to meet.

Li Qi happened to be coming to their area for a business trip, so he thought of having a meal with Zhong Qiran. They had previously agreed to meet whenever they had time before graduation, so Zhong Qiran didn’t refuse.

After hanging up the phone, Zhong Qiran thought about telling Yan Hao, but he didn’t know how Yan Hao would react.

Yan Hao asked, “Just the two of you?”

“Yes.”

Yan Hao emphasized the word, “Alone?”

Zhong Qiran smiled, “Li Qi is here on a business trip, we’re just meeting for lunch.”

Yan Hao intentionally asked, “Can’t I join you?”

“Are you sure I’ll be able to eat properly after you meet him?” Zhong Qiran wanted to tease him since he had the chance. “Yan Hao, if you act like this, I’ll think you’re jealous.”

Yan Hao wasn’t phased by his words at all. On the contrary, he admitted openly, “Yes, I am jealous. So, is there any chance for me to join you two?”

Zhong Qiran didn’t expect Yan Hao to make demands and was momentarily stunned. “You had a meal with Lian Sijiao last time too and I didn’t make a big deal out of it.”

“Didn’t you say you didn’t mind?” Yan Hao responded matter-of-factly. “But I do mind, so it’s normal for me to ask to join you two.”

For a moment, Zhong Qiran actually considered whether it was worth having a meal with Li Qi. But he immediately realized that Yan Hao was simply overreacting. “Don’t act like a child, don’t be so childish.”

Yan Hao, being called a child, said, “I’m looking out for my own interests.”

Zhong Qiran didn’t know how to continue the conversation with him.

On the agreed day, Zhong Qiran met Li Qi at a restaurant. It was a busy commercial area, and it was crowded at lunchtime, so they had to squeeze onto a small table to eat.

When they were interning in Country M before, they occasionally squeezed together at a small table to do reports. Now, that felt a bit nostalgic, and the awkwardness that had formed from not seeing each other for a long time seemed to have faded away.

Li Qi usually dressed casually, but because of the business trip, he was wearing a formal suit. Although he didn’t have the same aura as Yan Hao, he was indeed good-looking, full of vitality, the type of person that high school girls would like to date.

Li Qi noticed Zhong Qiran staring at him and deliberately gave a mischievous smile, saying, “What, regret not choosing me?”

Zhong Qiran jokingly replied, “You’d better not talk. Speaking just ruins your image.”

Li Qi didn’t mind and said, “This is just how I am.”

Being with Li Qi was easy and straightforward. They could speak their minds without worrying too much. He had the maturity of an adult but wasn’t serious, very easy-going, and sometimes had a childlike nature that made people like him. Most importantly, after Li Qi graduated and returned to the country, he was highly regarded by the company and his salary doubled. Many headhunting companies approached him, making him a winner in life.

Such a person shouldn’t be lacking companionship. But after talking about recent events for a while, Zhong Qiran learned that Li Qi was still single.

“I’ve been too busy recently, so I don’t have the mental energy for it right now.” Li Qi smiled bitterly and immediately changed the topic. “How about you? How are you and Yan Hao?”

Zhong Qiran could tell that Li Qi didn’t want to talk about it further, so he didn’t bring it up again. Li Qi had been someone Zhong Qiran confided in when they were in a foreign land, and even now, that habit seemed unchanged, except that the content of their conversations had shifted from venting to heartfelt discussions. Li Qi was also one of the few who knew about their reunion but had kept it a secret. If Zhong Qiran had met Li Qi a little earlier or later, he might not have trusted him as much. Sometimes, revealing one’s inner secrets to others only requires the right timing, so Zhong Qiran cherished that kind of connection.

After chatting for a while, Zhong Qiran temporarily excused himself to go to the restroom. His phone was placed on the table, and at that moment, someone called, and the caller ID showed Lian Sijiao’s name.

While Li Qi inadvertently glanced at the phone, his gaze couldn’t move away from that name.

There were many people with the same name, but this surname was extremely rare, so he couldn’t mistake them for someone else..

While Li Qi was still in a daze, Zhong Qiran returned and timely answered the call.

Li Qi overheard Zhong Qiran’s conversation and pretended to casually ask, “Do you have something to do later?”

Zhong Qiran didn’t feel the need to hide and said, “Yes, I’m going to meet Yan Hao’s psychotherapist.”

“Mm.” Li Qi responded absentmindedly, his thoughts completely elsewhere.

Zhong Qiran was still thinking about what to say when they met later and didn’t notice Li Qi’s abnormality. “You should still be staying here for a few more days, right? Let’s make plans when you have time.”

“Sure.”

Li Qi watched Zhong Qiran walk out of the restaurant, hesitated for a few seconds, and then followed him out, trailing behind Zhong Qiran.

He did have something important to attend to later, an important work matter. But now, he didn’t want to think about it too much. He wanted to know what his long-lost and elusive ex-boyfriend would have to say when they saw each other.

 Zhong Qiran had arranged to meet Lian Sijiao at a nearby café. It was within walking distance. Initially, he had thought of expressing his gratitude directly over the phone, but later he felt it would be better to say it in person. Besides, there were some things he wanted to say, so he decided to meet face to face.

When Zhong Qiran arrived, Lian Sijiao was already there. He was sitting by the window, typing on his phone, as if sending a message.

They greeted each other upon meeting. Zhong Qiran went straight to the point, “You didn’t have to do this at all. It’s risky for you, but thank you anyway.”

Lian Sijiao understood what he was talking about.. “It doesn’t matter. I just couldn’t stand by and do nothing. Even if I had refused Yan’s mother at that time, I would have offended her just the same. There’s no difference.” Zhong Qiran had experienced Yan’s mother’s temper before. If she found out she had been fooled, she wouldn’t easily let Lian Sijiao off the hook. “I don’t know how much help I can be of you, but if you ever encounter difficulties in the future, you can always come to me.”

Lian Sijiao smiled and shook his head. “You should worry about yourself first instead of worrying about me.”

“Zhong Qiran, tolerating everything blindly won’t make things better, it will only make them worse. You should be the one who understands this the most. I won’t stop you from seeking a win-win solution, but don’t idealize human nature too much. Even so, are you still not planning to give up?”

“When I decided to be with Yan Hao again, I decided not to run away anymore. If I give up, wouldn’t that mean I’m surrendering to her? I don’t like that.”

Lian Sijiao smiled helplessly. “I knew you would say that. That’s why I agreed to meet you today.”

Zhong Qiran looked at him with confusion.

“You want to confront her but can’t find the right way and opportunity, and you don’t want to involve me, right?” Lian Sijiao stared at Zhong Qiran, motioning for him to lean forward a bit. “I’ll tell you the simplest way.”

As he said this, Zhong Qiran leaned forward a bit.

Lian Sijiao whispered, “Before I came here, I informed Yan’s mother that you would come to negotiate with me.”

Before Zhong Qiran could comprehend the meaning of his words, Lian Sijiao suddenly stood up, splashed the water from his cup onto Zhong Qiran, and slapped him.

Zhong Qiran covered his face, staring at him in disbelief.

Lian Sijiao intentionally raised his voice, “Zhong Qiran, give up. Yan Hao is mine.”

Meanwhile, Li Qi, who had been secretly watching from outside, witnessed the scene. Without hesitation, he rushed into the café, grabbing Lian Sijiao’s hand.

Upon seeing Li Qi, Lian Sijiao’s expression instantly turned sour. “You…”

Li Qi didn’t say anything. In front of Zhong Qiran, he directly pulled Lian Sijiao away.