Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Li Xiang nodded. She gestured as she explained. “I can’t afford to risk weakening myself with childbirth with the battle with All-Heavens on the horizon, but afterward, we can attempt reproduction.”

Hui blinked at her. “Eh… hold up, Li Xiang. You…”

She tilted her head. “We’ve been close for a long time, right? Breeding with someone you like after a long relationship is normal, no?”

“No, no, no, hold up, I’m… I’m lost,” Hui said, shaking his head. What happened to my cute and sweet Li Xiang, who dared to hold my hand and snuck out to look at the stars at night together back on Starbound Peak? Who is this?

Equally confused, she frowned at him. “We already accomplished romance, right? We held hands.” Her grip on his tightened. “And grew close physically.” She patted his head. “So the next step is, naturally, bree—”

A riot sounded in his head, all the various clones shouting at one another. Hui put a hand over her mouth hurriedly. “If Elder Sister says that word one more time, I think the rest of my clones are going to murder me.”

Is that really how she thinks romance works? Did we qualify as having a relationship? Wait, since when does Li Xiang think we were dating? Does she know what dating is? Hui rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath. “There’s so much to unravel that I don’t know where to start.”

One persistent voice sounded in his head. Ask her if we can do Bai Xue ask her if we can do Bai Xue ask her—

Where’s the mute button? Rogue asked.

Healer sighed. Peak Lord, calm down. What’s gotten into you, anyways?

I’m the one stuck in isolation on this damn lonely peak! At least allow me to have some fun! I haven’t seen a human in ages, let alone a woman! Just me and the wolf. There was Bai Jingwen, but she was sleeping in a tree, and she ran off the second she awoke! I’m so damn lonely! Peak Lord raged.

Healer, we should adjust that barrier to not allow Bai Xue in. Otherwise, I think Peak Lord is going to make lots of Bai Clan babies for us to babysit, Rogue said dryly.

I’m already babysitting the rest of the damn clone bodies. What’s a few more brats? Peak Lord replied.

Healer pressed a hand to his forehead. The barrier already doesn’t allow Bai Xue in, so don’t worry. Peak Lord, calm down. If you must, I’m sure you could leave the peak for a few days without much risk. If you’re so lonely as to lose your rationality, we’d be better off with you taking a vacation than forcing you to stay on that peak.

Fuck yeah! Peak Lord cheered.

If wanting to do Bai Xue counts as losing your rationality, mark me down as irrational, Rogue said with a grin.

Hey Rogue, wanna meet up? I don’t think they’d say ‘no’ to two at once… Peak Lord asked.

Healer sighed deeply.

Hui shook his head. He took a deep breath. “Li Xiang… are we a couple?”

Li Xiang frowned at him. “No.”

“But you’d… breed with me?” Hui asked.

“We’d be a couple then,” Li Xiang clarified.

Hui blinked. “Er, Elder Sister, please forgive me if you already know this, but… generally people become a couple before they have… before they breed.”

“Eh,” Li Xiang said, frowning.

Hold on. Is this why… Hui coughed. “Er, back in the sect, I understand that you were seen as aloof, an untouchable princess beyond ordinary cultivators. Would this… maybe… have something to do with that image…?”

“There were a great many men who asked me to go out and breed with them. I had no desire to go out of the sect to breed, or breeding with them, so I turned them down,” Li Xiang returned.

Hui choked. “Li Xiang, ‘going out’ doesn’t mean… doesn’t mean… breeding!”

“It doesn’t?” she asked, tilting her head again.

“No, it means… er, it means… getting to know one another romantically,” Hui explained.

“Getting to know each other romantically, or in other words, breeding,” Li Xiang returned patiently. “I asked all those men if they wanted to breed with me, and they said yes. Naturally, I understand if someone who cannot perceive truth would be confused, but—”

Hui put his head in his hands. Where to start? Ugh! So she got this twisted understanding because of her truth-sense? After all, naturally, anyone who asks her out would eventually want to sleep with her! If she asked them if they wanted to, the only true answer would be ‘yes!’ But that doesn’t mean that ‘going out’ immediately equates to sleeping together…

Am I too pure? Am I the one who’s too pure for this world? Hui suddenly wondered. Lifting his head, he gazed a thousand miles into the distance. Maybe that’s the norm for this world…

No, no, Hui, don’t get swept away! It’s because of the wide cast of Li Xiang’s truth-sense, and its lack of nuance, that she got the wrong impression. No matter where you are or who you are, romantic interest will almost always equate to sexual interest! Li Xiang, being able to see truth, and being a sword spirit originally on top of that, misunderstood. I’m not the one who’s wrong! I’m not!

Hui clutched Li Xiang by her shoulders, staring deep into her eyes, barely clinging to his sanity. “Li Xiang, when we revive the sect, and All-Heavens Sect is ash beneath our feet, let’s, let’s—” Don’t say go out! “—let’s get to know each other, romantically!”

“Eh. But don’t we already?” she asked.

“We—”

“I really don’t understand. Did Bai Xue not induct you into their harem? Ah, naturally, I must be the first wife,” Li Xiang stated, patting his head comfortingly. She paused for a moment. “Hmm, that might be complicated if you’re already in someone else’s harem, no? If you like, you can be my first husband instead.”

Hui shook his head. “You—”

The door slammed open. “Master—”

Ying Lin’s eyes widened. She looked at Li Xiang, patting Hui’s head, and Hui, holding her close by her shoulders, and backed away. “Ah, never mind me, never mind me. I see Master is busy. Ah, disciple will go sequester herself somewhere far away, yes? Where she cannot be heard? Understood, understood.” Backing out, she shut the door behind her, but not before she winked at Hui one last time.

Hui bowed his head, gritting his teeth. Ying Lin, a thousand laps of the deck, dammit!

Li Xiang released Hui and stepped back, straightening her robes. “In any case, we can finish this discussion when we have revived the sect.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” Hui agreed, stepping back himself.

That’s where this is ending? Boring, Rogue complained.

Oh, shut up, Hui replied, rolling his eyes.

He stepped out of the room first, glancing left and right. At the sight of Ying Lin’s fleeing form, he pushed off the floor and charged after her. “Ying Lin!”

“I saw nothing, Master! Nothing! Please, continue!” Ying Lin shouted. She sped up as well, vanishing around the corner.

“Ying Lin, get back here!” Hui snapped, spinning around the corner. I need to explain things to her. Otherwise, who knows what that romance-loving disciple of mine will make up in her head? Who knows what rumors she’ll spread, without proper guidance?

Bursting around the corner, he found Ying Lin already turning the next one. He scowled. In these tight quarters, it’s hard to get the speed to catch up to her without destroying the boat.

“Eh, Master, you’re leaving your lover so easily? Shouldn’t you run to her side to reassure her, instead?” Ying Lin called over her shoulder.

Alright, that’s enough. Hui flicked his fingers, calling out to Gu Tian. Gu Tian jolted to a halt, pulling backward. Ying Lin slowed. In a breath, Hui caught up with her and caught her by her collar. Serious, he glared at her. “Ying Lin.”

“Master,” Ying Lin said, blinking innocently at him.

“You interrupted a very normal, casual conversation. There’s no need to go deciding strange things in your head,” Hui said firmly.

“Eh, a normal conversation where you hug each other and hold each other close inside a sound-deadening formation?” Ying Lin asked, blinking.

“That sometimes happens,” Hui said, nodding.

“Aside from Zhubi, when has Master held anyone?” Ying Lin asked, crossing her arms.

“I’m holding you right now,” Hui pointed out, gesturing to her collar.

“That doesn’t count. And neither does Zhubi. Something was happening between you and that beauty Li Xiang, just admit it, Master!” Ying Lin said, giving him a look.

Hui sighed. “Nothing worth gossiping about. Keep your thoughts to yourself, Ying Lin, and I can forget this happened.”

“Aww. But then I’ll never know… wait! I’ll go ask Li Xiang what happened!” Ying Lin said, thumping her fist into her open hand. “She can’t lie, after all, unlike Master.”

Hui glared at her. “Ying Lin…”

“Hmm?” Ying Lin gave him an innocent look.

Hui tightened his grip, then released her. “Stop your gossiping and go prepare for battle.”

Ying Lin bounced away, then cupped her hands to him. “Yes, Master!” She spun around and raced off into the ship again.

She’s totally going to go gossip, Hui thought to himself, sighing.

He turned back around, wandering along in the ship. I do need to go prepare. I should make a few talismans, test out my new bell weapon, maybe try making something of those talisman scraps I still haven’t decoded… Ah, I still don’t like fighting. It seems inevitable, but…

To think, Chen Xigui seemed so… I don’t know. Ordinary. Bratty. But truthfully, he’s a coldhearted villain who likes to murder women—okay, even when I met him, he did seem to like murdering women. But innocently. Er, not that there’s a way to innocently murder women…

Hui pressed a hand to his forehead and sighed. My thoughts are far too messy. Let’s add settling my mental energy to the list of battle preparations. Settling my mental energy, meditating, circulating my qi… I have a lot to prepare and so little time. Argh, battles are too scary. So scary. Can’t we all settle our disputes by talking?

But… no, I don’t think this can be settled by words. Chen Xigui has crossed too many lines. Someone needs to punish him, and in this world, that has to be us. The people with the strength to stop him, who care that he’s committing evil.

He stopped and turned, looking over his shoulder. It must be exhausting to be Li Xiang. So much evil to punish, and so few people willing to stand by her side. But… that’s how she gets stronger. One day, perhaps, she can become a force strong enough to clean up the cultivation world.

Hui smiled, just faintly. I hope I see that day.

“Heehee,” Ying Lin giggled from behind him.

Hui whipped around, scowling. “Ying Lin!”

“Smiling after her with that goofy grin? Master…” Ying Lin said, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Go! Prepare!” Hui snapped, charging at her. He shooed her away, putting a little bit of force in the blows so the wind buffeted her through the hallway away from him.

“Aww, but Master…” Unable to hold her ground, Ying Lin staggered reluctantly down the hallway, looking over her shoulder the whole time.

Hui pressed his lips together and waved his hand again, sending Ying Lin floating off. At least she didn’t go talk to Li Xiang. Small mercies.