CHAPTER 9

THE UNFORESEEN ENDING

Because we can’t fly

So happiness is a long voyage

There are inevitably storms ahead

 When we cross the sea of love

 We’ll be glad we didn’t give up after all

On the shore of prosperity, the tears that shed along the way will become treasures..

 SHE <The Ocean of Love>

Days of boredom and idleness, my story, finally finished writing.

    Ling Xia promised me that he would read it properly.

    We had an appointment at Silk Street Bar.

    It was late afternoon, and the whole street was napping. The bar wouldn’t open until three o’clock. I told the waiter I had an appointment with Ling Xia, and he greeted me warmly and poured a cup of tea for me.

I waited for Ling Xia for a while before I saw him hurrying in through the door, wearing a low brimmed hat, showing off his singer’s style without realizing it, and sitting down across from me, he said, embarrassed, “Sorry, five minutes late.”

“That’s okay, how are your songs going?” I asked.

“The show is tomorrow night. By the way, there’s something else to tell you, I quit my job.” He said, “I’ve officially signed with the record company, yesterday.”

    I didn’t expect it to happen so soon, and I was really happy for him: “So you’re really going to be a singer?”

    “Ha ha.” Ling Xia said, “I don’t want to let go of this opportunity.”

I took out the flash drive from my bag and handed it to him and said, “Here’s all mine, I hope you’ll like the ending.”

    “What kind,” Ling Xia said, “can you reveal a little bit first?”

    “See for yourself.” I smiled and took a big sip of tea.

” See how confident you are.” Ling Xia said, “There must be no mistake.”

    “I’ll take your flattery. Just, when is the song called ‘Not far not close’ going to be sung to me?”

    “Whenever you want, as long as you’re not busy.” He said.

    I thought for a moment and said, “Now?”

    “Now?” Ling Xia looked towards the stage and said, “It’s not the time for the show, is it?”

“Can’t you make an exception for me?”

 “OK.” He said cheerfully. Then he went to borrow a guitar from the owner. It was to my taste, the borrowed guitar was a wooden one. Ling Xia held it on the stage, I looked around, except for the boss and one or two waiters, there was no customer in the bar. Ling Xia nodded slightly towards me, a finger movement, the voice of the music sounded: 

The  world keep changes constantly / today we are together but tomorrow we are apart / it’s like a relationship that not far not close / seemingly distant but we are close /only my heart only my heart understand that I will never give up in my life……

The song was written flawlessly and sang until my heart turn a thousand times. When he finished singing, I forgot to applaud. Until he came off the stage, leaned over and asked me: ” Do you like it?”

    I covered my mouth and laughed, I must have looked so silly.

    He did not let me go and continued to ask, “Do you like it?”

    And my tears fell at that very moment.

    “Fool.” He took hold of my hand on the table: “You want to scare me to death with all the joy and sorrow?”

    I couldn’t move from his grip, and it took me a while to pull my hand out. Then I heard him sigh, “Tianyi, what should I do with you?”

    “I’m not a child anymore.” I lifted my head to look at him bravely.

    “To me, you always will be.” He said.

“Seven years isn’t a problem at all.” I claimed to be even bolder.

    “For me, it will always be.”

    “You’re hurting me.” I said resentfully.

    “For me, the biggest fear is that it will keep hurting.” He was so hard-hearted, giving me hope to move forward, but then kept leading me around the maze so I couldn’t find the exit.

    So I had to harden my heart even more and say to him, “I’m not afraid.”

    “Tianyi you let me think?” There was an element of yielding in his tone.

    So I rode my luck: “Okay, three days. You can choose to be my boyfriend or you can choose to leave me forever.”

“Is your story also have this kind of ending?” He smiled, “Actually there is a third way, have you thought about it?”

    “No.” I said bluntly, “Nor will I think about it.”

    “Say you’re a child and you’re a child.” He was helpless.

He sent me home that day, and we parted near the neighborhood, he had to rush back to rehearsal, a big show was waiting for him. When we said goodbye, I asked him, “Have you ever had a failed relationship?”

He looked at me for a long time and then answered me, “Yes.”

“I will always, treat you gently.” I said, “No matter what kind of ending you give me.”

    He reached out his hand, the same customary action, and gave my hair a quick rub. Then, then without my expectation, he embraced me. A hug that couldn’t have been lighter. I smelled the faint scent of his clothes, this night overlapped wonderfully with the night after that night study session, and I could no longer breathe.

    Until he let go of me. He turned around and walked away.

    He didn’t look back.

    So he didn’t know that I had followed him.

    I followed him for two bus transfers to the place where he was rehearsing. It was a famous performance center in the city, and there were a lot of people coming and going at the door, and I didn’t have a work permit, so the gatekeeper wouldn’t let me in. I was inspired and said, “I’m looking for my dad, I’m in a hurry, I’ll be right out.”

    “Who is your father?” He asked me with a stern face.

” Ma Dao.” I made up a name. Who knew that once he heard it he waved his hand and said, “Then go in and get back quickly.”

    I was almost blissfully happy. Quietly slipped in. Although it is a rehearsal, there are a lot of people in the stands, I quietly found a corner to sit down, try not to let Ling Xia see me. The front of the program always NG, I waited for a long time until he sang, he sang the song has a name I do not like, actually called “Farewell”

I’m intoxicated by my love

 In the bright lights of the night

How much I want to just fall into a deep sleep like this

Tears flow into my dreams and I wake up and don’t remember

After once sailing in the same direction

 Your own is yours and my own is mine

Please listen to me, please lean on me

 Please don’t be afraid of the silence of this moment

One more look and one more glance and you’ ll be old

One more smile and one more laugh and you’ll be gone

After once sailing in the same direction

Each twist and turn, each loneliness

The original returned to the original, the future returned to the future

    In his song, the night became strangely illuminated. I did not tell him that I listened to his song, I was on my way home alone with cheerful feet and a smile filling the corners of my mouth. I had no doubt that Ling Xia would give me the answer three days later, and I even thought schemingly: how his affectionate heart could beat my young and beautiful persistence, ha ha? I just couldn’t understand it at that time, how could a seventeen-year-old me beat the tricks of fate?

The more unexpected is that from that night onwards, as he sang in his song, we really each twist and turn, each lonely.

    The original returned to the original, the future returned to the future.

    The next morning.

I was still dreaming when I was awakened by Luo Lin’s phone call. She said cheerfully on the other end of the phone, “Lazy cat, still not up? You’re invited to see a show tonight!”

    “What show?” My heart fluttered.

    “An evening of original Chinese music.” Luo Lin said, “Our company is sponsoring it. Your uncle specifically asked me to save you a VIP ticket; he said you’d like to hear one of the bands sing.”

    “Your company sponsored it?” I didn’t believe it.

    “Take a look at the newspaper, the ‘Night of Antenna’ original music party!” Luo Lin said, “Little dumb melon!”

    “How come my uncle didn’t tell me about it?” I wondered.

Luo Lin laughed: “That’s funny, you’ re the boss or he’ s the boss!”

    “It costs a lot of money to sponsor a show, doesn’t it?” I asked.

” Of course,” Luo Lin said, “The silver is flowing out of my hand personally. Hey, in fact, China’s original music has no chance, I already watch it, Mr. Xia  throw money into the water oh.”

    “He probably has no choice.” I said, “everywhere is asking him for money!”

” That is true, those days, ah, those people are sitting in his office will not leave. By the way, when Mr. Xia called me in I heard them mention you, saying that one of them is also your neighbor.”

    “Ling Xia?” I said.

    “Right. That should be the name.” Luo Lin said, “Well, I don’t have time to talk to you, I’ll see you at 7pm at the workplace. See you there.”

    “Yeah.” I said.

    But I missed the appointment. I didn’t go. I spent the rest of the day thinking about it and finally came to a clear and unquestionable conclusion that Ling Xia had used me, he had used me, and that’s why he was sponsored by his uncle. The only way to get the sponsorship of my uncle is perhaps to sign with a record company. If he never had any ulterior motives, how could he have kept all this from me?

    He used me with his “Not far not close” approach to me.

It was a deception.

Poor me, I was bruised and battered but had nowhere to talk to.

    In the evening, my uncle called and asked why I didn’t go. I excused myself and said I didn’t feel well enough to go. When I hung up the phone, my mother asked me who it was, and I said it was my uncle. Father interjected on the side and said do you know that your Teacher Ding even proposed to let your uncle to transfer his son from the security department to the finance department, huh, really not enough hearts.

    I was shocked: “Uncle agreed?”

    “Hey, you say he can not consider it?” Father finish saying and look at me meaningfully.

    “I’ll go back to school tomorrow.” I said, “I’ll get into a better school than Normal University.”

Mom thought I was crazy, and after two days of cold war with me, she reluctantly accepted my decision to cancel the guaranteed admission. For several nights, I heard the sound of guitars coming from the balcony, but I didn’t go outside. I plugged my ears with cotton and read until two o’clock in the morning without feeling tired at all.

    Ye Xixi also said, I am crazy.

    Only I know why. I vowed never to be used by anyone again.

    Never again!

After the entrance exams I received a letter from Ling Xia sent to me from the Internet, the letter was not long, it was written as follows.

    Hello, Tianyi.

    By the time you receive this letter, I have moved out of your next door.

    I’ve been guessing why you’re avoiding me. I couldn’t guess, so I stopped guessing. Ha ha.

    But I will respect all your decisions and will remember that there was a lovely girl who used to listen to my songs with such care and gave me a lot of encouragement.

Perhaps everything is fate.

    But wherever we are, may music, love, thoughts and hope be with us.

    Blessings to you.

    Your friend: Ling Xia.

    I deleted it with a hard heart. Not allowing myself to shed a single tear.

    A month later, I received a letter of admission to the Chinese Department of a famous school in Shanghai. Yu Feng and I got into the same university, studying computer. But Ye Xixi was mistakenly admitted to Guangzhou. When she left, Yu Feng and I both went to see her off. When the train was about to start, Ye Xixi poked her head out of the window and said to me, but also to Yu Feng, ” Fate is a very helpless thing, don’t you think?”

    “Have a good trip.” I cling to her hand, and did not directly answer her question.

    Life in college was far from being as good as I thought it would be. After the novelty of it, it was all about the boring homework, day in and day out, which was boring. I did not have friends, occasionally Yu Feng came, accompanied me to eat a meal. When I had time, I chatted with Ye Xixi and Luo Lin on QQ and heard them say to me worriedly, “Tianyi, you’re getting like an old man everyday, where is your energy?”

    Yes, where is the old energy?

    I said self-deprecatingly: I’m turning 18, I’m getting old.

The day before my birthday and the day before Christmas, my uncle came to Shanghai on a business trip and brought me a big bag of delicious food. I went with him to the five-star hotel where he was staying. Standing at the window of the tenth floor and looking down, Shanghai was brilliantly lit up at night. Uncle said, “Tianyi, uncle has been wanting to ask you, what’s on your mind?”

    “Nothing.” I said.

    He didn’t push me and sipped his tea.

    He didn’t push me and sipped his tea.

“Uncle.” I said, “Do you think you’ve been successful?”

    He smiles, “Not bad. “

    “Is it possible to do whatever it takes to be successful?”

    “What’s the definition of success?” Uncle said, “That’s a deep question. For example, your father, do you think he was a failure?”

    I don’t say a word.

    “But in my heart, he was the big brother I always respected the most.” Uncle said, “When I was a child, he took me to school every day and never let anyone bully me. When I went into business, he was the only one who supported me. If it wasn’t for bad luck, he could have done even better than I did. Tianyi, when you are more mature, you will learn not to measure a person’s success simply by fame and fortune.”

    My uncle spoke with the utmost sincerity, and I was so impressed that I couldn’t speak for a long time.

    “Say something you like to talk about.” Uncle broke the silence and said, “Do you remember that boy named Ling Xia? His first album has been released and is said to be selling well. He gave me one, but I left in a hurry and was so focused on bringing you food that I forgot about the record.”

    “Oh.” I said lightly, “He owes you a big thank you.”

    “What does that mean?” Uncle didn’t understand.

    “If it weren’t for you, would he be here today?” I said, “I mean the concert you sponsored.”

    “Hahahaha.” Uncle laughed, “I’ll tell you a secret, I was the big winner of that concert. Thanks to Ling Xia’s idea for me, he is an expert in this field. I only paid a reasonable advertising fee, and the company’s popularity has increased many times. You don’t understand, Tianyi But I have you to thank for that. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have known Ling Xia, would I?”

    I had almost forgotten that Ling Xia had told me that his major was international trade and finance.

    “That young man is a talent.” Uncle said, “Unfortunately, he is all about singing, how many times I tried to poach but failed to do so!”

    “But ……” I still find it strange, “how did you get acquainted?”

    “You are more forgetful than I am!” Uncle chided me, “Once you asked me to pick you up from Silk Street, but you didn’t go, causing me to make a trip for nothing, and I talked with Ling Xia for a long time that day.”

    So that was it.

It turned out that the harsh and mundane truths I had imagined were a complete false impression. And I had shamefully sunk to this day for a false impression that I had imagined.

    “Let me take you back to school.” My uncle didn’t detect any difference in me, but said happily, “Tomorrow is your birthday, I’ll pick you up from school and treat you to dinner. Eighteen years old, adult, congratulations.”

    Yes, tomorrow, I will be eighteen years old.

    I hugged my uncle gently and said goodbye to him.

    There was no snow on Christmas Day in Shanghai.

    I wore a thick cotton jacket and walked into a video store near my school. I actually saw the poster as soon as I entered, and the man standing at the front was him, with his snow-white sweater and bright, intoxicating smile. I told the owner that I would buy an album by the Silki Street Band. The owner, a very cute young man, took the album off the shelf and handed it to me, saying, “Support original Chinese music, I’ll give you a 20% discount!”

    “No need.” I took it, looked down and counted all the money to him.

“You’re a very interesting girl. You don’t want a discount?” He was surprised.

    I raised the album in my hand and asked him, “Have you heard them, their songs?”

    “It’s okay.” He shrugged and asked me, “You seem to like it?”

    I smiled and walked out. Yes, I liked it a lot. I’ve always had so much faith in Ling Xia’s music. Not to mention the title of this album, called “Fate (天意)(Tianyi)”.

(T/N : Tianyi’s name means fate 天意）

THE END