Flying Gulls Never Land

I called Sheng min Ou's phone, and repeated the same action, until the few electricity completely zero, the phone can no longer turn on, the opposite is always no answer.

Squatting in the hospital corridor, I scratched my hair in pain and buried my face in my arms.

He didn't answer my phone. Even at such a time, he still refused to answer my call. I just want to listen to his voice, as long as give me a little comfort, I can still hold on, even if there is no hope of pain But he didn't want to satisfy me with such a small request.

"Liar..." I closed my eyes and blinked away the sour heat.

I held a posture for a long time until a gentle voice came from the front of me. I looked up and saw a young nurse looking at me anxiously.

"How are you, Mr. Lu?"

I wiped my face and stood up from the ground: "it's OK. Is the car coming?"

The nurse nodded: "the car of the funeral home has come. It's parked in the underground garage. You can get down."

While talking, the nurse pushed out a stretcher bed from the ward. The bed was slightly raised and covered with white cloth.

When he came to me, maybe because of the turbulence, a pale and thin hand suddenly dropped from it.

"Wait..."

The nurse stopped immediately. I stepped forward and carefully held the cold, lifeless hand firmly and put it back under the white cloth.

Not long ago, the picture held by this hand is still vivid, but now, the owner of the hand will not call me "a Feng" with a smile, nor will he nag me with cold clothes and hot water.

People die like a lamp out, like Tang Poxue. But when the wick is burned out and the snow melts, there will be no trace in this world. You will not remember a lamp carefully or remember a grain of snow with your heart. People are not the same, people lost, left is countless memories, is unforgettable deep feelings, is endless regret, is the unspeakable regret.

To pick up my mother is a long black car, I took the co pilot and went to the funeral home. When I went through the formalities, the staff asked me if I wanted to hold a farewell ceremony.

My mother had told her to laugh at her and feel sorry for her. She knew that few people would really feel sad for her.

"No more."

After hearing the words, the staff put a bright red seal on the receipt, handed it to me, and asked me to wait at the ashes collection office.

Today, it's cloudy and cold. The heat is not turned on at the ash collection area. The tile floor is chilly. The plastic stool seems to be covered with ice dregs, which makes people sit uneasy.

After waiting for more than half an hour, my mother's name finally appeared on the big screen.

The ashes were put in a plain white jar and sent to me with residual temperature.

Holding the urn, I said thanks to the staff and turned to go out.

The cars in front of the funeral parlor are not easy to hit. Several cars in a row didn't carry passengers, but as soon as I saw the urn in my hand, I sped away, so fast that I didn't even remember their license plate number and disappeared.

I can only enter the funeral home again, ask the staff to borrow the seat machine, call Wei Shi and ask him if he can come to pick me up.

Wei Shi asked me to wait without saying a word. He said he would come soon.

I stood by the side of the road, holding the urn in one hand and smoking in the other. When the ground was covered with cigarette butts, I was blown by the clamorous cold wind, my hair was dancing, and my brain was aching. Wei Shi's car came slowly from the other end of the road.

Sitting in the car, the warm air surrounded me all of a sudden. I took a long breath of relief and felt a sense of rebirth.

"Feng, are you ok?" Wei Shi took time to look at me, "you look very bad."

I put the urn on my leg and rubbed the cold surface with my fingertips.

"It's OK." The last remaining temperature on the jar has disappeared. Sheng min Ou once said that black is the last song of life. No, black is not its finale, cold is.

It's too cold.

I lowered the back of my chair and closed my eyes: "call me when I get to the cemetery."

When Wei Shi drove to the cemetery, it was already dark. He wanted to go with me, but I declined.

"No need to accompany me. I'm a lot of adults. Can't I do this?"

Wei Shi held the door, and his expression was not relaxed: "a Feng..."

"Really not." Before he finished, I refused again.

Seeing that he couldn't persuade me, he had to compromise.

"Take care of yourself, then."

With ladders and tools, the cemetery staff opened my father's niche for me and put my mother's urn in.

From then on, their husband and wife can finally reunite and denounce me as an unfilial son.

After three obeisances to the alcove, I didn't stop much. Thanks to the staff, I went to the parking lot alone.

Wei Shi was surprised to see me coming back so soon: "finished?"

"It's over."

Wei Shi started the car and said in a deliberate light tone: "go, third brother, please eat."From just now on, I felt chilly and my head swelled, like some fever.

In the afternoon, I jumped into the pool and didn't have time to take a bath and change clothes. My mother woke up and was busy until now. The clothes on the body were blown by the cold wind and covered by the body temperature. Although the clothes were almost dry, the shoes were still wet. The feet seemed to be soaked in the snow water, so they could not warm up.

"No, third brother. Take me to the mall near our store."

"Shopping mall?" Wei Shi said in surprise, "do you want to buy anything? Do you want me to accompany you? "

"I'll find someone." After a pause, I added, "look for my brother."

I leaned against the door, and the passing lights left tracks in front of my eyes.

Sheng min gull is like these lights, clearly close in front of my eyes, but I am difficult to grasp, and I in him, but also just passing by.

"Yes, you must inform him when your mother dies."

Wei Shi didn't say anything more and soon drove me to the gate of the shopping mall.

By this time, it was completely dark, everywhere the lights were bright and neon was flashing, and the city was as bright as day.

Say goodbye to Wei Shi, I go to Sheng min Ou's law firm with my hands in my pockets.

Although it is already 7:00 p.m., there are still many people who have just left work. I take the elevator all the way up. On each floor, there are dark people waiting to squeeze in. The scene is quite spectacular.

Finally, on the floor where Jin Shang office is located, I tried my best to squeeze out of the crowd and almost squeezed out my shoes.

This force, I feel more dizzy.

The light of the law firm was still on. As soon as I got to the door, I saw the front desk coming out with a bag on his back.

"Mr. Lu?" She was surprised to see me. "Why did you come all of a sudden?"

"Where's my brother?" Aiming at the inside of the eye, it seems that there are many lights on, there should be someone left.

The front desk said: "recently we have received a big case, and lawyer Sheng attaches great importance to it. Today, we held a video conference with each other for a whole day. It seems that I just went to smoke in the corridor."

She gave me a direction.

I nodded at her and turned to the safe passage.

Push open the heavy safety door, and come to the strong to choking smell of smoke.

Sheng min gull leaned against the wall, smoking and playing with his mobile phone. The cold white light on his face made his facial contour more profound and his eyebrows and eyes more gloomy.

When he heard the sound, he looked up and looked at it. He was a little stunned, and even his hands were still.

"What else? Give me one. " I went up to him and asked him for a cigarette.

Sheng Minou hesitated and gave me the whole pack of cigarettes in the inner bag of the suit, even the lighter.

I sat down on one side of the steps, lit a cigarette skillfully, and then looked up and puffed a puff of smoke towards the Sheng min gull.

"Mom's dead."

In the haze, I couldn't distinguish his expression. I could only hear him say to me in a voice without ups and downs: "I'm sorry."

"Why don't you answer my phone?"

He looked down at the phone screen and tucked it into his pants pocket: "I didn't promise to answer your phone."

"Damn it..." Originally, I wanted to scold the worse. I thought his mother was my mother, and stifled the last word back, "Sheng min ou, do you hate me so much? I hate it so much that you don't want to ask you to answer the phone? "

Sheng min gull did not reply, silently as if for a moment took a dumb medicine.

Is he too lazy to deal with my vexatious, or is he considerate that I just lost my mother and don't want to see with me?

"Mom knows what I think of you." I hung my head, staring at the warm yellow tiles under my feet and said with a wry smile, "her only wish before she died was to let me not see you. She took my hand and told me to get married and never see you again She asked me to promise her, and she begged me to

I grabbed my hair in chagrin: "I can't speak, I can't make a choice Why can't I make a choice? "

My mother took my hand and just wanted me to nod my head so she could walk safely. But I'm just standing there like a fool, and I can't guarantee anything.

"Lu Feng..."

The strength of her holding on to me was getting smaller, and the dim light in her eyes darkened. She heaved a long sigh, accompanied by a long groan, as if to exhale the last bit of anger in her chest.

With this sigh, her fingers slowly loosened and no longer held me.

When her fingertips fell completely and couldn't hold my hand, I suddenly regained my mind and grasped her drooping palm in my backhand.

"Mom?" I called her in panic, but she just half opened her eyes and stopped responding to me.

Trembling, she went to her breath and found that she was no longer breathing.

Because I can't achieve my last wish before I die, I can't close my eyes when I die.

I hold the hand, my forehead against it, my strength gradually dissipated, my knees bent, and I slowly knelt to the ground.

"I'm sorry..."I know I don't do it well, I always can't do it well. I should have been a better son, but I didn't, I didn't deserve to be her son.

"I'm sorry Sorry... "

My son, they are really unlucky. They might as well have lost me and raised the placenta, which may be of some use.

I kept kneeling in front of the hospital bed, holding my mother's hand and constantly telling my apologies until the nurse found something strange and called for a doctor to pull me up from the ground.

Pain, regret, loss, and a little at a loss. There is no one in the world who loves me. In this world, I love one less person.

There were nurses and doctors around, but I never felt so lonely.

I can't wait to call Sheng Minou to confirm his existence, but he didn't answer my call or return my message.

Not even a full stop

Clearly know that I can be satisfied as long as a little sweet, but he is stingy even the shadow of a sugar is not willing to give.

I know he has his job, he has his life, I am nothing to him, just a dog's priority can be above me. I know, of course I do.

There is no one in the world who loves me any more, and the only person I love doesn't love me.

He treats me like a weed and keeps me away like a flea.

Even if I die, he will not shed a tear.

I know it all.