Flying Gulls Never Land

Smoke has been burned to the end, gently shake, long ash will collapse down, stained the back of the hand, produce sharp pain.

"Listen to her."

Above cast a shadow, I raised my head, Sheng min gull has stood in front of me.

He blocked the only light source, his face was immersed in shadow, and a little bit of eye light from his eyelids was cold and heavy.

I "ha" laugh: "yes, I should listen to her."

Without warning, I jumped up and rushed at him, like a wild animal showing its claws, clenching his fist and swinging it hard at him.

The fist hit the cheek accurately, and Sheng min gull's face deviated to one side. I gasped and punched again. This time, he stopped my fist and landed a clean punch in my abdomen.

For a moment, my internal organs seemed to be crushed. I endured the pain and didn't give up the attack.

Two people tangled together, pulling each other's clothes, rolling in the dirty ground, have completely ignored what decency.

The rising body temperature made my mind dizzy, and the little strength that I finally gathered quickly lost.

Sheng min gull finds the opportunity and presses me to the ground.

He clasped my shoulder and the whole person pressed on me: "are you crazy enough?" His flat suit is always wrinkled and messy, with blood stains on the corners of his lips. The bangs fall down to cover his eyelashes. He is embarrassed and angry, "I warned you not to get close to me. Who are you blaming yourself for being cheap? Lu Feng, the world does not have to revolve around you, like to have is a child's delusion, how old are you still dreaming? "

In his opinion, I'm just crazy and mean.

I lie on the cold ground, suddenly feel very tired, body tired, heart more tired.

Over the past ten years, I thought I could last longer, but the avalanche was so unexpected that I couldn't stick to it any longer.

"Sheng min ou, I'll ask you a question." I spoke quietly and looked into his eyes, not missing any emotion in his eyes. "Ten years ago, you deliberately designed Let me go and find Qi Yang's? "

In the past, I have avoided thinking and asking about this question, but today, I am eager to know the answer. Maybe subconsciously I also know, know the answer, I can completely give up.

Sheng min gull listen to my words, at first seems to have not responded, slightly frown.

I saw that he didn't answer, gritted his teeth and asked again, "did you mean it?"

He stares at me for a long time, straightens up and loosens my shoulder.

"On purpose?" He used a slow tone to repeat my words, the next second suddenly bent over and grabbed my neck. His beautiful face was gloomy and terrible, "yes, I did it on purpose."

The palm of my hand gripped the throat, oppressed the trachea and blocked the air circulation. I grabbed the hand like a pair of pliers, but I couldn't shake it.

He pinched me and put his lips in my ear. He said softly, "everything is on purpose. You were going to die, too. Unfortunately, Qi Yang is useless. You've only been jailed for ten years with yourself. "

I was shaking uncontrollably, because of the lack of oxygen and because of his words.

Maybe it's better to die like this

Negative thoughts suddenly came into my mind, and I gradually stopped struggling and allowed my consciousness to be swept by the darkness a little bit.

"Why, want to die?" Sheng min gull's tone with a contemptuous smile, pinched my strength and relaxed, "to die far away, don't dirty my place."

The air burst into my lungs in an instant. I coughed and breathed instinctively. Tears were coughed up from the corners of my eyes.

Sheng min Ou stood up as if nothing had happened, straightened out the crooked lapel, patted off the floating ash on his body, and then copied the scattered bangs to make him look like a human being as much as possible.

I covered my throat and wanted to get up, but because I didn't have the strength, I coughed on my side.

In the sound of coughing, the footstep sound of leather shoes stepping on the floor tiles steadily goes towards the safety door.

"Lu Feng, you are not only cheap, but also cowardly."

The safety door opened and closed, and the breath gradually calmed down, and the silence returned.

I stare at the crack in front of my eyes, slowly lower my head and press my hot forehead against it.

"Lu Feng, you are so cheap..." My voice was hoarse, and I was lying there with my fists hitting the ground. Only through this way of self abuse can we calm down and not lose our sense.

I don't know how long it took. It could be ten minutes or half an hour. I staggered to stand up from the ground, the back of my hand had been covered with purple, just hanging on the side of my body and shaking gently.

Instead of taking the elevator, I walked down the stairs from the safe passage like a walking corpse, stopped a taxi by the side of the road and went home.

As soon as I entered the house, I couldn't even take off my clothes, so I fell on the bed.

I feel pain and cold everywhere. If I die in this bed and my family, it will be a good ending.

I closed my eyes and let myself fall into darkness.

This sleep is very uneasy, for a moment, my father died in front of me, and then I dream of the cat on the bed of Sheng min gull.The two memories overlap together, making the dream world full of cruel blood.

My father had a car accident on his way home from work. At that time, my mother had been waiting for him for a long time. She was ready to go out to look for him. She was wearing a coat. The phone call from the hospital came. A truck didn't see my father and ran over him directly.

When my mother panicked and took us to the hospital, the doctor said that my father was dying and asked us to meet him for the last time.

The rescue room is a horrible picture I will never forget. My father is lying on a stretcher bed with all kinds of pipes on his body. A white sheet covers his neck.

Below his whole abdomen, like a broken water pipe, blood slowly seeps from under the bed sheet, spreads outward, and drips continuously to the ground, and soon a pool of red liquid accumulates under the stretcher bed.

Seeing such a tragic situation, my mother finally couldn't help crying out the name of my father, begging him not to leave us, and begged him to hold on for us.

My father is more sober than my mother. He knows what his situation is. He doesn't talk nonsense. He gives his last words one by one with his last strength. He doesn't waste any time.

First of all, he asked my mother to raise us well, so that we could go to university, especially Sheng Minou. He must let him go to high school entrance examination. My mother promised to come down, he looked at me, asked me to listen to my mother's words, can't be naughty again.

The first time I faced death, I was still a little confused. I was afraid and miserable in my heart. I just tried to learn from my mother and beg him not to die and leave us.

However, this is not what he wants to be able to do. He swept my mother and I with nostalgia, and his eyes finally fell on Sheng Minou.

Sheng min gull lowered his eyes and looked at the bright red stand under his feet. From beginning to end, he stood on the side like a wooden carving without any sense of existence. He neither panicked nor shed tears.

He seemed to feel my dad's eyes, looked up and whispered, "Dad."

He was wearing a white school shirt, standing next to my father. One was dying, the other was young, just like God arranged, the most real and cruel dramatic conflict.

"Don't be afraid..." My father's voice has become smaller and smaller, and his face is visibly gray, but he still tries to smile at Sheng min gull. "Dad believes you will become a Good Good people... "

In order to hear what he said after, Sheng min gull had to step into the pool of blood and lean close to his lips.

I can see my dad's mouth moving, but I can't hear any of his voices.

A moment later, Sheng min gull stood up and looked at him, finally nodded: "OK."

To this day, I still don't know what the "good" means. But my father listened to his promise and closed his eyes with a smile. After a while, the machine gave out a piercing tinnitus, and the undulating lines on the monitor tended to be straight.

My mother burst out a shrill howl, pushed aside Sheng min gull, and threw herself on my father.

I stood there in a daze. The doctors and nurses came and pushed me out of the crowd.

Ears are full of crying, eyes are white and red.

I swallowed my saliva and looked around, only to find that Sheng min gull was missing. Only a string of bloody footprints on the ground stretched out to the door.

I followed the footprints and found him at the door, sitting against the wall.

He buried his face in the arms, folded his hands to hold his arms, fingernails pinched the arms, leaving a half moon deep red mark.

I crouched down beside him and touched his body anxiously: " Brother? "

He was shocked and raised his head from the crook of his arm. His eyes were red, but there were no tears.

"Dad died..." I buried my face on his shoulder and sobbed, "we'll never have a father again."

He allowed me to cry, and after a long time he said, "I know."

From my father's accident to the funeral, Sheng min Ou didn't shed a tear from the beginning to the end. I had overheard my mother complaining with her friends that Sheng min Ou was a white eyed wolf. My father was so kind to him, but he didn't feel hurt even when my father died miserably.

At first, I didn't agree with her. I only thought that Sheng min gull must be hiding and secretly crying, not really that cold-blooded.

Later I understand that tears are something he doesn't have. How can you show him what he doesn't have?

It's also my life that I shouldn't die. After lying in bed for two days and nights, I didn't eat or drink, and even my fever subsided. It's just that you can't stop sweating. You'll feel soft after two steps.

I wanted to order a takeaway for myself, but I found that the porridge shops were closed earlier. I realized that today is new year's Eve.

From the rice bowl dug out the only one pot of rice, cooked a pot of porridge for himself, better than nothing to deal with a meal, after eating and want to lie in bed.

Outside the door suddenly came the sound of "bumping" on the door. Every time, it was urgent and heavy, just like asking for a debt.

I walked to the door with a flimsy step. Looking out of the cat's eye, I saw two door gods, Wei Shi and Shen Xiaoshi, standing on the left and right.

Seeing me for a long time, Wei Shi lifted his chin to Shen Xiaoshi, indicating that he would continue to smash the door.I quickly opened the door before the two grandsons broke it.

"What can I do for you?"

When Wei Shi and Shen Xiaoshi saw that I finally opened the door, they couldn't help but squeeze into the room from both sides of me.

"When I call you, you turn off the phone, and you think something's wrong with you." Wei Shi put the bag in his hand on the table and saw the bottom of the pot of porridge. He frowned and said, "are you going to eat this? Come on, third brother bought you some delicious food. Shrimp dumplings, steamed wheat and big wonton, please come and have some. "

Shen Xiaoshi also put his plastic bag on the table, and at a glance he could see many vegetables, meatballs and other ingredients.

"Brother Feng, let's have hot pot in the evening." He hummed and took out the contents of the bag one by one.

In fact, I had no appetite, but I still sat down and ate a shrimp dumpling: "today's new year's Eve, don't you go home?"

Wei Shi waved a big hand: "my parents are tired of seeing me, and I'm too lazy to go back. I'm going to live with you this year."

Shen Xiaoshi also said: "yes, I've been with you this year."

I knew that they didn't have a place to celebrate the new year's Eve. They just couldn't rest assured of me, so they insisted on spending New Year's Eve with me.

In this way, my life is not too failure.

After swallowing the food in my mouth, I nodded and said, "OK, then you prepare the hot pot, and I'll go to sleep again."

Stagger into the bedroom, this time sleep no more chaotic nightmare.

As soon as I wake up, the room is full of food aroma. The Spring Festival party is playing on the TV that has not been turned on for a long time. Wei Shi and Shen Xiaoshi move the table to the living room and put some washing materials on it. They are ready.

When the doorbell rings, Shen Xiaoshi runs to open the door. Yi Dazhuang appears outside with two bags of beer.

In this world of fireworks, once a flash of negative thoughts like a joke.

Dead fart dead, so dead, not just like the meaning of Sheng min Gull? It's enough to live. Do you still want to die?

No, absolutely not.

Lao Tzu's teeth are bare and his body is rotten. He can't walk any more. He must live longer than Sheng min ou.

When eating, Wei Shi saw the wound on my hand and asked me what happened.

"I fell by accident." I put that hand under the table.

He looked at me for a while, still in doubt, but did not ask.

Outside the window, I don't know who lit a string of firecrackers, crackling, very lively.

The sound of hot pot, firecracker, TV, and voice of people, in this mixed noise, I raised my drink cup and saluted the three people on the table.

I wish them a happy new year and thank them for their perseverance.