Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

The city loomed up before them. Hui swallowed, checking his stock of talismans again. He peeked at the city from the ship’s rail, then went through his talismans one more time. There, there, there, yes, yes, hmm, okay, yes… all settled!

My mental energy is settled, my qi is circulating nicely, all my talismans are restocked, I’ve tried out the new beating stick—ahem, weapon, and it works fine, and… and, I guess, I guess there’s nothing to do but fight!

Hui swallowed, looking at the city. He rubbed the back of his neck. This is the first time I’ve set off into battle. I—I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all! I want to run away from danger, but instead, I’m the one creating danger. Ugh, this is completely counter to this small Hui’s way of life!

Li Xiang came up beside him. “I’ve notified the rest of the group. They’re headed to the city, and they’ll join us the moment battle begins.”

Hui nodded. “Are they fine with the two of us going to fight Chen Xigui without them?”

Li Xiang shrugged. “They don’t like it, but they admit that killing Chen Xigui takes precedence, and that a small group has a better chance than a large one.”

Mmm. Li Xiang’s too straightforward to pick up on the nuance, but I suspect they won’t actually stand by idly, waiting for the best chance to join in. Instead, isn’t it more likely they’ll look for the smallest excuse to jump into combat? No matter what, this is likely to devolve into a bloody battle. More motivation to kill Chen Xigui quickly, so I can escape before the mess starts!

Hui nodded. “Understood.”

He checked over his and Li Xiang’s disguises. Both of them had been subtly changed, unlike the suddenly-elder-looking Lu Xubo. Compared to his earlier disguise and his true face, Hui remained unrecognizable, and likewise for Li Xiang. A small gold pin glittered in her hair where the pink enamel pin usually sat, something Hui had been unable to resist adding.

He gestured at his head. “That pin.”

“Hmm? Oh, that,” Li Xiang said. She tapped the replacement disguise pin Hui had given her. “It’s something I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I don’t feel comfortable unless I’m wearing it.”

I wonder if it’s something from the original Li Xiang? Ah, speaking of… “As long as you can remember?” Hui prompted, already expecting an answer.

“Hmm. I woke up one day in the sect after experiencing a terrible fall. Master… that is, Lan Taijian, fortunately was there and quickly healed me, but I still experienced some memory losses. I can’t remember anything from before the sect.” Li Xiang paused, then shrugged. “I don’t mind. I suspect there isn’t anything of value in those memories.”

Experiencing a terrible fall… for her truth sense not to identify that as a lie, did Lan Taijian drop the newly-reformed Li Xiang down a cliff, or something? How brutal! Hui nodded. “It’s good that you don’t mind it.”

“If I need to know, I’ll surely discover it some day. If I don’t, then it can remain unknown to me until my ascension or death. As it is, we need to focus on the battles ahead of us, rather than on some meaningless forgotten memories,” Li Xiang said, looking at Hui.

“Of course. I understand,” Hui said.

Li Xiang’s nose wrinkled.

“Ah, rather than understanding, should I say that I don’t feel like pressing if you don’t mind it yourself?” Hui said.

Li Xiang’s nose kept wrinkling.

“Er, well, although this small cultivator is extremely curious, it’s ultimately not my place to force you to remember,” Hui said at last. If she could just remember what happened between Lan Taijian and Yunxu, I would know how to operate the soul array, and I’d know what drove Yunxu to use the soul array in the first place! Of course I’m curious. But now is not the time or the place, nor is it right for me to force someone else to remember something or not.

Li Xiang nodded. “Acceptable.”

Hui wiped his brow. Phew. Being truthful is hard work!

Ji Taiyu came up beside them. He gazed ahead, his hands swept behind his back. “Bao Huli and I will protect the ship. We’ll only hold everyone back at our current stage.”

Hui opened his mouth, but caught himself at the last minute. Bao Huli is pregnant, after all. There’s no need to put her in harm’s way. He nodded. “Retreat if you must. We can find our own route out of the city.”

Ji Taiyu nodded.

“Master, you’ll protect Bao Huli, right?” Bao Huli said, coming up beside him. She rested her head on his arm, leaning in close to him.

“Of course,” Ji Taiyu said tenderly. He instinctively lifted his hand to hold her closer, but dropped it and turned slightly away. He blushed furiously again.

Hui gazed into the horizon. Damn it, could the two of you be a little less obvious? While I was preparing for battle last night, what were you doing, huh? Huh?

Ah, no, no, it isn’t reasonable to, er, ‘properly dual cultivate’ on the night before a battle. No one would do that.

Except Bai Xue…

Bai Xue doesn’t count. When it comes to anything with dual cultivation, Bai Xue does not count!

Ying Lin bounded over. She beamed, settling on the rail beside him. “Master! Good morning.”

“Good morning, Elder Sister. You look pleased today,” Hui noted.

Ying Lin nodded. “Last night, I comprehended Li Xiang’s movement technique, and I feel like I’m on the verge of a breakthrough, too. I’m in top form! So don’t worry, Master. I’ll protect you.”

Hui coughed. Eh, between that affectionate fifth-stage disciple begging her third-stage master to protect her, and my third-stage disciple pledging to protect her fifth-stage master… which one is more incorrect?

“Ying Lin, you should follow Hui and myself. There is much you can learn, and there may be battles even a third-stage cultivator can participate in,” Li Xiang said.

“Yes, Ma… Sect-Aunt!” Ying Lin said, cupping her hands.

Eh, did you just call Li Xiang Master? With me right here? Hui thought. He shook his head. “Ying Lin…”

“Ah, you should see my Lightning Palm, Master! It’s very impressive now,” Ying Lin said, nodding.

Trying to placate me after you misspoke? You think this Master didn’t hear that? Hui thought, narrowing his eyes.

Ying Lin beamed at him, tilting her head.

Unaware of any of this, Li Xiang turned to Hui. “Ying Lin has talent with the sword. I know you have little talent with weapons of any sort, so you can leave her sword training to me. I’d hate to see her talent squandered.”

It’s all true, but Li Xiang, do you have to be so brutal about it? Hui cried internally, though he kept a neutral smile on his face. “Of course, of course, Elder Sister. I couldn’t want for a better teacher.”

“Master has talent with weapons. I’m sure of it! He hasn’t found it yet, but he’ll find it one day,” Ying Lin said, crossing her arms at Li Xiang.

Li Xiang blinked, a slight startled expression flashing across her face. “You… really believe that?”

Hui frowned at her. There’s no need to be so surprised about that! I know it’s a little surprising that anyone believes that, but, but, but Ying Lin is a good disciple with hope and belief in me!

“Mhm! I believe in Master. No one else does, so I have to!” Ying Lin said, nodding.

“Oh, hey!” Hui protested, unable to hold that back. “Other people believe in me.”

Ying Lin tilted her head. “Like who?”

“Like, uh, like…” He glanced over. “Li Xiang?”

“I do believe in your abilities. I’ve seen you fight, and you are a formidable opponent,” Li Xiang said, nodding.

“And Bai Xue,” Hui added, nodding.

“Bai Xue believes in you?” Ying Lin asked.

Hui nodded again. “Said so herself at our last meeting.”

“Eh, believes in you… to do what, though?” Ying Lin asked, a teasing light shining in her eyes.

Hui choked. He waved his hand. “There’s no need to go into details. It’s enough that someone believes in me, yes?”

Ying Lin giggled. She shook her head. “It counts, it counts. I’ll let you have it.”

“Besides, his Master isn’t here. I’m sure his Master believes in him as well,” Li Xiang stated.

Hui grimaced. “Er… well, maybe?”

“Maybe?” Li Xiang frowned at Hui. “Did he not choose you?”

“He chose me, but… to believe in me,” Hui muttered, pinching his chin. Did Master believe in me? What a question. I certainly never lived up to Master’s expectations, but who could? When I spoke with him, he… how to put it… seemed less disappointed in me than in anyone else? But definitely still disappointed in me. I don’t know. What does it mean to believe in someone, in the first place?

The entirety of the universe opened up before Hui. His eyes glazed over. Instinctively, he dropped into a lotus pose and began to meditate.

“Er… is it normal to gain enlightenment by being asked if your Master believes in you?” Ying Lin asked, glancing at Li Xiang.

Li Xiang shook her head. “Weiheng Hui is very talented in a great many ways. Only he could reach enlightenment from such a simple statement.”

“More like, only he lacks the self-esteem to start gaining enlightenment from finally considering whether his own Master believed in him,” Ying Lin muttered under her breath.

“That’s also true,” Li Xiang acknowledged.

Ying Lin glanced at Hui. “How long do we have before we reach the city? I don’t want to interrupt his enlightenment. He might actually gain self-esteem!”

“It’s bad to awaken someone early from enlightenment. I’ll slow the boat’s travelling pace to give him a bit more time,” Ji Taiyu offered.

“We appreciate it, Senior,” Ying Lin said.

Ji Taiyu gave her a sad smile. “You can call me Master if you like.”

Ying Lin shook her head. “Master gets jealous if I call other people Master when it isn’t necessary.”

“Isn’t necessary?” Ji Taiyu asked, frowning.

“Ah… I’m sorry. We were deceiving you,” Ying Lin said, glancing at the floor.

Ji Taiyu frowned. “Was that necessary? You’re the same level as me, and Second Dis… that is, your Master, is far above my level. If you wanted to travel alongside us, there was no need for deception.”

Ying Lin glanced at Hui. “Master is… a bit strange. He doesn’t believe in himself, nor does he like to flaunt his strength. I don’t really understand it myself, but he… probably believed that there was no way to peacefully coexist without deceiving you.”

“Peacefully coexist?” Bao Huli’s eyes flashed, and her fingernails suddenly grew sharp.

“Avoid being attacked by you, would be a better way to phrase it,” Ying Lin said, ignoring Bao Huli’s threat. She glanced at Hui. “In the time I’ve spent with Master, he’s spent almost all of it wearing someone else’s face. He’s so wrapped up in hiding who he is that he’s never stopped to consider if it’s necessary, or if those he deceives might be hurt by his deception. Not… out of malice or carelessness, but out of the assumption that everyone around him wants him dead.”

“You mean… he lives his life assuming everyone around him wants to kill him? That can’t be. What a sad and pathetic existence that would be,” Ji Taiyu said, frowning.

Ying Lin shrugged. “My Master is simply someone sad and pathetic. Ah, and—he makes exceptions once he gets to know people. Li Xiang, Bai Xue, even you, now, Ji Taiyu. But the general populace…

“I think… he must have been badly hurt in the past, to the point that he lost trust in everyone and everything. To the point that assuming everyone wants to kill him became the only way to survive.”

Li Xiang frowned. “I know his life in the sect wasn’t smooth, but it couldn’t be that extreme. If nothing else, his Master would have stepped in to save him if his life was truly under threat in a way he couldn’t handle.”

“But how much can Master handle? Much more than I can,” Ying Lin argued. After a moment, she shrugged. “This is all my own guesswork. I haven’t heard any of this from the man himself. I can only guess from our interactions.”

Li Xiang furrowed her brows. “I suppose I don’t know what happened to him before he entered the sect, but he entered the sect at five years old. How much punishment can a child that young survive?”

“Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s a complex he was born with. I don’t know,” Ying Lin said, shrugging.

Hui’s eyes snapped open. He took a deep breath and circulated his qi, giving a dazed glance around as if half asleep. He glanced at Ying Lin, then climbed back to his feet. “What’s a complex who was born with?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Ying Lin said, waving her hand.

“Are we talking about that Chen Xigui’s hobby of killing women? It’s definitely something deeply wrong with him. So firmly rooted in his soul that it can never be removed,” Hui said confidently, nodding. No one who can ‘innocently’ ask for women to be murdered like that can be easily cured. He’s already past the point of seeing it as any sort of taboo.

“Well… I don’t disagree with that,” Ying Lin said. She snorted and looked Hui up and down.

“Eh? Why are you looking at me, Elder Sister?” Hui asked.

“Nothing, nothing. Ah, Master, how did your enlightenment go? That was short!” Ying Lin said.

“Mmm! It went well. I realized that my Master didn’t believe in me, but that’s because, from the beginning, no one could match up to Master. Therefore, it’s fine that he didn’t believe in me, because Master was such a genius that he was fundamentally incapable of believing in anyone,” Hui said, nodding.

“Eh… is that considered ‘well?’” Ying Lin muttered under her breath.

Hui lightly slapped the back of her head. “Don’t be rude. Have we reached the city?”

“We’re almost there. Everyone, head inside. You’ll act as Ya Ai’s honor guards. Her sect has prepared an arrival announcement, and we shouldn’t get in the way of that,” Ji Taiyu said.

Right. Here we go. Hui nodded once, tense, then led the way into the heart of the ship. He patted his neck, and Zhubi readjusted his grip to curl around Hui’s upper arm instead. Lowering his cultivation to the fourth realm and subtly altering his aura by mixing in a trace of life qi, Hui descended to the heart of the ship, Ying Lin and Li Xiang at his side.